The Uplifters by Aransas Savas

November 06, 2025 Elena Brower: How to Hold Less in Midlife

Burnout recovery starts with slowing down. Yoga teacher Elena Brower shares how women over 40 can reduce brain fog, protect energy, and build sustainable courage.

Episode Description

Burnout recovery isn't about doing more—it's about carrying less. In this episode of The Uplifters, legendary yoga teacher, author, and artist Elena Brower shares her journey from New York City's achievement-driven yoga world to Santa Fe's spacious creative life, offering a roadmap for women over 40 ready to trade exhaustion for sustainable energy.

If you're experiencing brain fog, sleep disruptions from stress, or the physical toll of decades of overcommitment, Elena's story offers practical wisdom. She reveals how thriving in midlife means deliberately slowing down—not losing capacity, but gaining longer, richer days and protecting your nervous system from chronic overwhelm.

The Hidden Cost of Burnout After 40

Many women over 40 attribute fatigue, brain fog, and mood changes solely to perimenopause, but chronic stress and burnout compound these symptoms. Elena's journey demonstrates how addressing the root causes—endless commitments, external validation seeking, and poor boundaries—can improve both mental clarity and physical wellbeing.

What You'll Learn

Burnout Recovery Strategies:

How to use Nonviolent Communication (NVC) for self-compassion and reducing internal stress
Why deliberately slowing down improves focus, energy, and decision-making
Practical techniques for setting boundaries with work and family (including stopping work at 5pm)
The connection between achievement culture and nervous system dysregulation

Building Your Midlife Mindset:

How to identify what you're carrying and why (fewer grudges, less rancor, fewer debts)
The "Space of Genius" framework for organizing life around what matters most
Why seeking external validation exhausts you and how to build internal trust
How writing your stories creates retroactive healing without steeping in difficulty

Sustainable Courage Practices:

The four-step NVC process: observation, feelings, needs, and self-compassion
Elena's "truth has tears" writing practice for getting beyond comfortable truths
How Zen practice builds the internal trust that replaces ambition-driven burnout
Strategies for helping teenagers and partners take responsibility for their own emotional states

Why This Matters for Women 40+ at Work

The midlife mindset shift Elena describes isn't about opting out—it's about opting in to sustainability. For women over 40 navigating leadership, career transitions, or simply trying to maintain performance while managing physical changes, her approach offers an alternative to pushing through exhaustion.

Key Takeaways

Slower Creates Longer: Moving more slowly through your days paradoxically gives you the feeling of longer, richer days and reduces the cortisol response that worsens perimenopause symptoms.

Self-Empathy Reduces Physical Stress: The four-step NVC process (observe, name feelings, identify needs, self-compassion) helps regulate your nervous system before attempting to communicate with others.

Ambition and Mistrust Are Linked: The unconscious drive for external validation stems from internal mistrust. Building internal trust through practices like Zen meditation creates sustainable energy instead of burnout cycles.

Nobody Owes You Anything: Releasing the belief that people owe you attention or acknowledgment is one of the most freeing acts for reducing resentment and its physical toll.

Space of Genius Over Busy Work: Ruthlessly protect time for your unique contributions by continuously removing commitments that don't serve your wellbeing or purpose.

Timestamps

[00:00] Introduction and Nutrafol sponsorship (hair health for women over 40)

[01:15] Meeting Elena Brower and the Weight Watchers wellbeing project

[05:15] Elena's chapter transitions: from NYC yoga teacher to Santa Fe artist

[06:45] The advantages of aging (including body confidence in midlife)

[08:00] Zen practice, chaplaincy training, and nervous system regulation

[10:45] How art and Santa Fe merged unexpectedly

[11:30] The majestic halt: learning to slow down and reduce overwhelm

[13:00] The desire to be seen and the exhaustion of seeking validation

[14:00] Rosie dancing at 90 and redefining what matters

[15:00] Childhood patterns and unconscious motivations

[16:30] Introduction to Hold Nothing and what it teaches about carrying less

[17:15] Seeing with compassion and Nonviolent Communication

[18:15] The four steps of self-empathy in NVC for stress reduction

[20:15] Using NVC with children and partners to reduce family stress

[22:30] Creating mutual respect in relationships

[24:00] Practical tools: feelings and needs lists

[25:00] Carrying less: fewer grudges, less rancor, fewer debts

[26:00] Writing as retroactive healing

[27:30] The courage to share vulnerable stories

[28:00] Elena's writing process: truth has tears

[29:15] The scariest stories and healing family dynamics

[30:30] Processing childhood trauma without steeping in it

[32:30] Elena's hopes for the next decades: keep removing commitments

[33:00] Space of Genius (SOG) as a life quality metric

[34:30] Elena nominates Ally Bogard

[35:15] How to support Elena's work

[36:00] Tour dates and book availability

Guest Bio

Elena Brower is a renowned yoga teacher, artist, poet, author, and host of the Practice You podcast. Her first book, Art of Attention, became a foundational text in the yoga community. Her poetry collection Softening Time explores the tender terrain of midlife transformation. After years of teaching in New York City, Elena moved to Santa Fe, where she paints, writes, and studies Zen Buddhism while training for chaplaincy.

Her latest book, Hold Nothing: A New Way of Seeing and Being, emerged from her journey of learning to carry less (fewer grudges, less rancor, fewer expectations) while holding more space for truth, creativity, and genuine connection. Elena is also the creator of the Daily Ceremony decks. Through all her work, she invites women in midlife to slow down, see with compassion, and discover what becomes possible when we stop performing and start being.

Resources & References

Elena’s Website with links to her books, tour schedule, and so much more
The Waste Books by Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
Nonviolent Communication feelings and needs inventory

Lift Her Up

Support Elena’s Work:

Attend one of her book tour events. Let me know it you’ll attend the event at The Strand. I’ll be there with Carla Zanoni
Purchase Hold Nothing and share it with women in your life who are juggling too many plates
Follow her work on Substack for intimate reflections and poetry
Listen to the Practice You podcast

Elena Nominates: Ally Bogard, Co-Founder of The Twenty Six, facilitator, mentor, creator, and author of The Quiet Teachers.

Sponsor:

Nutrafol: Visit Nutrafol.com with promo code UPLIFTERS for $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping

Host Bio

Aransas Savas is the host of The Uplifters Podcast and founder of LiveUp Coaching & Consulting. A former behavioral scientist who spent years studying what drives human motivation and sustainable change, Aransas now dedicates her work to helping midlife women build their courage capital—the internal reserves of bravery that allow us to take meaningful risks in the second half of life.

She's a 22-time marathoner, weightlifter, ocean observer, and firm believer that our most courageous chapters often begin when we finally stop trying to be perfect and start getting curious about who we're becoming. Through her podcast, newsletter, and upcoming book Courage Capital, Aransas creates spaces where women's stories of transformation become roadmaps for collective rising.

Connect with Aransas: