Scott and Evan talk about church planting and separating the sheeple vs. the GOATS.

Count Jesula visits! And then Solomon has a SPOOKY IDEA on how to solve a dispute between two moms!

(Yes, this episode starts with Evan hitting the boom mic. No, he couldn't figure out how to fix it in post.)

Content warnings: violence, sexual verbiage, spooky content

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST! Carlae Ray Gypsum and PSY (Psi-op anyone?) are messengers from the divine, announcing the anti-Christ!

And also Anti-Christ.

Content warnings: language, lewd humor, sexy jokies

God: "Moses, go do my bidding." God, three seconds later: "Imma throw hands."

Also, we talk a lot about circumcision.

Content warnings: language, self-harm talk (circumcision), and sex talk (we really just always put this here just in case)

SPECIAL EXCLUSIVE: Evan and Scott have dated women who are NOT THEIR WIVES. We dive into the realm of Christian dating, and there's nothing SUS about the RIZZ we're DRIPPING.

Content warnings: sex jokes and stuff

Okay, so this episode WAS supposed to be about Zacchaeus (you know--the short guy who climbs up in a tree?), but we got distracted.

Content warning: language, sex stuff, scat reference

Dear Daddy God, Sorry. I mean, Daddy God. Sorry. Daddy God. Sorry, I mean, Daddy God.

Also, we talk about mission trips:

Content warning: Sexual references (probably)

The Sermon on the Mount is WEAKSAUCE. Scott tries to guess if something is LIONEL RICHIE or a WORSHIP SONG. Also, you won't BELIEVE what this twelve-year-old said when his parents found him after THREE (five?) DAYS!

Content warning: sexual content (yep), profanity, mentions of death

WHOSE CLOTHES WILL BE LEFT BEHIND? And HOW MANY CLICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE BRIDGE? TERMINATOR TAKING OVER CHURCH!?!?

ALIENS. BROTHERS. MURDER. WAIT NOT MURDER. KIDNAPPING THOUGH.

Content warning: sexy donny osmond