The Useless Hotline

Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline

Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.

Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.

Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:

[email protected]

OR

Send a voice note to our Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

You can also listen here:

Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl

Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?

Tiktok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Hosts Socials:

Max’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@max_balegde

George’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke

Max’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1

George’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1

Max’s Instagram:

https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

George’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/

George’s Twitter:

https://twitter.com/Clarke13George

🎵 Copyrighted music licensed from Lickd. https://lickd.co

The Scientist by Coldplay, https://t.lickd.co/l/VpYDOP33wJG

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Description: This week, we’re joined by TikTok & Youtube sensations - the hosts of The Useless Hotline podcast - George Clarke and Max Balegde!

So listen in as the duo dives into all the wildly unhinged ways they’d spend a £200,000,000 EuroMillions jackpot. From a time-traveling mukbang to cancel Henry VIII, to a spiteful loft conversion built solely to annoy Max with loud Pasodoble dancing, to the ultimate morning routine on the 10-minute “cleaner coaster”

Subscribe and follow for new episodes every Friday!!!

Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/ycyfv2fc

On Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4ths7ned

On TikTok: https://tinyurl.com/4d9k5457

On Instagram: https://tinyurl.com/ykumd329

On YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/yxyruujd

Brought to you by EuroMillions from The National Lottery and Acast Creative ✨

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline

Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.

Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.

Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:

[email protected]

OR

Send a voice note to our Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

You can also listen here:

Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl

Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?

Tiktok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Hosts Socials:

Max’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@max_balegde

George’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke

Max’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1

George’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1

Max’s Instagram:

https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

George’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/

George’s Twitter:

https://twitter.com/Clarke13George

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline

Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.

Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.

Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:

[email protected]

OR

Send a voice note to our Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

You can also listen here:

Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl

Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?

Tiktok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Hosts Socials:

Max’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@max_balegde

George’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke

Max’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1

George’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1

Max’s Instagram:

https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

George’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/

George’s Twitter:

https://twitter.com/Clarke13George

00:00 - Feeling like a mushy yogurt: opening reflections

00:12 - Tour update: halfway through Australia, Brisbane rooftop recording

00:40 - Aussie sounds: sirens, busy streets, and Melbourne-Melbourne crossover

01:30 - Youthful adventures: scooter rides in rain and birthdays in Auckland

02:50 - Wild Auckland stories: street fights, blood pools, and chaotic brawls

04:02 - New Zealand’s unique culture and stunning landscapes

05:10 - Sydney arrival: heat, traffic, and city impressions

06:45 - Australian food obsessions: yogurt, snacks, and food scene comparisons

07:55 - Meeting Robert Irwin: zoo visits, celebrity stories, and family legacy

09:20 - The passionate Irwin family and Steve Irwin’s legacy

10:50 - Fans, meet and greets, and the magnetic energy of live shows

12:30 - Funny stories of exotic encounters and local characters

13:45 - Reflections on the journey and plans to return to these incredible countries

15:00 - Wrapping up: gratitude for fans, upcoming shows, and future adventures

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline

Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.

Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.

Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:

[email protected]

OR

Send a voice note to our Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

You can also listen here:

Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl

Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?

Tiktok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Hosts Socials:

Max’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@max_balegde

George’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke

Max’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1

George’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1

Max’s Instagram:

https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

George’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/

George’s Twitter:

https://twitter.com/Clarke13George

Timestamps

00:00 - Introduction: Getting in the dark at Hobbiton and tour prep chaos

06:09 - Hobbiton vs. the Hobbits: Clearing up the Lord of the Rings lore

10:10 - Australia tour: Tickets, dates, and how to join the fun in Sydney, Melbourne, and more

15:01 - The UK tour highlights: dance routines, technical challenges, and character costumes

16:22 - Rehearsal stories: Spontaneous dance numbers, stage mishaps, and improvisation

19:08 - The chaos of stage blackouts and find-my-microphone moments

20:21 - Entertainment: Irish jigs, Miss Piggy costumes, and audience reactions

24:52 - Funny on-stage confessions and risqué moments, including Andrew’s comedy bits

26:20 - Travel tales from Japan and new adventures planned, including Disney and Pokémon

34:26 - Marathon journey: training snippets, race stories, unexpected injuries

40:10 - Theme parks: Queue horror stories, ride experiences, and comparisons across Japan and Florida

45:54 - The magic of Disney: Hidden details, park secrets, and fan dedication

50:00 - Final tour call-to-action: Tickets, gratitude, and upcoming shows

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline

Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.

Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.

Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:

[email protected]

OR

Send a voice note to our Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

You can also listen here:

Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl

Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?

Tiktok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Hosts Socials:

Max’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@max_balegde

George’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke

Max’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1

George’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1

Max’s Instagram:

https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

George’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/

George’s Twitter:

https://twitter.com/Clarke13George

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Setup

03:00 Life on Tour and Experiences in Bristol

06:04 Humorous Anecdotes and Stories

09:03 Discussion on Murder and Crime in Bristol

12:03 Reflections on Life and Morality

15:02 Plans for Break and Future Guests

18:00 Literary References and Fun Conversations

18:17 Celebrating World Book Day

24:39 Memorable World Book Day Costumes

30:01 The Impact of Water Parks

36:59 Gratitude for Fans and Experiences

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline

Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.

Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.

Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:

[email protected]

OR

Send a voice note to our Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

You can also listen here:

Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl

Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?

Tiktok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Hosts Socials:

Max’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@max_balegde

George’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke

Max’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1

George’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1

Max’s Instagram:

https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

George’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/

George’s Twitter:

https://twitter.com/Clarke13George

00:00 - Intro: Our tour journey and what to expect from this episode

00:20 - Hilarious tour start and Belfast dressing room chaos

02:18 - Tour highlights and strange fan encounters

04:10 - Strictly dance wins and the chaos around voting

05:50 - Funny school stories and learning disabilities on tour

07:45 - The drunken Irish night out and mishaps

12:05 - The epic night out in Newcastle gone wrong

14:10 - Stage antics and the drunken club appearance stories

18:20 - Audience antics, fan stories, and backstage surprises

22:18 - The mysterious "Chopped Cow" fanfic and ridiculous fan interactions

26:37 - Audience behavior, crowd engagement, and wildest moments

30:45 - General tour reflections, upcoming shows, and the travel chaos

35:42 - The differences between social media fans and live audiences

37:14 - Tour wrap-up, gratitude to fans, and future plans

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline

Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.

Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.

Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:

[email protected]

OR

Send a voice note to our Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

You can also listen here:

Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl

Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?

Tiktok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Hosts Socials:

Max’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@max_balegde

George’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke

Max’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1

George’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1

Max’s Instagram:

https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

George’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/

George’s Twitter:

https://twitter.com/Clarke13George

Timestamps:

00:00 - Intro to the episode and what it covers

00:20 - Tour stories and hotel mishaps in Sheffield

02:08 - Woke up hair and quarantine-style hair struggles

04:13 - Sheffield city vibe and impressions from Max

05:22 - Tour logistics: number of stops and tour crowd size

06:42 - The mysterious "six or seven" quantifier and its cultural significance

07:48 - The viral "6, 7" meme and its generational reach

08:18 - Embarrassing fan cam moments at concerts

09:02 - The rules of on-tour games and the "Johnny Johnny" challenge

10:16 - Vito’s tour vlogs and dancing obsession

11:12 - Venue sizes: from Wembley to Palladium and ticket sell-outs

12:02 - Tour marketing strategies and ticket sales insight

13:08 - Meet and greet tickets and Bristol’s special spot in the tour

14:21 - Post-Nashville night out plans and fun clips from the tour

20:02 - The innovative PlayStation Portal device and upcoming Australian tour

21:32 - Australian media appearances and pronunciation struggles

22:28 - Anxiety over international impressions and speaking nerves

24:16 - Upcoming audio cues and halftime fun during the tour

26:01 - The game: "Does George care about this?" — pop culture topics quiz

27:15 - Grammys, Bad Bunny’s power move, and celebrity moments

28:44 - Nostalgia for iconic award show moments and Twitter rabbit holes

30:24 - Nicki Minaj’s controversial hand-holding and celebrity gossip

35:16 - The Jeffrey Epstein files: celebrity involvement and conspiracy theories

39:48 - The Kia Asylum metaphor explained—artists trapped in obscurity or success

41:16 - Debating whether Sabrina Carpenter and Katy Perry are "out" or "inside" the Kia

43:39 - The episode’s closing thoughts and the audience's role in sending dilemmas

47:18 - Final call for concise, funny audience stories and instructions

48:34 - Sign-off and excitement for upcoming shows and audience meetups

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline

Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.

Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.

Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:

[email protected]

OR

Send a voice note to our Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

You can also listen here:

Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl

Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?

Tiktok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Hosts Socials:

Max’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@max_balegde

George’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke

Max’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1

George’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1

Max’s Instagram:

https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

George’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/

George’s Twitter:

https://twitter.com/Clarke13George

Chapters

00:00 Nicki Minaj and Donald Trump: A Political Shift

03:00 Life in the Spotlight: Touring and Hosting Events

05:52 Olympic Aspirations: From Bobsled to Curling

09:06 Figure Skating and Curling: Behind the Scenes

11:59 The Evolution of Music and Celebrity Culture

14:57 The Price of Fame: Ticket Prices and Fan Reactions

17:58 The Changing Landscape of Rap and Rivalries

31:03 The Evolution of TikTok Personalities

34:58 Nostalgia for Viral Moments

38:53 The Rise and Fall of Internet Fame

41:01 The Business of Cameo and Monetization

56:51 Reflections on the Cameo Experience

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline

Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.

Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.

Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:

[email protected]

OR

Send a voice note to our Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

You can also listen here:

Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl

Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?

Tiktok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Hosts Socials:

Max’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@max_balegde

George’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke

Max’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1

George’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1

Max’s Instagram:

https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

George’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/

George’s Twitter:

https://twitter.com/Clarke13George

00:00 Introduction to the Useless Hotline

05:02 The Traitors Experience

10:52 Game Strategies and Relationships

16:57 Reflections on the Traitors Show

25:24 Social Dynamics and Game Strategies

33:49 Celebrity Culture and Family Dynamics

41:35 Privilege and Public Perception

48:40 Upcoming Adventures and Promotions

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.