Expectation #1: Be on time, use common sense, have common decency and communicate respectfully (duh).
Expectation #2: Just call me Bastienne (or Mommy, if that’s your thing).
Expectation #3: Be present, give up control and HAVE FUN! BDSM is just Cops & Robbers for adults according to lovely sex advice guy, Dan Savage. I couldn’t agree more! Don’t take yourself too seriously and I won’t either.
Expectation #4: Drop the high-protocol expectations. Re-visit that fantasy of being forced into a slave cage, being tied to a Saint Andrew’s Cross, being led on leash and collar by a lady dressed as catwoman. Many of these fantasies are simply short cuts to a desired feeling. You may simply want to feel used, submissive or dehumanized and those ideas are what get you there most reliably.
Identify the feeling you want before your session to get the most out of your time with me. There are many ways to accomplish those feelings, trust me. The functionality of the leash and collar, slave cage, latex, rope, Saint Andrew’s Cross and all those archetypal BDSM staples are illuminated only by your excitement about it, not their intrinsic, mystical powers. At the end of the day, you’re seeking a feeling above all else, the equipment and outfits serve only to get you from A to B so don’t fixate too heavily on them. Concentrate on your mind set and behaviour above all else.
Expectation #5: Submission is actively given. Yup, here in BDSM-land, we all have control issues! That’s why you’re here so don’t let yourself get in the way of enjoying your own session. Fixating on me, what I’m wearing, what I’m doing, when I’m doing it and what will happen next time are all ways that your brain will try to escape the present by attempting to control the future. Don’t let yourself ruin this experience by not …experiencing it. Bust out the meditative practices here and work with me to get you into subspace.
Expectation #6: Use “I want” phrasing for requests instead of “you can”. This is your fantasy - own it. I’m very proficient at getting what I want sexually, that’s why it’s my job. Take responsibility for your fantasies.
Expectation #7: Be direct! Ask for what you want. Don’t be passive with expectations. Communicate clearly beforehand, if I’m not into it, I’ll let you know. Easy peasy!
Expectation #8: Do your research. Here’s my hard limits, a helpful blog post about your first session, FemDom clips and my FAQs.
Expectation #9: Push yourself. Not to someone else’s extreme - to yours! That looks different for each person. I’m a pretty good judge of bullshittery so if you cop out, I can tell. It’s lame and ultimately you’re only fucking yourself over. Get the most out of your session by being ready to push through discomfort, be it physical or mental.
I just love me a shaking body - do what makes you shake ;)
Expectation #10: Let’s have fun. Let me entertain myself using your body. My *real*, euphoric high from Domination comes from a submissive letting me be my true, happy, silly, sadistic self. My style is different, creative and powerful. I love my role so much, just let me do my thing, let me laugh and use your body like a damn dance dance revolution mat or whatever weird shit you and I have agreed to. Here’s a perfect example of me hitting my Top Space high. I want to check all the boxes for you and me simultaneously. For me, that means being real, being present and having fun!
OMG, you were such a good listener, I popped 3 boners about it!
That’s pretty much it, I hope you listen to the audio too! If you need more kinky insights, check out my BDSM blog here.
Until next Tuesday!
xo Bastienne
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