The Whole Pineapple

NOTE: Yes, Roaring Adventures is focused on helping first responders and active military find funding to support fertility journeys. For you "Too Long/Didn't Read (TL/DR)" people, even if you're NOT either of those, keep listening! There is a lot of great information here about resources for anyone needing help with infertility treatment.

In order to qualify for Roaring Adventures, you need to meet a few criteria: one partner should be diagnosed with infertility. You should also be a firefighter, nurse, paramedic/EMT, EMS, law enforcement (police officer), or a 911 dispatcher. Be sure to listen to the full episode for a detailed rundown of who qualifies.

Roaring Adventures knows how challenging it can be to fund fertility treatments. So in this discussion with Ruby and Anne, Mollie offers some very sound tips for anyone. Rule number one — be cautious sharing a lot of personal information and paying a fee when you apply for a family grant. Make sure the organization you're approaching is legitimate.

Here are a few questions that might indicate red flags:

• Is the application fee fair and reasonable?
• Is the org a genuine 501(c)(3)?
• Have they had actual recipients in the past?
• Are they working with respected doctors, clinics, etc.?
• Can they answer your questions about their processes?

A "no" answer to any of these questions might mean you should keep looking or for sure delve a little deeper.

So, let's say you qualify for a grant — how do you apply? Roaring Adventures' grant is open to submissions once a quarter. You'll find an application and a list of FAQs on their website, www.roaringadventures.org.

You're a soldier, a firefighter, an EMT, a 911 dispatcher, a nurse, a cop; you're used to taking control and getting things done, even in enormously stressful situations. So where do you turn if your own body just won't "follow orders"?

Mollie Huyck is the Founder and President of Roaring Adventures, a non-profit organization supporting first responders and active duty military members who need help building their families.

Seven long years and nine devastating losses before finally having a daughter inspired Mollie to help military and first responders with family building. Why this population in particular? First, her daughter's story includes ties to the military, and second, this population tends to suffer infertility at higher rates than civilians. And often fertility treatments — even for our military and first responders — are not covered (or fully covered) by insurance.

We all know stress can impact fertility in many ways. Can you think of many professions MORE stressful on a daily basis than the ones listed at the top of these notes? Their professions can also expose them to toxic substances. How do we serve those who protect and serve in such critical ways?

Roaring Adventures supports these folks in their fertility journeys by helping them access financial resources through family building grants. But it's not just financial assistance, it's also education, support, and other services. Roaring Adventures supports many family building channels, including medical treatment and adoption services.

PS Just wait until you hear the origin story of the company name….

More about Mollie:

Mollie is also co-founder of My Fertility Health, Inc. Her company created Navie, a comprehensive software platform designed to provide tools and support to those navigating their reproductive health. Her book I Became Your Mama was created as a resource for parents to share their personal stories with their children.

Mollie is an advocate for family building causes in Oregon and across the United States.

Find out more about Mollie and her organization at Roaring Adventures: www.roaringadventures.org.

Learn more about Navie at navieapp.com. And as always, find more episodes from Ruby and Anne at thewholepineapple.com.

Just relax: Jamie's back!

OK, no one ever relaxed because someone told them to. In fact, being told to calm down or relax may be one of the most blood-pressure-elevating things that can happen to us.

How do you feel when fertility issues come up at work? Someone puts a baby photo on their desk, a colleague is pregnant, invitations to a baby shower or to contribute to a baby gift float around — these can be hurtful for those dealing with fertility challenges, but asking someone to put their baby photos away or refusing to participate in a celebration are often just not an option.

And often those who don't understand the issue may think saying "just relax" or "just ignore it" is a "solution." (Spoiler: It's not.)

In this episode, Anne and Jamie take on how to have (or avoid) awkward, super-personal conversations at work and how NOT to carry those conversations home with you.

Bonus: if someone consistently asks inappropriate questions, share this episode with them as a gentle way to open the conversation.

These situations can be so specific to the people involved and the climate at work, so we'd love to hear how YOU handle awkward moments like this at work or after it. Do you ask, "Why do you ask?" when someone asks you why you don't have kids yet? Do you come up with a cover story to avoid revealing more than you want to (and have you ever been caught out)?

Share with us on Instagram @thewholepineapplepod or email us at [email protected] and let us know if we can share your story!

Find more wisdom from Anne and Jamie at thewholepineapple.com!

Article: My Co-Worker's Baby Photo Gallery Put Me Over the Edge

Kay-gulls? Kee-gulls? How do you pronounce it, and are they the end-all-be-all solution to pelvic floor issues?

Yeah, not so much. Kegels can help, for sure, but as Dr. Abby Dunning says in this snack, "there's a time and a place for them."

So what can you do to get "better functional coordination" in the very complicated network that is the pelvic floor? Well, first, it's important to know what you're working with, says Abby. (NOTE: The best way to do this is work with a PT so you learn all the things correctly!) But one way to start is to pay attention to your breathing. Where is the expansion and contraction happening?

The pelvic floor needs to move, not just grip and contract, which is why Kegels or vaginal trainers alone aren't really enough. Crunches don't really do all the things either, and doing a ton of them can actually be more of a problem than a solution.

To learn more about how the pelvic floor works and get some info on how you can correctly engage it in exercise, have a listen, then find a pelvic practitioner near you (see resources below!). And as always, share the wealth (of information) by rating, reviewing, and sharing The Whole Pineapple podcast! (thewholepineapple.com).

Resources:

APTA Find a PT near you

Pelvic Rehab: Find a pelvic rehab practitioner near you

Pelvic Rehab Blog

Pelvic Floor Therapy: What to Expect

Top 5 Pelvic Floor Exercises with Dr. Kristie Ennis

Yoga For Pelvic Floor - Yoga With Adriene

With a fertility expert and a pelvic floor expert in the same family, one can only imagine the discussions over the dinner table at family reunions….

But fortunately, in this episode, Ruby, Anne, and guest Dr. Abby Dunning are letting us have a little listen-in. And please do listen in, because this is a VERY important conversation for anyone with a pelvic floor. (Hint: that's ALL of us – even those who weren't born with a uterus.)

Dr. Abby Dunning is a Doctor of Physical Therapy from Ruby's own home state of Montana. She received her bachelor's degree at Carroll College and her doctorate degree at the University of Montana. She specializes in treating pelvic pain conditions, pelvic organ prolapse, bowel and bladder dysfunction, orthopedic conditions of the pelvis, hip, and spine; as well as specific concerns unique to pregnant and/or postpartum individuals and the pediatric population.

The pelvic floor supports a whole lot of important organs and functions, and yet most of us really need to learn how to keep this part of the body strong and healthy. Of course pregnancy involves the pelvic floor, but it's also critical to waste retention and release, orgasm, core strength, posture, breathing, and more, so it's pretty important to know how to exercise it and treat it well.

As with all complicated things, there are ways things can go pretty wrong: pelvic pain, incontinence, prolapse. That pain may be associated with penetrative intercourse, but it can also occur at other times or just exist as a lingering, consistent discomfort. And for many people, having pelvic exams is uncomfortable enough for so many reasons, including past physical or emotional trauma, so the idea of seeing a physical therapist for treatment seems impossible. Which is why it's important to find a PT you connect with and trust.

Many people believe that pelvic floor issues are limited to people who have had multiple pregnancies, but that's just not true. Everyone can benefit from being in tune with that part of their body and checking with a PT for the right way to keep the pelvic floor healthy (hint: not just Kegels, and NOT CRUNCHES).

Find out more about Dr. Dunning at Lone Peak Physical Therapy lonepeakpt.com - Dr. Abby Dunning and about our own Anne and Ruby at thewholepineapple.com. And as always, please rate, review, and share the episode so others can find The Whole Pineapple podcast!

Resources:

APTA Find a PT near you

Pelvic Rehab: Find a pelvic rehab practitioner near you

Pelvic Rehab Blog

Pelvic Floor Therapy: What to Expect

Top 5 Pelvic Floor Exercises with Dr. Kristie Ennis

Yoga For Pelvic Floor - Yoga With Adriene

Secondary infertility is, as Anne says, a "unique subset of the journey." What is it like to have a child and then experience difficulty conceiving or carrying subsequent pregnancies?

In this special episode, a Whole Pineapple listener shares her journey and struggles through secondary infertility.

There are lots of special concerns in this situation: when you have a first, people don't worry about asking when you're going to have another the way they might hesitate to ask about a first. There's guilt about potentially having a "lonely only." And what about as parents age, is it "wrong" to leave all the responsibility of caretaking on one child?

As Anne, Ruby, and Amy tell us, healthy families can take a whole lot of different shapes and come in many different sizes. If you're worried about the concerns above, there are ways to prepare: have a response or exit plan in place for insensitive questions, find ways to involve your kiddo in peer-group activities, plan and save for your own aging as best you can.

Hear more about Amy's challenges in finding a support group for secondary infertility, dealing with insurance demands, working through the pressure this can place on relationships, and navigating the well-intended but painful questions from friends and family.

If you or someone you care about is experiencing a secondary infertility journey, please share this episode. This particular challenge can be terribly isolating, and we always want people to know they're absolutely not alone.

Find out more and hear more episodes at thewholepineapple.com.

When you've tried ALL THE THINGS to get pregnant, what's left to do but make a rap about it?

It's a bit of an unconventional snack, but then, many of the things Meirav Zur has tried are pretty "out there" as well. Reflexology? Peeled almonds? Toe magnets? Mantras? And what the hell is a fertility "magician"?

In this episode, Meirav refers to "Fertility OCD" – an obsession with making sure you do everything and do all the things exactly right, coupled with the consciousness that the clock is ticking – and how it can rule your life. And as Anne says, seeing others getting pregnant "easily" can be extremely isolating.

Of course, as you're juggling all these things, feeling the pressure of time and expectation, watching test after test come up negative and holding onto hope with the tiny tippy top of your fingers, someone will undoubtedly barge into your life and tell you to "RELAX."

Sigh.

Humor is a coping strategy for many, and you are "allowed" to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. And on those days when it really just isn't funny, you're allowed to feel that too and to ask others to respect those feelings.

If this is one of those OK-to-laugh days, be sure to check out Meirav Zur on her website: meiravzur.com. And as always, find out more about Ruby and Anne on their website, thewholepineapple.com.

If you enjoyed the episode, please rate, review, and share to help others find us!

"Infertility" and "Humor" don't really seem like they go together, at least not if you're going through fertility struggles or care about someone who is. But in this episode, Ruby and Anne and their guest Meirav Zur take us on a tour of the absurd side of fertility and fertility treatment.

Meirav Zur is an actor, producer, writer, and humorist who has dealt with unexplained infertility. As someone who communicates for a living, she was surprised to find herself so unable and unwilling to talk about the situation she was in.

When she was finally ready and able to share, her friends encouraged her to turn her experience into a show. A year later, she shared her personal, private, impossible-to-talk-about experience with a room full of strangers with Inconceivable: The Totally True One-Woman Semi-Fertile Quasi-"Musical."

Like many others have said on this podcast, fertility challenges are just too hard to talk about. The feelings of shame and embarrassment that haunt couples mean that we don't talk about it even with our closest friends and family, leaving people to struggle alone.

But that has to change, and sharing shows like Inconceivable can be a way of breaking the ice and normalizing what is, after all, a very common experience. (Hint: sharing this podcast works too…)

Check out Meirav Zur and see excerpts from shows on her website, meiravzur.com. And get more Pineapple episodes from Ruby and Anne at thewholepineapple.com. Please rate, review, and share, and help more folks join the conversation here at The Whole Pineapple.

Should fertility be a sub-plot?

The prefix "sub" is already a bit problematic, since those going through it often feel it's THE CENTRAL PLOT right now, but that aside, how should we deal with fertility in fiction?

Well, say our hosts, if writers are going to take on the topic, they really could at least (a) handle it sensitively, and (b) do their research.

In this snack, Ruby and Anne look at several examples of fertility "tropes" that show up again and again in drama, and we reckon a lot of them will feel familiar to you. From Phoebe, who could never be a gestational carrier (or "GC") because she's never been pregnant, to "How I Met Your Mother" where Robin has a good life despite never having children, shows run the gamut from insultingly silly to admirably accurate.

Trope #1: if characters want to get pregnant in fiction, they'll have all kinds of problems. If characters don't want to get pregnant, and use eight kinds of birth control, *bingo.* These shows are rife with inaccuracies about human biology and the science of fertility treatments, and for those dealing with fertility journeys of their own, it can be infuriating and painful. (Seriously? Miranda with her uterine issues and her boyfriend with ONE TESTICLE? SERIOUSLY?)

If you're just not ready to be confronted with fertility issues in your media (whether it's accurately represented or not), check out the Infertility Safe Media Database, linked below. The site tells you which books, movies, etc. deal with infertility. Your peace of mind matters, so give yourself the grace to skip this month's Book Choice with your book club or pass on an invitation to a film that might mean risking crying in the theater.

And, as always, check https://thewholepineapple for more episodes and information on our awesome hosts, Ruby and Anne. And don't forget to rate, review, and share to help others find the podcast!

Resources:

TVTropes.og Law of Inverse Fertility Article

Clip - Finding Out I'm Infertile - Hasan Minhaj's Netflix Comedy The King's Jester

Slate Article by Noreen Malone The Fertility Plot is the New Marriage Plot

Infertility Safe Media Database

Infertility on TV: Part 1 - Chasing Creation

What does famine data teach us about epigenetics? (Note: Anne and Ruby are not "pro-famine" — they just provide some fascinating and useful information!) What about twins? And how did bees get in there? We're on a total science-nerd learning path today, and it's great fun.

Our environment can turn genes off and on, so it's not "nature vs nurture," it's "nature AND nurture." How genes and our environment work together or at odds has real impact not just on our individual health but potentially on our offspring and theirs!

Why are famines, devastating as they are, useful for study? Because while the stress and nutritional deficits profoundly affect those suffering, they can also cause cascading epigenetic effects that continue or appear generations later.

Which brings us to now and what we can learn: One, what you eat now may matter 100 years from now, even if you're no longer around, so maybe sideline the sugar and processed stuff for occasional consumption? And two, issues you're experiencing now may be at least partly caused by what your great-grandmother ate and the environment she lived in.

This is such a fascinating conversation and it sheds light on struggles of mental health, weight, fertility, disease, and more. We hope you'll take a look at the resources included below for more information. And as always, we encourage you to share this episode with anyone you believe could benefit.

Find more about Ruby and Anne and The Whole Pineapple at https://thewholepineapple.com/!

Dutch Famine info from Nature Epigenetics: Tales of adversity | Nature

NYT article about it, showing differences in methyalation with samples taken 70 years after

The Famine Ended 70 Years Ago, but Dutch Genes Still Bear Scars - The New York Times (nytimes.com)

True scientific article

Prenatal famine exposure and adult health outcomes: an epigenetic link | Environmental Epigenetics | Oxford Academic (oup.com)

And the citation for it: Prenatal famine exposure and adult health outcomes: an epigenetic link - PubMed (nih.gov)

Irish potato famine and growth of the asylum system, was increase in schizophrenia (in the high risk age ranges right timeline post famine) to blame?

Irish Potato Famine: Date, Cause & Great Hunger - HISTORY - HISTORY

The Great Irish Famine (1845-52) and the Irish asylum system: remembering, forgetting, and remembering again - PubMed (nih.gov)

Did the Great Irish Famine increase schizophrenia? - PubMed (nih.gov)

What it takes to make a queen bee

New York Times Dutch Famine Article: NYT article

Longevity Article on The Great Hunger https://vocal.media/longevity/the-irish-potato-famine-and-epigenetics

The China Study:

https://nutritionstudies.org/the-china-study/

Goodreads page: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/178788.The_China_Study

Amazon: https://a.co/d/aV7zA1p

Nurses Health Study

American Journal of Public Health article