Hey Scummers!

This week on the Underhive Lorekeepers Podcast, Spamuel forces Nathan to endure more than ninety minutes of something he never asked for, never wanted and will likely spend the rest of the year complaining about.

The Vespid.

That's right, we're talking about the Tau Empire's favourite winged allies, the Stingwings themselves. Hailing from the crystal-covered world of Vespid, these insectoid xenos have buzzed their way across battlefields for centuries, carrying neutron blasters, mysterious communication helms, and enough unanswered questions to make an Inquisitor nervous.

Join us as we dive into the origins of the Vespid, their hive-based society, their first contact with the Tau Empire, and the ongoing debate surrounding those suspicious Communion Helms.

Are the Vespid loyal allies fighting for the Greater Good, or are they simply the galaxy's most heavily armed bee colony?

Nathan certainly has some opinions, most of those opinions can be summarised as "burn them".

Several bee puns are made. None of them improve Nathan's mood.

The discussion only stings further when we explore how the Tau managed to recruit the Vespid into the Empire. Nathan remains unconvinced that giant alien insects wearing strange helmets isn't suspicious.

Will Spamuel convince him that the Vespid are actually cool?

Hive got some bad news for you.

The answer is no.

So grab your flamer, don your beekeeper suit, and bee prepared for an episode packed with obscure xenos lore, Tau shenanigans, questionable diplomacy, and one man's relentless descent into xenophobic grumbling.

Because if there's one thing this episode proves, it's that Nathan's hatred of xenos wasn't nearly strong enough before he learned about giant space bees.

Buzz on over and join us, Scummers.

If you have questions, complaints, corrections or suggestions, email us at [email protected].

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Hey Scummers!

This week Spamuel and Nathan are diving into the Dramatis Personae of House Goliath, exploring some of the most infamous names ever to emerge from the gene-forges and fighting pits of the Underhive.

First up is Ajex Gorgoth, the living embodiment of everything House Goliath aspires to be. Towering, terrifying, and built like a cargo hauler wrapped in slabs of muscle. Ajex carved his way through rivals and monsters alike to become one of the most feared champions in Necromunda. If your solution to every problem is overwhelming violence applied at maximum force, Ajex is your role model.

Next, we turn our attention to Djangar Gunfist. A man whose name tells you almost everything you need to know. Somewhere along the line Djangar looked at his hand and decided it would be significantly more useful if it were always holdinga firearm. Whether this represents tactical genius or severe emotional issues remains a matter of debate. Naturally, this leads to an extended discussion about the practical applications of gun-fisting and his abilities to lead House Goliath as Over Tyrant.

Then we descend into the depths of the sump to meet Old Three-Eyes, a colossal sumpkroc whose appetite for gangers has elevated her from dangerous predator to full-blown Underhive legend. Bigger than a cargo hauler and considerably less friendly, Old Three-Eyes lurks beneath the polluted waters waiting for anyone foolish enough to get too close.

As expected, the conversation immediately derails. What begins as a discussion about gene-smithing somehow turns into Spamuel theorising about cloning monsters. Not sensible monsters. Not useful monsters. Horrifying vat-grown abominations with too many muscles, too many teeth, and somehow... too many butts.

This naturally raises the question of how such creatures would reproduce, sending Spamuel on an extended tangent about crocodile reproduction while Nathan desperately attempts to drag the conversation back toward Necromunda. The effort is unsuccessful.

Finally, we take a look at Tess "Arc-Up", one of House Goliath's most notorious champions. Armed with enough electrical firepower to illuminate a small settlement, Tess demonstrates why mixing enormous muscles with industrial-grade voltage is generally considered a bad idea for everyone nearby.

Along the way we ask the truly important questions. Would a Goliath battle plan improve if it simply began with someone shouting "LEEROY JENKINS!"? Can gun-fisting be considered a legitimate martial art? And how does a man with no nose smell?

Terrible.

So grab your stimms, stay out of suspicious bodies of water, avoid any cloned crocodiles with an alarming number of backsides, and remember, if Old Three-Eyes is chasing you, you don't need to be the fastest runner.

You just need Nathan to be slower.

Enjoy the episode, Scummers!

If you have questions, complaints, corrections or suggestions, email us at [email protected].

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Hey Scummers!

In this episode, the lads dive head-first into the grim, explosive and questionably ethical world of Imperial Penal Legions. Because apparently the Imperium looked at prisons and thought: “What if we added minefields and Frenzon?”

From bomb collars and human wave assaults to drugged-up berserkers and “redemption through death,” Spamuel and Nathan break down how the Imperium turns criminals, political dissidents, unlucky guardsmen and people who filled out the wrong paperwork into disposable battlefield assets.

Journey with us into discussion on Italian Arbites that somehow make Imperial law even more threatening, to the utterly horrific practice of strapping explosives to prisoners and calling it ‘military doctrine,’ the Penal Legions are one of the Imperium’s favourite tools. Whether they’re being hurled into enemy gunfire as a wall of screaming human meat, or sent on missions so dangerous even Space Marines go ‘nah,’ these poor bastards exist somewhere between surgical strike force and disposable corpse delivery system.

So make sure you behave, brush up on your prayers and if you’re lucky, you’ll end up in the PDF and not on holiday on a prison planet.

You’re in The Guard.

If you have questions, complaints, corrections or suggestions, email us at [email protected].

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Hey scummers!

In this episode, the lads take a trip way, way above the sump and into the polished nightmare of the Spire, where the rich don’t just look down on you, they come down to hunt you for sport.

We’re talking Spyre Hunting Parties. Aristocratic heirs wrapped in ancient, near-mythical suits that turn bored nobles into walking war crimes. From the lightning fast Yelds to the walking tanks that are the Orrus rigs, we break down what makes these silver-spoon psychos tick, why they head into the Underhive in the first place, and what happens when privilege meets a shotgun at close range.

Naturally, things get a bit unhinged.

Spamuel develops a deeply misguided obsession with the Eldar this episode, confidently declaring that Spyrers are basically just the human version of Aspect Warriors. He then doubles down by trying to match each Spyre rig to an Aspect Shrine equivalent, much to Nathan’s visible frustration and increasingly aggressive sighing.

Meanwhile, Nathan tries (and fails) to steer the episode back on track.

And yes, we address the most important questions in in Necromunda lore:

Do Malcadon Spyrers spend their downtime doing impressions of Tobey Maguire?

Will the Flappy Lads ever get their milk in a regular way?

Are Patriarchs just old fellas who think these youngins are just too damn lazy?

You’ll have to listen to find out, but let’s just say, there may or may not be a whispered “I missed the part where that’s my problem” echoing through the underhive vents before someone gets webbed to a wall.

Expect lore, laughs, and a healthy fear of anything descending from above in a glowing murder-suit.

Stay safe downhive, scummers.

But if you hear something moving in the dark?

It’s already too late.

If you have questions, complaints, corrections or suggestions, email us at [email protected].

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Hey scummers!

Pull up a stool, mind the sump spill under your boots, and keep one eye on your drink, because the lads are diving back into the weird and wild corners of the 41st millennium and more minor xenos.

Much to Nathan’s visible, audible, and spiritual dismay.

We’re talking about the slippery, shadow-haunting menace of the Laxotl.

These amphibious horrors that would thrive in the damp, forgotten arteries of the underhive. These things aren’t just content to lurk in the dark; they own it. With slick, scaled bodies built for squeezing through pipes and flooded tunnels, the Laxotl move like living oil spills, striking from places no sane ganger would ever think to check. These xenos mercenaries aren’t just beasts either, there’s a cruel, alien cunning behind those cold eyes, coordinating ambushes and dragging unlucky souls into the depths without a sound. If you hear something slithering in the walls? Too late. It’s already mapped your escape routes.

And then there’s the ever-delightful Ur-Ghul.

Everyone’s favourite eyeless nightmare, and a staple of bad decisions across Commorragh and beyond. These pale, sinewy predators don’t need sight when they’ve got senses sharp enough to track a heartbeat through ferrocrete. Lightning fast and disturbingly quiet, an Ur-Ghul is all claws and teeth, reducing its prey to scraps before the brain even catches up to what’s happening. Often kept as “pets” by those with more cruelty than sense, they’re about as loyal as a hive scummer with a full ammo cache. The moment control slips, they go right back to what they do best: hunting anything warm, moving, and unfortunate enough to be nearby.

Expect the usual: half-remembered lore, an insurance selling gecko with more one liners than sense, and at least one moment where someone (it’s Nathan) asks if we can please, please just talk about literally anything else.

We won’t.

So lock your hab doors, check your corners, and join us as we once again prove that in the underhive and the galaxy beyond, there’s always something worse lurking just out of sight.

Catch you in the sump, scummers.

If you have questions, complaints, corrections or suggestions, email us at [email protected].

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Oi, travellers and treasure-hungry miscreants!

Stagger back through the splintered doors of The Lucky Comet, where the ale is watered, the patrons are suspicious, and the roof only leaks when it rains.

Which is always.

Mordheim welcomes you like a mugger in a dark alley. Warmly, and with a knife.

This time around, the lads continue our grand tour of the most cursed city in the Old World before plunging headfirst into the so-called “finest” human mercenary warbands of the original release. And by finest, we mean a stunning parade of personalities ranging from aggressively beige sellswords to fur-cloaked lunatics fighting like bears like it’s perfectly reasonable behaviour.

We’ve got rich brats playing at war, Middenheimers who think shirts are optional but wolf pelts are mandatory, and the Reiklanders are staring at us again.

From muddy boots to silk slippers, from battered helms to VERY sensible trousers (we cannot stress this enough), this episode is your unofficial guide to looking your best while being horribly, irrevocably murdered in the ruins.

So grab a drink, check your coin purse hasn’t gone missing, and settle in.We hope you enjoy part 2 of our journey into the city of Mordheim.

Assuming something in the shadows doesn’t get you first.

If you have questions, complaints, corrections or suggestions, email us at [email protected].

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Old World Lorekeepers music theme is Folk Around by Kevin Macleod.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/kevin-macleod/folk-roundLicense code: IZVBYKAZBENG35ZT

Hello Scummers!

Welcome back to our ongoing dive into the Merchant Guilds of Necromunda, where the money flows, the bodies pile up and somehow it all balances out in the end. Probably.

In Episode 3 of our series, we’re getting uncomfortably familiar with two of the hive’s most essential institutions.

The Corpse Guild and the Guild of Coin.

First up, the Corpse Guild.

Necromunda’s least appreciated, most unavoidable public service. We chat about how the dead don’t stay useless for long in the underhive, the grim machinery that keeps the corpse starch flowing, and why you really don’t want to fall behind on your final contributions. It’s not pretty, but it is efficient, in that horrifying, dystopian kind of way.

Then we swing hard into the Guild of Coin, where credits rule everything and owing someone a favour is just a polite way of saying you’ve ruined your life.

We dig into how wealth moves through the hive, who actually controls it, and why the wrong debt can see you vanish faster than a sump rat in a chem spill.

And of course, we’ve got a story, because what’s Necromunda without a bit of personal tragedy? This week it’s Barry, a poor drudge whose luck is so impressively terrible that he somehow ends up on both guilds’ radars at once. Let’s just say if there’s a worst-case scenario, Barry’s already lived it.

It’s grim, it’s ridiculous, and it’s exactly why we love this setting.

Enjoy, Scummers!

Want to support the show? ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers⁠

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

AHOY SCUMMERS!

After what can only be described as a brief, administratively necessary (definitely not heretical) absence, The Underhive Lorekeepers Podcast staggers back into the vox-net like an Inquisitor returning from a very quiet, very classified investigation.

Yes, we’re back.

And to celebrate our triumphant return to the airwaves (and to prove we haven’t been replaced by suspiciously similar servo-skulls), we’re hosting our Listener Lore Competition: Minor Ordos Edition.

Because nothing says “welcome back” quite like weaponised bureaucracy.

Everyone knows the big three of the Inquisition, but we’re not here for the celebrity Ordos. We want the obscure ones. The underfunded ones. The ones operating out of a damp archive sub-level with a staff of three, a skull with anxiety, and a mandate so hyper-specific it borders on parody.

This episode is all about your creations — the Minor Ordos that REDACTED. The Ordo that investigates bugs in a sitcom. The Ordo dedicated to beverages. The Ordo that insists that, technically, you do not exist. The Ordo loving Roots, bloody roots. The Ordo breaking our souls and robots.

And because the Inquisition is nothing if not deeply uncomfortable around itself, we’ll be imagining what happens when all these Minor Ordos are forced to attend the strangest company mixer in the galaxy. Picture it: name tags in High Gothic, awkward small talk about sanctioned purges, someone from a rival Ordo quietly taking notes in the corner, and at least one Puritan loudly insisting this entire gathering is Gregory.

There will be dramatic readings. There will be questionable accents. There will be entirely too much enthusiasm about Wingdings.

Most importantly, there will be your lore. It is canon-adjacent, wildly unnecessary, and absolutely essential.

We may have been gone for a while… but like any good Inquisitorial investigation, we were merely gathering evidence.

The Emperor Protects. HR absolutely does not.

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Hey scummers.

Nathan has absconded to New Zealand on a so-called family holiday, but in doing so has cemented his claim as the one true King of the Scummers. Against all odds (and unlike Spamuel) he’s taken his recording gear on the road. Bravery. Courage. Heroism. We salute him.

After the shortest intro in Lorekeepers history (you’re welcome), we finally bring our rambling tour of the Minor Ordos of the Holy Inquisition to a close.

From the shadowy ordos tasked with investigating miracles, to the Grand Dog of Necromunda, and an Ordo whose entire remit appears to be deciding whether sensitive information gets a Sharpie or a flamer, right through to Malcador the Sigillite’s deeply suspect personal Christmas album collection.

The tail end of this series is an absolute ride.

And because it’s a new year, and this is our first finished series of the year, you already know what that means.

We are doing a giveaway.

Make sure you listen to the whole episode (or just skip to the end) and find out how you can win.

I’m not your mum.

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Happy New Years, scummers!

It’s been a hot minute since the boys last sat down with you, so naturally this one kicks off with a completely reasonable 20-minute opening.

Expect hopes and dreams for the year ahead, aggressive lamenting over the complete lack of sleep this festive period, and Spamuel proudly announcing that he’s being selfish this year.

The Year of Chaos is well and truly upon us.

Then, after playing far too much of the Owlcat Games Mega smash hit cult classic game, Rogue Trader, the boys finally drag themselves back to the lore and dive headfirst into the Rogue Traders themselves.

We break down who these wildly over-privileged lunatics are, how a single, ancient Warrant of Trade lets them operate above almost all Imperial law, and why the Imperium is perfectly happy to tolerate their excesses so long as the tithes keep flowing.

From skirting the edges of heresy, to dealing with xenos, founding colonies, claiming forgotten worlds and occasionally kicking off wars by accident, Rogue Traders exist in that beautiful grey zone where ambition, faith, and profit collide. They are explorers, conquerors, diplomats, pirates, and sometimes outright criminals.

All in the Emperor’s name, of course.

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/