The Work Behind the Vows

We often think marriage will fix our loneliness, heal our trauma, or resolve our insecurities. The reality? Marriage doesn't cure the battle with self; it amplifies it.

In this episode of The Work Behind The Vows, Julanda and Words share letters to their younger selves, exposing the biggest myths about tying the knot. We discuss why you can't abandon your personal healing just because you got married, and how to put a "reconciliation system" in place so you actually know HOW to reconnect after an argument.

God first. Healing second. Let's do the work.

In This Episode:

- The biggest lie about getting married

- Letter to Word’s younger self

- Letter to Julanda's younger self

- What we thought marriage would automatically fix

- Why your spouse can't be your only source of healing

- How to create a system for reconciliation

- The hilarious truth about setting boundaries (Water Bottle drama!)

🎧Subscribe for more faith-based marriage advice and real conversations every week!

🔔 Turn On Notifications so you don't miss the next conversation

📲 Follow Words & Julanda on socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lyfestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@Wordstaylor

💊 Fuel Your Family's Health with Shaklee: Check out the whole-food vitamins we use for our entire family:

#MarriageAdvice, #ChristianMarriage, #TheWorkBehindTheVows, #FaithBasedPodcast, #RelationshipAdvice, #HealingJourney, #HealthyMarriage, #MarriageGoals, #MarriageTips, #ChristianPodcast, #MarriageCounseling, #MarriageRestoration, #PodcastForCouples, #CouplesTherapy, #marriagejourney , #Spouse, #PreMaritalAdvice, #RelationshipGoals, #BlackLove, #MarriageHelp

Have you ever wondered if you married the right person? Not because you want out, but just because marriage got harder than you expected!

Welcome back to another episode of The Work Behind the Vows! Today, Words and Julanda are breaking down 5 clear signs you married the right person. We’re talking about what it looks like when life gets messy, how a good spouse responds in turbulence, and why true love isn’t about perfection, it’s about character.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why being 100% yourself (the good, the bad, and the goofy) is a major green flag.
• How a strong marriage reacts when an outside force tries to bring drama.
• The critical difference between a spouse challenging you to build you up versus trying to break you down.
• Why we trust character over perfection.
• The importance of genuine apologies and taking real accountability.
• A fun "Green Flag Awards" segment where we reveal what we almost overlooked about each other!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! What is one sign you knew you married the right person? Drop it in the comments!

🎧 Subscribe For New Episodes

🔔 Turn On Notifications so you don't miss the next conversation

📲 Follow Words & Julanda on socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lyfestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@Wordstaylor

Have you ever looked at a couple and thought, "If anybody is going to make it, it’s them" only to find out they are getting a divorce?

Welcome back to another episode of The Work Behind the Vows with Words and Julanda Taylor! Today, we are having a heavy but necessary conversation about the celebrity couples we thought would make it, and the splits that shocked us to our core. We’re talking about the danger of making assumptions based on highlight reels and the myths we believe guarantee a successful marriage.

We also get incredibly vulnerable about our own marriage, discussing the seasons where we looked happier than we actually were, how we navigated church hurt, and the extreme parenting lessons we've had to navigate behind closed doors.

In this episode, we cover:

- The Willie Moore Jr. split and the myth that Christian marriages are on "autopilot."

- Why Words felt completely duped by Will and Jada’s separation.

- Julanda’s heartbreak over Swizz Beatz and Mashonda (and why she stopped listening to Alicia Keys!).

- The intense parenting lesson Words taught his daughter about betrayal.

- The only true thing that guarantees a successful, lasting marriage.

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! What are some qualities that healthy marriages are actually built on? Let us know in the comments!

🎧 Subscribe For New Episodes

🔔 Turn On Notifications so you don't miss the next conversation

📲 Follow Words & Julanda on socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lyfestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@Wordstaylor

#marriage #vows #relationships #willandjada #swizzbeats #christianmarriage #parentingadvice #church #relationshipgoals #podcast

We've all seen the picture-perfect celebrity couples online and thought, "I want what they have." But do we really know what it takes to build a marriage that lasts?

In this episode of The Work Behind the Vows, Words and Julanda Taylor settle into their new studio for a fun, honest conversation about what "couple goals" should actually mean. Together, they unpack the difference between admiration and comparison, discuss why longevity alone doesn't define a healthy marriage, and explain why being labeled "couple goals" can sometimes become a burden instead of a blessing.

Then the competition begins.

Words and Julanda put together their own Celebrity Couples Draft, debating some of the most recognizable marriages in culture to determine their official Top 5. Will Barack and Michelle Obama take the top spot? Do Devale and Khadeen Ellis make the list? Which couple would they actually want to double date?

This episode is filled with laughs, thoughtful conversation, and practical reminders that every healthy marriage has work happening behind the scenes.

In This Episode

• What "relationship goals" should really look like
• Why longevity matters, but isn't the only measure of a healthy marriage
• The hidden pressure of being labeled "couple goals"
• Our Celebrity Couples Draft and official Top 5 rankings
• Which celebrity couple we'd love to go on a double date with
• Why comparison can quietly damage your own relationship

Join the Conversation

Who's in your Celebrity Couple Top 5?

And if you could go on a double date with any celebrity couple, who would you choose?

Leave a comment and let us know!

Connect With Us

Subscribe for new episodes every week as we explore the real conversations, challenges, and victories that happen behind the vows.

Follow us for more marriage conversations, encouragement, and behind-the-scenes content.

Marriage isn't strengthened by occasional grand gestures.

It's strengthened by consistent daily choices.

In this episode we discuss the practical rhythms, rituals, and routines that help couples stay connected through every season of marriage.

From daily check-ins and weekly marriage meetings to prayer, conflict resolution, and intentional family time, they share real examples from their own 16-year marriage and explain why consistency often matters more than chemistry.

The conversation also explores the difference between desire and discipline, why faith without action won't transform a relationship, and how small moments of intentional connection can prevent larger issues from growing over time.

Plus, in this week's "Who's At Fault?" segment, Words and Julanda debate whether repeated date-night cancellations are a sign of poor prioritization or a cry for support from an overwhelmed spouse.

• Daily rituals that build emotional connection
• Weekly marriage meetings and check-ins
• Family prayer and faith-centered routines
• Conflict resolution and reconciliation after disagreements
• Desire versus discipline in marriage
• Why consistency beats chemistry
• Creating healthy rhythms for long-term connection
• Date nights, overwhelm, and emotional communication

Join The Conversation

💬 What’s one conversation couples tend to avoid that actually needs to happen more often?

📲 Share this episode with someone who’s learning how to build stronger connection and healthier rhythms in their marriage.

Stay Connected on Socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lyfestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@healingisalyfestyle

#TheWorkBehindTheVows #HealingIsALyfestyle #KingdomMarriage #ChristianMarriage #MarriageAdvice #MarriagePodcast #FaithAndMarriage #RelationshipGoals #BiblicalMarriage #MarriageMatters

A lot of couples pray for a better marriage but won't do the work to become better people.

In this episode of The Work Behind The Vows, Words & Julanda explore the spiritual work required to build a healthy, God-centered marriage.

From conviction and repentance to prayer and obedience, they discuss what happens when God begins addressing your heart instead of your spouse's behavior.

Together they unpack:

• Why spiritual maturity matters in marriage
• When God confronts you instead of your spouse
• The role of conviction in personal growth
• Praying for change vs. praying for control
• How to stop over-spiritualizing problems
• What it looks like to invite God into everyday marriage challenges
• Why obedience is often more important than outcomes

This conversation is a reminder that healthy marriages are not built by perfect people. They are built by people willing to surrender, grow, and allow God to do His work in them first.

✓ Spiritual maturity in marriage

✓ Conviction and personal responsibility

✓ Prayer, repentance, and obedience

✓ Letting God lead your marriage

✓ Bringing faith into everyday conflict

✓ The difference between control and surrender

Join The Conversation

💬 What’s one area where God is currently confronting you and calling you to grow?

📲 Share this episode with someone who is committed to doing the work behind the vows.

Stay Connected on Socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Visit https://theworkbehindthevows.com/ to Claim Your Marriage Golden Ticket and start the journey back to each other.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lifestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@healingisalyfestyle

#TheWorkBehindTheVows #HealingIsALyfestyle #KingdomMarriage #ChristianMarriage #MarriageAdvice #MarriagePodcast #FaithAndMarriage #RelationshipGoals #BiblicalMarriage #MarriageMatters

Most marriage problems don't start with communication.

They start with emotions that haven't been processed.

In this episode of The Work Behind The Vows, Words and Julanda Taylor discuss the role emotional regulation plays in healthy relationships and why learning to manage your emotions may be one of the most important forms of relationship work you'll ever do.

Together they unpack:

• The difference between venting and communicating
• Why emotional dumping is not intimacy
• How childhood experiences shape adult relationship behaviors
• Emotional maturity vs emotional immaturity in marriage
• Why pausing before responding can change everything
• How to regulate anger without suppressing emotions
• Biblical principles for handling strong emotions
• The hidden danger of reacting from hurt instead of healing
• How emotional triggers create conflict and disconnection
• A "Who's At Fault?" scenario involving trust, transparency, and phone passwords

This conversation is honest, practical, funny, and deeply relevant for couples who want to strengthen communication, deepen connection, and create healthier patterns in their marriage.

Because the work behind the vows starts long before the conversation. It starts in the heart.

Emotions are not the problem. The problem is allowing emotions to govern your actions.

Learning how to pause, process, pray, and communicate with wisdom can transform your marriage and create space for deeper intimacy and connection.

💬 What’s one conversation couples tend to avoid that actually needs to happen more often?

📲 Share this episode with someone who’s learning how to communicate more honestly in their relationship.

Stay Connected on Socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Visit https://theworkbehindthevows.com/ to Claim Your Marriage Golden Ticket and start the journey back to each other.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lifestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@healingisalyfestyle

#TheWorkBehindTheVows #HealingIsALyfestyle #KingdomMarriage #ChristianMarriage #MarriageAdvice #MarriagePodcast #FaithAndMarriage #RelationshipGoals #BiblicalMarriage #MarriageMatters

Everyone wants a strong marriage.

Few people are willing to do the work required to build one.

In this episode Words and Julanda dive into one of the biggest misconceptions in marriage: the belief that healthy relationships are built on a perfect 50/50 split.

The reality?

Marriage isn't about keeping score.

It's about two whole people continually showing up, growing, communicating, healing, and serving one another through every season.

You'll hear practical conversations about communication, personal responsibility, partnership, spiritual growth, emotional maturity, and why trying to change your spouse often creates more resistance than transformation.

If you've ever felt frustrated, unseen, overwhelmed, or stuck in your marriage, this episode will challenge you to stop focusing on what your spouse needs to fix and start asking what God is calling you to work on.

Because the strongest marriages aren't built by perfect people.

They're built by people willing to do the work.

✔ Why marriage is not 50/50

✔ The difference between wishes and work

✔ Why correction without conversation creates resistance

✔ How resentment quietly grows in relationships

✔ Why your spouse's contribution may be more valuable than you realize

✔ The importance of personal growth in marriage

✔ How God develops individuals while strengthening a marriage

✔ Practical examples of partnership in everyday life

✔ A powerful "Who's At Fault?" relationship scenario

💬 What’s one conversation couples tend to avoid that actually needs to happen more often?

📲 Share this episode with someone who’s learning how to communicate more honestly in their relationship.

Stay Connected on Socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Visit https://theworkbehindthevows.com/ to Claim Your Marriage Golden Ticket and start the journey back to each other.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lifestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@healingisalyfestyle

#TheWorkBehindTheVows #HealingIsALyfestyle #KingdomMarriage #ChristianMarriage #MarriageAdvice #MarriagePodcast #FaithAndMarriage #RelationshipGoals #BiblicalMarriage #MarriageMatters

Episode 11 of The Work Behind The Vows is one of the deepest conversations yet.

Not every marriage problem starts with cheating, betrayal, or some huge explosive moment.

Oftentimes, the real damage starts with the conversations couples never have.

In this episode, Words and Julanda unpack what happens when spouses stop being emotionally honest in their marriage. They talk about the pressure to “keep the peace,” the fear of conflict, and how silence can quietly turn into resentment over time.

Whether people realize it or not,

Most couples aren’t just arguing with each other. They’re also wrestling with old patterns, old fears, old survival mechanisms, and emotional conditioning they learned years before the relationship even existed.

That’s why this episode centers around five major ways the past can show up inside your marriage.

1. Attachment Styles: The way you learned to give, receive, protect, or withhold love based on your earliest relationships.
2. Communication Defaults: The habits and emotional responses you fall back on when it’s time to express needs, frustrations, disappointment, or vulnerability.
3. Conflict Scripts: The way you instinctively respond to conflict or high-stress interactions, especially when tension, rejection, or emotional discomfort enters the room.
4. Emotional Triggers: The unresolved wounds, fears, insecurities, and sensitivities that can make present-day moments feel heavier than they actually are.
5. Learned Behaviors: Patterns modeled and normalized during childhood that quietly follow you into adulthood and eventually into your marriage.

Words and Julanda reflect on how childhood experiences, emotional shutdown, and fear of vulnerability can shape the way people communicate in marriage. They also discuss how easy it is to normalize surface-level connections while deeper issues remain untouched underneath.

The conversation also touches on accountability, emotional maturity, and why healthy communication requires both people to stop treating vulnerability like weakness.

Marriage will eventually expose the things you’ve been avoiding, whether you talk about them or not. That’s why, instead of mending disconnection, silence usually feeds it.

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is finally say the thing you’ve been holding in.

That’s the work behind the vows.

💬 What’s one conversation couples tend to avoid that actually needs to happen more often?

📲 Share this episode with someone who’s learning how to communicate more honestly in their relationship.

Stay Connected on Socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Visit https://theworkbehindthevows.com/ to Claim Your Marriage Golden Ticket and start the journey back to each other.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lifestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@healingisalyfestyle

What if the biggest struggles in your marriage didn’t actually start in your marriage?

In Episode 10 of The Work Behind The Vows, Words and Julanda unpack the lessons marriage taught them that nobody prepared them for — lessons about healing, communication, accountability, grace, vulnerability, and purpose.

This conversation goes far beyond surface-level relationship advice.

They explore how childhood experiences, emotional wounds, learned behaviors, and unresolved pain quietly follow people into marriage and eventually get exposed through conflict, disconnection, and unmet expectations.

One of the biggest truths they unpack:

Healing is personal before it becomes relational.

They discuss:

• Why marriage counseling alone doesn’t always solve relational problems
• How individual healing impacts communication and connection
• The difference between talking and truly feeling connected
• Why accountability is uncomfortable but necessary for growth
• How ego quietly damages intimacy and communication
• What grace practically looks like inside a marriage
• Why vulnerability requires emotional safety
• How purpose helps sustain marriage during difficult seasons
• The role therapy played in their reconciliation process
• Emotional cheating, boundaries, and unmet emotional needs
• Why many couples are unintentionally triggering each other’s unresolved wounds

The episode also includes another honest “Who’s At Fault?” segment centered around emotional boundaries in marriage and how emotional connections outside of a relationship can slowly create distance inside of one.

At the center of this entire conversation is a simple but powerful truth:

Healthy marriages are not built on perfection.

They are built on healing, humility, grace, accountability, and intentional work.

Because marriage doesn’t just reveal love.

It reveals patterns.

And if those patterns remain unhealed, they eventually shape the relationship.

That’s the work behind the vows.

👇🏾 Join the Conversation

What’s one lesson marriage taught you that nobody prepared you for?

🎧 Subscribe for weekly conversations on marriage, healing, communication, faith, and relationships.