The Widening Your Aperture Podcast

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Bio:

Rachel has 17+ years of experience leading, developing, and coaching global teams in Fortune 500 companies. Her expertise is in learning and development, where she has designed, developed, and launched multiple billion-dollar brands and trained teams who have negotiated multiple billion-dollar contracts. Rachel's favorite accomplishment was creating multiple leadership capabilities academies focused on the holistic development of individuals and leaders. 

In 2020, Rachel took the biggest leap of faith and started my coaching/consulting business, Realize You Coaching. Rachel has had the opportunity to coach thousands of people on the power of creating awareness, connecting within, and finding the confidence to overcome fear and self-doubt to amplify their impact personally and professionally. 

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Hi friends, welcome to this weeks solo episode! In today’s episode, I am going to share the four big energy blocks that commonly hold us back from exploring possibilities, taking action and achieving success. The four energy blocks are rooted in our past experiences. They are: limiting beliefs, interpretations, assumptions, and gremlins. They create what is called catabolic energy within us. Catabolic energy can be defined as resistance. It is a draining, destructive energy. This type of energy releases excessive stress hormones, such as cortisol and adrenaline, which actually eat away at our very cells. The opposite of catabolic energy is anabolic energy. It is a constructive, building and healing energy. This type of energy releases “feel-good” anabolic hormones, such as endorphins and dopamine into the body. Let’s take a deeper look at each of the big 4 energy blocks

The first block is limiting beliefs. These are generalizations, stereotypes, or ideas that you learned or accepted about yourself, about the world or about other people that limit you in some way. Examples of this might sound like: ‘you have to work hard to make money.’ ‘It’s better for the children to stay married’, ‘I have to have connections to be successful’, or ‘I can’t get anywhere on my own merits’. To remove these blocks, you have to challenge them. Some questions that you can ask yourself to do this are:

Where did I learn this belief?

What evidence do I have to support this belief? This question addresses confirmation bias, a phrase coined by English psychologist Peter Wason, it is the tendency of people to favor information that confirms or strengthens their beliefs or values and is difficult to dislodge once affirmed.

How would life be different if I believed something else?

How true is this belief for me, really? How true is it in my life today?

What might be possible if I were able to shift this belief to one that is more empowering?

How is this limiting me or holding me back?

What would someone with the complete opposite belief say or do?

Here’s a principal to keep in mind as you work with limiting beliefs: ‘I understand that truth does not exist by consensus. I am always challenging what everyone including me believes is true. A great quote around this comes from Kurt Carlson “obstacles are those frightening things you see when you take your eye off the target.”

The next block we will look at is interpretations. These are the stories, opinions, or judgment, that you have created about an event, situation, person or experience, and believe it to be true. Interpretations arise because we see only what we focus on. Everything is just a ‘thing’ until we apply meaning to it. Never believe someone else’s interpretation or your own, if it is holding you back! Know the “filter” you are looking through, it is based on your beliefs, values and experiences. When we are experiencing catabolic energy we see less because the filter is causing a narrow aperture which limits our field of view. However, when we are experiencing anabolic energy we change the filter and widen the aperture so we are able to see more of the truth all around us. To remove this block, begin by realizing that there are other ways to look at nearly everything. This lessons the power of an interpretation. Some questions that you can ask yourself to do this are: 

What’s another way to look at the event, situation, person or experience?

How do you know that your interpretation is true?

What else might be going on?

What might be the completely opposite point of view about the event, situation, person, or experience?

What might be some other possible interpretations regarding the event, situation, person or experience?

What would someone else, (for example: your spouse or a friend) say about what happened?

Your interpretation may be right, but there are 100 different ways to see something. What’s another possibility here?

Give five other possibilities of how one could look at the event, situation, person or experience. Now, which one are you going to choose? Choose the belief that supports you!

Many times triggers come up when we are dealing with interpretations. A trigger is when someone does something that elicits a catabolic reaction by causing strong emotions to arise. To reduce the effects of triggers, you must start by bringing awareness around what the trigger is so that you can break the reactive pattern and choose how to respond rather than reacting unconsciously. When you’re in a situation and being triggered here are six steps to help you work with it in the moment:

1. Stop.

2. Breathe.

3. Ask yourself ‘how emotionally reactive am I to this situation?’.

4. What might be the trigger? (This is the interpretation that caused you to be upset.)

5. Ask yourself 'what is really going on here?’.

6. Once you have the space to do so, ask yourself ‘if this situation comes up again how will I handle it?’.

Some other questions that you can ask to dig deeper into where the trigger came from our:

When this happens, what do I take it to mean about me? What is the interpretation I’m making that causes me to react this way?

What is another possible interpretation?

After you have listed out a couple of options, ask yourself ‘on one hand I said it was (1st interpretation), on the other hand, I said it’s possibly (different interpretation), so which one is it?

Given the different ways of seeing the event, situation, person or experience how will I choose to view it and respond now or next time?

What toll is this taking on me? How is this impacting me?

Here’s a principal to keep in mind as you work with interpretations:, The world is a perceptual illusion. The world we experience is a creation of our perceptions. We simply attract, and then see what it is we expect to see. We create our world through our interpretations of “reality”. To create a more enjoyable life experience, one can focus on discovering natural inner peace and joy, rather than attempting to control outer events and circumstances to achieve that. A great quote around this is “We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.” - Anais Nin

The third block is assumptions. This is an expectation that because something has happened in the past it will happen again. These blocks are more emotionally charged than interpretations because we have experienced them firsthand. Some examples of this might sound like:

‘I can’t have a conversation about childcare with my partner because the last time I tried, it caused a big fight.'

‘I can’t quit because my last diet failed.’

‘Launching this product during the holiday season is a bad idea because our last holiday launch didn’t meet our target.’

To remove this block you need to recognize the assumption for what it is. Then you question it, consciously choose to let it go, and take positive forward action. Here are some questions to help you dig deeper into assumptions:

Just because this happened in the past what makes me think that it will happen that way again? Why does that have to be true now?

What could I do differently to get a different result?

How can I use what I know now to create a different plan or to take a new approach?

Recognize that who you are now isn’t the same person as who you were then. Just because you traveled that path before, it doesn’t mean that you’re destined to travel that path again. If you are different, why would your results be the same?

Identify the things about yourself that are different now. Realize that you’re changing so your results are changing too. 

A principal to keep in mind around assumptions is: We are each a product of our own belief system. No two people experience the world in the same way. Everyone experiences life through the filter of his or her personal history. The paradoxical thing about belief systems is that they are not serving you in a favorable way, but they can be changed to ones that are more in alignment with your values. Many personal “dilemmas” can be addressed by changing the beliefs that created your “reality”. A great quote around assumptions is “…man is so imprisoned by his type of thinking that he is simply incapable of fully understanding another standpoint” - Carl Jung.

The last energy blocks is Gremlins. This is the inner voice that tells you, in one way or another, that you are not good enough. As Denis Waitley says “It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you’re not”. Gremlins are the most emotional and powerful block because they are rooted in fear. Author Gay Hendrix says “Many of our

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Bio:

Rachel has 17+ years of experience leading, developing, and coaching global teams in Fortune 500 companies. Her expertise is in learning and development, where she has designed, developed, and launched multiple billion-dollar brands and trained teams who have negotiated multiple billion-dollar contracts. Rachel's favorite accomplishment was creating multiple leadership capabilities academies focused on the holistic development of individuals and leaders. 

In 2020, Rachel took the biggest leap of faith and started my coaching/consulting business, Realize You Coaching. Rachel has had the opportunity to coach thousands of people on the power of creating awareness, connecting within, and finding the confidence to overcome fear and self-doubt to amplify their impact personally and professionally. 

Social Media Links:

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YouTube

TikTok

📩 Connect & Support

• Join the Substack Community: Widening Your Aperture Substack
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• Watch Video Episodes on YouTube: The Widening Your Aperture Podcast
• Email the Show: [email protected]
• Support WYA: Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to help this work reach others!
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Hi friends, welcome to this week’s solo episode. Another year has come and gone. Hard to believe, right?! While it may seem arbitrary, the end of the calendar year presents us with an opportunity to reflect on the past year and plan for the year ahead. It can be easy to forego the reflecting on the past year and just focus on the year to come but failure to reflect will eventually manifest as failure to grow. 

So this year I decided to do a Personal Yearly Review instead of the typical new years resolutions. When it comes to resolutions, we’ve all made them and we’ve all failed to achieve them. The sheer number of times I have resolved to take up a regular exercise routine, to stop procrastinating, or to stop being a member of hustle culture - and failed miserably - it’s embarrassing. New Year’s resolutions often have at least one of the following problems:

- They are vague, non-specific goals like “get fit”, “be nicer to people”, or “read more books”

- They tend to be pessimistic and are rooted in self-criticism and admonishment for still not doing that thing you always wanted to do or worse, felt you should do. 

- They tend to be too big or too numerous - “I’m committing to these 10 big, vague, life-changing things and I’m starting them all on January 1st”. This me friends is an award winning recipe for failure.

- Many times they are not your highest priority and therefore fall to the wayside too easily.

The start of a new year is useful. There tends to be a positive ‘change can happen’ vibe in the atmosphere. A new year. A clean slate. A time to make some changes and shift the focus to the goals and intentions that really matter most to you. So let’s do that, but let’s do it right.

I have created a Personal Yearly Review workbook that is a step-by-step guide to help you navigate your doing your own Personal Yearly Review with ease. It is broken down into three major categories:

1. Past Year Review 
2. Assessment of Your Current Life
3. Reflecting to Gain Insights
4. Clarify Intentions and Vision  - using the insights from part I 
5. Take Inspired Action
   1. Set Goals and Action Plans (1-5 goals, Short-term, Middle-term, and/or Long-term)
   2. Set a Yearly, Quarterly and/or Monthly Theme for the Year/Quarter/Month. “The Year/Quarter/Month of __________________.”
   3. Writing a letter or creating a ‘contract’ with yourself
   4. Setting a Focus (Different than a Goal or Theme)

There are A LOT of Personal Yearly Reviews out there! I researched over 20 reviews and distilled them down to the best ideas from Tim Ferris, James Clear, Sahil Bloom, Mark Manson and many, many more.  I then added my own questions and evaluations. If you have been listening to the solo episodes on The Widening Your Aperture Podcast, many of the tools, questions and resources will be familiar to you. 

Lastly, I think it is important to share why I decided to create this guide. In the past, I have gone into the new year one of two ways: with resolutions that ALWAYS failed to stick or just ‘winging it’ and just hoping for the best. Needless to say, neither approach has served me well. I believe the PYR allows us to step into the new year more informed, with intentionality and with thought-out plans in place to help us achieve our goals, build new habits and be the person we want to be. Also, with my Dad passing this year, I was reminded that our days on this planet are too precious not to fill them with the people, activities and things nourish us the most. Every year gives us 8,760 hours - we must plan and prioritize the upcoming year so that we can maximize as many of those hours as possible.

Now it’s time for you to do the work! You will find a link to download the Personal Yearly Review Workbook in the show notes. Carve out a couple quiet hours over the next few days to do it. During this process if you feel stuck or have thoughts you would like to share during the reflective process, remember you’re not alone. I’m just a message away, send me a DM on IG, FB or linked in or shoot me an email at [email protected]. Whether it’s a question, a moment of insight, or feedback about the review, I’m here to listen and help. Your perspectives and unique human experiences are invaluable and I would love to hear how this journey is unfolding for you! Additionally, if you would like to set up a free 30 minute discovery call with me to explore how 1:1 coaching can support you in your growth journey, go to my website www.wideningyouraperture.com and fill out the contact form. As a special thank you for being a listener of The Widening Your Aperture Podcast use code TWYAP2023 to get 25% off all 1:1 ala carte sessions and coaching packages! Have a great rest of the week and tune in Monday for another subject matter expert conversation AND next Thursday for another solo episode!

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ANNE BONNEY LONG BIO (@200 WORDS)

Anne Bonney, CSP® is a fun, energetic international motivational keynote speaker

and workshop facilitator. She is also an authority on Change Management, author

of 2 books on embracing the discomforts of change, podcast host of Dancing in

the Discomfort Zone Podcast, and an experienced in-person, virtual and hybrid

workshop facilitator. After 20 years of highly successful corporate and non-profit

leadership, Anne, now uses her experience, education, and expertise to ignite

YOUR Courage, Confidence and Resilience in the face of the discomfort of change,

courageous communication and emotional intelligence.

You’d better turn on the AC because this “ball of fire” will light you up with fun

and relevant stories, time-tested knowledge and immediately applicable strategies

to make a difference for you, your team, and your organization.

This spunky little redhead shares business lessons from her crazy life experiences,

which arms her with relatable and hilariously memorable stories from growing up

overseas, running international marathons, animal training, morale building tours

to the military in Iraq, volunteering at an elephant sanctuary and singing opera at a

performing arts school and yes- there’s more. You won’t want to miss Anne’s

session as Anne is a mindset shifting motivator who fires people up to catalyze

powerful change in their lives, their teams and their organizations.

Connect with Anne at:

Website: YourChangeSpeaker.com

E-mail: [email protected]

LinkedIn: @AnneBonney

Facebook or Instagram: @SpeakerAnneBonney

Phone: 443-253-2634

Dancing in the Discomfort Zone Podcast: http://DancingintheDiscomfortZone.com/

Check out the books: https://ignitingyourcourage.com/blog/2021/09/08/books/

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Hey friends, welcome to this week’s solo episode! In today’s episode I am going to share how to make lasting, sustainable changes in your life by creating a clear vision and then setting AIM SMART goals . In previous episodes, you defined your core values and identified the areas of your life that you want to increase your satisfaction in. This is the first phase, which I call the Introspection phase, of the 4-part framework I use with my coaching clients. This weeks episode is the second phase, which I call the Shift phase, where you learn how to create AIM SMART goals and set intentions that will create internal shifts and empower you to have agency in generating holistic wellbeing and increasing your overall life satisfaction.

In the last solo episode I talked about visioning - looking at the ways your life would be different if you were to make a change in the pillar or pillars you chose to work on. Let’s expand on this a little more. Often when we go to set goals, we don’t have a clear picture in mind of what the end result will be and this makes it difficult to determine how to get there. There is a saying “If you don’t know what the destination is, and path will get you there’. This can cause us to get stuck because of a fear of the unknown. To gain clarity, find purpose, a know where you want to go ask yourself this question: “In a year from now you were living a more purposeful, fulfilling life that you felt satisfaction in and/or life was exactly as you wanted it to be, what would be different?” Explore every aspect of what this “new life” looks like. Then ask yourself, “to get to that point in one year, where do you need to be/what do you need to be doing in 6 months? 3 months? 1 month? 1 week? Tomorrow? Today?” Use whatever timeline you would like here, then reverse engineer from there. Keep in mind, change is more sustainable when you give yourself ample time and make small changes that will compound into the larger change you want to make. This is the idea of beginning with the end in mind. It’s easier to break down a vision into manageable parts after the vision is created. Now, you are ready to make action plans to make the vision a reality by using the AIM SMART goal setting process.

The AIM SMART process allows you to set the right goals, and then develop action plans to achieve them. When you set a goal, you need to AIM towards working on realistic goals. AIM stands for:

A - Acceptable - what is the minimum you can do?

I - Ideal - what is the maximum you can do?

M - Middle - what is in the middle; a realistic stretch?

When you have the goal to AIM for, you will then move on to the SMART process. SMART stands for:

S - Specific - What, exactly, is the very first step of any action/learning/goal you have identified?

M - Measurable - For what you have listed in “specific”, make sure you have qualified and/or quantified the measure of success.

A - Achievable - is the initial step possible to achieve?

R - Reasonable - How reasonable is it that what you’re saying you’re going to do can be done at this time?

T - Time-Oriented - By when, exactly, will you complete this first step of the goal (not the entire goal)?

Once you have met the first SMART goal, repeat the SMART process for the next step of your action plan.

Some things that will help you as you work towards your goal are:

Identifying your ‘why’ - why is achieving this goal important to you?  

Accountability - find someone that you can share your goal with and ask them to hold you accountable, this will help to ensure your success! Let them know how you want to be held accountable and what you will need from them to be successful in reaching your goal. 

Now it’s time for you to do the work! Write down the steps of the AIM SMART process and carve out some time to do create your vision and complete the goal setting/action plan process. A link to my AIM SMART worksheet will be provided in this weeks Widening Your Aperture Newsletter. If you haven’t signed up yet, there is a link in the show notes! If you have questions about any of the material covered in todays episode send me a DM on IG, FB or linked in or shoot me an email at [email protected]. Additionally, if you would like to set up a free 30 minute discovery call with me to explore how 1:1 coaching can support you in your growth journey, go to my website www.wideningyouraperture.com and fill out the contact form. As a special thank you for being a listener of The Widening Your Aperture Podcast use code TWYAP2023 to get 25% off all 1:1 ala carte sessions and coaching packages! Have a great rest of the week and tune in next Monday for another subject matter expert conversation, next Tuesday for a special solo episode about how to do an end of year review so you can gain insights that will help you to CRUSH 2024 AND next Thursday for the weekly solo episode about the 4 common blocks that prevent us from accomplishing our goals! 

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Jon Passaro is an executive and team coach based in Paris, France. He developed his no-nonsense approach to coaching with a lawyer's sensibilities in mind, based on the decade he spent working as a lawyer in top-ranked international firms and on the in-house legal team at the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD)). With his results-driven approach, Jon helps his clients to navigate the challenges of demanding careers by clarifying their clients' and colleagues' expectations, and what they need to do to satisfy them; developing a better understanding of their coworkers' and clients perspectives; improving their self-confidence, and reconnecting them with what gives them meaning in their career, so that they can rediscover the motivation they had when they first started working.

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Hey guys this is Kristen and I want to welcome you to the first episode of a new format  I am adding to the Widening Your Aperture Podcast. It’s called Wide Open Aperture and I’ve enlisted my brother Brian to co-host. I anticipate this will be an ongoing monthly series where we will discuss random relevant topics, share the impactful and sometimes controversial podcast episodes and documentaries we have listened to and watched, share what is going on in our worlds as well as the wisdom we have received from others all from the lens of our shared, weird sense of humor. This new format also serves an ask-me-anything opportunity for listeners. If you have a question, problem, or decision you’re trying to make and you would like us to weigh in from our different perspectives, you can send an email to [email protected].

So now to introduce my cohost. Brian is my older brother, a husband, a father, a dog dad, an expert horticulturist, a psychonaut, a CT technologist and a burgeoning massage therapist who shares my curiosity in understanding why we do what we do and why humans in general do what they do.

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Dr Divya Joshi, MD MMM is a pediatric oncologist/hematologist with 10 years of clinical experience in academic health systems and 12 years of healthcare leadership.

Having graduated in 1994 from the Medical School at the University of Vienna in Austria, she proceeded with post-graduate training in pediatric and adolescent medicine and pediatric hematology and oncology at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN from 1995 to 2001.

Her clinical practice was at the Nemours Children’s Clinic and Arnold Palmer Children’s Hospital in Orlando, FL from 2001-03, and at the Marshfield Clinic and St Joseph’s Hospital in WI, where she also served as residency director from 2005 to 2009.

After obtaining a Masters in Medical Management at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, PA in 2009, Dr Joshi held executive roles at several institutions, including Chief Medical Officer at Miller Children’s and Women’s Hospital from 2011 to 2015, Chief Executive Officer of the OSF Healthcare Children’s Hospital of IL from 2015 to 2020 and most recently President of the physician group at Johns  Hopkins All Children’s in St Petersburg, FL from 2020 to 2023.

She remained academically engaged throughout her career, as Associate Professor at the Universities of Wisconsin, California Irvine, Ilinois and Johns Hopkins University.

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Hey friends, welcome to this week’s solo episode! In today’s episode I am going to share what it means to meet yourself where you are and how to accomplish this. This weeks episode is a bit shorter because it will directly tie in to next weeks episode and I wanted to make each steps small and achievable. Plus, the work you’ll do this week will take some time to complete. Here is a simple metaphor for the work we will be doing the next few weeks in the solo episodes. Let’s say youre going on a journey.  Before you start out on the journey there are a couple of important details you need to know before you go. First, you have to know where you are starting from (where am I right now). Next, you have to know what your destination is (where do I want to be). Then you have to create a  path to follow (how am I going to get to the destination). Then before you set out you need to make sure you have your compass to guide you along the way. Last week I dove into Core Values which is the compass you will use on your journey. In this weeks solo episode you will learn how to meet yourself where you are right now so you know where you are starting your journey from. I will talk about this process today and I will be sharing a resource with you that will help you determine where you are right now (your starting point). Then next week we will talk about how to determine where you want to go (your destination) and how to create your path so you know the exact steps you are going to take to get to your destination. The metaphor illustrates the process I use with my coaching clients: defining your core values, doing a whole life review of all 8 pillars to evaluate your satisfaction in each pillar currently and identifying the pillars that you want to improve your satisfaction in, then creating AIM SMART goals to identify what you believe will bring you more satisfaction in your pillar(s) of choice (AIM GOAL) and the exact steps that will get you there (SMART GOALS). If you did the work with the Core Values Assessment and Worksheets last week then you have you compass! Let’s talk about how to meet yourself where you are and clarify your starting point.

Now it’s time for you to do the work! Download the Holistic Wellbeing Review worksheet and carve out some quiet time to do it. If you have questions about any of the material covered in todays episode or about the worksheet send me a DM on IG, FB or linked in or shoot me an email at [email protected]. Additionally, if you would like to set up a free 30 minute discovery call with me to explore how 1:1 coaching can support you in your growth journey, go to my website www.wideningyouraperture.com and fill out the contact form. As a special thank you for being a listener of The Widening Your Aperture Podcast use code TWYAP2023 to get 25% off all 1:1 ala carte sessions and coaching packages! Have a great rest of the week and tune in next Monday for another subject matter expert conversation AND next Wednesday for the FIRST Wide Open Aperture episode! 

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