Hello everyone! We're going into #TheUpdate vault to play one of our many episodes throughout our many years of the show. For today's episode, we go into the world of Year 5 of The Update. When we first started this then-show at WKRB in 2017, the first year had a lot of things going on. Donald Trump's first year in office, mass shootings worldwide, and the Great American Solar Eclipse to name just a few. In Year 5, it was more of the same. There was the Russian war in Ukraine, more mass shootings in America, and the overturning of Roe V. Wade to name just a few that we'll mention. But also, after more than two years out on the road, we made our way to a new studio at UD Team in the summer of 2022. Oh, and one last thing- be on the lookout for some WKRB highlights as we looked back on five years of memories.

In today’s edition of The Update Journal… we check in on the Mets, who have now lost 12 straight games—which at this point isn’t a losing streak, it’s a lifestyle choice. I’m not saying it’s bad, but somewhere, the 1962 Mets are watching this like, “Okay now you’re just showing off.” Even the producers asked if we should switch to a wellness segment because clearly… something is broken spiritually.

Then we turn to the NYC 2026–27 school calendar, where some brave soul—who I assume has never met a parent, child, or teacher in their life—decided the last day of school should be on a Monday. A MONDAY. Because nothing says “summer freedom” like waking up early one final time just to awkwardly sit through half a day of movies, loose papers, and a teacher rolling in the TV like it’s 2003. Parents are mad, kids are confused, and honestly… I just want to talk. Who approved this? Show yourself.

And finally, in Brandon’s Take: Earth Day 2026—we’re all encouraged to save the planet… right after this commercial break brought to you by 47 companies using the color green for the next 24 hours. Nothing screams environmental awareness like a corporation tweeting “We care 🌎” while simultaneously melting three glaciers behind the scenes. But hey, we recycled a bottle today, so we’re basically heroes.

So whether you're watching the Mets find new and creative ways to lose, questioning the psychological warfare of a Monday school finale, or celebrating Earth Day with a reusable bag you forgot in your car… just remember: We’re doing great. Everything’s fine. Totally under control.

In the headlines on #TheUpdae this Wednesday, two people were killed and nearly a dozen others injured when a massive inferno ripped through and destroyed a century-old building in the Bronx, authorities say.

A Bangladeshi immigrant is rightly serving a life prison sentence for a fizzled 2017 subway bombing attack beneath Times Square, a federal appeals panel said while reversing his conviction for providing material support to the Islamic State extremist group.

And in Washington, The Southern Poverty Law Center was indicted Tuesday on federal fraud charges alleging it improperly raised millions of dollars to secretly pay leaders of the Ku Klux Klan and other hate groups for inside information, acting Attorney General Todd Blanche says.

In today’s edition of The Update Journal… Apparently continuity is now just a suggestion, emotional trauma comes with a carrying case, and somewhere out there, someone looked at seafood and said, “You know what this needs? Dairy.”

We start in Radiator Springs, where the new Cars series is teaching kids valuable life lessons like… ignoring established timelines and hoping nobody notices. Because nothing says “early childhood education” like rewriting canon and praying the adults are too tired to fact-check it.

Then we check in with Baggage—the show that asked the important question: “What if dating… but with full disclosure and mild public humiliation?” Remember, it’s not just about accepting someone else’s issues—it’s about revealing your own at the end like a plot twist nobody asked for. Romance! But with terms and conditions.

And finally, our honorable mention: crawfish ice cream. Yes. Real. Popular, even. Which means somewhere, right now, someone is licking a cone thinking, “This tastes like the bayou… and poor decision-making.” At this point, I’d like to check with my producers to confirm whether we’re still legally required to call this “dessert.”

All that and more… in a world where the timeline is broken, the baggage is emotional, and the ice cream might fight back.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Tuesday, opening statements are set for in Harvey Weinstein ’s New York rape retrial, offering a new jury its first look at a bellwether #MeToo case that remains unresolved nearly eight years after the former movie tycoon’s arrest.

Late mob boss John Gotti’s reality-TV-star grandson was sentenced Monday to 15 months in prison for pocketing $1.1 million in loans from a federal program meant to help small businesses during the COVID-19 pandemic.

And across the country, an abrupt swing from hot weather to cold across the Northeast is frustrating some flower and fruit farmers who have had to either harvest blooms extra early or fear they could lose some crops altogether.

In today’s edition of The Update Journal… we begin with a level of anger that even the producers are a little nervous about. The Mets have lost 11 straight games, and I’d like to personally apologize to my blood pressure, my television, and Gary, Keith, and Ron for what they’re about to endure. This isn’t just a losing streak—it’s an emotional hostage situation.

Meanwhile, in a rare moment of peace and stability in New York media, Mr. G has returned to our screens… and suddenly, balance has been restored to the universe. The sun shines a little brighter, the forecasts feel trustworthy again, and for a brief moment, we all remember what happiness looks like at 10pm.

And because it’s 4/20, we wrap things up with a “legal-ish” celebration—because nothing says responsible broadcasting like carefully choosing your words while the producers hover over the dump button. It’s festive, it’s questionable, and it’s probably the most relaxed we’ll be all episode… which, given the Mets, is not saying much.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Monday, one person was killed and three others including a young teen wounded in a wild New Jersey shootout that left victims sprawled in the street near a 13-year-old girl’s weekend birthday party.

Multiple people were injured when a bus full of students and chaperones from multiple Bronx high schools crashed near Lake George, according to authorities and reports.

And in Louisiana, a father fatally shot eight children, including seven of his own, in an attack on his family that stretched across two houses in a Shreveport neighborhood left shaken by one of the nation’s deadliest mass shootings in recent years, police said.

Hello everyone! We're going into #TheUpdate vault to play one of our many episodes throughout our many years of the show. For today's episode, we go into the world of Year 5 of The Update. When we first started this then-show at WKRB in 2017, the first year had a lot of things going on. Donald Trump's first year in office, mass shootings worldwide, and the Great American Solar Eclipse to name just a few. In Year 5, it was more of the same. There was the Russian war in Ukraine, more mass shootings in America, and the overturning of Roe V. Wade to name just a few that we'll mention. But also, after more than two years out on the road, we made our way to a new studio at UD Team in the summer of 2022. Oh, and one last thing- be on the lookout for some WKRB highlights as we looked back on five years of memories.

Hello everyone! We're going into #TheUpdate vault to play one of our many episodes throughout our many years of the show. For today's episode, we go into the world of Year 5 of The Update. When we first started this then-show at WKRB in 2017, the first year had a lot of things going on. Donald Trump's first year in office, mass shootings worldwide, and the Great American Solar Eclipse to name just a few. In Year 5, it was more of the same. There was the Russian war in Ukraine, more mass shootings in America, and the overturning of Roe V. Wade to name just a few that we'll mention. But also, after more than two years out on the road, we made our way to a new studio at UD Team in the summer of 2022. Oh, and one last thing- be on the lookout for some WKRB highlights as we looked back on five years of memories.

In today’s edition of The Update Journal, we'll begin with the crossover that Nickelodeon looked at, thought about for five seconds, and then collectively said, “Yeah… we’re not dealing with that headache.” Somewhere in an alternate universe, SpongeBob is hanging out with Timmy Turner, Cosmo is causing property damage, and Mr. Krabs is trying to charge everyone rent—but here in reality, we got ROBBED. Absolutely robbed. And you just know there was one executive in the room like, “This could make us millions,” and another one went, “Or… we do nothing.” And guess which one won.

Then, the NBA Playoffs are starting this weekend with the 1st Round. Unforunately, your local broadcasters won't be a part of it as the playoffs are on national TV only for the first time ever. Mike Breen said that it's a bad idea- and you know its bad when the guy who does both local (MSG Network) national broadcasts (ESPN, ABC) says what everyone else is thinking.

Then later, it's The Last Word: April — the month where the weather lies to you, your schedule lies to you, and your emotions definitely lie to you. One day it’s 75 and sunny, you’re outside like “this is it, we made it,” and the next day it’s 42 with sideways wind and you’re questioning every decision you’ve ever made. April is basically Mother Nature gaslighting an entire region.

So yes… in April, the crossovers don’t happen, the calls don’t land, and the hope? Oh, the hope shows up… just long enough to disappoint you.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Friday, The Trump administration has agreed to resume funding a key Manhattan subway project after New York officials sued.

On Long Island, a teen was killed, and two people were wounded after gunfire erupted at a barbecue inside a popular park — with two people now in custody, according to authorities and reports.

And in Virginia, Former Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax, a rising star in the Democratic Party until sexual assault allegations ruined his political fortunes, killed his estranged wife and then himself weeks before a judge’s deadline to move out of their family home, according to police and court records.

In today’s edition of The Update Journal… New York City has officially entered its “Hey Baby… that’ll be $250” era, rolling out an anti-catcalling campaign like it’s a parking violation with feelings. And look—I’m not saying it’s a bad idea. I’m just saying… some of the oldest New Yorkers have been doing this since before the subway had air conditioning. If you’re gonna enforce this, you better come with receipts… and maybe a whistle… and definitely backup.

Meanwhile, in the desert, I have cracked the case that Big Cartoon doesn’t want you to know: the Road Runner is not the victim—he’s the CEO. That’s right. The Wile E. Coyote has been unknowingly beta-testing defective products for years while ACME sits back collecting data like it’s Silicon Valley with feathers. You think it’s a coincidence nothing ever works? Please. That bird is running a full-blown corporate sabotage operation and nobody in the desert has filed a complaint.

And in today’s honorable mention: Apple fans saw a leaked iPhone Fold “dummy model” and collectively said, “Yeah… no.” Apparently the same company that gave us the iPod, the iPhone, and the audacity to remove the headphone jack is now testing how far loyalty can stretch before it snaps in half—literally. Somewhere, a Samsung executive is sitting back like, “Oh… now you wanna fold?”

So to recap: don’t catcall, don’t trust cartoons with corporate access, and maybe—just maybe—don’t beta test Apple’s next identity crisis. Because in this city, anything can happen… and apparently, everything just did.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Thursday, the heat is on — but not for long! The Big Apple shattered an 85-year-old heat record with sunny, summer-like temperatures that soared to 90 degrees, fit for a day at the beach, meteorologists said.

Two NYPD narcotics detectives were placed on modified duty after a viral video captured the pair punching and kicking an arrested man, who turned out to not be the suspect they were looking for after all, cops said.

And in Atlanta, a man has been charged in a string of attacks that left two women dead and a man in critical condition, drawing the Trump administration’s attention after one victim was identified as a Department of Homeland Security employee who was walking her dog.

In today’s edition of The Update Journal… we'll start with a man who looked at contaminated peanuts and said, “Eh… just ship it.” Because nothing says confidence like knowingly sending salmonella into the group chat of America’s food supply. Somewhere, a lawyer just felt a disturbance in the force… and immediately started billing by the hour.

Then we check in on Mayor Mamdani, now officially 100 days into the job. And like any New Yorker after 100 days, he’s learned the basics: the trains are delayed, the complaints are not, and no matter what decision you make… someone on Twitter already hates it. Welcome to the city, Mr. Mayor. There’s no manual—just vibes, chaos, and a press conference scheduled in 10 minutes.

And finally, it’s Tax Day. That magical time of year where we all come together as a nation to say, “Wait… I owe how much?” Nothing builds character quite like watching your bank account get hit with the financial equivalent of a subway door closing on your soul.

So whether you're shipping bad decisions, running a city, or just trying to survive the IRS… remember: it’s all part of the experience. And by experience, I mean pain with paperwork.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Wednesday, springtime heat melting the Big Apple is poised to break a nearly 80-year record this week, and New Yorkers are basking in sunshine before cooler weather returns.

The 7-month-old girl killed by a stray bullet in Brooklyn was laid to rest in a tiny pink Minnie Mouse casket — as one of her accused killers was hauled to court while insisting, “I didn’t do it.”

And out in the American West, a California woman said she was raped by Rep. Eric Swalwell in 2018 and now plans to make a report to law enforcement.

In today’s edition of The Update Journal, we begin with YouTube Premium now costing $15.99 a month… which is impressive, because not that long ago, that was the price of cable. You know—those 800 channels you didn’t watch? Now we’ve evolved. We pay the same price to avoid ads… on an app that still finds ways to remind you that ads exist. Progress.

Then we move to Sparkling Ice… which has officially entered its “why are we still bottling this?” era. Because now—after years of training us to grab those colorful bottles from every corner store in this city—they’ve introduced drink mixes. That’s right. You can now take your own water, pour in a packet, and become the factory. Which raises a very uncomfortable question: did Sparkling Ice just… replace itself? Because once you give people the ability to make your product at home, you’re basically saying, “Hey—skip the middleman. Also… we are the middleman.”

Finally, today’s Honorable Mention—The Masters may be over, but the vibes? Oh, they’re lingering. Because now, everyone suddenly wants to make the signature Azalea cocktail like they’ve been golfing at Augusta their whole lives. Which is hilarious, because the same people mixing vodka, lemonade, and grenadine right now couldn’t tell you the difference between a birdie and a bogey five minutes ago.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Tuesday, a drill rap war between rival Brooklyn housing projects may have been behind the senseless stray-bullet shooting death of a 7-month-old girl, law enforcement sources say.

The Trump administration said it will resume flying a rainbow Pride flag on a federal flagpole at the Stonewall National Monument in New York City, reversing course two months after removing the banner from the first national monument commemorating LGBTQ+ history.

And in Washington, Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell of California announced he will resign from Congress following sexual assault and misconduct allegations that prompted loud bipartisan calls for him to step down.