The Uncommon Communicator

The Yes...And method is an improvisational technique developed by The Second City, a renowned comedy theater and training center in Chicago. The technique is based on the principle of accepting and building on your partner's ideas in an improvised scene.

The "Yes" in Yes...And refers to accepting and acknowledging what your scene partner has said or done, rather than denying it or contradicting it. The "And" in Yes...And refers to building on your partner's idea by adding your own contribution to the scene.

By following the Yes...And method, performers can create an environment of collaboration, trust, and support. This technique helps improvisers to stay present in the moment, listen actively, and respond creatively to their partners.

The Yes...And method is not only useful for improvisation but can also be applied to other areas of life, such as business, education, and personal relationships, to foster teamwork, innovation, and communication.

Here are five main ways the Yes...And concept could foster teamwork, innovation, and communication:

1.    Encourages Collaboration: By accepting and building on each other's ideas, the Yes...And concept fosters a collaborative environment that promotes teamwork. For example, during a brainstorming session, team members can use Yes...And to build on each other's ideas and come up with innovative solutions.

2.    Sparks Innovation: The Yes...And concept encourages people to think creatively and take risks. By embracing new ideas and perspectives, team members can develop more innovative and original solutions. For example, a company can use Yes...And to create a culture that encourages experimentation and new approaches.

3.    Builds Trust: The Yes...And concept promotes active listening and non-judgmental responses. By valuing and acknowledging everyone's contributions, team members can build trust and respect for each other. For example, during a team meeting, a Yes...And approach can help team members feel heard and valued.

4.    Enhances Communication: The Yes...And concept requires clear communication and active listening skills. By practicing these skills, team members can improve their communication and avoid misunderstandings. For example, during a negotiation, a Yes...And approach can help both sides feel heard and find common ground.

5.    Increases Adaptability: The Yes...And concept encourages flexibility and adaptability to changing circumstances. By embracing change and uncertainty, team members can develop resilience and agility. For example, during a crisis, a Yes...And approach can help a team find creative solutions and adapt to new challenges.

The UC moment : You can be agreeable with out agreeing . Life is really an improve...be yourself. 

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Premature elaboration refers to the tendency of a person to provide excessive or unnecessary detail when communicating information. Here are some tips to avoid and correct this behavior:

1. Plan ahead: Before you communicate information to your direct reports, take a moment to plan out what you want to say. Decide what information is necessary to convey your message and what details can be omitted.
2. Keep it concise: When communicating information, it is important to be clear and concise. Stick to the main points and avoid going off on tangents or providing unnecessary details.
3. Consider your audience: Different people have different communication styles and preferences. Consider the needs and preferences of your direct reports when communicating with them. Some people may prefer more detail, while others may prefer a brief overview.
4. Practice active listening: When communicating with your direct reports, take the time to listen to their questions and concerns. This will help you better understand their needs and provide them with the information they need.

The advantages of using the correct time and place to give information to direct reports are numerous. By providing information at the right time and in the right place, you can:

1. Increase productivity: When employees have the information they need to do their jobs, they can work more efficiently and effectively.
2. Build trust: When you provide information in a timely and appropriate manner, you demonstrate your commitment to your employees and build trust.
3. Reduce stress: When employees have the information they need, they are less likely to feel stressed or overwhelmed.
4. Improve decision-making: When employees have access to the right information, they can make better decisions and take more informed actions.

Overall, providing information at the right time and place is a critical component of effective leadership. By avoiding premature elaboration and being strategic in your communication, you can build stronger relationships with your direct reports and help them achieve their goals.

The UC Moment: You can avoid premature elaboration by being more strategic in your conversations. 

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Why do we use the words "brutal" and "honest" together?

If we examine the definitions, brutal means “savagely violent,” and honest means “morally correct.” Interesting, right? How two very different things are associated so closely together.

In our society, the term “brutally honest” is often accepted as a positive quality. Take a second to pause and think about your dealings with someone who is “brutally honest.” Is it really a good thing?

The Brutally Honest Conundrum

When someone declares themselves “brutally honest,” they get an easy out. By adding the word "honest" after "brutal," they are informing you that they are about to hurt you, but that you should not experience any hurt because they're just being honest. That is a twist that's not only confusing and unfair, but it's also likely to make you feel that you're wrong for experiencing the hurt. That's gaslighting.

It’s the equivalent of phrases like these:

• Not to be rude, but…
• No offense, but…
• You wanted my opinion, so you can’t be upset.

And when these phrases are spoken, the person gets an unfair opportunity to say what they think or feel without taking the time to formulate their message in a more thoughtful way.

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• “Interesting fabric; I don’t know how you can wear that,” Stacy says to her friend Jen.
• “You always have stories that drag on and on,” Steve says to his wife.
• “I can tell you’ve been eating a lot of carbs lately,” Natalia’s mother tells her.

The brutally honest are unfiltered. We know exactly what they’re thinking as they’re thinking it. While sometimes it can be nice to not have to guess what someone is thinking, most times we don’t need to hear each and every thought the people around us have.

The receiver of the brutally honest message is left dealing with the hard “truth” alone because the curt way it’s delivered does not offer a safe space to keep the conversation going.

What if there’s a way around this? What if there’s a way to deliver an honest message without causing more damage and hurt? Luckily enough, there is. It’s "truth with compassion."

Truth With Compassion

Truth with compassion involves expressing your truth with the intention of promoting awareness rather than hurt. When a message is perceived as hurtful, the person you’re attempting to communicate with is more likely to shut down or go on the defensive. Basically, brutal honesty shuts down communication. Truth with compassion encourages communication.

Here’s how to do it:     
 1. Stop and think about the message you want to communicate. Understand what you want to express before vocalizing it.

2. Reflect upon who you are communicating with. What is their personality like? Do they have certain sensitivities? How can you express yourself in a way that they will hear you?

3. Pick the best time and place to communicate the words you’ve decided are most effective.

The Uc Moment : Timing , Constructiveness and What is your intention? 

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An uncomfortable conversation is defined by the difficulty or sensitivity of the topic being discussed and the emotional responses it evokes in the participants.

Generally, an uncomfortable conversation involves a topic that is difficult to discuss, such as personal conflicts, taboo subjects, or controversial issues. It may also involve challenging someone's beliefs or actions, discussing sensitive topics like politics or religion, or addressing topics that evoke strong emotions like fear, anger, or sadness.

1.Having the conversation

2.Navigating through or out of the conversation

Beginning the conversation can be challenging but once you get it started you will realize it was worth it. 

Know your goal. 

If you go into the conversation with out an expected outcome, than you can’t be disappointed with the results. 

1.     Acknowledge the difficulty of the conversation: Recognizing the potential discomfort of the conversation can help to create a sense of empathy and understanding between the participants. For example, you might say "I know this is a difficult conversation to have, but I think it's important that we address this issue together."

1. Start with a positive statement: Beginning the conversation with a positive statement or observation can help to establish a constructive tone and create a sense of mutual respect. For example, you might say something like "I appreciate your perspective on this issue, and I'd like to share my own thoughts with you."
2. Use "I" statements: Using "I" statements can help to avoid sounding accusatory or confrontational. By focusing on your own feelings and experiences, you can express your concerns without placing blame on the other person. For example, you might say "I feel uncomfortable when we talk about this topic, and I'd like to discuss it further with you."
3. Ask open-ended questions: Asking open-ended questions can help to engage the other person in a dialogue and encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings. For example, you might ask "How do you feel about this situation?" or "What are your thoughts on this topic?"

If you are in the conversation, maybe you didn’t start it, how do you navigate through for best results or just get out of there?

1. Stay calm and focused: In any difficult conversation, it's important to remain calm and focused. Take deep breaths, remind yourself of your goals, and avoid getting caught up in the other person's emotions.
2. Listen actively: Active listening is important in any conversation, but it's especially crucial in uncomfortable ones. Listen carefully to what the other person is saying, and try to understand their perspective.
3. Show empathy and build rapport: Empathy and rapport-building techniques can help to create a sense of connection and understanding between you and the other person. Show that you respect their feelings and opinions and look for common ground.
4. Use positive framing: When discussing a difficult topic, use positive language to focus on potential solutions and positive outcomes. Reframe the conversation in a way that highlights mutual benefits.
5. Use strategic silence: Silence can be a powerful tool in any conversation. Use pauses to give yourself time to think, and to encourage the other person to continue speaking. Silence can also help to create a sense of reflection and introspection.

Always have in your preparation a way to get out. 

1. Politely redirect the conversation: If the conversation is going in a direction that makes you uncomfortable, try to redirect it to a more neutral topic. You might say something like, "I appreciate your perspective, but I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about this topic right now. Can we talk about something else instead?"
2. Use a nonverbal cue: Sometimes, nonverbal cues like shifting your body language, 

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Heuristics 

Heuristics are mental shortcuts for solving problems in a quick way that delivers a result that is sufficient enough to be useful given time constraints. Investors and financial professionals use a heuristic approach to speed up analysis and investment decisions.

Why do we use heuristics?

The human brain and all its processes—including heuristics—Developed over eons. Since mental shortcuts save both cognitive energy and time, they likely provided an advantage to those who relied on them.

The study of heuristics was developed by renowned psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky. Starting in the 1970s, Kahneman and Tversky identified several different kinds of heuristics, most notably the availability heuristic and the anchoring heuristic.

Since then, researchers have continued their work and identified many different kinds of heuristics, including: Homework, look into the other forms of heuristics 

Familiarity heuristic

Fundamental attribution error

Representativeness heuristic

Satisficing

Let’s discuss two of the most notable 

What is the availability heuristic?

The availability heuristic describes the mental shortcut in which someone estimates whether something is likely to occur based on how readily examples come to mind. People tend to overestimate the probability of plane crashes, homicides, and shark attacks, for instance, because examples of such events are easily remembered.

What is the anchoring heuristic?

The anchoring heuristic, or anchoring bias, occurs when someone relies more heavily on the first piece of information learned when making a choice, even if it's not the most relevant. In such cases, anchoring is likely to steer individuals wrong.

 UC Moment : Like the Pirates code, Heuristics is more like guidelines than actual rules. 

How does this affect the Uncommon Communicator? Seeing this in yourself first but also understanding this in your conversations will help you better understand your counterparts 

Also, use this for quick decision making. 

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This week we welcome our guest Felipe Engineer Manriquez https://www.linkedin.com/in/engineerfelipe?miniProfileUrn=urn%3Ali%3Afs_miniProfile%3AACoAAADDa68B6mm9VG0gSMmdeJITzyum01TPsf4&lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_search_srp_all%3BJwvGHIMiSWa3f71xJZgwxQ%3D%3D

Scrum is  a  great framework for communication.  Felipe shares some great stories and nuggets.
Make sure you check out the EBFC show. The Easier Better For Construction podcast.  https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-ebfc-show/

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The Uncommon communicator is the individual that has the enlightenment to recognize in any situation whether communication has occurred. This uncommon communicator takes ownership of the conversation and possess the skills to navigate and facilitate the conversation to mutual understanding.

Welcome to the Uncommon Communicator podcast, your host James Gable and Brandon Thompson are here to bring enlightenment to the topic of communication. 

In this week's episode we discuss Ego. What it is and how to guard our conversations.

Ego, in psychoanalytic theory, that portion of the human personality which is experienced as the “self” or “I” and is in contact with the external world through perception. It is said to be the part that remembers, evaluates, plans, and in other ways is responsive to and acts in the surrounding physical and social world. – At least is Sigmund Freud’s definition 

Egotism is defined as the drive to maintain and enhance favorable views of oneself and generally features an inflated opinion of one's personal features and importance distinguished by a person's amplified vision of oneself and self-importance. It often includes intellectual, physical, social, and other overestimations. The egotist has an overwhelming sense of the centrality of the "me" regarding their personal qualities. 

First let’s talk Ego:

·       Ego helps establish moral standards 

·       Becomes a defense mechanism 

·       Isn’t overwhelmed by its own drives but can direct them into useful channels 

·       A lack of ego can lead to an inferiority complex , the individual becomes less capable of productive work. 

·       Ego weakness underlies the inflated sense of self. Leading to Egotism

Egotism:

Egotism is closely related to an egocentric love for one's imagined self or narcissism  – indeed some would say "by egotism we may envisage a kind of socialized narcissism". Egotists have a strong tendency to talk about themselves in a self-promoting fashion, and they may well be arrogant and boastful with a Grandiose sense of their own importance. Their inability to recognize the accomplishments of others leaves them profoundly self-promoting; while sensitivity to criticism may lead, on the egotist's part, Narcissistic rage  at a sense of insult.         

Top 5 ego based communication killers :

1)        Interrupting when someone is in the middle of a thought. 

2)       Interjecting Stories into other’s comments or discussions.

3)       The 90 Second Rule. – Has the other person spoke in the last 90 seconds 

4)       Disconnected Comments 

5)       Disregarding others' opinions 

The UC Moment :

Check yourself before you wreck yourself

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Giving or writing a review is very different from feedback or giving an evaluation. A review is for the masses. Your giving your review to others so you can either enrich them, avise them or plain tell them to look the other way.  This falls clearly into a communication category and requires some skills and tactics. 

Here are 8 tips on giving a great review :

1. Provide useful, constructive feedback. Constructive is the operative word. If its a positive rivier or its about telling a hard truth or opinion, it can be provided in a manner that is helpful. 
2. Be detailed, specific and honest. Details are important. A simple ...It's good doesn't benefit anyone. Give specific details of why you liked or disliked it. and most of all be honest. 
3. Keep it civil and friendly. There is no  reason to let your emotions get in the way. A lot of times , reviews that are just rude or angry get thrown out with the overly glossy ones.  
4. Make sure you are reviewing the correct company, domain or URL. Many bad reviews have been applied to the wrong recipient. 
5. Talk about a range of elements. You can talk about the product itself, but also include customer service. Having a bad product replaced with fantastic customer service will turn a bad review into a positive experience. share it. 
6. Don't get personal. Leave out names, emails or phone numbers. No reason to drag it into the mud ( refer to #3)
7. Update your review as needed. Sometime the review is written after a bad experience and the owner goes the extra mile to make it up. Celebrate the humanness of that. 
8. Proofread your review. A poorly written review will be tossed out by a lot if people, including this Uncommon communicator. 

This tips should improve your ability to give and receive reviews with the right intention.  Adding another tool to your toolbox of ownership of your conversations. 

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The Why and the how 

Why : 

1. According to a study by the Harvard Business Review, workers who prioritize their tasks are 90% more likely to be successful in achieving their goals.

2. A study by the American Psychological Association found that people who prioritize their tasks are less likely to experience stress and burnout.

3. According to a survey by the online project management tool, Wrike, setting priorities can increase productivity by as much as 25%.

By adopting habits and strategies that promote effective prioritization, individuals can achieve their goals and reduce stress and burnout. The statistics mentioned above provide evidence that prioritization is a valuable tool for success.

How:

1. Focus on one thing at a time: It can be tempting to multitask, but research has shown that multitasking can lead to decreased productivity and lower quality work. Instead, focus on one task at a time and complete it before moving on to the next one.

2. Set clear goals: Setting clear goals can help you stay focused and motivated. When you have a clear understanding of what you want to accomplish, it is easier to prioritize your tasks accordingly.

3. Use time-management techniques: Time-management techniques, such as the Pomodoro Technique, can help you stay focused and productive by breaking your workday into manageable chunks of time.

4. Prioritize tasks based on urgency and importance: As mentioned in my previous answer, it's important to prioritize tasks based on their urgency and importance. This can help you ensure that you are completing tasks in a timely and effective manner. Triage is a great term for this. Service the gunshot wound over the sprained ankle and the others will work themselves out. 

Learn to say "no": Saying "no" can be difficult, but it is an important skill to develop if you want to prioritize effectively. If you are constantly taking on more than you can handle, it can be difficult to focus on the tasks that are most important.

What is the Pomodoro Technique? 

The Pomodoro Technique is a time-management method that involves breaking work into intervals, typically 25 minutes in length, separated by short breaks. Here are the key points of the Pomodoro Technique:

Choose a task to work on
Set a timer for 25 minutes
Work on the task until the timer ring 
Take a short break (usually 5-10 minutes)
After every fourth Pomodoro, take a longer break (usually 15-30 minutes)
 
Repeat the cycle until the task is completed

Here's how the Pomodoro Technique can be applied to setting priorities:

1. Create a to-do list

2. Determine the urgency and importance of each task

3. Prioritize tasks based on urgency and importance: Use the Pomodoro Technique to work on your highest-priority tasks first. 

4. Use the breaks to evaluate progress

5. Stay focused: During each Pomodoro, stay focused on the task at hand. Avoid distractions, such as social media or email, that can interrupt your concentration and derail your progress.

By using the Pomodoro Technique to prioritize tasks, individuals can break their workday into manageable chunks of time, focus on their most important tasks, and avoid becoming overwhelmed or distracted.

The UC Moment: You need pie, Trust in the pie 

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In this episode The Uncommon Communicator returns to the interview format. WE are still trying to work out the kinks.

Our Guest Dan Faucher is a Certified Master Facilitator for Lean Design and Construction, facilitating, training and coaching dozens of companies and agencies in various principles, tools and techniques. He is also the co-author of a new book, Lean Project Delivery: Building Championship Project Teams.

Listen in on this episode as we dive into communication, body language and a master facilitator story that will have you on the edge of your seat.

You can check Dan's LinkedIn page here : https://www.linkedin.com/in/danzpage/

Here is a link to the Tom Brady article: https://leandesignconstructionblog.com/?s=Tom+Brady

Please connect with Dan and let us know you thoughts on this week Podcast . Email us at [email protected]

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