Spiritual shaming is a form of manipulation which implies that your talents and abilities are in question if you do not use them in the way someone thinks you should or expects you to. Or that there are expectations of you because you call yourself ‘spiritual’. Or we spiritual shame ourselves, holding ourselves to an impossibly high standard of behavior because we think that is what ‘spiritual people do’.

Whether we are being spiritual shamed by others or we are spiritually shaming ourselves, it’s not helpful and it is something we need to be aware of and to stop doing because it is interfering in our ascension process and our ability to be energy containers for more high frequency energy.

Sometimes we get spiritually shamed because we don’t help people who come to us  for support and guidance. But those situations are not always simple or uncomplicated, are they. 

How do you manage your energy boundaries to avoid being manipulated by spiritual shaming? Here are some guidelines:

1. Recognize your energy boundaries and don’t let yourself fall into the trap of manipulation or shaming. You are a wonderful, talented, fabulous person who deserves to be respected and valued for who you are and what you do. 

2. Be clear about what you will share with others and what falls outside of that boundary. That way when you do say no you can steer people towards an option that will respond to their question without you oversharing, overgiving, or not being compensated for your time, efforts, and energy.

3. Don’t let others dictate your self worth or self confidence. Someone’s judgment of you is no more than their opinion and when it is stated in anger or fear it probably won’t be very good but that is their issue, not yours. Have your own energy boundaries about who you are and what you deserve, and make them iron clad and Teflon coated so they don’t get blown apart every time someone is angry with you because you are not doing what they want you to do.

4. Make your ‘no’ firm and not subject to discussion and do it for everyone. If you are afraid that people won’t like you if you say no, then you will say yes to everyone, even when you don’t want to. Be firm when you say no, again this is about energy boundaries, and make it stick. You can’t say no one day and yes the next, then you do not look serious. You know you must be consistent with everyone or they won’t take you seriously. 

5. Respect yourself enough to value your time, energy, talents, and abilities. What did it take for you to get where you are today? Probably quite a lot. Respect yourself by honoring your own path and if you do not want to do something, don’t do it. You do not owe anyone a long explanation, a simple ‘no’ is sufficient, or you could say ‘not right now’ and suggest a more convenient date or time, or ‘I have a program that provides a solution for you’ issue and give them the website URL. 

Finally, ask yourself this important question, “If I say yes am I going to resent myself or regret it?” If the answer to that question is yes then say no. You will ultimately feel more respected, more appreciated, and more valued when you recognize your own energetic sovereignty and learn how to control your energy flows. It’s better to have someone try to spiritually shame you than to feel taken advantage of, disrespected, and angry with yourself at not being able to say ‘no’ when you want and need to.

It’s unfortunate that spiritual shaming is a response from people who should know better by virtue of who they say they are but these are challenging times and everyone is feeling a little off. I would never tell someone they were not spiritual, no matter what they were doing because that simply is not my call and I cannot possibly know what their level of spirituality is. 

But I also don’t get too distracted by someone who tries to shame me spiritually because I know that it is a mirror of their own energy and not a barometer of mine. And those people are quickly reminded of my energy boundaries and shown the door because we all get to control who is part of our energy field and only those people who can ‘love, honor, and respect us’ need to be included in that place.

Be aware of your own energy, where you want it to flow, and how you want to interact with others and them with you. Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ when it’s appropriate for you and if you are spiritually shamed for your response, just smile and know that as long as you ‘love, honor, and respect’ yourself that is all that matters.

read the full article on the blog at gpsbusinessacademy.com 

Created, narrated, and produced by Jennifer Hoffman.

Artwork by Jennifer Hoffman.

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