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The Work of You episodes

  • Navigating Stress + Growth Through The Enneagram - Part 1

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    What if you knew how to travel along the Enneagram map to manage your stress and to integrate new ways of being? 

    Today is about looking at the Enneagram map and learning how to leverage both your Wings and your Lines for growth and stress management. Your main type is only a prison if you choose not to grow and leverage the pathways of the map. The entire model is designed to help you grow and integrate beyond what your core motivation wants you to do so you are managing your motivation and it's not managing you. This episode is a Part 1 where you'll learn how the Enneagram map works and then we'll look closely at the Heart types (2,3,4) in stress and growth and in Part 2 [Episode 16] we'll cover the Head  (5,6,7) and Body (8,9,1) types. 

    Episode topics: 

    • Wings: development access points; nothing you test into they are simply the neighboring types to your main type [EX: Type 1 has a Wing of 9 and 2]
    • Lines: two lines pointing from your main type; opposite your type in some way. 
      • Development pathways and types to help us release strain; AND we also travel these lines under stress
    • See resources below for images of the Enneagram model to grasp the lines / wings
    • Lines as Arrows: in the CP Enneagram model the lines are arrows and the thinking is to work the arrow going "against" your type then work the arrow moving away from your type [EX: Type 2 work the arrow against at 4 then work the arrow toward 8]
    • Growth or Release of Strain: Leveraging the "high side" of a line type – accessible when we feel secure, safe, confident -- the most productive qualities or ways of being that allow for growth and personal integration 
    • Stress and Strain: Defaulting to patterns showing up as the "low side" of a line type – shows up when we feel insecure, unsafe, or under stress, the less productive qualities or patterns of a type, disintegration 

    Coaching Prompts: 

    1. When you’re under pressure, which 'low side' behaviors do you recognize
    2. What might it look like to move to the high side of your alternative line and see how that changes up the stress cycle. 

    Resources | Links: 

    Integrative9: Lines and Integration 

    CP Enneagram: Types and Lines/Arrows

    Book | The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up: Find Your Path, Face your Shadow, Discover Your True Self By, Beatrice Chestnut, PhD and Uranio Peas, MM

    Episode 5: Why The Enneagram is a Leadership Superpower (overview of the model). 

    Episode 10: The 3 Instincts That Shape Your Enneagram Type

    The Grow Effect Coaching Model 

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    27 min
  • Moving Your Brain From Threat to Reward State

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    Have you ever been in a meeting and suddenly felt tense, misunderstood, or even shut down without really knowing why? This will make sense of that moment. 

    When uncertainty or conflict puts us in “threat mode,” our brains can sabotage trust and connection. In this episode, we’ll explore the SCARF model and learn simple strategies to shift out of threat and into reward—so you can lead, communicate, and respond with clarity instead of reactivity. SCARF = Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Fairness. These are 5 domains that influence human social interactions and can trigger a threat or reward response in the brain.

    Episode topics: 

    • The brain’s threat response can hijack your ability to listen, process, and connect. 
    • Understanding the model helps you manage your own reactions AND lead others more effectively.
    • Threat State: Amygdala activates → fight, flight, freeze, or fawn which leads to: narrow focus, reduction in creativity and are less inclined to collaborate.
    • Reward State: Dopamine/oxytocin release → open, curious, collaborative, creative; broader perspective, higher trust, better problem solving.
    • Key Insight: We can intentionally shift from threat to reward with awareness and small adjustments.
    • Examples for how each of the 5 domains: Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Fairness can be triggered and what to do to shift from threat to reward
    • Tips for the in moment emotional regulation.
    • Summary of 4 things to keep in mind to keep people in more of a reward state.

    Coaching Prompts: 

    1. Which of the 5 areas are you most triggered by?
    2. Where in your work do you unintentionally trigger threat states for others?
    3. What’s one new strategy you can implement or practice to support moving people toward reward states?
    4. Notice your triggers this week and experiment with one shift.

    Resources | Links: 

    Test: SCARF Assessment

    The NeuroLeadership Institute 

    The Grow Effect Coaching Model 

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    30 min
  • The Communication Patterns You Don't Even Notice

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    What if the way we speak, listen, and interpret has less to do with intention and more to do with our wiring? 

    This episode is an invitation to become more dialed in to how you move through communication, how you listen, and what your tendencies are for interpreting others words or actions. Understanding your own communication lens is part of building that awareness and doing the work of you. Noticing when and why communication breaks down is also important. We can also assume the way we are wired to communicate is how others are wired. This can lead to misunderstandings – when I subconsciously assume that you are motivated by the same things that I am. OR that you instinctually listen for the same things that I do to ensure clarity, control, safety, or connection.  This episode is about understanding your own communication patterns so they don't derail your message or your relationships. 

    Episode topics: 

    • Words are only part of the message — tone, energy, pacing, and assumptions are all part of communication. 
    • Misunderstandings in communication erode trust and connection. We need to see that conscious communication is the bridge.
    • Two helpful layers from the Enneagram model to recognize communication patterns:  
    1. Core Type | Center of Intelligence – The lens you filter the world through and how you take in information.
    2. Instinctual Drive – Self-preservation, social, or sexual (one-on-one) instinct that determines your focus in interactions – what you’re most attuned to 
    • How each Center and Instinct approaches communication, listens for, and common misunderstandings by type. 

    Coaching Prompts: 

    1. What is the general theme that my communication leads with? 
    2. What am listening carefully for and maybe distracted by when others are communicating? 
    3. What communication pattern can I shift to ensure others hear and understand me? 

    Resources | Links: 

    Integrative Enneagram: Communication Styles of the 9 Types

    Image of the Ladder of Inference

    The Grow Effect Coaching Model 

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    26 min
  • Building Your Leadership Brand

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    Why building your leadership brand is an inside-out job. 

    Think about a brand you absolutely love — maybe it’s a coffee shop, a clothing label, or even your favorite airline. Got it? Now… why do you love it? Is it the quality? The way they treat you? The way you feel when you interact with them? This information is helpful to understand because it works the same for your brand -- your leadership brand. Whether you realize it or not, you already have a leadership brand — it’s how people experience you, what they expect from you, and the consistency (or inconsistency) they’ve come to count on. And just like with the brands you love, that brand is built — or broken — in every single interaction. This episode covers why your leadership brand matters and how to define your own brand experience through Jen's framework -- building your leadership brand house. 

    Episode topics: 

    • What is a leadership brand and why does it matter?
    • What is a brand experience - an example and a reflection on what experience you bring as a leader or a human
    • Overview of Jen's Brand House framework: Brand Purpose, Core Values, Brand Promise 
    • Watch out for brand erosion and what to manage
    • Example of reflecting on my brand and how it's evolved over time

    Coaching Prompts:

    1. If your team or peers were asked to describe you in three words, what do you think they’d say? What do you hope they’d say?” 
    2. Choose one core value you hold. Write down one specific behavior or habit that shows others you live it.
    3. When was the last time your behavior didn’t match the leader you want to be? What triggered that, and what would you do differently next time? 
    4. If you could rewrite your leadership story starting today, what’s one thing you’d keep exactly the same and one thing you’d change?” 

    Resources | Links: 

    Ted Talk: Start with Why -- how great leaders inspire action, Simon Sinek. 

    Jen's Brand House: Downloadable PDF

    Brené Brown: Values List PDF

    The Grow Effect Coaching Model 

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    29 min
  • The Stories We Tell Ourselves

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    What if a story you told yourself wasn’t true? What impact are the stories you tell yourself having on how you live and lead? 

    In this episode Jen explores how the stories we tell ourselves shape our reality—and often get in the way of truth, trust, and connection. She dives into what are stories, a framework called Ladder of Inference, real-life examples, and self-coaching prompts to help manage your own stories. When we don’t have all the facts, our brain fills in the gaps with a story. This happens almost instantly — and unconsciously. We rarely realize we’re doing it. Then add emotion and it really sticks. Our brains prioritize emotionally charged narratives because they feel more “true” and memorable — even if they’re based on assumptions rather than facts. Then we start selecting data that supports our story and ignoring data that doesn’t — reinforcing the same belief loop. This is when the story starts to feel like the truth, even when it’s not at all grounded in facts -- and that's when it causes trouble. 

    Episode topics: 

    • How our brains creates stories
    • A framework to show how we move from fact all the up through data, meaning, assumptions, conclusions, beliefs, action =>  Ladder of Interference 
    • An example of how we travel up through the Ladder of Interference 
    • How stories can impact conflict, culture, and relationships
    • Ways to break the cycle of story making 

    Coaching Prompts:

    1. What’s a recent situation where you made assumptions about someone’s intentions?
    2. What do you know for sure? What are you assuming?
    3. How might the story you’re telling be shaping your current actions or reactions?
    4. What would shift if you replaced that story with a question?

    Resources | Links: 

    Image of the Ladder of Inference

    HBR Article: How to Use the Ladder of Inference

    The Grow Effect Coaching Model 

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    23 min
  • The 3 Instincts That Shape Your Enneagram Type

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    Unpack the hidden drives that shape how your Enneagram type shows up in life and leadership. 

    Have you ever met someone who shares your Enneagram type but acts nothing like you? You might have thought, ‘Wait — are we even the same type?’ That’s the magic of instincts. Instincts explain why two people of the same type can have totally different priorities, fears, and energy. This is another powerful aspect of doing the work of you – both your core motivation and your dominant instinct act automatically, like how patterns can work as we discussed in ep 4. The drive of your motivation is there to protect you and your instinct works similarly – it’s an unconscious reaction – operating like an animalistic instinct. Both your motivation and instinct can take over and run your life if you’re not aware and don’t learn to manage them…so it’s critical to understand which is your dominant instinct and then how to tame it. Be sure to check out Episode 5 to learn more about the Enneagram model and how it works.

    Episode topics: 

    Each of us has all three instincts, but one is usually dominant, one is secondary, and one is least developed or in psychology terms it’s repressed. 

     1. Self-Preservation (SP): survival instinct – the drive is meeting individual needs, fear is not surviving

    • Focus: well being, physical safety, comfort, security, structure. Energy is more conservative, serious, slow and grounded.

    2. Social (SO): drive is the group will prevail – everything for the greater good with a focus on ALL, fear of not belonging

    • Focus: belonging, status, group dynamics, big ideas and ideals; energy: externalized, spread wide, can be scattered/confused, political 

    3. Sexual / One-to-One (SX): the drive is to bond and fuse; fear is not being wanted

    • Focus: intimate or intense or energizing experiences and connections with another; energy is passionate, high energy, intense, competitive, faster pace 

    Learn how to use your 3 instincts for growth and what each instinct looks like when combined with the main Enneagram type (1-9). 

    Coaching Prompts:

    • Which instinct feels most like home to you?
      •  If SF: play with going without one of your comforts or routines for a week or try focusing on someone else’s needs or desires over your own. 
      • If SX: play with moving at a slower pace and finding something to do alone that brings you joy. 
      • If SO: play with prioritizing you over everyone else and not advocating for anything on anyone else's' behalf for a little while.
    • Consider which instinct feels least relatable to you and noodle on how that may be impacting you. 

    Resources | Links: 

    Episode 5: Why The Enneagram is a Leadership Superpower (overview of the model). 

    Website | The Enneagram 9 Types 

    GET YOUR ENNEAGRAM TYPE -- includes the Instinct data; most ideal for professional use: leaders and teams

    ALT OPTION FOR TYPING - also includes the Instincts 

    Book | The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up: Find Your Path, Face your Shadow, Discover Your True Self By, Beatrice Chestnut, PhD and Uranio Peas, MM

    The Grow Effect Coaching Model 

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    32 min
  • Bonus: Reflections on the Inner Work Journey

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    How's it going for you -- doing the work of you? 

    As we approach a milestone of 10 episodes coming up this week; I felt called to drop an "off the cuff" bonus episode. In it I share what came up for me after hearing Oprah interview the co-founder of the Hoffman Process, Raz Ingrasci. And this notion of substituting vibrancy and happiness with success. I also check in and reflect on where I'm at in my own inner work journey since attending Hoffman in 2016 and I nudge you to check in by asking -- how's it going for you since you started listening? This is hard work and it's important to me that we all feel and trust that we're in this together. 

    Resources | Links:

    Oprah Podcast - Oprah on the Hoffman Process

    Website | The Hoffman Process

    The Hoffman Quadrinity™ (scroll to bottom of this page to see the symbol/description of my tattoo)

    Website | The Enneagram 9 Types

    GET YOUR ENNEAGRAM TYPE

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    18 min
  • What if the Enneagram Had a Tail? Learn the 9 Types as Dog Breeds

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    Today’s episode is all about connecting with the Enneagram in a fresh and engaging way that sticks while helping you do the work of you by understanding yourself on a deeper level. Jen taps into the best qualities of each Enneagram type by bringing to light some of the most soulful, intuitive and lovable creatures: DOGS. As a passionate dog lover, Jen shares two breeds per type to cover the different expressions of each type’s energy. Be sure to listen closely for some special dog shoutouts (and check the @theworkofyou Instagram page for dog pics)! Remember – not all types look the same – when you add your dominant instinct into the mix it can look different. This is covered briefly in EP 5, and there will be a future episode that dives into the 3 instincts further and the 27 subtypes of the Enneagram. For now in this episode,  listen for what overarching pieces feel deeply resonate for you -- which dog breed are you? 

    Episode topics: 

    • Dogs are perfect comparison -- because they embody traits we recognize and love. 
    • Reviewing each of the nine Enneagram types starting with the Heart Center (Types 2,3,4), then the Head Center (5,6,7) followed by the Body Center (8,9,1)
    • Each type's core motivation is discussed and the personalities of two different dog breeds per type.
    • Remember: Enneagram types (#1-9) are 100% based on your subconscious motivation; not outward behaviors. 

    Coaching Prompts: 

    1. Which dog description felt the most like you — and why?
    2. Was there a type or dog you felt resistance to? What might that reveal?
    3. How do you show up when you’re at your best — and what kind of dog would that be?
    4. Who in your life might be a totally different ‘dog type’ — and how does that shape your dynamic?

    Resources | Links: 

    Website | The Enneagram 9 Types 

    GET YOUR ENNEAGRAM TYPE -- includes the Instinct data; most ideal for professional use: leaders and teams

    ALT OPTION FOR TYPING - also includes the Instincts 

    Book | The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up: Find Your Path, Face your Shadow, Discover Your True Self By, Beatrice Chestnut, PhD and Uranio Peas, MM

    The Grow Effect Coaching Model 

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    Grow Collective | Coaching

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    23 min
  • Reimagining Feedback: A New Way to Grow

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    What if feedback felt inspiring and inviting vs something you dread or want to avoid? 

    Feedback doesn’t have to feel like criticism. In this episode, Jen explores a new way to think about feedback using the Shift Positive® method — a strengths-based, solution-focused approach she co-created that's centered around creating a supportive feedback experience. Despite the best of intentions most of the feedback methods out there have not been designed with the brain in mind. We'll get into the neuroscience and why it makes feedback feel so hard. Then we'll do into 3 immediate shifts you can make in you approach to gathering and giving feedback to make it far more effective and energizing. 

    Episode topics: 

    • Why we are triggered by feedback - the SCARF Model by David Rock and understanding Negativity Bias
    • What makes strengths-focused feedback different from positive feedback 
    • How to give solution focused feedback vs problem focused to set someone up for successful change
    • Why support is so important in feedback and how to give it
    • Examples of how to give strengths, solutions, and supportive feedback 
    • Client story about their Shift Positive 360 
    • How your Enneagram type plays a role in how you receive feedback

    Coaching Prompts: 

    1. What’s a piece of feedback that still lingers for you — and why?
    2. Ask someone who's important to you: What’s one thing I could do more of to be even more effective with you?
    3.  Ask a small group of people you feel safe with for a strength-based reflection of you and one piece of solution focused feedback, one thing you can do differently. 

    Resources | Links: 

    Book | Feedback Reimagined by Jen Ostrich + Peter Berridge 

    Website | Shift Positive Method 

    Training | Get certified in the Shift Positive 360

    Website | Get Your Shift Positive 360 with a Grow Collective Coach 

    Website | The Grow Effect Coaching Model 

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    29 min
  • The Truth About Change: A Birthday Tribute to the People Who Helped Me Grow

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    Life is not designed to go at alone; neither is change. 

    This episode drops on my 49th birthday so what better than time than now to pause and reflect on some special people who have helped my growth journey. True growth happens in connection — through allies, mirrors, feedback, and belonging. This episode is a personal celebration and a coaching truth: we do not transform alone. If you're a dog lover - be sure to listen to the very end for Koko’s special birthday cameo. 

    Episode topics: 

    • Growth and change is not designed to go at alone and how support can shift our perception of how daunting a challenge appears.
    • The CP Enneagram retreat - how 25 peoples' own inner work reflected back to me where I had more work to do; specifically through body sensations and reactions, I discovered what's deeply repressed.
    • A light tough on Trauma and how it shows up in our body first.
    • Knowing who your people are ...who can show up for you in your darkest moments; and what does "showing up for you" look like? 
    • The power of coaching and having someone to witness your growth, share how far you've come and shine a light on some blindspots. 
    • A cameo from my best partner...my canine companion Koko, the role he's played in my life, and why he's the main character in my book manuscript: DATING IN DOG YEARS.

    Coaching Prompts: 

    1. Who has helped you become who you are today?
    2. Where are you trying to change in isolation?
    3. Who might you ask to walk with you now?
    4. Invitation to send a thank-you message or a reminder to someone you love and let them know you're here. 

    Resources | Links: 

    Website | The Hoffman Process

    Retreat | CP Enneagram 

    Book | The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. 

    Video | Koko Birthday Toast

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    Grow Collective | Coaching

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    24 min

About The Work of You

From the publisher's feed

This is a podcast about the leadership that matters most — the kind that starts from within.

 

Hosted by certified behavioral coach and Enneagram expert Jen Ostrich, The…