The Trackless Path

Love and what we are apart from all that we've become...

I am sad

For how the world has gone.

But you don't know why.

If I were to tell you,

You might say 

That I was intolerant

Or bigoted

Or blind.

But I am not.

It is not a sin

To believe

That one thing is better

Than another.

And I do not hate you

If I believe

That you are wrong.

It is my right

To mourn for you.

It is a prerogative

Which does not require

Your approval.

And I am content 

To do so quietly.

Would to God 

That you would 

Mourn for yourself!

But in the absence

Of that sorrow 

Which you lack,

I will grieve 

In your behalf...

For I am sad.

These Beggar's Bowl episodes are like rain barrels.

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Life is so fleeting, so fragile, so beautiful.

You can't help but go out and experience it

To spite the risks.

And the wind races past as the sun sets

And whips her braid behind,

So beautiful, so fleeting, so fast.

And the world is tired, and old,

And she races across her path

As the sun sets, so beautiful.

And I'll forget that she might die in an instant

For the sake of knowing life so close.

I suppose this poem 

Will be short.

That's all I have time for.

But poems don't work that way.

They have a life of their own.

And so today

I write a bad poem.

It is bad

Because I hold it close

And do not let

It have its head.

If I did,

It would pull me along 

And keep me up until

All hours.

So there you go.

My apologies.

This poem is 

No more than a space

Between two 

More meaningful 

Works...

But you see

Already, it has drawn me in.

I try to finish 

But it holds me.

"I'm not done" it says.

It insists that we end well.

And to end well,

We must say something.

Damn!

But here I go!

I am ending this poem.

I won't live this way,

Enslaved to a tyrannical muse!

Ha!

So there!

The End!

And we haven't said a thing.

And it is miserable

And we both are sad.

But I suppose it is just as well.

I will sleep tonight

After I mourn 

The loss of something 

I don't know what

And never will.

Good night muse.

I love you.

"I love you too" he says.

Until tomorrow muse...I am sorry.

"It's OK. I understand"

I believe he is asleep now.

He really is a faithful friend.

I could not wish for better

And I am sorry 

That I treat him so.

Truly, I am ashamed.

But tomorrow I will be better.

Tomorrow, I let him roam

In sunlit meadows

Where the wildflowers grow

And we'll spin a poem

That you'll remember.

And perhaps you'll like it so much

That you'll read it again and again.

And now I suppose

That I must be to sleep also.

Good night all.

God bless.

Until next time.

Hello,

My name is Jonathan McCormick and I would like to say thanks for all of the great work that you have done on The Chosen! It seems to me that it is a very important work and that it is also timely. It seems that the world has been prepared to hear these stories retold at this time and in this way. And I am so grateful that all of you have felt called to participate in its production. Thank you!

With all of that said, I also have a small suggestion that I hope might be of use. You see, even though I have watched all of the episodes of The chosen, I have not yet made a contribution. And there is a particular reason why I have not contributed. Several times, I have watched an episode and thought to myself, you know, I think I'm going to make a donation. And then I clicked on the pay it forward button and was met with the suggested monthly amount of $150 monthly. During much of the time that I have been watching the chosen, I have been living on $200 a month. Not really, but in a way, yes. I send most of my income to support loved ones with whom I am currently estranged. After that, I try to live simply. I have embraced the new trend of van life and live mobile so that I can avoid paying rent and etc. But I do have a few bills. And after I pay them, I can count on having about $200 a month most of the time. And that money has to cover groceries and etc. And I've been able to make it all work by going to the food bank and trading for things I need and etc. Of course, sometimes the van needs a repair or some other large expense comes along, and God has to intervene in some way. And he does, for which I am so grateful. It always seems to work out. Sometimes, I work an extra shift. And sometimes some unforeseen miracle comes along. I don't tell you all of this in order to elicit sympathy. I really do love my simple life and am so much more than content with the way that God is blessing me from day to day. But I share the particulars of my budget so that you will understand the suggestion that I make. You see, each time that I have gone to make a donation, I have scrolled the donation bar all the way down to the bottom. And I have discovered that the minimum amount that I can pay has been $15. And until recently, each time that I did so, it's so happened that I could not afford $15. LOL! Of course, I know that it is easy to justify such things. It is easy to excuse oneself in never giving because we believe that we can't afford it. And so I said a little prayer to myself asking what I should do. And I seemed to hear a still small voice suggest that perhaps there are other places where I can be of help. And so I did not donate. But I really did want to donate. I found myself wishing that there was a smaller amount. I knew that I had at least had a fiver. And so I thought to myself, maybe next time.

Well, fast forward to today. I recently received a raise at work. And I have been putting in more hours. And I have found myself thinking about donating to The chosen again. But I haven't. I find myself struggling to get up the motivation to do so. You see, each time that you asked me for $150, and I had to scroll the bar down to $15, and then realize that $15 was more than I could afford, I felt a little bit discouraged. I found myself thinking "what is $15, much less $5, compared to the production costs of the Chosen? Even if I could give $150, it wouldn't even buy one round of Starbucks for the cast and crew." And so, it felt as if my small donation wasn't really wanted. And interestingly, I did not even start to think that way until I realized that you favored large donations. And by asking me for so much when I had so little, it caused me to feel disinclined to donate, not because I don't love the show and appreciate so much the work that you do, but because it felt as if you didn't appreciate what I had to give. It appeared as if you only wanted the big dollars. And it is discouraging to give when you feel like it is not appreciated.

Now of course, I know that it was not your intention to leave that impression. Dallas has said many times that we should bring what little we have and see what we can do - just like the loaves and fishes. But it occurred to me that you may not realize that your tactics may be discouraging to those who do not have much to give. I've also heard Dallas mention that less than 5% of the people who watch the show give to the show. And I cannot help but Wonder if perhaps part of the reason for that is that those who don't have much to give feel discouraged. I also wonder what would happen if everyone was encouraged to give no matter how little their donation. I think that it would be great if those numbers were just the opposite. What if 95% of the people who watched the show gave? Even if all that they could give was a cup of coffee, or a pocket full of change? And wouldn't they be more likely to give if they didn't have to compare their contribution to an implied expectation to which they cannot measure up. This seems to be kind of important, being that the show is now being sent to third-world countries. I know that my situation is rare for somebody who lives in the United States, but it is not rare in many of the countries to which this show will be going. They need to experience these stories in all their glory. And that takes a lot of money. But they also need the opportunity to give what little they can and feel as if their contribution is appreciated just as much as the man or woman who gives their thousands and their millions.

And so, I recommend that you consider refraining from suggesting an amount, or that, if you do set an amount, that you make it so low that even the widow with her mite will not feel discouraged at offering her all.

And one last thing. I have seen this tactic employed by Wikipedia. Every so many months, they beg me for money. And it really does seem like begging. They go on for about 3 or 4 paragraphs telling me how they hate to be coming once again asking for money but how much they appreciate the contributions, and how much they need them to keep their operation running. And then they tell me how much they appreciate the contributions I have made in the past. And they explain how if everyone only gave $2.75 or some other nominal amount, that it would fund their operations for x amount of time. And then they imploringly ask me for just that: $2.75. Of course they give me an opportunity to increase that amount, but they make it clear how much it means to them that I donate anything. I remember the first time I received such a message. As usual, I had very little discretionary income. But I thought about how often I use Wikipedia and what an essential part of my life it is. And I was struck by the fact that it would be ungrateful for me not to contribute something. And so I donated a small amount that I could afford. And I have continued to donate. And it feels good to donate when they come calling, because, even though their operating costs must be substantial, they recognize the importance and significance of small and simple gifts. I feel like my small donation means something to them. And though, I am sure, that they appreciate large donations, I don't feel any the less for what I cannot give.

Sincerely,

Jonathan McCormick 

I was raised with worn upholstery

And so I am not 

A part of that class 

Which appreciates new things.

I wish it were different at times

But it is what it is.

Once in a while

My comfortable soul

Beguiles itself

Into believing 

That there is a virtue

In my poverty 

But there is not,

No more 

Than there is virtue

In your wealth.

It is a mistake to believe 

In that kind of goodness.

In former lives, perhaps,

I envied you your leather

But not any more.

I rest deep in my old things

and breath the sweet mediocrity

Which contents itself

With the old.

It sounds sad

When I put it that way.

But it is true.

Thank you.

Thank you for letting me be.

We are not so different

You and I,

Both bound by the familiar

Both resting in that thing

Which most comforts 

Our afflictions.

But then again,

Don't put it past me 

To stay in your hotel

Or to relish in your richness

Of a June.

But home for me 

Will always be 

In that thing

Which you discard. 

And if you ever tire of fretting

Over your expensive cache

Feel free to rest 

Upon my couch

It will not fret 

Or show the scratch

Like the leather

One at home.

I wonder if it's true 

This thing I've said to you.

Is it ok, that I don't care

To prosper like the masses?

I hope so,

For I am tired of pretending.

A response to The Chosen, Season 3, Episode 8.

They begin to come down

This time of year

From the Mountains.

And in my town, 

You are as likely 

To see them anywhere

As you are to see people

Or birds at the bird feeder.

But if you are not careful,

Just like birds

They disappear.

Did you know

That there are people

Who cannot see the birds,

People who have not

Seen them for years.

It is one huge 

Mass of metal for them,

And glass, and wood

And papers filled with numbers,

And dates on a page.

But for those still alive

To their soul questions

In October

After the first snows,

The deeper world 

Of the mystic wood 

Seeps down into the towns,

And if you watch,

You will see it

In their eye.

And then you will know 

That there is hope

And that you are not

Out of reach.

Thank God!

It's time for another beggar's bowl.

But I don't know what to say.

And so I'll ask if you can help.

I will continue doing this

One way or the other.

But it means so much

When people cast a vote

To let me live, to work, another day.

I don't ask for much: a couple of quarters, or dimes, as the case may be, or not.

After all, every channel is asking for a handout now-a-days. 

And so that's ok if it's just too much.

But for those with change to spare,

Thank you! God bless you.

And if you don't already know, you can contribute using the Paypal or Venmo. Here are the links:

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Thanks again!

The Trackless Path