The Widowed Parent Podcast

We're trying something a little different today. Or actually: a lot different. We've got our first non-human guest on the show. No, I'm not interviewing either of my dogs, Daisy and Penny, although that could get interesting. Today I'm interviewing the artificial intelligence tool ChatGPT.

What is ChatGPT, you ask? I asked it to describe itself briefly, in a non-technical way, and this is what it said:

"ChatGPT is like a digital helper that can talk and write in a human-like way. It's powered by a type of artificial intelligence, and it can help answer your questions, write emails, tutor in a variety of subjects, translate languages, and even write poetry. It's like having a very knowledgeable friend to help you out with all sorts of tasks. This tool was created by OpenAI, a research group focused on making AI technology that benefits everyone. ChatGPT was first made available to the public in 2021."

So I got to wondering recently whether ChatGPT might have anything useful to say to those of us who are widowed parents. Because if you're anything like me, you're trying to figure out how to raise kids after their other parent has died – and you're realizing this is hard. And – it's hard to know who can help us figure that out.

This idea came up because a family member of mine has a podcast on a totally different topic, and she interviewed ChatGPT on her show. And my dad spotted it and said to me, hey, maybe there's something interesting here in relation to your show, too. So I listened to the discussion my aunt, Jo Ann Barefoot, had with ChatGPT on her show, which is called Barefoot Innovation – and it was fascinating. If you're at all interested in the banking industry, and especially in FinTech and financial regulation, I highly encourage you to listen to her interview with ChatGPT, and to her many other interviews as well.

Anyway, I started to wonder: what would ChatGPT say to my listeners? If I asked it to suggest resources for widowed parents, would it have any? Would those resources be any good? Would it have advice on planning for Father's Day, for example, since that is right around the corner? Would it be well-versed on kids' understanding of grief at various ages and developmental stages?

Perhaps most importantly: If I posed a bunch of questions, and I shared them on the show, would I have to interject over and over and let you know where its answers were unhelpful, or even incorrect or dangerous?

I played around a little first, to get a sense of how to use it. And because I was sitting next to my dog when I signed up, my very first question to ChatGPT was: "can you tell me about Tibetan spaniels?" I asked a few more questions about topics that were top-of-mind: recovery from the type of shoulder surgery I recently had, and how to clean my new Trex decking.

Then, it was time to think about what to ask ChatGPT about widowed parenting, and give it a go. Have a listen for yourself, and let me know what you think about how it answers.

A note about the methodology and technology used in this interview. I used the most up-to-date version of ChatGPT, called GPT-4. Because it only takes text input, and answers with text replies, I conducted the interview by typing my questions and reading the answers as they came back. In order to share it with you today, I went back and recorded myself reading my questions out loud, and also fed ChatGPT's answers into a text-to-speech tool called NaturalReader (the commercial version). I picked a voice named "Aria" and chose the "friendly" option for her tone. I used another AI tool called DALL-E to generate a "headshot" for today's guest. I had to experiment quite a lot with what type of prompts to give the tool, in plain English, and get the type of image I wanted, and that was fun.

As someone who spent 20 years in the tech world in my prior life, I have to say, this experiment was super interesting. I was blown away with how accurate and useful the answers were to the questions that I posed.

I don't think that's necessarily always the case with AI tools, even this one. One criticism I hear is that these tools can create great-sounding answers that are entirely wrong. In this case, I'm able to review the answers before sharing them with you, and if any of the answers had been wrong or even dangerous, I would have addressed that.

As AI tools become more and more widespread, I think it's important for those of us working in the grief world to realize that the grieving people we serve may begin turning to them for answers. I think it's important that we understand what's out there, what may be coming, and what the possibilities and limitations are. We can't afford to ignore AI – for better or worse, it will likely change the way we do our work in the world, and how grieving people are supported in the years to come.

I hope you enjoy my interview with ChatGPT.

The Widowed Parent Institute guides the journey of solo parenting after loss. Get free resources for widowed parents and for supporting grieving friends.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Help Texts - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://helptexts.com/jennylisk

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I had such a great discussion with Talia Kovacs for this episode. We talked about an important topic: building resilience in our kids. Listen for Talia explaining what she means when she says resilience is learned, but it can't be taught. It's an important nuance that I hadn't thought about before, and Talia explains to us what this means for us as parents.

The Widowed Parent Institute guides the journey of solo parenting after loss. Get free resources for widowed parents and for supporting grieving friends.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Help Texts - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://helptexts.com/jennylisk

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I had such a great discussion with Heidi Carson for this episode. Heidi is a fellow widowed parent, and she lost her husband, Chad, when their kids were 12 and 14 due to complications related to a rare telomere disease. I so appreciate Heidi talking with us because I believe that hearing other people's stories helps us feel so much less alone. Listen for Heidi sharing how getting involved in volunteering and advocacy related to her husband's disease has helped her in her grief, and how writing fiction has helped, too.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Help Texts - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://helptexts.com/jennylisk

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I had such a great discussion with Dr. Lisa Damour for this episode. I always love talking with Lisa, and her books and podcast are incredible resources for parents. I frequently recommend her book Untangled to parents of teen and tween girls, and she's got a brand new book out this week: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. In addition to unpacking that topic, we talked about trauma, and also why one of Lisa's first questions when encountering someone in crisis is to ask whether they are able to sleep. We talked about some options to consider if your teen is refusing to go to therapy, and so much more.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Help Texts - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://helptexts.com/jennylisk

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I had such a great discussion with Rabbi Steve Leder for this episode. So great that I may just have to have him back. We talked mostly about his second-most-recent book, The Beauty of What Remains, which I found fascinating and helpful and comforting, all in one. He describes it as both a memoir and a field guide. We talked about what he's learned working with a thousand grieving families in his thirty years at Wilshire Boulevard Temple, plus what he learned when he lost his own father. Even though Steve is a Rabbi, I found his wisdom applicable to those who practice any religion, or even no religion at all.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Help Texts - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://helptexts.com/jennylisk

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I had such a great discussion with Whitney Kobrin for this episode. Whitney is herself widowed, and she really wanted to focus our discussion on giving hope to people who feel stuck. She's a love coach, but we didn't talk about dating or relationships—we talked about self-love and self-compassion. We also talked about the advice you may have heard to not make any major changes in the first year. That's come up on the show before, but we've not really explored it too much, and Whitney tells us about her experience with this.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Help Texts - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://helptexts.com/jennylisk

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I had such a great discussion with Dr. Elena Lister and Dr. Michael Schwartzman for this episode. I'm going to keep this brief and make just one suggestion: If you're a widowed parent, buy this book. If you know a widowed parent, buy it for them. Seriously. The stuff the authors cover is exactly the sort of stuff I was wondering about when my husband, Dennis, was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and my kids were 9 & 11. If you don't know what to say to your kids about death and grief—and let's be honest, who does?—then do yourself a favor and read Giving Hope: Conversations with Children About Illness, Death, and Loss.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Help Texts - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://helptexts.com/jennylisk

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I had such a great discussion with Charlene Lam for this episode. Charlene said she'd like to share with my listeners why she believes we are all curators after a loved one dies. I thought that sounded intriguing, so I invited her on the show. Little did I know I'd end up with some new items on my to-do list! We brainstormed what to do with the pile of old DVDs I have – including all the seasons of Mad Men, which Dennis and I enjoyed together for many years. Listen for Charlene's reflections and tips for using our loved one's belongings as a source of connection and healing, and consider dropping into one of her monthly Grief Gallery gatherings on zoom.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Help Texts - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://helptexts.com/jennylisk

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I had such a great discussion with Jon Lefrandt for this episode. As we close out Children's Grief Awareness Month, I'm really excited to share Jon's story and perspective with you. He lost his dad when he was just 24—and he had to step in and help care for his six younger siblings and help them with their grief, both short term and long term. I know you'll learn a lot from what Jon has to share with us.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Help Texts - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://helptexts.com/jennylisk

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I had such a great discussion with Melissa Williams-Gurian for this episode. I'm grateful Melissa was willing to speak with me because she doesn't do this work professionally; she shares with us from her own personal experience of losing her mom when she was 15. Perhaps this is around the ages some of our kids were. Talking with people who lost a parent at a young age is always such a privilege. It puts things on my radar screen that I wouldn't have necessarily thought of. It helps raise my awareness and increase my understanding of what kids go through when they lose a parent, and what their experiences may be like. I hope it helps increase your awareness and understanding, too.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Help Texts - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://helptexts.com/jennylisk

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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