The Vysdym Podcast

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Skills like speech, language and motor abilities are important, but they are impossible to learn and retain without establishing a baseline of safety. The only way to get your autistic child to engage with you is by nurturing a secure attachment. In over a decade of practicing Occupational Therapy, it is the only strategy that resulted in autistic kids letting me into their world repeatedly which opened up infinite possibilities for both the child and me, as the therapist. It is a strategy that MUST be transferred to one/both parents. This episode is for those parents who are willing to do the hard work. A secure attachment is a gift that keeps on giving, for you and your baby! Give it a listen if that stirs something in you. 

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This 2 letter word - NO- is often relegated to being problematic/triggering for neurodivergent children who are ostracized and made unjustly responsible for the resulting meltdown. NO- is not only necessary, it is a powerful tool in your tool box. As a parent, you must acknowledge the responsibility that comes with great power by answering some tough questions along the way. Listen to this episode if you want to learn the underlying philosophy to use this powerful word tactfully. Do it right, and surprisingly, it will strengthen your relationship with your baby. 

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How often has your baby been assessed using independent functioning as the yardstick? Is that the most beneficial goal to work towards? How does a hyperfocus on independent participation backfire? How does this impact you relationship with your baby? In this episode, I'm answering all these questions and presenting an alternate perspective - it is another I-word - one that is not only neurodiversity affirming, but also relationship focused. If that's an approach you're interested in adopting, then go ahead, give it a listen. 

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In this episode we dive deeper into the fear of discharge, which leads to another d-word- disempowerment. We talk about the lies and the disillusionment underneath this fear and how these impact, not only you but also your baby's attachment needs. Like everything else, overcoming this ginormous obstacle is quite doable and possible, but I cannot convince you. You must listen and decide for yourself. I can however, vouch for the liberation that results from running towards your fears instead of away. 

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Back to the mic after an extended hiatus. In this episode I talk about two important events that triggered a significant positive change in my personal and professional life since my last episode. It is important to me that I share them with you before we get back to talking about Neurodiverse parenting. I also make a public re-commitment to the mission of this podcast with a greater acceptance of my own neurodiversity. I'm not playing small, not anymore. 

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In this episode we are deep diving into shame. If you have felt embarrassed about your baby's diagnosis or your baby's behaviour then you are not alone. We are taking hints from Dr Brene Brown's work which informs us that shame thrives in secrecy, silence and judgement. 
So. as you listen, we'll be doing exactly the opposite, together! 
Parental acceptance of the child's neurodivergent body and nervous system lays the foundation for self-acceptance, self respect and self esteem as the child grows and develops. You will learn a simple affirmation to address the embarrassing feelings whenever they come up. Listen to this episode to overcome parental shame and champion your neurodivergent child!

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For several generations, it was assumed that it was enough for parents to provide food, safety, shelter and education. Looking at the world in 2023, it's evident there is a mental  health crisis resulting primarily from unmet core needs. Turns out your baby needs more than the basics.
In this episode we break down the 4 core needs as identified by Dr Gordon Neufeld and further described by Dr Gabor Mate. We also look into the reality of anxiety resulting from unmet core needs. This episode is easily the most important one I've ever written/published.

References for further reading:
1. Maté, G. (2000). Scattered Minds: A New Look at the Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder.
2. Maté, G. & Maté, D. (2022). The Myth of Normal. Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture.
3. Neufeld, G. and Maté, G. (2013). Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. 
4.https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0145213419303047

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In this episode The polyvagal theory is used as a framework to describe your body and your baby's body with deep respect and gratitude, because-why not! We explore the physiological/autonomic states as described by Dr Stephen Porges's work. This perspective is just what you need to build a more compassionate and respectful outlook towards your baby's needs. You will also open up to more compassion for yourself as a parent. Win-win. 

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In this episode, I'm getting curious about the brain- not just your baby's, yours too! We talk about about what parts of the brain take control when your baby feels unsafe and what you can do to best support your baby so he/she can just exist in your presence.

 Also, we dive into what's going inside your brain when you're around your baby.
Listen to this episode if you are tired and unsuccessful at being "patient" with your child. When you understand what's going on inside your baby's brain, you get to show up as the best adult caregiver you can possible be for your child, with a lot less trying and a lot more, just, being.

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What can be done about all this shushing you've been taught to do to your neurodivergent child? Is that the best way to support your child's needs? How can you build a loving connection with your child? All these questions are answered in this episode. You will also be able to decide on a general direction for your parenting and you will learn a wonderful first step towards changing the way you show up for your neurodivergent child- all this, as promised, in a healthy cocktail of challenge and compassion for you my superheroes! We're in this together. 

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