“When you go home today, especially you young kids, I want you to write in your journal one thing you felt while you were here.” - Senior sister missionary to us following our tour of Carthage Jail
Note from the author: Welcome to the very last main edition in this godforsaken series. I’m going to do some kind of haul-type rundown of the books and other paraphernalia I got on this road trip and in the making of this newsletter. New around here? Start with Part 1 now.
This edition is longer than the rest and won’t fit entirely in an email. I recommend reading it on Substack, or listening to the podcast version of PtMiM:MM&MiM on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. All 8 episodes out now.
Don’t forget to follow UTP on Instagram @uffdatimes
At long last, this is the place: the timely and well-deserved passing of Joseph Smith, Jr., the highly influential and controversial inventor of Mormonism.
For 14 years, Joseph had constructed an absurdly successful fandom for his sloppily-retconned fanfiction of the New Testament, where America becomes the main setting and Jesus is no longer the main character. He also made a long, frequent habit of agitating those neutral or opposed to him and his cult.
Joseph Smith was the poster child for recidivists; since the first issue of this limited series, I’ve mocked his frequent interactions with the criminal justice system. The man committed crimes, sometimes minor like a bar fight or scuffle, then would tell his followers that Satan will work to prevent him from prophesying by jailing him for his crimes, and it would obviously happen, which only emboldened the faith of his followers. If you can downplay petty/misdemeanor charges as politically/religiously-motivated, no one will believe authorities when you commit far more serious crimes (read: sex crimes).
The legacy of the criminal prophet lives on in the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS), and their truly evil leader, Warren Jeffs, who continues to run his sex cult Mormon sect from prison following conviction for child sex abuse crimes in Utah and Arizona. They claim they are the only true successor to Joseph Smith’s church after the official church abandoned polygamy to curry favor with the US government in the late-19th century. This was just another in a long line of schisms after Joseph Smith left a power vacuum in 1844, with no heir apparent.
But this power vacuum had to be created, and last week we saw the beginning of the end for Smith as he focused the vast majority of his time to three pastimes, none of which were particularly helpful to the creation of Zion:
* Running for President on a platform of forcing the feds to dispatch troops to deal with “angry mobs” (curious…) and to abolish the carceral prison system (don’t ask why we toured not one but two jails on this trip),
* Using the uniquely-granted political power of the Nauvoo city government to punish political enemies and religious dissenters alike, while protecting himself, and;
* Being a philandering polygamist sex pest.
It’s only fitting that the founder of the most American religion ever would also become the first presidential candidate to be assassinated during a campaign.
This is Putting the Moron in Moroni: Martyrs, Mormons and Misery in Missouri. This week is our final regular edition: the dramatic conclusion to this several-month series about a three-day weekend road trip I did like four months ago.
We visit Carthage, IL, a small town about 25 minutes from Nauvoo and the location of Joseph Smith’s death. We’ll take a guided tour of a jail (talk about a fun vacation) and we see the ugliest summer outfits on poor Mormon women stuck wearing garments (read: at least three layers) in the 95-degree humid-corn-sweat summer.
Thanks for joining us.
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Before we can set out for Carthage and take the much-earned Dairy Queen lunch break around the corner from the jail, we have to catch up on what Joe’s been up to.
As you’ll remember from last week, Joseph was in the throes of a presidential campaign that turned Mormon proselytizers into politickers as the campaign supposedly had a presence in every state at the time. A robust committee was set up to serve as a political and ecclesiastical body in the so-called “Theodemocracy” the Mormons planned to create.
But at the same time, Smith made several significant revelations related to baptisms for the dead, making temple ceremonies more Freemason-like, and introducing polytheism, where faithful Mormon men will become gods themselves. As you might imagine in a world without widespread literacy but full of frontier justice and religious fervor, this was not well-received, especially as the details of Smith’s polygamy became harder for Mormons and outsiders alike to ignore.
In May 1844, the same month that Smith’s Reform Party nominated him for President, William Law, a prominent local disillusioned ex-Mormon leader, announced the creation of a new newspaper: The Nauvoo Expositor.
The Mormons’ usage of the press was the catalyst that enabled their sudden and astronomical growth. In fact, one of Smith’s first commands to the Mormons that arrived in Missouri was to set up a printing press and start publishing pro-Mormon propaganda. While he knew the pen is mightier than the sword, he also knew its power could be used against him.
In early May, Law circulated a notice in town that the Expositor would begin publishing scandalizing information about Joseph Smith, specifically publicly exposing his polygamy, which was still secret at this point. Joseph Smith was enraged, as was the county prosecutor, who indicted Joseph on charges of perjury and “fornication and adultery” based on sworn affadvits from multiple former members. Smith publicly proclaimed that it was ridiculous to believe he was a polygamist and that all of the accusers are liars.
On June 7, the Nauvoo Expositor published their only edition: a four-page paper featuring poetry and fiction stories, but also sworn testimony and statements from former Mormons putting it in the paper how mad they are at Joseph and Hyrum Smith for perpetrating and then lying about the Principle.
Smith convened the Nauvoo City Council—he was mayor at this point—and declared a trial would be held to address the Expositor. In a sham “trial” that lasted just 2 days, Smith’s Nauvoo declared the newspaper as a public nuisance and called for the destruction of the printing press on June 10.
An angry mob of over 100 men raided Expositor offices at Joseph Smith’s command, and destroyed the press. The backlash was immediate and intense. Local non-Mormons were incensed; this was a blatant attack on the First Amendment. TheWarsaw Signal and the Quincy Whig, two papers with a history of criticism of the Mormons called for the arrest of Smith and feared he would seek the same outcome for other critics.
An arrest warrant was issued, but Smith petitioned the Nauvoo City Court, which he effectively controlled, to dismiss the charges, which it did. The Signal was outraged and ramped up attacks and scandalous coverage of the Mormons. On June 13, citizens of Hancock County petitioned the governor for assistance. In return, Joseph Smith declared martial law in Nauvoo and his 5,000-man strong force, preventing people from leaving or entering the area without approval from Smith’s effective theocracy.
The governor responded by showing up to Carthage on June 21 and the Illinois state government breached Nauvoo by June 23. Smith was nowhere to be found, but two days later, Joseph and his brother Hyrum turned themselves in, along with dozens of other Mormons. The Mormons were all freed on bail except for a small handful, namely Joseph and Hyrum Smith.
An important caveat to everything, not that it changes anything in my eyes, is that Smith was not exactly totally innocent: he had a pepperbox handgun smuggled into the jail.
Joseph wrote up an order for the Nauvoo Legion to march from Nauvoo to Carthage and break him and his brother out of jail on June 27. Later in the day, a group of allegedly 200 or so men with their faces painted black approached the jail, allegedly incensed. Joseph Smith had assumed the Legion had heard his call. The Mormons had arrived.
Joseph Smith turned to a jailer, who had grabbed his weapon to confront the mob, and said “Don’t trouble yourself...they’ve come to rescue me.”
Before we even crossed into town, right next to the “Welcome to Carthage” sign, we saw a gun range, which was alarmingly close to to the highway and packed with hundreds of…uh…sportsmen firing guns without a care in the world. An apt welcome to the town that would murder Joseph Smith.
We knew it was going to be busy when we were at Dairy Queen beforehand, and multiple Mormon families were dining as well, including a mom wearing the ugliest summer fit, just like an Old Navy color block striped shirt that so obviously had garments underneath. The poor woman must have been dying in the brutal, humid July heatwave in the middle of Tornado Alley. Our friend brought their cat inside, and we got a lot of stares from patrons.
After enjoying God’s chosen frozen dessert, the Blizzard, headed across the street to the Carthage Jail.
Like the angry mob, we rolled up to Carthage Jail in Carthage, IL. It’s a well-preserved jailhouse, and is more faithful to the original structure than the Liberty Jail we visited a couple of days earlier. Next door is a funeral home-looking single-story building serving as a visitor’s center. The sidewalk leading to the building is lined with cast signs describing Mormon tenets of faith and other bullshit. I got the vibe they were ripping off of the Stations of the Cross. The whole site is fenced in with a 9’ security fence.
We were respectful as we entered and went into the lobby of the visitor’s center. I went to the waiting room, which featured typical Mormon art—the First Vision paintings, a statue of Joseph Smith, and curiously, a room with benches and a TV playing a dramatized movie version of Joseph’s death on loop, with about 5-7 young kids watching while waiting for our tour to start. You know, church!
The wait for the tour was agonizing. Between this and Liberty Jail I am convinced that if Nevermos are on the tour, they will make you wait as long as possible in hopes that you’ll leave. We probably should have.
I sat there waiting, probably for a good 10-15 minutes, observing the various Mormons in the room. Adults mingled in the lobby talking about Mormon things, while their kids were entranced by a re-enactment/dramatization film of a group of men violently raiding the small building outside, shooting at doors and walls and windows. The movie featured cutaways to grieving family members, presumably of Joseph Smith.
Finally, the tour begins. The tour guide, an oddly single senior sister missionary, did not chorale me into the orientation room despite knowing I was going on the tour. At Carthage Jail, missionaries actively avoided talking to me, let alone acknowledge my existence. Off to a great start.
We are ushered into a small, windowless room with pews and a projector screen on the wall. The pews are designed with space to store a box of tissues. There are tissues at every seat because people attending this…informational video (?) will be so moved they start sobbing? Uh, okay. After Liberty Jail nothing surprises me anymore.
She gave us a small itinerary and mentioned this was her first tour without her husband (seniors always serve missions with their spouses) as he was home sick. This would have a detrimental effect on our tour. This woman was completely lost without her 65-page laminated tour guide notes—she was rigorously and totally on-script, with the occasional interjection to spike fervor with Mormon bullshit.
The room was mostly full, probably 25 or so of us from 5-7 groups. Notably, a family with a young kid was present and we were actually extremely impressed that when the baby was screaming or upset, the dad was actually the one to get up and tend to the baby. Are Mormons woke now?
She warned us that it was about to get very dark in the room. She shut the lights off, and for a solid 5-10 seconds it was pitch black. The projector turns on and a video fades into view. You can watch the exact video in full below.
The video is a General Conference speech by one of the 21st century’s most important Mormon leaders, Jeffrey Holland. The gist of his speech, which is among the most frequently referenced in ex-Mormon spaces, is that the Book of Mormon is literally the keystone of the Mormon faith: if Joseph Smith didn’t translate the Golden Plates, then the Book of Mormon is not true. If the Book of Mormon is not true, then the church is not true. He famously uses Hyrum Smith’s copy of the Book of Mormon, and specifically a dog-eared page, as proof that even until the last breath, Joseph and Hyrum were faithfully serving God through the restored Gospel. Yawn.
The “keystone” idea is one of the great psy-ops of the religion, which implants in Mormons the idea that any alternative to the Book of Mormon narrative they’ve received since childhood is so ridiculous that the Book of Mormon must be a true, factual document. A natural thought spiral will lead to Mormons’ “turning it off,” just like in The Book of Mormon, self-reinforcing the legitimacy of the religion by totally dismissing an alternative.
It obviously worked because at least a few Mormons, including the tour guide, were crying when the lights came back on. We left the funeral home building and approached the two-story building. It physically resembles the Liberty Jail insofar as, it is an old, brick, two-story building with stone foundation and is from the bona fide olden days.
In front of the building is a small well. The ground around the building is baseball field dirt-esque, designed for large tour groups and frequent foot traffic shuffling faithful Mormons in and out of a stupid small building with nothing of value inside. We stood outside, in the heat, in the direct sun, for 10 full minutes as she parroted half-truthful “facts” that frame the raid on the jail as entirely unjustified—a work of satan, even.
She warns us not to touch anything; while little to nothing in the house is original, it is set up to appear “period correct.”
I’ve been to several places like this: the Lincoln Cottage in DC, the Confederate White House in Richmond, VA, the old barracks at Fort Snelling. This was the most half-hearted and uninformational example. Much like Nauvoo’s pathetic imitation of Colonial Williamsburg, the old-timeyness of the set dressing is half-assed and superficial. There’s a table, and rocking chair, and dining set, and bed, and chamber pot becuase that’s what’s in all these old places. A small child immediately begins touching the silverware on a dining table in the first room. No one says anything. Inside the ground floor, there is nothing Mormon, nothing uniquely associated with the Smiths, just old stuff. Only come here if you like Old Stuff.
We went upstairs where we were led into a room she warned us would be extremely dark, and maybe even a little scary! All 20-something of us filed into a cold room with unfinished wood plank floors and a bench alongside the exposed stone wall (the rest of the house was drywall). A jail cell took up most of the room stretching to the farthest corner. A ball-and-chains and shackles were on the ground.
She turns her phone’s flashlight off and begins asking rhetorical questions or musing about how the jail cell was “only for violent criminals” and that the Smiths “hadn’t done anything to deserve such cruel punishment.” She asks the youngest kids if they thought it was cold or scary. Our friends cat begins meowing every 15 seconds or so. No one acknowledges it. The guide turns her flashlight on; we’re finally leaving the scary dark jail cell. Surely that was where the Smiths were killed?
Wrong. She lets us know that the Smiths were only in that cell for “a couple of hours” on the first day they got there. This isn’t fucking Mandela’s cell and isn’t even Joseph Smith’s, so why even waste our time?
The jailhouse, much like in Liberty, was really just A House.The reason we went inside the cell was to set the mood. I’m sure faithful Mormons were already in shambles about the shackles their prophet never wore let alone saw.
The horrible conditions had to be hyped because the room the Smiths were actually held in was pretty nice. All accounts tell us that they had ample access to the outside world, were permitted to walk around the grounds, just like in Liberty.
We file down the hallway. Each floor of this house has four rooms, and we go to the one with the window facing out towards the gathering space and the well. My friends and I sit down close to the window on a small bench in front of a twin-sized bed, which was roped off. The room was cramped and had an unremarkable fireplace with a modest mantle, a table and desk. The cat continued meowing even as we sat in contemplative silence.
Meanwhile, in 1844, Joseph felt great relief as he saw the crowd roll up.
We don’t know what happened exactly, but one thing was fairly obvious: this was not a pro-Smith mob, but rather the last and most violent angry mob Joseph would interact with. The guards gave up—some Mormon sources alleged they may even have joined in on the raid—and men quickly raided the house.
The Mormon dramatization matches the story our missionary told. She described a scene where “hundreds” of men were in the house and fired “hundreds” of bullets throughout the jailhouse. The movie depicts drywall, splinters, and sawdust flying through the air as the Smith brothers, along with John Taylor, attempted to slam the door as the rifles were sticking through.
Supposedly at this point, a shot is fired through the door and nails Hyrum right in the head just below his eye. The hole left in the door is “still there” and the area around the hole is well-worn from decades of Mormons fingering it, as we were recommended to do by the tour guide.
I find the entire story suspicious; if there were hundreds of angry mob members all firing rounds at the prophet and his brother, it seems awfully convenient the door only has one hole, and that it happened to be the one that killed Joseph’s brother. So it goes.
In the chaos of the attack, Smith equipped his pepperbox pistol and shot three attackers. All would live. John Taylor, one of Smith’s cohorts, was shot in the chest, but a pocket watch supposedly minimized the wound, and he survived hiding under a bale of hay in the creepy-ass jail cell room.
But even being armed with the restored gospel and a pepperbox pistol wasn’t enough to save the prophet. Joseph was shot twice in the back. He ran towards the window and supposedly hung out the side where he was then shot by someone from below. He yelled out what some interpret to be a “Freemason help signal,” but as far as I can tell, it was just “Oh my God!”
He fell out of the window and onto the ground next to the well in front of the jail where he was found dead. The angry mob quickly dispersed. While there were injuries of mob members, only two were killed: Joseph and his brother Hyrum.
The prophet, and by extension the early Mormon church, was dead.
In July 2025, roughly 180ish years later, we are sitting in the upstairs room where the Smiths unknowingly awaited their fates.
We are told the story, and particularly the accounts of the three survivors. The room is quiet and stuffy. An impatient 3-year-old has his headphones on and is pacing around the room watching or playing something on his dad’s phone. A different dad, the same from the waiting room, is tending to his upset child. The cat continues to meow.
The guide asks more youth group-ass questions about what the characters of the story must have felt. Apparently, survivor John Taylor had been sharing a new hymn he wrote with the Smith boys, and they loved it, and is now permanently associated with the brothers’ deaths. The tour guide shocked us by saying “let’s listen.” She reached behind the clock on the mantle of the fireplace and a bluetooth speaker began blaring the hymn “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief,” which Taylor did not write lol.
We sat in total silence as we listened for the full 5-6 minutes of the crappy hymn. There were sniffles, particularly from the tour guide. The cat had continued to meow. The child never paid attention. Afterwards, the tour guide asked the young kids in the room if they knew who the “Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief Was,” reminding them that they definitely know the answer from Sunday school classes. I thought it was Joseph Smith. Turns out it was Jesus. How foolish of me.
We are finally given the last moments beat-by-beat. Her retelling was nearly identical to the movie and Holland’s speech. Joseph Smith was peaceful, did nothing wrong, and never did anything to piss anyone off. She points out that our group (the three of us actively hostile non-Mormons) were sitting right where the prophet was killed. She leads us in prayer and reminds us second only to Jesus, no one has done more for humanity than Joseph Smith.
Not once in the entire tour of the Carthage Jail did we hear about:
* The city of Nauvoo,
* The Nauvoo Expositor,
* The Nauvoo Legion,
* The Whigs or Democrats,
* The 1844 Presidential election,
* The Warsaw Signal,
* “The Principle,”
* Joseph’s mayoralty,
* The 1838 Mormon War,
* The state of Missouri,
* The 1843 assassination attempt on Smith’s enemy, the former Missouri Governor Lilliburn Boggs,
* or even why Joseph Smith was in jail in the first place, let alone any of his interactions with the criminal justice system.
As she wrapped up, she offered to stay for questions for a few minutes until the next tour group arrived, or we could pray with her. We did neither and bolted to the parking lot.
Before she dismisses the tour and lets us leave, she leaves us with one final thought:
“When you go home today, especially you young kids, I want you to write in your journal one thing you felt while you were here.”
Well I felt at least one thing, and it’s that I never need to visit a single fucking Mormon holy site, temple, church, Crumbl Cookie, Swig, BYU game, or anything ever again.
That is, of course, until I go to Utah.
From 1830 to 1844, Joseph Smith went from a treasure-hunting Upstate New York farm boy Tom Sawyer-type, to dubiously-earnest leader of what is undoubtedly the most successful Second Great Awakening religion, before he assumed his ultimate identity: a philandering sex pest who blatantly flaunted the rule of law at every turn, betrayed loved ones, allies, and friends, and played the victim wherever he went.
Joseph Smith’s Mormonism was plagued with problems. Far beyond infighting and theological differences, Smith’s hubris and effective exaltation as a cult leader was his ultimate undoing. Despite his paranoia, he allowed his unquestionable power, lust, and constant theological revisions to alienate powerful members, punish dissenters, and ultimately force their hands into one final angry mob. Those same dissenters would go on to set up centuries of splinter groups and schisms that continue to this day.
After Smith’s death, the Mormons were expelled from Illinois. A power vacuum formed and multiple people claimed succession: Brigham Young won out for power of the largest branch, today’s Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Other splinter groups exist, but the largest is Community of Christ, who felt Joseph’s son Joseph III was the true successor. Sidney Rigdon had his own sect, and there were many others.
Emma Smith would leave Mormonism and stayed in Nauvoo for the rest of her life. Brigham Young sought to leave the United States and the vast majority of Mormons soon followed. They would travel west until hitting the Salt Lake Valley in what was then-Mexico, where Young famously said “this is the place.” Shortly after, Brigham Young would make “The Principle” public, leading to decades of further toil and violence between the United States government and Mormons.
Today, the largest concentration of Mormons in the world is in Utah, although more Mormons live outside the US than in it. The Mormon church runs wildly successful missionary work across the globe, with particularly important presences in Polynesian countries.
The schisms of the mid-19th century have created a legacy of new, unauthorized prophets, seers, and revelators that continues today.
In some cases, as Jon Krakauer writes in Under the Banner of Heaven, a Mormon sect may just be the final word in hyperlocal patriarchy: confined to one home, where the father is literally a God while women are treated with the same respect one would expect in The Handmaid’s Tale.
Mormons are encouraged from a very young age to have religious/spiritual experiences. “Bearing testimony” every Sunday at church usually includes run-ins with God and the Holy Spirit. Alyssa Grenfell has talked extensively about how she was convinced after multiple conversations, prayers, and visits from the Holy Spirit that God would send her to Italy for her mission, only to be sent to Denver. The biggest fall off her “shelf” was being told her connection to God was mistaken or wrong.
When members are told from childhood that they can tap into a special connection with God, you will inevitably get members who are convinced that they are the true prophet. There are many instances, including in Under the Banner of Heaven, where people with violent tendencies latch onto the revelatory nature of Mormonism and create a cult in their home. This is how polygamist groups like the Fundamentalist LDS church (FLDS) near Short Creek on the Utah-Arizona border formed, and in turn, a 10,000+ member sex cult where the man at the top is “married” to over 150 different women.
I won’t be covering anymore Mormon history—I think I’ve infodumped enough.
If you’re interested in contemporary Mormonism practices, culture, and doctrine, I recommend ex-Mormon YouTuber Alyssa Grenfell, author of How to Leave the Mormon Church. She covers everything and offers valuable insights as someone who was extremely devout even into her 20s.
Mormon history really just gets started after Joseph’s death; I recommend you check out ex-Mormon YouTuber/journalist Johnny Harris’ deep dives. Like Alyssa, he’s a terrific primary source, and he specializes in comparative political analysis. Johnny’s “History of Utah” video is an incredible sequel to this series that picks up on Mormon history right from Smith’s death.
As I said in the first edition, Mormons are more culturally relevant than ever. I try to avoid supporting pro-Mormon or even Mormon-agnostic shows like Secret Lives of Mormon Wives because I think they’re duplicitous and even if the stars are far from “perfect” Mormons, they are still practicing Mormons nonetheless. Mormon cultural hegemony is very bad, and I strongly recommend you stay away from anything that might give them money or positive/neutral PR.
Here’s some other media I’ve enjoyed:
* Jon Krakauer’s Under the Banner of Heaven is an incredible non-fiction novel about the history of the church juxtaposed against its darkest moments,
* John Turner’s Joseph Smith was indispensable for this series and is great if you need to know more about his dumb ass,
* Brigham Young Money is an irreverent podcast series, whose guest feature on Lions Led By Donkeys’ episode on the Nauvoo Legion was largely responsible for my interest in this history,
* Missouri ex-Mormon hardcore band Missouri Executive Order 44 has amusing songs about Mormonism although I wouldn’t say it’s good music,
* As poorly as it has aged in general, South Park has incredible episodes about Mormonism. I’ve never seen The Book of Mormon, but it’s made by the same people.
* Any number of horrific true crime shows including:
* Under the Banner of Heaven (Hulu)
* Keep Sweet, Pray and Obey (Netflix)
* Murder Among the Mormons (Netflix)
As I wrap up the main articles of this series, I have some thank yous.
I thank you for sticking with me throughout these last three-ish months as I’ve slowly gotten a grasp on early Mormon history and combined it with on-site visits to the world’s most D-tier roadside attractions and F-tier religious holy sites.
Thank you to my partner Emily, our friend Mel, and Ducky the cat for being excellent companions and grounding us back in reality when we left the Mormon Black Hole of Cognitive Dissonance and Propaganda.
Thank you to the various Mormon missionaries for respecting my distance, not trying to convert me, and answering questions earnestly and eagerly whenever they arose.
Special thanks to:
* The older sister missionary at Liberty Jail for gassing up Emily’s style and her younger counterpart who so obviously wished she wasn’t in Liberty, Missouri,
* The Red Dead Redemption 2 NPC Mormon at the Country Store for giving us the detour directions for Adam-ondi-Ahman,
* The Depot Hotel in La Plata, MO for being the best hotel I’ve ever stayed at outside of a major city, and to Mel for picking it (not one, not two, but three TVs in the lobby showing live stream footage from RailFans.com—it’s a 100% train-themed hotel),
* The senior sister missionary at Carthage Jail who tried her best even if she was creepy as hell,
* The Nauvoo sister missionary who chose to not further confront Emily who was drinking coffee at holy sites,
* Every ex-Mormon who lives an authentic life after escaping the cult of Mormonism. I am so sorry you grew up in a cult.
* and Mel, again, for making this trip possible. They shared so much of their life and upbringing in Mormon culture with me, including lending me a copy of their mom’s Quad (the Bible, the Book of Mormon, The Pearl of Great Price, and Doctrines and Covenants all rolled into one) and gifting me Mormon stuff like a children’s songbook and kids’ book on church history (after Smith), not to mention my endless questions considering they were the first ex-Mormon I’d ever met.
My last and most regrettable thank you is to the unwaveringly detail-oriented "academics” at Brigham Young University and The Joseph Smith Papers project.
Without unfettered, free access to primary and secondary sources, this series would not have been possible. I may not have cited many sources, but I can tell you that a good 60-80% of my research comes from these documents, which are meticulously documented and edited with annotations/hyperlinks for companion documents/scripture, preserved misspellings (Joseph Smith could not read), and contextual information that is still generally factual.
I think it’s really ballsy for a church to publish an extremely comprehensive catalogue of these unflattering letters, pamphlets, notes, minutes, revelations (many of which present contradictions to revelations before and since), and significant diversions from accepted Mormon theology/lore/history. I find it even more fascinating that all of this material can exist freely for anyone to find and yet Mormons will literally turn a blind eye to their darkest histories as contradictions, even when they’re presented to them by the church on a silver platter.
Mormonism is a cult through and through, and a historically dangerous one at that.
No group of people has effortlessly combined the libertarian fervor and violence of manifest destiny, the holier-than-though piousness of the Second Great Awakening, and the ironically very-American yet thoroughly anti-American streak of self-determined theocratic fascism quite like the Mormons. Not only that, but Mormons have (in their eyes) successfully rebranded as quirky, faithful Christians. Despite the rebrand, it’s become increasingly apparent since September that Mormons continue to be happily strung along by evangelicals despite being an out-group of today’s iteration of Christian nationalism. I guess you reap what you sow.
The religious sites we visited were occasionally tranquil, frequently smelly, and sparsely populated with visitors. At times they felt like cruel jokes played on earnest religious families to test what they will put up with and still affirm their faith. Most of the time it was just hot and fucking miserable.
So, don’t go to Nauvoo. Don’t go to Carthage. Don’t go to Far West. Don’t go to Independence or Jackson County, MO. Don’t go to Clay County, MO. Don’t go to Caldwell County, MO. Don’t go to Missouri. Don’t go to Illinois outside of Cook County. And stay the hell away from Iowa.
Whew! That’s over. If you bothered to read or listen to all 8 versions, I bet you have a friend who might like it too. Share Putting the Moron in Moroni with all the morons in your life.
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