OMG FALL IS HERE!!!! But I'm not ready to let go of summer just yet. I've been stewing over everyones vacations this summer and I've got thoughts. Because when I go on vacation, I'm just paying a ridiculous amount of money to temporarily become a different person(and I love that).

This week, we're getting into the absolute magic of vacations: cruise ships (that are essentially floating Lego sets), all-inclusive resorts where every meal is free-ish, charging literally anything to your hotel room, and why you MUST splurge on the hotel room. We’re talking hotel bath robes, freezing cold rooms, unnecessary amenities, and the deeply important question of why some hotels refuse to make the room cold enough.

Plus: Disney for a honeymoon. Romantic? Magical? Relaxing? Absolutely...NOT.

It’s vacation logic. Don’t think about it too hard. Just charge it to the room.

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It's time we acknowledge, Fast Food used to be FUN!!!!

In this episode, we’re celebrating the pinnacle of fast food (aka my childhood). The good, the bad, the ugly, and baby--the NOSTALGIA! And of course I'm taking this opportunity as my chance to give you my opinion on the all-time favorites, hidden gems, the best things to order, the absolute atrocities you should avoid, and more!

And because apparently we can’t have one conversation without going completely off the rails (like always lol), we also talk about Dolly Parton, my white women Mount Rushmore, and several other things that have absolutely nothing to do with hamburgers.

So grab some fries and pull forward.

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This week’s load of The Wash is ALL about AIRPORTS. I'm fresh off a family trip to beautiful Florida and, naturally, I've got a lot of thoughts...

This week, I'm diving into everything in an airport: from the chaos of tiny regional airports, to bathrooms that smell like something DIED, to the very specific personalities you encounter on every airline. I'm unpacking all of it.

I'm recapping my latest travel adventures, breaking down what I think should be the RULES of the airport, and asks the MOST important questions: Why does every airport bathroom smell like that?

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I survived working retail and honestly… I don’t know how ?!?!?

This week we’re getting into the absolute CHAOS that comes with RETAIL. The insane customers, managers with attitude problems, and the trauma that follows me every time I step into a store!! Retail truly builds character. Unfortunately, I think I would've been just fine without it.

OH...and I also talk about hitting ONE MILLION FOLLOWERS (!!!!), going to a ridiculously fancy restaurant in LA where the valet situation was INSANE, and so. much. more!!!

Basically, it’s a solo episode about retail trauma, being dramatic, and somehow continuing to function as an adult. Enjoy.

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This week on The Wash, Evelyn Gonzalez (@evelyngonzalez) is HERE!!! We get to YAP about everything that's important (or not important at all ??): from getting dressed (or simply refusing to), hobbies and horseback riding, to Evelyn’s move to LA in 2016 and surviving the skinny jean epidemic.

We also get VERY real about relationships... When is it time to trust your man, and when are you just ignoring a giant red flag? We do a NEW segment this week called “Spinning Out” that chats about the relationship behaviors that would immediately make us suspicious, question everything, or ghost him completely.

Plus: back-to-school supplies, PTSD, hobbies we abandoned, and the eternal topic… some relationships just are NOT worth the stress.

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My friend Nick Norcia (@nick_norcia, @overallcountry) is living proof that you never know what's coming next!

This week we talk all about Nick's latest adventures: beekeeping, gardening, and turning Los Angeles into his own personal ranch. We both talk about our love of growing up in the South, playing mermaids in the pool, and then we chat the wild story of him meeting Lana Del Rey (and somehow teaching her how to use a microwave). And your favorite segment is BACK! The Mystery Socks this week have some of your most chaotic opinions YET! Submit your own sock at bit.ly/submitasock

Grab your laundry and join us for another load!

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This week I'm diving headfirst into 90s/00s nostalgia!!! From Tamagotchis and Webkinz...to Hilary Duff and the wonderfully unhinged era of TLC (19 Kids and Counting, Wife Swap, and more). Plus, we discuss the World Cup halftime show, I reveal what you SHOULD NOT DO when emailing me... and we taste-test nostalgic snacks to find out if childhood was actually delicious… or if we were just easily impressed. If you grew up in the golden age of Disney Channel, reality TV, and questionable snack foods, you're gonna eat this up...

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It's my birthday, which means I had one very important job: make this entire episode all about ME!

I'm handing out trophies for the dumbest decisions, the funniest stories, the biggest life moments, and the absolute chaos that somehow keeps finding me. From accidentally meeting celebrities (without knowing who they were) to Franklin creating one of the worst Roomba disasters imaginable, there's an award for EVERYTHING!

Plus: my drink of the summer, the latest diarrhea virus everyone seems to be talking about, daylight savings time, and whatever else my ADHD brain decided deserved an award.

Welcome to the first annual Dalton Awards.

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This week I'm BACK! And finally giving the full Europe debrief... But a return to the states wouldn't be normal if there wasn't a few hiccups (or almost getting attacked by a coyote at my house lol). Join me as I chat through my trip, the Uber driver who gassed me in his car, and even my run in with the flight attendent who thought I came off the street. OH! And BACK by popular demand...the return of Mystery Socks!! Submit your own below or at the link in my bio!

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@JulianCookies has interviewed countless celebrities on red carpets, but can he recognize their most iconic quotes? On The Wash this week, we're talking surviving airport chaos, what celebrities are actually like on the red carpet, Arby's favorites, chicken salad opinions that could end friendships, and Ariana Grande Concerts! Get ready to go for a SPIN!

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