The Undead Symphony

On paper it should have been good. It had a Hollywood cast of Jeremy Sisto (Clueless), Oz Perkins (Legally Blonde), David Kung Fu Carradine, Harry Dean Morgan... no...Rob Downey Jnr... no... Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Walking Dead) and the trailer was hilarious. 

A group of young handsome and beautiful friends including Ever Carradine, Jeremy Sisto, Oz Perkins, Gina Philips and Eric Paladino are heading to mutual friend, Portia De Rossi, get lost and end up staying at David Carridine's bed and breakfast. Carridine's son has died and Carridine uses an old Asian enchanted box to bring his spirit back. The spirit is evil and uses the box to turn all in his wake into zombies, leaving the friends to join forces with Jeffrey Dean Morgan's sheriff and fight off the horde. 

This unoriginal Evil Dead 2 rip off is so far from the much touted "American Shaun of the Dead" label it has on the DVD cover that it had to be marked down.

With graphic novel and musical transitions, it is a bitty mess. The trailer was awesome but they put the best bits in the trailer. The other 130 minutes was crap, other than the Night of the Living Dead siege, the dancing, and the improvised shotguns. 

We could only give this 4/10 and neither of us would recommend it or watch it again.

I'd love to hear from my dear listeners. Recommend a zombie movie or show I haven't covered, or some on and chat all things zeke. Or just like and share.

Do you like Korean cinema? We do.

Do you like K-Horror? We do.

Do you like K-Zombies? We do.

Do you like overly brutal bloody violence including numerous mass stabbings, infanticide, feeding bodies of test subjects to pigs, graphic beheadings, super soldiers with no eyes beating rooms of men and women to death with anything it can get is hands on, and killing someone by forcefully face f~cking them whilst receiving a blowjob? Not so much.

Still, that is Project Wolf Hunting. 5.5/10. 

If I can use Michael's salad analogy, it is Universal Soldier, mixed with 2009 The Revenant, with a dash of Deadpool, a heavy side of The Sadness level bloody violence, a sprinkling of Con Air and 2012 Lockout all topped with a very unvegan dressing.  

I'd love to hear from my dear listeners. Recommend a zombie movie or show I haven't covered, or some on and chat all things zeke. Or just like and share.

A bit of a mixed meal this week. You know when you are traveling through a foreign country, say somewhere in Asia, and you want to eat but can't read the menu and so you pick a couple of dishes based on the photo next to it on the laminated wipe clean menu? The two courses could be anything. You could have thought the Kaeng Tai Pla looked good but when the bowl of fish entrails soup arrived you gagged and threw up into your napkin. Where the Adobo looked like a soy soaked car crash but was, in fact, one of the greatest things your taste buds have ever experienced.

That is where I find myself as I watch Block Z from the Philippines and KL24: Zombies from Malaysia. But, which one was the rancid fish entrails, and which one the wonderful chicken?

Block Z. From the Philippines. At a university hospital a woman comes in suffering from a bite, and rabies. The bite is actually human. She comes back from the dead, bites one student doctor, then several nurses and before too long we have a university campus version of All of Us Are Dead. Well done, tense, with about half a dozen kids, a parent, a security guard and an obvious villain, this was a good watch. Well done, some excellent kills and despite this being my second watch I would recommend it and watch it again.

6/10

KL24: Zombies. Malaysian, so country number 35 for us, a flu like infection has taken over KL which turns into a zombie outbreak as we follow three intersecting stories of survivors fleeing for safety. Is listed as an action comedy on Amazon and scores 3.5/5 there.  It is neither full of action or comedy. It is more like a bad Malaysian daytime light drama where the Muslim way of life will guide you to either your salvation or your doom as Farah has a truly awkward meal with her boyfriends secular family,  before saving her brother and then the country, whilst her father's four wives end up fighting, turning zombie and killing him before Farah's brother Imri kills them all. Note: I make it sound  better than it is.

3/10

I'd love to hear from my dear listeners. Recommend a zombie movie or show I haven't covered, or some on and chat all things zeke. Or just like and share.

Welcome, dear listeners, to Episode 133 of the Undead Symphony where in this episode we dive headfirst into the cinematic masterpiece that is "Zone of the Dead." Yes, you heard that right, we're delving into the deepest, darkest stench filled depths of Serbian horror cinema. (Serbia is country 34 for us). URGH! And I know I know, A Serbian Film is a far far worse movie, I could barely bring myself to read the plot on Wikipedia. This is just a bad movie.

Picture this: a gripping tale of undead mayhem, so intricately crafted that you'll wonder if the filmmakers stumbled upon a cursed VHS tape buried in the backyard. You can picture it, because this ain't that.

Join us as we navigate the labyrinthine streets of a Serbian city overrun by zombies, where our intrepid heroes—including the wonderful Ken Foree —must contend not only with the walking dead but also with the budget constraints that rival those of a high school drama club production, awful dubbing and the kind of writing and directorial misogyny that means all the women are 1) hot 2) useless and 3) easily controlled by their male counterparts.

Marvel at the stunning special effects that will make you question whether you're witnessing cutting-edge CGI or a discarded Halloween decoration brought to life. And let's not forget the riveting dialogue, delivered with such gravitas that you'll swear the actors were plucked straight from the finest community theater. Or... so badly overdubbed I turned the sound off and just read the subtitles.

So grab your popcorn and your sense of disbelief, because "Zone of the Dead" is about to take you on a ride that's equal parts shit and shitter. Let's dive in, shall we? Because in the zone, no one can hear you scream...with laughter.

Disclaimer: No zombies were harmed in the making of this podcast introduction. 

3/10 at best. And I had a feeling it would be shit. It was the same feeling I got when picking Ving Rhames' lesser zombie movies, Day of the Dead and Zombie Apocalypse. Both were shit and forever tarnished Ving for me. This? I made me feel a bit sad that Ken was taking these shit roles in shit movies, and it was only made better by him being in it and them referencing a shopping Mall, Savini and Bottin.

I'd love to hear from my dear listeners. Recommend a zombie movie or show I haven't covered, or some on and chat all things zeke. Or just like and share.

Country number 33 for us is Mexico for the 2022 Some Be. This survival story is on Amazon for free (thank God, as I wouldn't pay for it) and the blurb is that Sarah and Esteban will try to survive amid a post apocalyptic society collapsed by the appearance of an unknown virus that overrides human will and consciousness. Ok, sounds familiar. 

Sarah and Esteban somehow survive long enough to find each other, and then somehow survive numerous scrapes with the undead hordes that just appear our of thin air. For a very annoying 86 minutes they do not scavenge, they do not pick up water, food, weapons, medical supplies, a change of clothes, or even a bag to put it in. Sarah leaves her front door open AFTER seeing a zombie outside. Esteban does not treat the huge open wounds on his leg and head. They do not barricade where they sleep. They sleep at one point right next to glass doors AFTER they didn't close the gate behind them.

As zombie survival movies are my thing- see Among the Living,  State of Emergency, Here Alone,  The Battery,  Rammbock: Siege of the Dead, Night Eats the World, Final Days, #Alive etc - this just annoyed me. They didn't scavenge in buildings or cars, they didn't have a bag. They dropped a weapons once used. In fact only 2 zombies are killed, both by Sarah, both with bits of wood. 

It could have been better as it was well acted and filmed. It did look desolate but... I can only score it 3.5/10  and it is marked down because of their poor survival skills, inconsistency, Esteban's narration and the stupid title

I'd love to hear from my dear listeners. Recommend a zombie movie or show I haven't covered, or some on and chat all things zeke. Or just like and share.

And we are back and I genuinely don’t know what to expect with this one. 2001, and starring two Stalwarts of the late Brat pack era Lou Diamond Philips and Lori Petty. I mean, normally I would rattle of 3 movies the stars had been in, and I would be listing Mega Shark v Mecha Shark and Sex School 8 Mr Long Comes Back, or something similar, BTW only one of those movies was made up. But with Lori Petty and Lou Diamond Philips do I need to do that? I mean he was in La Bamba, Young Guns,  and Stand and Deliver. True, it then dropped off and he played minor roles but he was always good. And Lori Petty, Tank Girl, she was Talk Girl, and in the original Point Break and Cadillac Man. They are both instantly recognisable. But I am losing the plot a little here.

I am losing the plot as Lou Diamond Phillips sent us two sound snippets, anecdotes about working on the movie and Fear the Walking Dead, an episode he directed that caused a bit of chafing. Listen out for Lou at the start and about 28 mins it. Very very cool.  And the amazing Lori Petty sent us a file too, telling us about having to act as stand in AD when the director went walkabout. And she loves her concrete monsters. Who doesn't? But back to the movie..

After an assignment to retrieve a mob informant Rabbit (Steven Williams) leads them into the Arizona desert, federal agents Jack (Lou Diamond Phillips) and Steph (Lori Petty) opt for a seldom-used road in order to evade hit men. The highway that they take, however, has a storied past involving a chain gang that met a horrible fate -- the men still walk the road as the undead. Can Jack and Steph ward off the restless zombies and survive their desolate journey?

Let’s see shall we?

[that’s the sound of the men working on the chain…. Ga—a-a-a-ng)

Overall, while "Route 666" may not have been well-received by mainstream critics, its cult following demonstrates that it has found an audience that appreciates it for its quirks and shortcomings.

And we like cult – so I am going to score it 5.5/10 for the whole Dale Midkiff, Lou Diamond Phillips, Lori petty thing, but mostly for Steven Williams as Rabbit. He was superb. 

I'd love to hear from my dear listeners. Recommend a zombie movie or show I haven't covered, or some on and chat all things zeke. Or just like and share.

It is our 30th country from which we have enjoyed zombie, undead and infected entertainment. Aren't we an international bunch of luvvies? And isn't the genre global? I think so.

How did this one appear? After back to back episodes of the floating turds of Amazon I needed something that I knew was good. No, not Dead and Breakfast. Michael still needs to see that one. And no not Route 666 with post Brat Pack stalwarts Lori Petty and Lou Diamond Philips. So, trusting in my overseas zombie entertainment, I looked for lists of the highest rated foreign language zombie movies. Surprise Surprise Train to Busan was at the top, but we had also seen Night Eats the World, #Alive and Juan of the Dead. The two I hadn't seen on the list were the South Korean The Wailing starring fireman dad from All of Us are Dead, and this, the 2012 Swedish Wither.

Sure, it is cliched up the wazoo. But it is done very very well  (hot 20 somethings, cabin in the woods, nerdy one, slutty one, handsome misogynist, cute couple, wizened old hunter, lack of cellphone coverage) enough to keep you smiling but throw in an unexpected final girl, well, final boy and some top notch violence and gore and you have a pretty decent movie in a genre saturated with copycats. 

I know the Sam Raimi purists will drone on about Evil Dead and I get that, the Romero cultists do the same. But I thought it was totally watchable so I will give it a solid 6/10

Check it out on Amazon for free. 

I'd love to hear from my dear listeners. Recommend a zombie movie or show I haven't covered, or some on and chat all things zeke. Or just like and share.

An aeronautical themed episode now as I try to recover from the Bottom of the Barrel and the Bottom of the Bottom of the Barrel on Amazon, as I watch two zombie movies with planes as the central location - Flight of the Living Dead (the name annoyed me): Outbreak on a Plane, and Quarantine 2: Terminal.

In Flight of the Living Dead (the name annoyed me, like Ridge War Z did) we have a group of scientists including Pet Sematary's  Dale Midkiff,  bringing his infected wife on a Paris bound plane in a pressurised coffin, and guarded by horror stalwart Brian Thompson. Throw  in Frank o'Connor and Erick Avari from The Mummy, Kristen Kerr, Richard Tyson and David Chisum and the zombies soon take over the plane, nesting in the cargo hold in this daytime TV feeling effort.

5/10 at best

And even though I would rather watch the REC series, I followed it with the second American Quarantine movie, Quarantine 2: Terminal, starring Fear the Walking Dead's Mercedes Mason and Lost in Space's Ignacio Serricchio.

As the first movie plays out on the TV news, a member of the doomsday cult takes infected lab rats on a plane and soon after a nip here and there, we have nasty infected zombies running about screaming until they lane and are quarantined in the baggage handling building at a small airport.

I enjoyed it. I gave it 6.10, but that may be a little elevated because it followed 7 turd movies that made up the prior two episodes.

I think I need to kill some time watching all four REC movies in order and both the Quarantine movies. Just not yet.

I'd love to hear from my dear listeners. Recommend a zombie movie or show I haven't covered, or some on and chat all things zeke. Or just like and share.

Finishing off the second part of the shit feast on Amazon with The Bottom of the Bottom of the Barrel. 

Reel Zombies - a self-referential movie within a movie within a documentary will rarely work, and it definitely won’t work if everything you’ve produced is shit. At one point the producer is wiping blood off his windshield saying “my girlfriend is dead and now I’m wiping zombie blood off my windshield with her panties. Everyone is bad here.” 
2.5/10 

Cholo Zombies - a giant metaphor for immigration and inclusion that seems to get lost in a nonsensical story of Hispanic gang bangers and a demon box poured into a micro brewery 
4/10 

Attack of the Flatulating Dead - probably the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I could take a shit on a glass topped coffee table and film it from underneath and it would be better than this. 
1/10

and finally COVID 21: Lethal Virus - a pointless shouty race over fast changing days and nights where an angry loner shouts his way through the woods with a squealing scientist. You can tell she is a scientist because she wears a bright white lab coat all the time. We have the most incompetent officer, who's every single decision costs the lives of his men and the scientists they are meant to protect. You can tell they are scientists because they wear bright white lab coats all the time.  The adverts in the movie as it was Amazon were the highlights. 
3.5/10

We watch them so  you don't have to.

I'd love to hear from my dear listeners. Recommend a zombie movie or show I haven't covered, or some on and chat all things zeke. Or just like and share.

We are scraping the bottom of the shit barrel this week with a two part crap feast of the lowest of the low, the dregs from Amazon, the what's left when you've watched the good movies, the cult movies, the recommended movies.

It's not like they didn't have redeeming qualities too. Ridge War Z had the premise of an author documenting the experiences of 3 soldiers who survived the bloodiest battle of the zombie wars. The reality? 4 guys walk up a hill to a ridge in civvies as the monotone author poorly narrates, and 3 of those guys and 3 more in uniform walk slowly up the same hill before shooting off screen. Much like FEAR last time out we didn't get any zombies for over an hour, then it was 5 mins of frenzy, then it's over. 2/10 for Ridge War Z and I was going to plan to take a further point off them for stealing the name of a far far superior movie (World War Z).

Eyes of the Dead was marketed as an immersive POV experience. It was, but again it was done really badly. The POV was not natural behaviour. Rather than looking around, you know, to see what's coming, the asshole through who's eyes we see the outbreak, spends his time looking at his hands, the floor, a radio, anything other than around. It annoyed me, as did their pathetic lack of action. The zombies are bursting in, one guy is holding the door, and POV asshole is just watching rather than helping. 5/10, could have been better.

And finally Breakdown Lane, Kirby breaks down on a desert road. Her only communication is with the guy at the end of her breakdown company's lifeline. Clever, and it felt often like It Stains the Sands Red, but with cars. Very good. However, it was a Jekyll and Hyde piece where the tattoo parlour waiting room rock music starts and we get Max Max level assholes with guns, a weirdo with zombies as pets, and lots of other shit, as well as these constant comic book transitions that just looked bad. If they had persisted with the well acted, well filmed desert movie of Kirby and Max and the car it would have been solid, but all the rest, all that shit, brought it down to a 3.5/10
 

I'd love to hear from my dear listeners. Recommend a zombie movie or show I haven't covered, or some on and chat all things zeke. Or just like and share.