The Uncommons

Everyone tells you having a baby is hard. Nobody really prepares you for what postpartum can do to your marriage, and almost nobody talks about what the dad may be going through at the same time.

In this episode, we get completely honest about our postpartum experience: postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, breastfeeding struggles, sleep deprivation, identity loss, and the emotional gap that opened between us after becoming parents.

Parisa talks about how difficult it was to let go of the woman she had been before motherhood, why she went back to work when her first baby was only two weeks old, and how the pressure to breastfeed and do everything “right” left her completely depleted.

Pej shares the other side: feeling useless when he couldn’t fix what she was going through, the enormous pressure he suddenly felt to protect and provide for a family, and the intense postpartum anxiety and vivid fears he experienced after becoming a father.

We also talk about one of the biggest disconnects we experienced during that season: when she became increasingly emotional, he became increasingly logical, and instead of meeting in the middle, we missed each other completely.

Looking back, we can see how much differently we would approach that season now, with more realistic expectations, more support, more communication, and far more compassion for what the other person was silently carrying.

This isn’t a parenting tips episode. It’s an honest conversation about marriage after baby, postpartum from both sides, and what happens when two people are struggling at the same time in completely different ways.

If you’re in it now, preparing for it, or still making sense of what postpartum did to your relationship, this one is for you.

Chapters

00:00:00 Nobody Prepares You for Postpartum
00:03:02 Why the First Baby Was So Much Harder
00:06:07 Losing Your Identity After Becoming a Mom
00:09:09 Breastfeeding, Guilt and the Pressure to Do It Right
00:13:44 What Postpartum Felt Like for Dad
00:18:20 She Was Drowning. He Felt Useless.
00:24:23 When She Goes Emotional and He Goes Logical
00:30:30 What We Would Do Differently

People have been asking us about our 22-year age gap for years. In this episode, we finally answer the question, but not in the way most people expect.

Because the real answer isn’t just about us. Our age gap opened up a much bigger conversation about what has happened to men, what strong women are actually looking for when they say they want to feel safe and held, and whether we’ve swung so far in trying to protect women from dangerous men that we’ve started producing harmless ones instead.

We talk about why Parisa married a man 22 years older, why so many independent women still want a man who can carry weight, and whether comfort, changing gender roles, and modern culture have made men less comfortable with pressure, responsibility, aggression, leadership, and traditional masculinity.

We also get into what it means to feel contained by a man financially, emotionally, and physically, the difference between power being misused and power being guided, the old Persian view of women and masculine responsibility, and how the way we raise boys may be leaving them less able to tolerate friction, discomfort, and responsibility.

This is not a conversation about putting women back in a box.

It’s a conversation about what happens when we raise boys to be harmless instead of safe, and why the strongest women may be the ones who feel the absence of strong men most.

If you’ve ever wondered what changed about modern masculinity, why strong women can struggle to find the kind of man they want, or what we should actually be teaching our sons, this episode is for you.

Chapters
00:00:00 Our 22-Year Age Gap and the Bigger Question
00:01:21 Why I Married a Man 22 Years Older
00:02:40 What Women Are Looking for in Men Today
00:05:00 What Happened to Our Men?
00:06:18 Comfort, Hard Times and Strong Men
00:08:35 Women Got Stronger. What Changed for Men?
00:12:57 The Persian View of Strong Women and Men
00:14:43 Safe Men vs. Harmless Men
00:16:51 What It Means to Feel “Contained” by a Man
00:20:18 Are We Teaching Boys to Suppress Masculinity?
00:22:44 How We’re Raising Boys Today
00:26:02 What Our Age Gap Actually Taught Us
00:31:41 Raise Safe Boys, Not Harmless Boys

The Uncommons Podcast is where we have the conversations people usually have behind closed doors about marriage, family, money, identity, faith, and what it takes to build a meaningful life.

If these conversations resonate with you, follow the show and join us each week as we continue exploring who we’re becoming.

You hit the goal. The goalpost moved. You hit that one too. And somehow you still feel behind.

In this episode, we explore what may actually be underneath the “I’m not there yet” feeling that so many high achievers carry no matter how much they accomplish.

Pej shares honestly that behind his desire to once reach a $100 million net worth was a little boy who still didn’t feel good enough. Parisa unpacks the hidden belief that has quietly held her back: that becoming too successful could mean failing as a mother.

We talk about the moving goalpost, how parents can unknowingly transfer their own need for worth onto their children, generational scarcity and perfectionism, the Sufi concept of Silsila and the wisdom we inherit alongside our wounds.

We also ask a bigger question: Do we actually need to want less, or do we need to pursue what we want from a different place?

Because “I’m enough today, and I still want more” creates a completely different experience than “I’ll finally be enough when I get there.”

This is a conversation about ambition, worth, presence, gratitude and redefining wealth while you’re still building.

The destination is not the point. The drive there is.

00:00:00 The “I’m Not There Yet” Feeling
00:01:58 The $100 Million Confession
00:05:30 The Beliefs Hiding Under Success
00:09:10 Success, Motherhood and the Fear of Losing Something
00:13:06 Generational Patterns and Passing “Not Enough” to Our Kids
00:18:00 Control, Ego and Losing the Present Moment
00:20:18 Silsila: We Inherit Wisdom Too
00:24:06 Gratitude, Expansion and Feeling Enough

The Uncommons is where we have the conversations people usually have behind closed doors about marriage, family, money, identity, faith, and what it takes to build a meaningful life.

You're doing everything right. You're working hard, taking care of everyone, and holding everything together. So why are you still exhausted?

What if burnout isn't only about how much you're doing, but the way you've learned to carry it all?

In this episode of The Uncommons, we explore burnout, chronic stress, and why the habits that once helped us succeed can eventually become the very things that exhaust us.

Pej introduces his warrior vs. wizard framework, exploring the difference between living in constant high-alert mode and finding the calm that allows for greater clarity and creativity.

Parisa shares a realization about her own life: everything around her had expanded, but she was still operating from the mindset she'd developed when her life was much smaller. An unexpected experience with water leaks in their home becomes a metaphor for what happens when our capacity hasn't grown to match what we're trying to hold.

We also explore the connection between burnout, perfectionism, and worthiness; why slowing down can feel threatening; and how learning to surrender control can change our relationship with responsibility.

This isn't about doing less just for the sake of doing less. It's about recognizing when the way you've always operated no longer serves the life you're trying to build.

Maybe the answer isn't to work harder. Maybe it's to learn a different way of carrying what matters.

Chapters
00:00:00 Why You Feel Burned Out Even Though You're Doing Everything Right
00:03:30 Why High Achievers Struggle With Burnout
00:07:35 Living in Survival Mode
00:11:20 Warrior vs. Wizard: Two Ways of Operating
00:16:58 The Water Leak Story and My Outdated Operating System
00:22:22 Burnout, Perfectionism, and the Need to Prove Yourself
00:28:02 Finding Calm Through Faith, Trust, and Surrender

We are recording this while it still hurts.

Something happened recently with someone we trusted. And instead of waiting until we'd figured it all out, we decided to have this conversation now, while we're still in the middle of it.

Why do good people keep getting taken advantage of? And does getting hurt repeatedly make us wiser, or simply more closed off?

In this episode, we share the painful experience we're currently navigating, the moment Parisa realized she'd ignored her intuition about someone, and Pej's story of a business partner he trusted who later tried to take his company away.

We explore why generosity sometimes leads to entitlement, how appreciation can turn into expectation, and why giving without healthy boundaries can leave us vulnerable.

We also talk about the difference between wisdom and emotional walls, the human needs that sometimes drive people to take advantage of others, and a question we try to ask even in the hardest moments: If there were a gift in this experience, what would it be?

This isn't a conversation about becoming suspicious of everyone or learning to trust less. It's about finding the wisdom to recognize what people are showing us without losing our willingness to see the good in them.

We haven't closed our hearts. And we're learning how to keep them open without ignoring what people show us.

Podcast Chapters

00:00:00 When Trust Gets Broken

00:04:35 Talking About It While It Hurts

00:06:55 Pej's Business Partner Story

00:09:55 Ignoring Our Intuition

00:14:45 Wisdom or Emotional Walls?

00:20:40 Recognizing Warning Signs

00:25:35 When Generosity Creates Entitlement

Three doctors told Pej he needed spinal fusion surgery. His own brother, a spinal surgeon, was one of them. Pej said no.

Instead, he sought another opinion and ultimately chose regenerative medicine and stem cell therapy. Five years later, he shares what happened and what the experience taught him after 33 years working inside the medical system.

We talk about spinal fusion and back surgery, regenerative medicine, stem cell therapy, second opinions, patient advocacy, and how to distinguish a legitimate regenerative medicine practice from one Pej believes patients should avoid. Pej also shares his perspective on why insurance often doesn't cover regenerative medicine and how he combines Western medicine, Ayurveda, cannabis, and regenerative medicine rather than treating them as competing philosophies.

This episode isn't anti-surgery, and it isn't an argument that stem cell therapy is right for everyone. It's a conversation about becoming an informed participant in your own healthcare: asking questions, understanding your options, seeking another opinion when appropriate, and recognizing that no single medical lens has every answer.

Because sometimes the most important question you can ask isn't “What should I do?” It's “What are all of my options?”

What happens when the strength that helped you succeed makes it difficult to let go in your relationship?

Many women have learned to be capable, independent, and in control, qualities that can help us thrive in life but can also shape the dynamics we create with our partners.

In this episode, Parisa and Pej explore masculine and feminine energy, polarity, the tradwife debate, and the tension many modern women experience between wanting to surrender and being afraid of losing themselves in the process.

Parisa also shares an uncomfortable realization from her first marriage: the ways she contributed to weakening her partner without realizing it, and how taking accountability for that changed the way she understood relationships.

This isn't an argument for traditional roles or against them. It's a conversation about whether strength and surrender can coexist, whether a man can be powerful without controlling a woman, and whether a woman can let go without giving up who she is.

Because masculine and feminine aren't necessarily opposites. They exist on a continuum. Perhaps the goal isn't choosing one over the other, but learning when each of us needs to lead, soften, hold, or let go.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction

01:14 Tradwife vs. Modern Woman

08:35 Masculine and Feminine Energy

14:00 Strength and Relationship Dynamics

21:20 Healthy vs. Wounded Masculinity

27:45 Polarity, Attraction and Surrender

I came to the US with $150 in my pocket, no place to stay, and no one waiting for me. I was 21, and I had just traveled through a war zone in Afghanistan to get here.

In this solo episode, I share the full story of how I arrived in America, including the moment a complete stranger handed me $2,000 in a foreign country with no guarantee he would ever see me again, and how that single act of trust changed the way I saw life.

But this episode isn’t only about that journey.

It’s about what happened after I made it here. How immigration, financial struggle, divorce, postpartum depression, motherhood, and years of survival mode slowly changed the girl who once moved through life with extraordinary faith.

And how a pre-cancer diagnosis became a wake-up call that made me realize how tightly I had started holding on to life.

For years, people have asked what advice I would give my younger self. But I’ve started asking a different question: what would my 21-year-old self tell me now?

If you’ve ever had a version of yourself you deeply admired and somehow lost touch with along the way, this one is for you.

The Uncommons is where we have the conversations people usually have behind closed doors about marriage, family, money, identity, faith, and what it takes to build a meaningful life.

What if your financial ceiling has nothing to do with how hard you work? In this episode, we talk about the beliefs underneath our relationship with money: fear of losing it, fear of not having enough, the messages we inherited from our families, the way we view wealthy people, and the deeper question of whether we actually feel worthy of having more. Pej shares the financial ups and downs of entrepreneurship, including a period when his businesses were losing hundreds of thousands of dollars a month, and how those experiences forced him to examine the fear and scarcity he had carried long before those losses ever happened. We also explore our own conflicting beliefs around wealth: the desire to have more while being taught not to need much, wanting abundance while admiring detachment, and pursuing financial success without allowing money to become our identity. Eventually the conversation becomes less about money itself and more about what money reveals: our fears, our self worth, our inherited beliefs, and our ability to move from contraction into trust. Can you pursue wealth without becoming attached to it? Can abundance and spirituality exist together? And what changes when you stop believing your worth is tied to what you have?

🔔 The Uncommons is where we have the conversations people usually have behind closed doors about marriage, family, money, identity, faith, and what it takes to build a meaningful life.

After our first interfaith marriage episode, thousands of comments came in: some full of hate, many full of genuine questions from people privately navigating the same situation. In this episode, we sit down and answer the real ones: how we designed a wedding ceremony that honored both faiths, why neither of us converted and the specific reason that had everything to do with what we wanted to model for our children, how we navigate holidays and family traditions across two religions, and how we created our own value system before we got married, a document we literally call our Bible. We also talk about why we chose a Christian school for our son, what Pej's experience growing up Jewish in a Muslim country taught him about religious segregation, and why we believe shared values will always matter more than shared religion. If you're in an interfaith relationship and wondering if it can work, this one is for you.