Looking Back to Move Forward

Today I am blessed to be joined by Storyteller and Emotional Wellness Researcher Lalith Wijedoru. Having met at a conference this year we knew instantly that we had a mutual appreciation and a Podcast episode to share. Using both our personal childhood experiences and looking at the roles of our Father’s in our upbringing we find out why looking back is essential if we ever want to move forwards.

So today we are going to walk you through the following:

• How our father’s own upbringing affected their parenting styles

• How we saw our father’s growing up

• How we felt they saw us as children and how this shaped our view of our self

• The impact of unexpressed or poorly expressed emotions

• Why Pride can be a scary emotion

• What our 8-year-old and 80-year-old selves may think of us now.

You’ll leave with:

• Ideas around the importance of emotional literacy

• Understanding intergenerational trauma

• Learnings on how to begin to heal emotional wounds

• Insights into self-image and self-worth

• Why Leadership is not perfection but authenticity

• How to lean into forgiveness of yourself and others

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Email: [email protected] Or connect on Socials.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codesignwithfliss/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fliss-goldsmith-2110752

Contact Lalith Wijedoru here:

www.behindyourmask.co

https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-lalith-wijedoru-88b30a/?originalSubdomain=uk

https://www.instagram.com/lalithwijedoru/

ANGER AND CO PART 2.

Anger is a very visceral emotion, I bet just thinking about anger can bring on that feeling of things bubbling over into arguments, misunderstandings and even fights.

I see anger as a red-light warning that there is something going on underneath the anger – and researchers are split on whether it is a primary or secondary emotion. Luckily the tools and techniques to processing anger in a healthy way don’t rely on the category it falls in to.

One of Anger’s near neighbours is Contempt (and that requires a pinch of disgust) so we are going to put it under the microscope to find out why we so often go there.

(If you haven’t listened to Anger and Co Part1 it’s really beneficial to start from there and listen in sequence to the Episodes to extract the most from them)

So today I am going to walk you through the following:

What contempt is and how it physically feels

Why contempt focuses on the inadequacy of others

How creating a superiority/inferiority dynamic is damaging

What external actions signal our contempt

How contempt signals a need to reframe

How contempt and anger on a chronic basis lead to physical ill health

Why repeatedly processing anger with contempt damages mental health.

You’ll leave with:

The confidence to correctly identify contempt

The skills to utilise the right tools from your emotional backpack to remedy it

Higher level of Emotional Literacy

Remedies for frequently frequented contempt pitfalls

Ways to use contempt to provoke healthy change

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram and Facebook: @codesignwithfliss

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fliss-goldsmith-2110752

ANGER AND CO PART 1

Anger is a very visceral emotion, I bet just thinking about anger can bring on that feeling of things bubbling over into arguments, misunderstandings and even fights.

I see anger as a red light warning that there is something going on underneath the anger – and researchers are split on whether it is a primary or secondary emotion. Luckily the tools and techniques to processing anger in a healthy way don’t rely on the category it falls in to.

So today I am going to walk you through the following:

What anger is and how it physically feels

Why anger requires action

How bottling it up is physically unhealthy

Why letting it spill over is equally corrosive

How anger is a signal that change is required

What other unexpressed emotions are hiding under the surface

The 4 behaviours we fall into when we are angry

You’ll leave with:

The confidence to correctly identify anger

The skills to utilise the right tools from your emotional backpack to remedy it

Higher level of Emotional Literacy

4 remedies for frequently frequented anger pitfalls

Ways to use anger to provoke healthy change

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram and Facebook: @codesignwithfliss

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fliss-goldsmith-2110752

OVERWHELEMED!

Let’s face it – every single one of us is facing a sense of chronic overwhelm.

But just thinking about overwhelm is – well OVERWHELMING!

Fear not, I am here to guide you through understanding what it is and most importantly what we can do about it.

By listening to this episode you are prioritising your wellbeing and that positively impacts everyone you connect with – you are literally making the world a better place 😊

We will take a look at:

What overwhelm is – visceral definition incoming!

The difference between overwhelm and stress

Why it is SO BAD for our health, emotionally, mentally and physically

Why we are stuck in an overwhelm cycle

How to recognise overwhelm and deal with it effectively

5 top tips to reduce the frequency and impact of it on our lives.

Why trusted friends are VITAL and why we aren’t all everyone’s trusted friend (it’s OK!)

Why I roll on the floor, dance in the supermarket and may be asking you to join me!

You’ll leave with:

The confidence to correctly identify overwhelm and the triggers

The skills to utilise the right tools from your emotional backpack to remedy it

Ideas to ensure you can practice prevention as well as cure

Remember to check out past episodes – especially the tremendous 2 part offering on Self Compassion – it will boost your emotional skills backpack enormously!

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram and Facebook: @codesignwithfliss

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fliss-goldsmith-2110752

Trust You!

Trust is something that factors into all of our relationships – but no-where is it more important than our relationship to ourselves!

Trust is a neurobiological process as well as an emotion, making it super tricky to pick apart what effects it and how we make it stronger.

Fear not though because that’s why I am here with this value packed episode.

We will take a look at:

How trust is coded in our brains

How it shows up physically in the body

Why our intuition is a vital component

Why mistrust occurs and how it feels

What creates a self-mistrust loop

5 top tips to break that cycle

The importance of values, boundaries, goals, self-compassion, alone time and non-judgement.

Why my husband isn’t building a kitchen extension!

You’ll leave with:

A better understanding of how trust works

Ways to trust yourself more

The springboard to strengthen trust with others

Remember to check out past episodes – especially the tremendous 2 part offering on Self Compassion – it will boost your emotional skills backpack enormously!

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram and Facebook: @codesignwithfliss

Shame, Shame, Shame on Who? You (and me!)

Did you know that the majority of our negative behaviours are rooted in shame?

Just the word shame evokes a pain so raw and visceral that Author of finding fish, Antwone Fisher describes how he would choose being repeatedly physically beaten over experiencing shame. Ouch indeed.

If we can address our shame, our processes and reactions to it – then we have the key to more positive, productive and supportive behaviours going forward.

Like the sound of that? Me too!

So where are we journeying to in today’s emotional adventure?

• We will explore what shame is and why it creates a feeling of UNWORTHINESS within us.

• What connection FEAR has to shame and our sense of place and belonging.

• We identify the 3 ELEMENTS Shame requires to thrive

• I’ll explain how ‘SHAMELESS’ has been wrongly used for centuries

• I reveal what the ANTIDOTE to shame is

• And the strategies you need to work through and OVERCOME shame in any situation.

All your relationships (including the one you have with yourself) will thank you for it.

So, let’s set off together and unearth some truths to ensure your tomorrow is brighter than today. Because YOU deserve the most optimal future, whatever that looks like individually to you. It would certainly be a SHAME to miss out on this one.

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram and Facebook: @codesignwithfliss

What a Disappointment!

Is there anything more gut punching and face wrinkling than Disappointment?!

Were you ever told by your parents, ‘I am not annoyed at you, just disappointed.’ Such a loaded word which heaps shame into the bargain.

I bet you have been disappointed in someone or something yourself – so what really IS Disappointment?

Glad you asked because this episode unpacks the reality of Disappointment and quite helpfully offers some ideas around how to reduce its presence and manage the fall out if it does rear its ugly head!

Find out why I can’t ever watch The Matrix (boyfriend disaster story)

Which emotions like to come along for the Disappointing ride (Anger anyone?!)

Why Shakespeare made me vulnerable (William you old devil!)

Why expectation is the name of the game…….

And my 4 top tips to ensure you can deal with disappointment for yourself and those you love in a healthy way – YES it is possible promise!

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram and Facebook: @codesignwithfliss

Eco – Living – Marisha Kay

Marisha Kay joins us to talk about the realities of eco-living and how each and every one of us can start making a positive impact for positive change right now. She and her partner Andy own a beautiful Eco Living shop in Belper which is making life super easy with it’s online availability too.

Earth Harmony is a star of the Belper green scene. This shop has everything from shampoo, toilet roll, fabric softener and toothpaste to wine, chocolate, and period products. A community owned, zero waste venture that puts its customers first Offering online ordering and local delivery means that shopping from the likes of Amazon can be a thing of the past.

We talk about the financial cost of earth friendly shopping as well as how our time strapped society can also benefit from slowing down while they make conscientious choices for their lives and community.

We get very honest about the practicalities that people are facing and how we can take our own personal situation and adapt something we are already doing, for an eco-alternative without suffering a loss of time or finances.

You’ll find out how to easily analyse the raft of ‘green’ products on the market and find out the credentials of the company offering them, the ingredients and the ethics that make up the whole package. ethicalconsumer.org is the website for all your questions easily answered!

You can join their co-operative from just £50 for the year and get 10% discount on everything you purchase. Local businesses can also benefit getting their membership at £100 for the year and 20% off everything. Earth Harmony puts people before planet and profit, sharing any surplus between their founders, workers, customers, and investors. So, the more you shop, the bigger the return – how brilliant is that?!

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram and Facebook: @codesignwithfliss

You can start making a difference and connect with Marisha here-

Website: earthharmony.online

Instagram and Facebook :@earthharmonybelper

For Product Credentials check out: ethicalconsumer.org

Making a Difference – A Frank Conversation

Sometimes we feel like we are too small to make a difference – or perhaps the world is too big for our contribution to count. My guest today is Frank Adlington-Stringer and he is here to tell you that this notion could not be further from the truth!

Frank is our Green Councillor in the North (North East Derbyshire to be precise) and though he is only in his mid-twenties he is already making quite an impact. He is actually standing to be the first ever Mayor of the entire East Midlands – but as he so humbly admits, he doesn’t have any superpowers.

Frank came from a suburban family home in Derbyshire, went to High School and then travelled. Eventually he decided to study politics at Nottingham Trent University. From here he worked every day trying to make small differences to not only the area where he lived, but also to his own life.

Struggles with mental health meant Frank was fighting for his future. After some very honest conversations with family he sought support from a therapist and attributes his survival to her and his family. He knows that wellbeing is the true measure of success and regularly makes time to be out in nature, practices yoga and loves cooking up a storm in the kitchen.

Connection and community are the priority for Frank, and he believes this is where we can all start to make little differences to our own lives and that of our community. The benefits of looking after our own emotional and mental wellbeing, as well as being part of something bigger like a community project are well researched as being entirely positive.

So, if you are feeling a bit isolated, disconnected or just like your desire to make a difference has waned, then this is the episode for you. Frank believes in a fairer, safer, kinder, greener and more just future for us all – and yes some say he is a dreamer, but having spent time in his presence I can tell you he’s the most incredible dreamer and more than that – he’s one with a plan to create the reality!

Join us and make a difference to your wellbeing – feel good factor guaranteed (and a story about a Shepherd’s pie and a plastic fork! )

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram and Facebook: @codesignwithfliss

You can start making a difference and connect with Frank here-

Website: www.frankadlington.wixsite.com

Instagram and TikTok :@frankadlingtons

X : @Frankadlingtons

Get Joyfully Disruptive!

I bet there are times you just want to disrupt a situation or perhaps a narrative in your life? There are definitely times in my own where I have noticed old repetitive patterns of behaviour that do not serve me but yet I return to them time and again. What to do though, it seems an uphill struggle to disrupt a well trodden pattern doesn’t it? What if I told you that you could still disrupt the less favourable parts of your life with JOY! Now that sounds more interesting for sure!

Good job I have just the best person to walk us through the idea of Joyful Disruption – it’s Vanessa Boon aka The Joyful Disruptor. She loves to shake up systems with a smile! Not only does she use Joy to anchor herself into the idea of making change she also uses it to tackle systems of oppression and societal norms as well, drawing on over 20 years’ experience in tackling inequality and social injustice – pretty impressive huh?! Oh, Vanessa certainly is impressive, and do you know what I love the most about her – she is so relatable, humble, down to earth, honest and compassionate.

You will get some key takeaways from this episode that will enable you to start changing your mindset to a Joy focussed one (and by the way that does not mean being toxically positive all the time – far from it). From there you can shine a light into your own life and begin to disrupt those behaviours, relationships and paths that are just not working and repair them with kindness, compassion, and power. I am certainly sold already.

So, please join me and empower yourself to ring the changes as joyfully as possible and start living that aligned future you so readily deserve. Grab a cuppa and a snack (I am not one for disrupting my mid-morning routine too much!) and let me know what joyful disruption you have on your horizon. (email me [email protected] or jump into my DM’s @codesignwithfliss on Insta and Facebook).

With Love and Empowerment

X Fliss X

Find Fliss and more Emotional Empowerment over at www.codesignwithfliss.com

Or connect on Socials.

Instagram and Facebook: @codesignwithfliss

You can get joyfully disruptive and connect with Vanessa here-

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessaboon/

Ihttp://www.derbyspeaksup.org.uk/