At a conference last week, I noticed something peculiar. A tall man was talking business with a woman well over a foot shorter. The sheer disparity in their size made me realize something really important – that she will never know the joys of finishing a full serving of Chipotle! No, that’s not it. It occurred to me that for all this man’s physical advantages – strength, size, comfortable shoes – he has no empirical advantage in business. In this sterile, white-collar world, where meat comes from ShopRite and homes are built by “guest workers”, men have lost their mojo. Like the Woolly Mammoth and that other guy from Wham!, masculinity is nearing extinction. If the male gender is in jeopardy, it got me thinking about how to turn this trend into an opportunity.
TAMING OF THE BEAST
Homo Sapiens have been around for 50,000 years. For much of that time, conditions were terrible…not to mention the haircuts. Humans were weak, nomadic gatherers hunted by predators, who found them slow and tasty. As they developed increasingly complex tools, men became hunters, home-builders, assembly-line workers and eventually, traders at Goldman Sachs. While evolution takes thousands of years, physical labor faded in the last 150. Now technology changes so fast, evolution stands no chance. That businessman is still bigger and stronger, but society couldn’t care less. His primal, competitive instincts now squeeze neatly into a cubicle. If he wants to rage, he’ll have to do it with a snooty email, not a blow to a competitor’s skull. Sure, that makes for a more civil society, but it doesn’t address the widening gap between male biology and its futility in modern society.
Genetic programming runs deep. There are dozens of stories about wild animals raised in captivity by sexually ambiguous magicians. When released, those animals regain their survival instincts, despite a lifetime of wearing tutus and riding unicycles. Human instincts are no different. Take women’s preference for taller men. Unless there’s a rumble at the Olive Garden or your religion scorns ladders, there is little advantage to having a man any taller than Mini-Me. As you can see in this classic 20/20 piece on dating short men, this arcane programming is hard to shake.  Similarly, studies show that attractive people get more job opportunities and love from parents. Growing up, I knew one girl so pretty, she rode her homely brother to school, like a pony. As society races ahead, our knuckles continue to drag.
LOSING PURPOSE
There was a time when being a man meant bringing home a wild boar or losing several teeth to win a mate (who, curiously, also had few teeth…). The role of provider and protector evolved from caves to factories to offices. Money became a weak, but necessary proxy for evolutionary success. Being a “breadwinner” gave men purpose and identity – and saved millions in dental work.
The recent ascent of women has complicated matters. Women have proven every bit as smart and capable, if not more so, than men. Many are financially independent and compete for the same jobs. It’s certainly fair, but there are unintended consequences. The biggest is the loss of male identity. With the roles of breadwinner and mother (aka, giver of life) consolidated under one roof, I’m surprised there’s anything on TV besides Oprah and the LPGA. So what’s left for a man to do? …marry Oprah?
Unless you earn it in bushels, like Trump, or in the bushes, like The Kombai, money and a job no longer define a man. With bruised egos, these over-sized mutants wander the earth, searching for meaning. The recession further clouds their future. Unemployment for men is almost 3% higher. With jobs scarce and prospects dimming, these hairless, broken apes find cheap thrills to soothe that inner savage, if not stave off inevitable extinction.
Listen to Steve discuss this article on the Glimpse of Brilliance Podcast
