The Wonderful World of Darklords

Welcome to Wonderful World of Darklords! Kris Newton joins us as we close out 2025 with a discussion of Oliver and Company, and with it, the class option that has tragically never made it into a single edition of D&D: Doggie Crime Lord. Topics discussed include:

• Why a sadsack with a gambling addiction and a team of canine pickpockets is going to be irresistible for a whole lot of PCs;
• The versatility of this version of Bill Sykes, and how he can function as a low-level henchman for a variety of heavy hitters your PCs can tangle with later;
• The joys of treasure that comes with strings attached;
• An impromptu musical number;
• And more!

Full writeups for Fagin and his magic dog biscuits can be found for free on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/fagin-146739039

The link to our horror movie minisode poll is also on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/horror-movie-146799916

TIMESTAMPS

0:00 Introduction

7:14 Fagin Stats and Background

40:38 Adventures with Fagin

You can find Kris at MegaDumbCast (https://megadumbcast.podbean.com/) and the now-completed Gameable Podcast (https://gameabledisneypodcast.tumblr.com/)

All music recordings are in the public domain (mark 1.0) and are licensed through https://musopen.org:

Arabian Dance, from Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite, via the European Archive

Dialog for Yensid was written by Azalin Rex himself: http://www.tumblr.com/darklordazalin

The Wonderful World of Darklords logo was designed by Halite Jones, whom you can find on Tumblr and Instagram: https://www.tumblr.com/halite-draw and http://www.instagram.com/insta_halite

Contact us on:

Gmail: [email protected]

Facebook: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Tumblr: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Patreon: www.patreon.com/WonderfulWorldofDarklords

YouTube: @wonderfulworldofdarklord

In which D travels home for the holidays. The full episode can be found on Patreon, but we wanted to make this portion of it public to give a sense of the status quo with D's family.

Timestamps:

0:00 Introduction

0:55 First Letter ("Despite Yensid's petulant silence on the matter...")

4:38 Second Letter ("There's no feeling quite like that of coming home...")

10:32 Second Letter, continued ("And to my relief and delight, the door was opened...")

Content Advisory (details on content advisories can be found on Facebook, Tumblr, and Patreon)

Emotional abuse (major; I'm going to stop calling it "subtext" because it's text by now), psychological torture (major)

All music recordings are in the public domain (mark 1.0) and are licensed through https://musopen.org:

Granados Twelve Spanish Dances, Op. 37, II. - Oriental (letter to Binx theme), performed by Monica Alianello (public domain mark 1.0)

Mozart Piano Sonata No. 11, K. 331, 1. - Andante Grazioso (Poppy's theme), from the European Archive

Schumann Scenes from Childhood Op. 15, Movements IV, VII, X, and XII (Max and Dani), performed by Donald Betts

Chopin Nocturne in B-Flat Minor, Op. 9 No.1 (main theme), performed by Eduardo Vinuela

The Wonderful World of Darklords logo was designed by Halite Jones, whom you can find on Tumblr and Instagram: https://www.tumblr.com/halite-jones and http://www.instagram.com/insta_halite

Contact us on:

Gmail: [email protected]

Facebook: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Tumblr: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Patreon: www.patreon.com/WonderfulWorldofDarklords

YouTube: @wonderfulworldofdarklord

In which D is fighting evil by starlight, journaling by daylight, and never running from a real fight. The in-character fiction from the episode without the in-depth out of character discussion for the domain.

Commentary on D's Journal is usually a patrons-only perk, but there's a specific bit of commentary for this one that I wanted to make available for everyone.

Timestamps:

0:00 Introduction

1:53 The Lord

5:14 The Land

8:22 Dread Possibilities

12:50 Parting Thoughts

20:48 Postscript

22:58 Commentary

Content Advisory for D's Journal (details on content advisories can be found on Facebook, Tumblr, and Patreon)

Mind control (major), memory manipulation (major), abusive relationship subtext (major; trauma bonding, fawning), body horror (minor; transformation), death (minor)

All music recordings are in the public domain (mark 1.0) and are licensed through https://musopen.org:

Chopin Nocturne in B-Flat Minor, Op. 9 No.1 (main theme), performed by Eduardo Vinuela

Chopin Mazurka in B-Flat Major, Op. 17 No.1, performed by Christoph Zbinden

Chopin Etude Op. 10 No. 1 in C Major "Waterfall" (darklord theme), performed by Chiara Bertoglio

Chopin Nocturne in F Major, Op. 15 No. 1 (land theme). performed by Luke Faulkner

Chopin Nocturne in D-Flat Major, Op. 17 No. 2 (Dread Possibilities), performed by Paul Pitman

Rachmaninoff Morceaux de Fantaisie, Op. 3 - 2. Prélude in C sharp minor (Dread Possibilities), performed by Sergei Rachmaninoff

Chopin Nocturne in E Minor, Op. 72 No. 1 (parting thoughts), performed by Luke Faulkner

Wagner Siegfried, WWV 86C - Funeral March, Finale (postscript), performed by the United States Marine Band

Dialog for Yensid was written by Azalin Rex himself: http://www.tumblr.com/darklordazalin

The Wonderful World of Darklords logo was designed by Halite Jones, whom you can find on Tumblr and Instagram: https://www.tumblr.com/halite-jones and http://www.instagram.com/insta_halite

Contact us on:

Gmail: [email protected]

Facebook: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Tumblr: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Patreon: www.patreon.com/WonderfulWorldofDarklords

YouTube: @wonderfulworldofdarklord

Welcome to Wonderful World of Darklords! Earlier this year, our generous listeners donated $385 to Catholic Legal Immigration Network, Inc. (CLINIC), and that means a second Listener's Choice episode! For this one, we're reconnecting with our Toonami days to bring you Sailor Moon, with the iconic villain who finds her way into in every iteration of the show and manga: Queen Beryl. She made a bargain with dark powers to win the heart of someone who didn't love her back, only to have them reject her...and then reincarnate and reject her again. Sounds familiar. Topics discussed include:

• Why Beryl and her four generals give you a perfect campaign structure;
• Ways to incorporate the Sailor Guardians into your campaign while still allowing the PCs to be the protagonists;
• Incorporating themes of reincarnation into the Sailor Moon section of your game without necessarily having them be a factor when your PCs move on to a less reincarnation-heavy setting;
• How to give your PCs a Sailor Guardian transformation, because that's what we're all here for, and what their Sailor Guardian names might be in a world with no Mercury, Venus, Mars, or Jupiter;
• and more!

The full write-up for Millennium City is available on DM's Guild: https://www.dmsguild.com/en/product/548430/the-dark-kingdom-a-ravenloft-domain-of-dread?preview=1

Timestamps

0:00 Introduction

8:22 The Lord

34:58 The Land

54:27 Dread Possibilities

1:27:57 Aging Up (sexual content)

1:28:52 NSFW part of Aging Up ends

1:37:51 Parting Thoughts

1:58:34 D’s Parting Thoughts

Content Advisory for D's Journal (details on content advisories can be found on Facebook, Tumblr, and Patreon)

Mind control (major), memory manipulation (major), abusive relationship subtext (major; trauma bonding, fawning), body horror (minor; transformation), death (minor)

All music recordings are in the public domain (mark 1.0) and are licensed through https://musopen.org:

Chopin Nocturne in B-Flat Minor, Op. 9 No.1 (main theme), performed by Eduardo Vinuela

Chopin Mazurka in B-Flat Major, Op. 17 No.1, performed by Christoph Zbinden

Chopin Etude Op. 10 No. 1 in C Major "Waterfall" (darklord theme), performed by Chiara Bertoglio

Chopin Nocturne in F Major, Op. 15 No. 1 (land theme). performed by Luke Faulkner

Chopin Nocturne in D-Flat Major, Op. 17 No. 2 (Dread Possibilities), performed by Paul Pitman

Rachmaninoff Morceaux de Fantaisie, Op. 3 - 2. Prélude in C sharp minor (Dread Possibilities), performed by Sergei Rachmaninoff

Chopin Nocturne in E Minor, Op. 72 No. 1 (parting thoughts), performed by Luke Faulkner

Wagner Siegfried, WWV 86C - Funeral March, Finale (postscript), performed by the United States Marine Band

Dialog for Yensid was written by Azalin Rex himself: http://www.tumblr.com/darklordazalin

The Wonderful World of Darklords logo was designed by Halite Jones, whom you can find on Tumblr and Instagram: https://www.tumblr.com/halite-jones and http://www.instagram.com/insta_halite

Contact us on:

Gmail: [email protected]

Facebook: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Tumblr: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Patreon: www.patreon.com/WonderfulWorldofDarklords

YouTube: @wonderfulworldofdarklord

Come with D and you'll be in a world of pure imagination. The in-character fiction from the episode without the in-depth out-of-character discussion of the domain.

Timestamps

0:00 Introduction

2:27 The Lord

4:52 The Land

8:29 Dread Possibilities

11:53 Parting Thoughts

16:31 Postscript

Content Advisory for D's Journal (details on content advisories can be found on Facebook, Tumblr, and Patreon)

Mind control (major), memory manipulation (major), body horror (transformation; major), child endangerment (major; she doesn't explicitly mention that the ticket holders are children, but if you know, you know), facial mutilation (minor), suicide (minor). If you struggle with D's emotional distress, skip the postscript; it builds on the major plot development from The Black Cauldron, but it isn't crucial.

All music recordings are in the public domain (mark 1.0) and are licensed through https://musopen.org:

Chopin Nocturne in B-Flat Minor, Op. 9 No.1 (main theme), performed by Eduardo Vinuela

Chopin Etude Op. 25, No. 12 in C Minor: “Ocean” (darklord theme), performed by Edward Neeman

Chopin Nocturne in F Minor, Op. 55 No. 1 (land theme), performed by Luke Faulkner

Rachmaninoff Morceaux de Fantaisie, Op. 3 - 2. Prélude in C sharp minor (Dread Possibilities), performed by Sergei Rachmaninoff

Chopin Nocturne in E Minor, Op. 72 No. 1 (parting thoughts), performed by Luke Faulkner

Wagner Siegfried, WWV 86C - Funeral March, Finale (postscript), performed by the United States Marine Band

Dialog for Yensid was written by Azalin Rex himself: http://www.tumblr.com/darklordazalin

The Wonderful World of Darklords logo was designed by Halite Jones, whom you can find on Tumblr and Instagram: https://www.tumblr.com/halite-jones and http://www.instagram.com/insta_halite

Contact us on:

Gmail: [email protected]

Facebook: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Tumblr: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Patreon: www.patreon.com/WonderfulWorldofDarklords

YouTube: @wonderfulworldofdarklord

Welcome, my friends. Welcome to Wonderful World of Darklords. Will the ticket holders come forward, please? Welcome. It's nice to have you here. We're so glad you could come. This is going to be such an exciting day. We hope you enjoy it. We think you will. Little surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous. Don't be alarmed. Now, hats, coats, galoshes, over here. But hurry! We have so much time and so little to podcast about. Wait! Strike that! Reverse it! Thank you. Topics discussed include:

• Mascot horror, its various tropes, and why they mesh beautifully with Ravenloft in general and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory specifically;
• A factory full of themed rooms, monsters, and magical consumables, aka a perfect dungeon;
• The darklord who makes a perfect stand-in for Slugworth, plus a bit of Darkon lore if you want the vibe of the factory without the inherent silliness of Willy Wonka annd Oompa Loompas;
• The Unknown (but not anti-graffiti gobstoppers);
• and more!

The full write-up for Wonka's Chocolate Factory is available on DM's Guild: https://site.dmsguild.com/product/544208/Willy-McDuffs-Candy-Factory-A-Ravenloft-Domain-of-Dread?affiliate_id=241770

The discount link for the Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory adventure is here: https://tools.dmsguild.com/browse.php?discount=9b8c59b61f

The watchlist we used for Episode 41 is here: https://medium.com/@oddlazdo/a-filler-reduced-viewing-guide-to-sailor-moon-season-1-d64a7d5c158d We watched all the required episodes as well as 11 and 31 (which were unnecessary but very fun), and Tom watched the first season of Crystal.

Timestamps

0:00 Introduction

11:50 The Lord

43:39 The Land

1:10:40 Dread Possibilities

1:32:36 Parting Thoughts

1:56:32 D’s Parting Thoughts

2:05:54 Episode 41 Watchlist

Content Advisory for D's Journal (details on content advisories can be found on Facebook, Tumblr, and Patreon)

Mind control (major), memory manipulation (major), body horror (transformation; major), child endangerment (major; she doesn't explicitly mention that the ticket holders are children, but if you know, you know), facial mutilation (minor), suicide (minor). If you struggle with D's emotional distress, skip the postscript; it builds on the major plot development from The Black Cauldron, but it isn't crucial.

All music recordings are in the public domain (mark 1.0) and are licensed through https://musopen.org:

Chopin Nocturne in B-Flat Minor, Op. 9 No.1 (main theme), performed by Eduardo Vinuela

Chopin Etude Op. 25, No. 12 in C Minor: “Ocean” (darklord theme), performed by Edward Neeman

Chopin Nocturne in F Minor, Op. 55 No. 1 (land theme), performed by Luke Faulkner

Rachmaninoff Morceaux de Fantaisie, Op. 3 - 2. Prélude in C sharp minor (Dread Possibilities), performed by Sergei Rachmaninoff

Chopin Nocturne in E Minor, Op. 72 No. 1 (parting thoughts), performed by Luke Faulkner

Wagner Siegfried, WWV 86C - Funeral March, Finale (postscript), performed by the United States Marine Band

Dialog for Yensid was written by Azalin Rex himself: http://www.tumblr.com/darklordazalin

The Wonderful World of Darklords logo was designed by Halite Jones, whom you can find on Tumblr and Instagram: https://www.tumblr.com/halite-jones and http://www.instagram.com/insta_halite

Contact us on:

Gmail: [email protected]

Facebook: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Tumblr: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Patreon: www.patreon.com/WonderfulWorldofDarklords

YouTube: @wonderfulworldofdarklord

Welcome to Wonderful World of Darklords: Book Club of Dread! No, if you're not a patron, you didn't miss Book One; it's a Patreon exclusive. We talk about the rules of the Nightmare Land so much that we couldn't paywall them in good conscience, though, so we're making the second, rules-focused book of the 1995 Ravenloft Nightmare Lands boxed set free for everyone. The Nightmare Lands has a lot of legitimately cool ideas and some creepy, evocative settings and NPCs, but it's also an attempt to cludge together freeform indie ideas with second edition D&D mechanics. Topics discussed include:

• The five Disney/Pixar PCs we're going to subject to the torments of the Nightmare Court, complete with classes, levels, and alignments, and which one of them strides through the land of dreams like a goddess;
• How to make peace with your inner demons by gaining enough mental fortitude points to attain your inner peace number (hint: it's second edition, so it's through combat);
• Tom's on-mic meltdown at the way experience points were handled in the nineties;
• So, so many charts;
• And more!

Our beverage is Nightmare on Bourbon Street, or Nightmare on Martinelli Street for a mocktail option. You can find the recipe here: https://www.halfbakedharvest.com/nightmare-on-bourbon-street/ We used the same regular non-alcoholic sparkling cider that we give our kids on New Year's Eve, and it was absolutely delicious, so we can 100% vouch for this whether you add a shot of bourbon or not.

REMINDER: Our fundraiser for the Capital Area Food Bank is still live! https://give.capitalareafoodbank.org/wonderfulworldofdarklords

Timestamps:

0:00 Introduction

15:53 Meet the adventuring party!

29:40 General dreamscape rules

35:17 Madness rules

43:01 Inner strength and mental fortitude

1:15:20 Dream powers

1:43:12 Geography of the Nightmare Lands

1:59:49 Dream powers of the Nightmare Court

2:22:34 Dr. Illhousen's clinic

All music recordings are in the public domain (mark 1.0) and are licensed through https://musopen.org:

Night on Bald Mountain by Modest Mussorgsky, performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra

The Wonderful World of Darklords logo was designed by Halite Jones, whom you can find on Tumblr and Instagram: https://www.tumblr.com/halite-draw and http://www.instagram.com/insta_halite

Contact us on:

Gmail: [email protected]

Facebook: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Tumblr: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Youtube: @wonderfulworldofdarklord

Hello, dear listeners! Our fundraiser for the Capital Area Food Bank is LIVE! https://give.capitalareafoodbank.org/wonderfulworldofdarklords

If you'd rather support your own local food bank, that's wonderful! Send us a screenshot of the receipt at [email protected] and we'll count it toward our goal.

When we did our survey for what goals you'd like us to set for the fundraiser, there wasn't a single clear winner, but the great thing is that the four top vote-getters are all pretty easy things that can happen in installments. So here's what's going to happen!

• Unless no one donates at all, AMAs are happening. Everyone who donates gets to ask questions; just let us know if you want us to field them stoned or sober. Email us, contact on our various socials, leave it on the donation page as a comment, whatever.
• At $100, we'll do a Book Club of Dread for a single Hot Blood anthology.
• At $200, we'll also do a minisode for a single horror movie.
• At $300, we'll also stream an hour or two of playing Strahd's Possession or Stone Prophet. (We want to do two, but who even knows if the kids will allow us two hours of uninterrupted time.)
• At $400, we'll also do a Book Club of Dread for a second Hot Blood anthology. (Please get us to $400, guys. Rachel really wants to talk about Hotter Blood, which is the best book in the series, but obviously we also have to talk about one that's gonzo, not good.)
• At $500, we'll also do a minisode for a second horror movie.
• At $600, we'll stream another hour or two.
• If we get past our fundraising goal, we'll just keep this cycle going!

Thank you so much for your generosity, and happy gaming! https://give.capitalareafoodbank.org/wonderfulworldofdarklords

In which D has a case of mistaken identity, gets answers to a long-standing question, and finally has a decent night's sleep. The in-character fiction from the episode without the in-depth out-of-character discussion of the domain.

Timestamps

0:00 Introduction

1:49 The Lord

5:17 The Land

10:42 Dread Possibilities

15:25 Parting Thoughts

Content Advisory for D's Journal (details on content advisories can be found on Facebook, Tumblr, and Patreon)

Mind control (major), corpses (major), death (moderate)

All music recordings are in the public domain (mark 1.0) and are licensed through https://musopen.org:

Chopin Nocturne in B-Flat Minor, Op. 9 No.1 (main theme), performed by Eduardo Vinuela

Chopin Etude Op. 25, No. 12 in C Minor: “Ocean” (darklord theme), performed by Edward Neeman

Chopin Nocturne in F Minor, Op. 55 No. 1 (land theme), performed by Luke Faulkner

Rachmaninoff Morceaux de Fantaisie, Op. 3 - 2. Prélude in C sharp minor (Dread Possibilities), performed by Sergei Rachmaninoff

Chopin Nocturne in E Minor, Op. 72 No. 1 (parting thoughts), performed by Luke Faulkner

Wagner Siegfried, WWV 86C - Funeral March, Finale (postscript), performed by the United States Marine Band

Dialog for Yensid was written by Azalin Rex himself: http://www.tumblr.com/darklordazalin

The Wonderful World of Darklords logo was designed by Halite Jones, whom you can find on Tumblr and Instagram: https://www.tumblr.com/halite-jones and http://www.instagram.com/insta_halite

Contact us on:

Gmail: [email protected]

Facebook: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Tumblr: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Patreon: www.patreon.com/WonderfulWorldofDarklords

YouTube: @wonderfulworldofdarklord

Welcome to Wonderful World of Darklords! In this episode, we're celebrating spooky season with one of Disney's spookier villains: the Horned King. He doesn't have a lot going for him other than vibes, but boy howdy, he has those vibes in abundance. (Is he aura farming? We're in our forties; we don't know.) Topics discussed include:

• A backstory for the Horned King that gives him a motivation beyond "how long I have thirsted to be a god among mortal men," which hinges entirely on three words of dialog (no, we don't mean "three lines," we mean "three words");
• Supplementary material from the books to flesh out the movie's setting while still allowing you to use the Horned King as your darklord instead of Arawn;
• Making a heroic sacrifice to destroy the cauldron without having to kill off any beloved characters;
• Why every campaign deserves an oracular pig;
• And more!

The full write-up for Prydain is available on DM's Guild: https://www.dmsguild.com/product/537766/Annuvin-A-Ravenloft-Domain-of-Dread?view_as_pub=1

Timestamps

0:00 Introduction

6:00 The Lord

45:35 The Land

1:04:32 Dread Possibilities

Aging Up (body horror, "fun skin things") 1:38:07

1:41:39 Parting Thoughts/Aging Up Ends 

1:56:45 D’s Parting Thoughts

Content Advisory for D's Journal (details on content advisories can be found on Facebook, Tumblr, and Patreon)

Mind control (major), corpses (major), death (moderate)

All music recordings are in the public domain (mark 1.0) and are licensed through https://musopen.org:

Chopin Nocturne in B-Flat Minor, Op. 9 No.1 (main theme), performed by Eduardo Vinuela

Chopin Etude Op. 25, No. 12 in C Minor: “Ocean” (darklord theme), performed by Edward Neeman

Chopin Nocturne in F Minor, Op. 55 No. 1 (land theme), performed by Luke Faulkner

Rachmaninoff Morceaux de Fantaisie, Op. 3 - 2. Prélude in C sharp minor (Dread Possibilities), performed by Sergei Rachmaninoff

Chopin Nocturne in E Minor, Op. 72 No. 1 (parting thoughts), performed by Luke Faulkner

Wagner Siegfried, WWV 86C - Funeral March, Finale (postscript), performed by the United States Marine Band

Dialog for Yensid was written by Azalin Rex himself: http://www.tumblr.com/darklordazalin

The Wonderful World of Darklords logo was designed by Halite Jones, whom you can find on Tumblr and Instagram: https://www.tumblr.com/halite-jones and http://www.instagram.com/insta_halite

Contact us on:

Gmail: [email protected]

Facebook: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Tumblr: @wonderfulworldofdarklords

Patreon: www.patreon.com/WonderfulWorldofDarklords

YouTube: @wonderfulworldofdarklord