Foster care stipends are intended to support the needs of the child, not to be personal income you can freely spend on yourself. That said, the reality is a little more nuanced.

What the stipend is meant for

The money you receive is to cover things like:

• Food, clothing, and housing for the child
• Transportation (school, appointments, visits)
• Personal care items
• Activities, school supplies, etc.

Can any of it benefit you?

Indirectly, yes. For example:

• Paying rent/mortgage or utilities (since the child lives with you)
• Buying groceries the whole household eats
• Gas for driving the child around

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Nothing prepares you for moments like this. In this episode, I break down a tough situation that crossed the line, and how I addressed it with firmness, respect, and a focus on teaching better behavior.

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Many foster kids do things that foster parents strongly dislike, but usually it’s not because they want to make the foster parent miserable. In most cases, the behavior comes from trauma, instability, or learned survival habits from their earlier life. Since you’ve been a foster parent for many years, you’ve probably seen some of these patterns already.
1. Poor Emotional Regulation

Kids who grew up in unstable homes often never learned how to:

• handle anger
• deal with frustration
• manage stress

So instead of talking about feelings, they may act out through behavior.

2. Lack of Life Skills

Some foster children were never taught basic routines:

• hygiene (showers, brushing teeth)
• cleaning up
• respecting personal space

What feels like “common sense” to adults may actually be new skills they still need to learn.

3. Feeling Powerless

Foster kids often have very little control over their lives—where they live, what school they attend, who they see. Acting out can be their way of regaining some sense of control.

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Typical monthly foster care payments (Virginia)

As of around 2025–2026, the base payments are approximately:

• Ages 0–4: about $580 per month
• Ages 5–12: about $677 per month
• Ages 13+: about $861 per month

These payments are meant to cover the child’s needs and are generally not considered taxable income.

Additional money that may be provided

Foster parents can sometimes receive extra payments, such as:

• Clothing allowances
• Higher rates for children with special or therapeutic needs/ more money
• Transportation reimbursements
• Respite care support

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Why you wouldn't want to adopt a kid who is ADHD or has autism. Both are neurodevelopmental conditions, meaning the brain develops and processes information differently. Children with these diagnoses can be very capable and talented, but they often require more structured parenting and support.

Why some people hesitate

1. Behavioral challenges

• Impulsivity, emotional regulation issues, meltdowns, or defiance can occur.

1. Extra time and supervision

• Parents may need to monitor hygiene, homework, routines, and social behavior much more closely.

1. School and therapy needs

• Many children require Individualized Education Programs (IEPs), therapy, or medication.

1. Stress on the household

• Siblings and caregivers sometimes experience higher stress levels if behaviors are intense.

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Children with conditions such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Autism Spectrum Disorder often appear inconsistent: they may struggle with some tasks yet perform extremely well in others. This pattern is largely explained by how their brains process executive function, motivation, and sensory input.

1. Executive Function Differences

Both ADHD and autism can involve challenges with executive functioning—the brain systems that manage planning, organization, impulse control, and task initiation.

A child may:

• Understand what needs to be done
• Even want to do it
• But still have difficulty starting or completing the task

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I’m finding this placement particularly challenging. His behavior can be rude and oppositional at times, and ongoing hygiene concerns have been difficult to manage. He won't flush the toilet after pooping and he's not the most attractive kid. I also recognize that some of my reactions are rooted in frustration. Regardless of those feelings, I remain committed to treating him with dignity, respect, and consistency, and to providing the structure and support he needs.

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Is Rason missing? Lets talk about it.

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The trafficking of foster children is a deeply concerning issue, as vulnerable children in the foster care system can sometimes become targets for human traffickers. This problem arises from a combination of factors, such as unstable living conditions, lack of consistent support, and emotional trauma that traffickers exploit. Foster children often move between homes, may run away from placements, or may not have stable connections with adults who can protect them.

Key factors contributing to the trafficking of foster children include:

1. Runaways: A significant number of children who run away from foster care are at a heightened risk of being trafficked. Many traffickers specifically target runaway children because they are often desperate for food, shelter, or affection, making them more vulnerable to manipulation.
2. Online Exploitation: Traffickers often recruit vulnerable youth through social media and other online platforms, using emotional manipulation or false promises of love and security.

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https://www.youtube.com/@JustsewJoeJones 

Hey everyone!

I’m excited to share my YouTube channel, where I’m dedicated to raising awareness and support for foster kids. Every subscription helps us spread the word and make a difference in their lives! Thank you so much!!!

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