The Way is Love

Cultivating the Inner Relationship Today on The Focusing Way Podcast our guest is Barbara McGavin co creator of a style of focusing that has come to be known as Inner Relationship Focusing. Our conversation focuses on the inner relationship, focusing partnership and the origins of inner relationship focusing. Barbara brings a warm style and deep understanding to this thoughtful interview. Barbara specializes in using Inner Relationship Focusing with emotional overwhelm, self-criticism and creativity. Barbara McGavin’s greatest joy is exploring the frontiers of the Focusing process – what it is and how it can be applied in daily life. Since 1991, she has been developing Inner Relationship Focusing with Ann Weiser Cornell. Since 1994, the two of them have been exploring Focusing in some of the most difficult areas of life. Deep listening and Inner Relationship listening Treasure Maps to the Soul has grown out of this and is the core of Barbara’s own Focusing practice. Barbara’s other great interest is in how Focusing can be used in the creative arts. She has developed a process called From Spark to Beacon to help people develop and release their creative capacities. Barbara has been practicing Focusing since 1983. In the ‘80s, she helped found The British Focusing Network (BFN) and The British Focusing Teachers’ Association (BFTA). She is a Certifying Coordinator for the Focusing Institute as well as an Accrediting Mentor for the British Focusing Teachers’ Association. Her background is in humanistic psychology, teaching, fine art, and graphic design.   [caption id="attachment_527" align="alignnone" width="379"] Barbara McGavin[/caption] LISTEN ON STITCHER SUBSCRIBE IN ITUNES LEARN FOCUSING TAKE A LEVEL ONE FOCUSING CLASS LISTEN TO RADICAL GENTLENESS

Wholebody Focusing founder Kevin McEvenue This episode takes us into the world of wholebody focusing with founder Kevin McEvenue.  Kevin lives and works in Toronto's Cabbagetown district in the city's east end.  Kevin's personal story of using focusing as a way to overcome physical challenges are a testament to how powerful a process focusing is. Kevin is a wholebody Focusing teacher What is most striking about Kevin McEvenue’s approach to teaching is that it comes directly from his own embodied experience; so that what he shares is from his own authentic place of bodily knowing. Kevin loves sharing what he knows with others, and derives great joy in watching others grow and expand upon their own sense of knowing of who they are. In addition, he is a very intuitive and compassionate listener conveying strength of presence and heartfelt connection with anyone with whom he interacts. Kevin brings 35 years of experience having taught Wholebody Focusing globally including Canada, the United States, the UK, Germany, the Netherlands, and Japan.     For more see: wholebodyfocusing.com  Wholebody Focusing Wholebody Focusing is a very natural process that invites the power of human consciousness to awaken the body’s innate wisdom, a knowing that is at the heart of every one of us.   Being physically grounded and connected to something beyond ourselves seems to offer the safety and containment we need to deepen that experience of ourselves that Focusing invites. [caption id="attachment_485" align="alignnone" width="960"] Kevin McEvenue[/caption]   LISTEN ON STITCHER SUBSCRIBE IN ITUNES LEARN FOCUSING TAKE A LEVEL ONE FOCUSING CLASS LISTEN TO RADICAL GENTLENESS

Cultivating the Inner Relationship- PART II Today on The Focusing Way Podcast our guest is Barbara McGavin co creator of a style of focusing that has come to be known as Inner Relationship Focusing. Our conversation focuses on the inner relationship, focusing partnership and the origins of inner relationship focusing. Barbara brings a warm style and deep understanding to this thoughtful interview. Barbara specializes in using Inner Relationship Focusing with emotional overwhelm, self-criticism and creativity. Barbara McGavin’s greatest joy is exploring the frontiers of the Focusing process – what it is and how it can be applied in daily life. Since 1991, she has been developing Inner Relationship Focusing with Ann Weiser Cornell. Since 1994, the two of them have been exploring Focusing in some of the most difficult areas of life. Deep listening and Inner Relationship listening Treasure Maps to the Soul has grown out of this and is the core of Barbara’s own Focusing practice. Barbara’s other great interest is in how Focusing can be used in the creative arts. She has developed a process called From Spark to Beacon to help people develop and release their creative capacities. Barbara has been practicing Focusing since 1983. In the ‘80s, she helped found The British Focusing Network (BFN) and The British Focusing Teachers’ Association (BFTA). She is a Certifying Coordinator for the Focusing Institute as well as an Accrediting Mentor for the British Focusing Teachers’ Association. Her background is in humanistic psychology, teaching, fine art, and graphic design.   [caption id="attachment_527" align="alignnone" width="379"] Barbara McGavin[/caption] LISTEN ON STITCHER SUBSCRIBE IN ITUNES LEARN FOCUSING TAKE A LEVEL ONE FOCUSING CLASS LISTEN TO RADICAL GENTLENESS

Do not Quit just yet. Open!

Have you ever been there?  You know.  That place where you just want to quit.  Maybe it's your job?  Maybe it's the relationship you are in? Maybe it's school, the book club, whatever.  We have all probably hit that point where the pressure of a situation becomes unbearable, when it seems there are few solutions  or when it seems the only solution is to quit. What has focusing taught me about these moments and how can focusing help you in these moments? Well, what I have come to learn is that this is a great moment.  The moment of wanting to quit hits everyone and quitting is sometimes the very best choice given the situation.  As I have sat with this question in a focusing way in my own life, an interesting answer came to me and I want to share it with you. I won't take you through the whole session but I finally arrived at a point where the message became very clear and what I was being shown is that this moment was a great opportunity to open.  Maybe it was a bit clearer than that even.  What was coming for me was the idea that this was exactly the time I should be more open, that this was a time that I should maybe use the opportunity as a chance to turn toward things from a different perspective to allow my thinking around the situation to open. It was letting me know that I could see this whole situation around quitting as a chance to explore something else. Really what it was giving me was a chance to be open about a situation rather than be closed, which is the way I was perceiving the quitting, as a way to close a situation, walk away from it or end it and not fully engaging in the possibilities it quittin was presenting.  Quitting can be quite final, in this case it was a starting point. Quitting might be the point at which people turn back after a long journey, or really maybe it's like a door that is ready to be opened.  And sometimes we quit when we have arrived at the doorstep and then quitting rears it's ugly head.

By now some of you might ask; but what if I want to quit something?

Is that OK? Of course that is ok Let's take smoking as an example.  That might be a thing where you do want to quit or stop. And you do, you stop, you quit and it's hard.  I should know, way back I used to smoke and when I smoked I liked it but something was really letting me know it was time to quit. So I did, many, many, many times.  In my case, I kept getting to the point where I wanted to quit, "quitting smoking" and I would smoke again. Do you see where I am going with this?  I kept arrving at a new quitting moment.  That moment was the moment I wanted to quit and give up, I was quitting NON-smoking!  And I kept on quitting and giving in to that feeling of wanting to smoke and instead of getting over the hump and BEING OPEN, I would fall back into smoking and a new cycle of wanting to quit smoking. Looking at that situation now.  I was being open enough to the idea of quitting smoking, actually getting to the point of doing it and then giving in to it, or quitting being a non-smoker. Now I know there is a lot of chemical stuff going on with this kind of addiction and that is a physical thing that Focusing would have probably helped a lot with at the time as well.

I didn't know focusing then and I finally quit with the help of hypnosis.

I have never smoked since. So, it's interesting to be at these points of quitting and they are usually driven by a deep wanting that is WAY beyond wanting to quit the particular thing and that is why I encourage you to learn focusing, because the next time you come up to one of these quitting moments, you might find that it is a great chance to open up, to see what else is there for you, to get in touch with the things that might be lurking just underneath or way beneath the surface that might be a key to understanding what drives all of this.  You might just find that thing within you that takes you on a different path, or better yet you might discover something that was helpful and hidden that you never knew. You might go through the process and find that quitting is the absolute right thing and obviously that is OK too. The important thing is the process and allowing it to play out from within you. Quitting can be a jumping off point to stay the course or to move on, but if you make that decision in a focusing way, then you are sure to make it from a place in you that is right for you in that moment, leading you to what is next. LISTEN ON STITCHER SUBSCRIBE IN ITUNES LEARN FOCUSING TAKE A LEVEL ONE FOCUSING CLASS LISTEN TO RADICAL GENTLENESS  

Download to listen later   THE POWER OF ACTIVE LISTENING IN THE FOCUSING PARTNERSHIP David Battistella The importance of focusing partnership reads like a list of cliches but they are all absolutely essential and valid. The partnership is based on trust, understanding, knowledge, respect and commitment. These are the same foundations the guide and client relationship are based on. One could easily include these things inside the general umbrella of focusing values as well. These are, of course,  the qualities we want to bring to focusing partnership. The focusing partnership is a subtle and non judgemental commitment. The commitment is not only to be other focused, but also a sort of commitment one makes to oneself. A commitment to look inside, to be present, to listen and to hold space for things within you or for your focusing partner. Obviously there is a commitment to set and respect times, and to be a participant in the sessions. It is important to respect the appointed times and give proper notice if those times can not be respected. In focusing in general much is made of the role of the focuser and how essential it is to honor and respect the focusing space and to in some way assist, even in absolute silence, the focusing process. These are all correct and essential tools one brings to the focusing process, but it is the role of the listener that can deepen and empower the process further. Listening, or a process I call "active listening", to be a bit more precise is a crucial skill to refine and hone while in focusing partnership. When combined with reflecting words back to the focuser it makes for a powerful process. Developing tremendous focusing skill involves developing this skill I call “active listening”. I would describe this as “active focusing” as well. Self in presence while in the role of the listener is an essential component but active listening will make anyones process a richer and deeper experience. What do I mean? Well, the better we become at listening and active listening along with holding space, while we are engaged in the focusing process as the listener, the better a focuser we can become. This is accomplished through applying the very principles of our active listening skills during our own focusing process. As we become great partners and great listeners for other people, so too must we apply this way of being to our own parts and our own focusing process. In our, self in presence listening process, we become greater listeners to our own internal stirrings.  To some people this may come very naturally, but some might also be missing fantastic opportunities for growth by refining their listening skills while actively engaged in the role of the listener. In focusing partnership we take turns to be the focuser, but this also means we take turns being the listener. This can sometimes be overlooked and people can look at their time as the listener as a “chance to relax a bit” and sit back and support the focuser in their process in the way the focuser has decided. What can one do to enhance their own focusing skills during a listening process? There are things a listener can do to become better listeners? Here are some things you might want to try to enhance and deepen the way you active listen. Listen for the focusers rhythm. This means getting a true sense of their voice and understanding where it is coming from in their body. Is their voice in the throat, the chest, the belly? Where is that physical voice coming from? Is it high, low, hidden, scared, quiet, evasive, full, welcoming? The answer may help you better understand the kind of process a focuser is in. Listen for the breaths. Is the focuser breathing at a regulated pace? Are they holding their breath? does their breathing seem deep or shallow? Can you hear feel or listen for shifts in the focusers process through the breath or their breathing. Pay attention to the silences What is happening in the silences? It is important to distinguish between “active silence” and “drifting silence”, active silence is when you can sense there might be something more and so you might hold off a reflection for an extra second or two for that thing to materialize. Drifting silence might be when you sense a drifting away quality to their connection and the reflection can be used to gently bring the focuser back to their process or a place where they were prior to the “drift” or drifting away. Either way it is important not only to listen, but to feel for these moments and also check with your self to assess them correctly. As listeners we want to enhance process and often that can be doing as little as possible. Of course we always need to be in tune with the focuser and in focusing partnership we can refine that frequency over a period of months or years. One of my current focusing partnership has been going on without interruption for five years, still I approach every hour we set aside for focusing or listening with the same care and gentleness I have from the onset and I have sought to deepen and enhance these skills. Focusing partnership is important for the working professional as well. The partnership allows a working professional to set aside deliberate and non paid focusing to further develop their focusing skills and also to have a focusing time set aside for things which might arise in their practice from time to time. Knowing that there is an ongoing support system in the form of focusing partnership gives the focuser and working professional a support system and continuity. The partnership and particularly the role of the listener is rich, precious space which should be honoured and maintained using the focusing values described I described earlier. Be open, listen deeply, respect and honor process and more importantly the human being in front of you.   LISTEN ON STITCHER SUBSCRIBE IN ITUNES LEARN FOCUSING TAKE A LEVEL ONE FOCUSING CLASS LISTEN TO RADICAL GENTLENESS

Early days of Focusing with Ann Weiser Cornell

In the early days of Focusing, Ann Weiser Cornell was getting her PhD in Linguistics at the University of Chicago when she met and studied with Eugene Gendlin, the originator of Focusing, starting in 1972. Learning Focusing with him has led to a lifelong process of discovery and personal development. In 1980, Eugene Gendlin invited Ann to assist with his Focusing workshops. This started her on a path to become a Focusing teacher, and in 1990, Ann became the first person to support herself full-time as a Focusing teacher.

Today Ann is internationally recognized as one of the early innovators of Focusing.

She has taught Focusing in eighteen countries, and her Focusing books and manuals have been translated into seven other languages (Dari, Dutch, German, Hebrew, Italian, Japanese, and Spanish). Ann is well-known in the Focusing world for her attention to the language that facilitates Focusing, her popular manuals, and her co-creation with Barbara McGavin of Treasure Maps to the Soul, a body of work applying Focusing to difficult areas such as addiction, depression, action blocks, self-criticism, and unfulfilled desire. She is the author of two books on Focusing: her bestseller The Power of Focusing, and The Radical Acceptance of Everything. Ann’s newest book on Focusing-oriented therapy is, Focusing in Clinical Practice: The Essence of Change. Ann is authorized by the Focusing Institute in New York to offer the Institute’s certification as Focusing Trainer. Join us for part one of our in-depth conversation with Ann where she shares knowledge, insights and stories about her lifelong focusing journey.   .       LISTEN ON STITCHER SUBSCRIBE IN ITUNES LEARN FOCUSING TAKE A LEVEL ONE FOCUSING CLASS LISTEN TO RADICAL GENTLENESS  

Ann Weiser Cornell on "Parts" PART II

Recognizing parts and better understanding addiction.  In part two of our conversation with Ann Weiser Cornell, Ann shares in depth her own process with dealing with her own addiction.  Listen in as Ann shares intimate details of working through her process of working with parts and transforming this new understanding into inner relationship focusing teaching work. In the early days of Focusing, Ann Weiser Cornell was getting her PhD in Linguistics at the University of Chicago when she met and studied with Eugene Gendlin, the originator of Focusing, starting in 1972. Learning Focusing with him has led to a lifelong process of discovery and personal development. In 1980, Eugene Gendlin invited Ann to assist with his Focusing workshops. This started her on a path to become a Focusing teacher, and in 1990, Ann became the first person to support herself full-time as a Focusing teacher.

Ann is internationally recognized as one of the early innovators of Focusing.

She has taught Focusing in eighteen countries, and her Focusing books and manuals have been translated into seven other languages (Dari, Dutch, German, Hebrew, Italian, Japanese, and Spanish). Ann is well-known in the Focusing world for her attention to the language that facilitates Focusing, her popular manuals, and her co-creation with Barbara McGavin of Treasure Maps to the Soul, a body of work applying Focusing to difficult areas such as addiction, depression, action blocks, self-criticism, and unfulfilled desire. She is the author of two books on Focusing: her bestseller The Power of Focusing, and The Radical Acceptance of Everything. Ann’s newest book on Focusing-oriented therapy is, Focusing in Clinical Practice: The Essence of Change. Ann is authorized by the Focusing Institute in New York to offer the Institute’s certification as Focusing Trainer. Join us for part one of our in-depth conversation with Ann where she shares knowledge, insights and stories about her lifelong focusing journey.   .       LISTEN ON STITCHER SUBSCRIBE IN ITUNES LEARN FOCUSING TAKE A LEVEL ONE FOCUSING CLASS LISTEN TO RADICAL GENTLENESS  

TFW Podcast 020: Catherine Torpey - Executive Director, The Focusing Institute

In this episode our focusing oriented conversation we get caught up with the happenings at The Focusing Institute. Catherine Torpey is the Executive Director of The International Focusing Institute, with headquarters in Nyack, New York. She came to the Institute two years ago, when it began its transition from having been led by its founder, Eugene Gendlin and his wife, Mary Hendricks. The Institute is an international, cross-cultural organization dedicated to supporting individuals and groups world-wide who are teaching and developing Felt Sense Focusing and its underlying philosophy. Catherine has been a practitioner of Focusing for twenty years, and is also an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister.  

About the Focusing Institute - Resources

WEBSITE The Focusing Institute offers many resources, including well-developed instructions for accessing this bodily knowing. Please explore our site, where you'll find workshops, first steps for newcomers, a library and more. You are also welcome to contact us with questions. Focusing is supported by a long series of operational research studies conducted first by Gene Gendlin and colleagues at the University of Chicago and now internationally. You may be able to learn Focusing by reading the Focusing book, or working with one of more than 1000 certified Focusing trainers from 40 countries who are available on Skype or telephone for one or several hours of Focusing training. From our list you can also find a Focusing-oriented therapistwho lives near you and speaks your language. You can also participate in one of our discussion lists, find a Focusing partner, and more. The Focusing Institute is making differences in communities all over the world. “Focusing” is to enter into a special kind of awareness, different from our every day awareness. It is open, turned inward, centered on the present and on your body’s inner sensations. When doing Focusing, you silently ask, “How am I now?”   LISTEN ON STITCHER SUBSCRIBE IN ITUNES LEARN FOCUSING TAKE A LEVEL ONE FOCUSING CLASS LISTEN TO RADICAL GENTLENESS  

TFW Podcast 021: Catherine Torpey - Focusing and Faith

In this episode our focusing oriented conversation we touch on the topic of Focusing and Faith. Catherine Torpey is the Executive Director of The International Focusing Institute, with headquarters in Nyack, New York. She came to the Institute two years ago, when it began its transition from having been led by its founder, Eugene Gendlin and his wife, Mary Hendricks. The Institute is an international, cross-cultural organization dedicated to supporting individuals and groups world-wide who are teaching and developing Felt Sense Focusing and its underlying philosophy. Catherine has been a practitioner of Focusing for twenty years, and is also an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister.  

About the Focusing Institute - Resources

WEBSITE The Focusing Institute offers many resources, including well-developed instructions for accessing this bodily knowing. Please explore our site, where you'll find workshops, first steps for newcomers, a library and more. You are also welcome to contact us with questions. Focusing is supported by a long series of operational research studies conducted first by Gene Gendlin and colleagues at the University of Chicago and now internationally. You may be able to learn Focusing by reading the Focusing book, or working with one of more than 1000 certified Focusing trainers from 40 countries who are available on Skype or telephone for one or several hours of Focusing training. From our list you can also find a Focusing-oriented therapistwho lives near you and speaks your language. You can also participate in one of our discussion lists, find a Focusing partner, and more. The Focusing Institute is making differences in communities all over the world. “Focusing” is to enter into a special kind of awareness, different from our every day awareness. It is open, turned inward, centered on the present and on your body’s inner sensations. When doing Focusing, you silently ask, “How am I now?”   LISTEN ON STITCHER SUBSCRIBE IN ITUNES LEARN FOCUSING TAKE A LEVEL ONE FOCUSING CLASS LISTEN TO RADICAL GENTLENESS  

TFW Podcast 021: Catherine Torpey - Focusing and Faith

In this episode our focusing oriented conversation we touch on the topic of Focusing and Faith. Catherine Torpey is the Executive Director of The International Focusing Institute, with headquarters in Nyack, New York. She came to the Institute two years ago, when it began its transition from having been led by its founder, Eugene Gendlin and his wife, Mary Hendricks. The Institute is an international, cross-cultural organization dedicated to supporting individuals and groups world-wide who are teaching and developing Felt Sense Focusing and its underlying philosophy. Catherine has been a practitioner of Focusing for twenty years, and is also an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister.  

About the Focusing Institute - Resources

WEBSITE The Focusing Institute offers many resources, including well-developed instructions for accessing this bodily knowing. Please explore our site, where you'll find workshops, first steps for newcomers, a library and more. You are also welcome to contact us with questions. Focusing is supported by a long series of operational research studies conducted first by Gene Gendlin and colleagues at the University of Chicago and now internationally. You may be able to learn Focusing by reading the Focusing book, or working with one of more than 1000 certified Focusing trainers from 40 countries who are available on Skype or telephone for one or several hours of Focusing training. From our list you can also find a Focusing-oriented therapistwho lives near you and speaks your language. You can also participate in one of our discussion lists, find a Focusing partner, and more. The Focusing Institute is making differences in communities all over the world. “Focusing” is to enter into a special kind of awareness, different from our every day awareness. It is open, turned inward, centered on the present and on your body’s inner sensations. When doing Focusing, you silently ask, “How am I now?”   LISTEN ON STITCHER SUBSCRIBE IN ITUNES LEARN FOCUSING TAKE A LEVEL ONE FOCUSING CLASS LISTEN TO RADICAL GENTLENESS