On this edition of The Update Journal, we explore what happens when one major news story eats the entire broadcast like it skipped lunch — and the rest of the world just quietly waits its turn. Weather? Sports? Local chaos? Never heard of her.

Then we pivot to TNT’s Rich & Shameless, featuring the “Joe Francis Was A Walking Red Flag” episode — because nothing says cultural reflection quite like revisiting the era when late-night cable ads felt like a fever dream and everyone collectively decided, “Sure, this seems fine.”

And finally, the sun comes out… and common sense clocks out. The second temperatures flirt with 70 degrees, jackets disappear, decision-making declines, and the city transforms into a real-time sociology experiment. It’s not summer — it’s just a preview — but you’d never know that from the way people act.

Breaking news, shameless behavior, and the annual 70-degree personality shift. Spring is trying to arrive… and apparently so is chaos.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Monday, Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei was killed in a major attack by Israel and the United States, Iranian state media confirmed, throwing the future of the Islamic Republic into doubt and raising the risk of regional instability. Meanwhile, here locally, Law enforcement was on high alert for terror attacks at sensitive sites in and around New York City Saturday following a series of US/Israel missile strikes on Iran overnight.

In other news, the city is bizarrely using massive potted plants in Queens to prevent illegal parking in front of fire hydrants — only to thwart FDNY trucks and Bravest during emergencies, according to fuming pols and locals.

And in Texas, a gunman wearing clothes with an Iranian flag design and the words “Property of Allah” killed two people and wounded 14 early Sunday at a Texas bar, a law enforcement official told The Associated Press. The FBI is investigating the shooting, which erupted a day after the U.S. and Israel launched an attack on Iran, as a potential act of terrorism.

In this episode of The Update Journal, we begin in a place that proudly calls itself “New York’s Very Own”… while quietly shipping out actual New Yorkers like it’s a clearance sale at a Midtown Duane Reade. Nothing says hometown pride quite like looking around and going, “Wait… who are you people?”

Then we pivot to The Weakest Link, where $1 million is technically on the line… in the same way that I am technically in shape. It exists. In theory. Yet somehow, after an hour of dramatic lighting, aggressive British-adjacent sass, and contestants sweating through basic multiplication, we walk away with a grand total of $80,000. Out of a million. That’s not a jackpot — that’s a modest group project stipend. At this rate, the money isn’t being won. It’s being gently escorted back to the network vault.

And finally, The Last Word — as we begin Year 9 together. Nine years. I started this show as a 19-year-old with a microphone and delusions of grandeur. Now I’m older, slightly wiser, and still yelling about trivia show banking strategies like it’s a congressional hearing. We’ll reflect, we’ll laugh, we’ll question our life choices — and we’ll keep going.

Because if we’ve learned anything over these eight years, it’s this: the money may not bank, the New Yorkers may relocate, but this show? Oh, we’re still cashing in.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Friday, a social media content creator was arrested after the NYPD said he was one of a number of people who pelted officers with snow and ice during a massive snowball fight in Washington Square Park this week.

A woman on probation for stowing away on an international flight has been arrested again after sneaking onto a flight from Newark, New Jersey, to Milan, Italy, according to a law enforcement official familiar with the matter.

And in Washington, Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told members of Congress that she had no knowledge of Jeffrey Epstein’s or Ghislaine Maxwell’s crimes, starting off two days of depositions that will also include former President Bill Clinton.

In today’s episode of “How Did We Get Here?” we discover that extra crispy chicken outranks an entire starship, thanks to a trivia question on The Weakest Link that sent my producers into a full-blown fact-checking spiral. Apparently, Captain Jean-Luc Picard may command the Enterprise, but Colonel Harland Sanders technically outranks him. Yes. Fried chicken beat Starfleet.

Meanwhile, over at Target, the Favorite Day Meyer Lemon Rolled Wafers are back for Easter season, and I am once again asking for accountability. I’m not saying they’re addictive. I’m just saying if you see me in the snack aisle whispering “just one more,” mind your business.

And as Year 8 of the show quietly packs up its things and prepares to hand the keys to Year 9, we reflect on what we’ve learned: Never underestimate trivia writers. Never trust seasonal snacks. And never assume this show would’ve stopped when logic suggested it probably should have.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Thursday, a massive post-blizzard snowball fight in New York that ended in police officers being pelted is creating a frosty dispute between Mayor Mamdani and his own police department.

Hunter College placed a professor on leave days after she sparked massive backlash for making “abhorrent” comments about black students on a hot mic during a virtual meeting.

And in Washington, the Justice Department said that it was looking into whether it had improperly withheld documents from the Jeffrey Epstein files after several news organizations reported that some records involving uncorroborated accusations made by a woman against President Trump were not among those released to the public.

In this edition of The Update Journal, we begin with a simple Sunday night question: What exactly is “Roar,” and why does it sound like a network invented by someone who lost a bet? From there, we stumble into The Weakest Link, where trivia dreams go to die and former mayors are apparently rebranded as billionaires.

Then comes the Diamond Deck from Wildcard Kitchen—a collection of cards so diabolical it feels less like cooking and more like a culinary hostage situation. “Use an ingredient that starts with Y.” Y? Y what? Yams and yelling are the only acceptable answers. And letting one chef pick another chef’s protein while chaos reigns? That’s not a twist. That’s violence with garnish.

And finally, Brandon’s Take: why I keep doing this show after nine years, countless blizzards, studio floods, transit meltdowns, and relatives asking if I’ve considered a “real job.” Logic says I could’ve stopped. Common sense says I probably should’ve. But when you love telling stories, roasting television executives, and turning civic dysfunction into content, quitting just doesn’t feel right.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Wednesday, millions across the northeast contended with treks to school and work as they dug out from a major — and in some areas record-breaking — storm that blanketed the region with snow, canceled flights, disrupted transit and killed at least one person. The NYPD are investigating after officers were pelted with snowballs while responding to a massive snowball fight at Washington Square Park in Manhattan. And the city’s commuter chaos continued with subway-line suspensions and delays — the day after MTA chief Janno Lieber assured New Yorkers that the agency “is here for you’’ and “the system is running.’’

CUNY’s chancellor slammed the “clearly offensive and abhorrent” hot mic comments Hunter professor Allyson Friedman made about black students — but said she was still teaching.

And in Washington, President Trump declared during a marathon State of the Union that “we’re winning so much” — insisting he’d sparked an economic boom at home and imposed a new world order abroad in hopes it can counter his sliding approval ratings.

As we continue to dig out from the blizzard, we're remote for one more day. So we have some more laughs inside The Update Journal.

In our first episode after the blizzard, we know what the big story is. So instead, laugh with some episodes in The Update Journal.

In this week’s completely unhinged yet somehow heartfelt edition of The Update Journal, we begin where all responsible adults do in February: convincing ourselves that this is the year. Spring Training is back, Mets and Yankees fans are stretching like it’s emotional yoga, and I am once again refilling my Optimism Cup like it’s bottomless brunch in Port St. Lucie. Will there be a parade? Probably not. Will we talk ourselves into one anyway? Absolutely.

Then—because I have a college degree and apparently refuse to use it responsibly—we pivot into a conversation I never expected to have on a show that once covered transit budgets and mayoral press conferences: the sociology, psychology, and complete chaos theory of “trash dick vs. quality dick.” At some point during this segment, I paused mid-rant and asked myself, What happened to my life? My producers considered cutting my mic. Tommie texted me, “Are you okay?” I am not.

And finally, before we head into President’s Week and gear up for the march toward our 9th anniversary, we land the plane with The Last Word—a Valentine’s note to Tommie. Because after baseball delusion and academic disgrace, the only thing that makes sense is love. Sweet, sincere, “please don’t judge what I said earlier in this episode” love.

It’s optimism, existential crisis, and romance—all in one episode. Just another calm, normal week on The Update.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Friday, a 40-year-old panhandler was shot dead inside a Midtown 7-Eleven after he held the door open for the gunman and asked him for money, cops and sources said.

New York politicians defiantly raised a rainbow flag at the Stonewall National Monument amid a boisterous, cheering crowd, rebuking the Trump administration for removing the well-known symbol of pride from the LGBTQ+ landmark.

And in Minneapolis, the Trump administration is ending a massive immigration crackdown that swept across the Minneapolis-St. Paul area and other Minnesota communities, border czar Tom Homan said, concluding an operation that led to thousands of arrests, angry mass protests and the fatal shootings of two U.S. citizens.

Hello everyone! We're going into #TheUpdate vault to play one of our many episodes throughout our many years of the show. For today's episode, we go into the world of Year 4 of The Update. It was a weird year- starting off in the WKRB studios and then going out on the road (in the middle of a pandemic no less!), but somehow, we found a way to make it work. Oh, and one last thing about this episode- after the show aired, one of my former producers who happened to be listening to the show called me up and invited me out to lunch. How about that?

Hello everyone! We're going into #TheUpdate vault to play one of our many episodes throughout our many years of the show. For today's episode, we go into the world of Year 4 of The Update. It was a weird year- starting off in the WKRB studios and then going out on the road (in the middle of a pandemic no less!), but somehow, we found a way to make it work. Oh, and one last thing about this episode- after the show aired, one of my former producers who happened to be listening to the show called me up and invited me out to lunch. How about that?

A week where the universe briefly chose kindness—payday landed just before Valentine’s Day, which immediately raised suspicion—and then promptly reminded us not to get comfortable. The boiler at home base tapped out like it had hit its retirement age, forcing everyone to layer up indoors and question why heat is apparently a seasonal luxury. Macy’s, meanwhile, stayed committed to its brand: charging luxury-tax prices for items powered entirely by nostalgia and vibes. Robes cost three figures, memories cost extra, and somehow the sale sign still felt disrespectful. Outside, New York City entered a full emotional spiral over a 1–3 inch snow forecast, triggering flashbacks, group chats, and pre-emptive panic shopping as if the forecast personally threatened our peace. Schools braced, commutes overreacted, and everyone acted like we were one inch away from total societal collapse.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Monday, hundreds of Brooklyn residents had no power or heat as temperatures plunged into the single digits following a devastating outage that started late Saturday.

New York state was ranked second-worst in the US for its costly, stringent rules on child care centers, a new analysis claimed.

And out in the American West, the urgent investigation into the apparent kidnapping of 84-year-old Nancy Guthrie continued, a week after the mother of “Today” show host Savannah Guthrie was reported missing in Arizona.