The Uncommon Communicator

What is a promise?
A promise is a manifestation of intent to act or refrain from acting in a specified way at some point in the future. It's communicated by one party, to at least one additional party, to signify a commitment has been made.
Jean-jacques Rousseau said it clearly: Those that ae most slow in making a promise are the most faithful in the performance of it 

The Toastmasters promise debate 

Does the organization need to provide for the success of each club or is each member responsible for the overall success? 

Is this the "Why" of its time?

Will giving and oath and a promise From every member of the organization result in the overall success? 

The Toastmaster promise:

Attendance 

Do projects according to guidelines

Provide useful feedback

Be friendly and support a atmosphere of growth 

Serve in leadership when called upon

Respect

Bring guests

Follow the rules

Act on the core values Integrity, respect, service, and excellence. 

Will giving and oath and a promise from every member of the organization result in the overall success?  YES 

The UC Moment : Make clear promises and keep them 

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Things to prepare for in a hand off and avoid being the fire hose. 

Think about the organization of the information

 Daily weekly Monthly duties 

Create a plan that gives that information…meeting daily? Weekly 

Be prepared to make the best use of the time

What is a flow that would make sense to hand off the information

Steps that build upon each other

Don’t put the cart before the horse

Would shadowing be a way to introduce the activities?

Consider the level of expertise of the receiver

Often times your replacement is a greener version of yourself

Remember what its like to NOT Know 

Allow time for self study and reflection / Provide Homework research

Review of the  information already presented really irons the learning in. 

While you are handing things off, check in, be emotionally intelligent to the receiver and most of all Remember what its like to NOT be New. 

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Active listening is something we talk about a lot as far as being a good communicator 

Some characteristics of active listeners include good eye contact, undivided attention, and patience. The active listener’s demeanor helps the speaker feel respected

Empathic listeningThis type of listening includes the mechanics of active listening and takes the listener a step further. The empathic listener begins with the intent to immerse themselves fully in the other person and what they are experiencing.

Actively being heard Being heard and ensuring that the other person understands your perspective is crucial for effective communication and building positive relationships. Here are five ways to help you achieve this:

Active Listening:To be heard, first, become an active listener. Pay full attention to the speaker, maintain eye contact, and avoid interrupting them. Show that you're engaged in the conversation by nodding, making verbal acknowledgments like "I see" or "I understand," and asking clarifying questions when needed. This not only encourages the other person to share their thoughts but also signals your willingness to understand their perspective.

Empathize:Empathy is a powerful tool for ensuring the other person knows you care about their viewpoint. Try to put yourself in their shoes and understand their emotions and feelings. Acknowledge their emotions with phrases like, "I can see why you might feel that way," or "It sounds like this situation is important to you." By acknowledging their emotions, you validate their feelings and create a more open and receptive environment for sharing your perspective.

Use "I" Statements:When expressing your perspective, use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For example, say, "I feel that..." instead of "You always..." This shifts the focus from accusing or blaming the other person to expressing your feelings and thoughts. It helps to avoid defensiveness and encourages a more open dialogue.

Clarify and Summarize:To ensure the other person understands your perspective, summarize what they've said and ask for confirmation. This not only demonstrates that you've been actively listening but also gives them an opportunity to correct any misunderstandings. Likewise, when you express your viewpoint, encourage them to summarize it back to you. This two-way clarification ensures that both parties are on the same page.

Be Patient and Respectful:
Patience and respect are fundamental when trying to be heard and understood. Give the other person time to express themselves fully, even if you disagree. Avoid interrupting or becoming defensive. Wait for an appropriate moment to present your perspective calmly and respectfully. Show that you value their input and are willing to engage in a constructive conversation.

In summary, being heard and ensuring the other person understands your perspective involves active listening, empathy, using "I" statements, clarifying, and summarizing, and maintaining patience and respect throughout the conversation. These strategies create a more open and empathetic communication environment, fostering better understanding and stronger relationships.

The UC Moment for today is …… Establish yourself to actively be heard

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The Uncommon communicator is the individual that has the enlightenment to recognize in any situation whether communication has occurred. This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possesses the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast where we bring enlightenment to the topic of communication. 

Ed Gable has been my long time brother, I feel like I have known him all my life. Along with being family and my big brother we also shared the family trade of Millwright. Ed has went on through the apprenticeship and after being a Journeyman, he decided to get into Union Leadership. We both share a love of Communication, influence and negotiation. As a Union representative he  understands the ins and outs of collective bargaining, but also carries enough tactical empathy to listen to and understand all sides of the table. 

What is Collective bargaining?

Collective bargaining is a negotiation process in which a group of workers, often represented by a labor union, chooses a representative to advocate for better terms of employment.

This representative undertakes negotiations on their behalf.

Pros: 

Gives workers a larger voice. 

Improves quality of life 

Encourages Cooperation 

Cons:

Has the potential to not fully represent the group. 

To collectively bargain in a personal situation, you become the spokesman or representative. 

It’s better to have one clear voice in a situation, someone that can remain calm and communicate clearly and concisely. 

The UC Moment for today is …… 

Use your skills to collectively bargain and advocate for those around you. 

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Enjoy this throwback and very popular episode - Both Hosts of The Uncommon Communicator are enjoying some time off: 

Our Guest today William Bullock, 

Negotiator for the UK Police and currently serves as the asset manager for the UK Ministry of Defense.

He has spent 13 years as the most experienced and qualified hostage negotiator in the UK and have produced a groundbreaking conflict management training course. 

 A Hostage Negotiator's specialist art of conflict management in gaining influence and developing collaborative working relationships has been crafted together in this unique course which has been created from the most advanced and specialist communication tactics in the world and adapted for the corporate environment.

We had a great conversation with William. His experience as a hostage negotiator is a great background that translates to all levels of communication. He has received numerous trainings that he has turned into his own ground breaking training.  Please check out his website : https://www.negotias.com/

We learned that the idea of the Black Swan that Chris Voss talks about is also the Hook or the gateway. William shares a story of a scenario practice where a gentleman misses the hook, that was presented to him . If pots and pans are bubbling over, it may have nothing to do with the kitchen.

The topic turned to the idea of empathy. William tells a story about how empathy literally disarmed a knife wielding man. A powerful illustration of how our communication affects the world around us.

Find William on linkedIn and give him a follow : https://www.linkedin.com/in/william-bullock-3979161b0/

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What is parking brake communication?

Communication suppression is the holding back of information because of avoiding an uncomfortable conversation or to prove a point.   

Everyone does it some degree . Driving with the parking brake on holds back our relationships.

How take the brake off?

1.    Rip the band aide off before it explodes 

a.    Or before the issue dies 

b.   Apply the correct timing – Be tactful  

c.    Use clear and concise messaging.

d.   Empathetic and active listening 

  

2.     There are consequences.

a.    Be prepared for the results 

b.   You will be better either way if you apply the principles correctly. 

The UC moment is:
 Don't drive with the parking brake on 

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We continue the Conversation with Greg Gazin. 
Greg Gazin, “The Gadget Guy”, is a serial entrepreneur, freelance technology columnist, small business & technology speaker, facilitator, author, avid Podcaster and producer of Toastcaster.com.

He's recently published his 1st book: Corey OutSMARTs the Butterflies.

Greg is also a dedicated and Distinguished Toastmaster and currently serves as
a Past District Governor (Director), Toastmasters District 99. He's also one of the hosts for the Toastmasters International Podcast.

 Greg has a unique take on the idea of podcasting and communication.  Check out the complete episode as we talks about the three sides of the mic:
Listener
Guest
Host

You can findGreg on LinkedIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/greggazin/
You can purchase his book here: https://www.amazon.com/Corey-OutSMARTs-Butterflies-Greg-Gazin/dp/1496044592

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Deflection is turning aside, off course or diversion. 

We see it in two aspects:

1.    Deflection of a question or avoiding an answer

2.    Deflection of Praise 

1.   Deflection of a question or avoiding an answer

Who deflects and why?

People use deflection as a way to get someone else "off course," so to speak, if they're being criticized and feel the need to defend themselves. Typically, they'll deflect onto the person calling them out, though they can also shift blame to an entirely separate person.

What should you do when someone is redirecting?

·      Remain Calm

·      Redirect the conversation back to original topic.

·      Address your concern. You may need to dig into a deeper issue.

·      Let it go and move on.

2.    Deflection of praise or compliments 

It is hard for many people to take a compliment. There are a few reasons for that difficulty. The first is that most people do not want to be seen as vain or boastful. So, when someone compliments you, it creates a mild embarrassment in which the recipient feels like accepting the compliment will make them seem as if they are publicly acknowledging their own greatness—which isn’t far from bragging. In addition, many people have reservations about their own performance, and so they may not feel as though they deserve the compliment they have received.

·      Doubting the sincerity of the compliment 

·      Low self-esteem, not wanting to appear or seen as proud.

·      Being a perfectionist

How to best receive a compliment?

1. Respect the person giving you the compliment: Recognizthat people are taking a risk in saying what they appreciate about you and are putting themselves out by saying something they have seen in you they like. Connect with a feeling of gratitude and respect for them as you hear the compliment.
2. Accept the compliment: Simply say: “Thank you”.
 3. Praise the compliment: You may wish to acknowledge the appreciation by saying something in praise of the compliment, such as: “Thank you, that means a lot to me to hear that”, or “Thank you, that’s kind of you to say that”.
 4. Returning the compliment if it is appropriate: this is not to be done as a default response to a compliment, but you may feel something you wish to say in response. The example in the video is where someone says: “I’m really enjoying this conversation with you” and you respond with “Thank you, that’s really good to hear.  I’m really enjoying talking with you as well.”

The UC Moment for today is …… Just say thanks

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Greg Gazin, “The Gadget Guy”, is a serial entrepreneur, freelance technology columnist, small business & technology speaker, facilitator, author, avid Podcaster and producer of Toastcaster.com.

Greg's columns currently appear at Canoe.com, Troy Media, GadgetGreg.com, GadgetGuy.ca, Active-Life Magazine and others. He's also appeared on a number of TV & Radio Programs including CBC's Blue Sky, CTV News Channel Express and CITY TV Breakfast Television.

He's recently published his 1st book: Corey OutSMARTs the Butterflies.

Greg is also a dedicated and Distinguished Toastmaster and currently serves as
a Past District Governor (Director), Toastmasters District 99. He's also one of the hosts for the Toastmasters International Podcast

In this interview we get into the mind of a Toastmaster and talk about the benefits that come from this great form of self improvement. 

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