One of my favorite quotes of all time by Marcus Aurelius, "Love the Discipline You Know and Let it Support You," has been around for generations in his best selling memoir "Meditations." I explore this quote and what it means for our careers. How did we come to love the work we do? Was it a forced love? Or perhaps a learned love over time?  These questions of our relationship with work are very similar to the same questions we ask of ourselves in our personal relationships. The expectations we have of our work should very much determine what we intend to extract from them and the meaning they bring into our lives.  This podcast poses some very prominent questions to consider.

Likability remains one of my most talked about subjects here on the Working Ant.  Today let's dive deeper into the topic of Likability - specifically how 3 attributes  create lasting and authentic likability - Self Efficacy, Authenticity, and Opening the Doors of Childhood. The more likable you are, the more likely you'll close your next deal, nail your next interview, and build critical rapport in the workplace.

It's hard to believe but we all need a wake up call to what is the obvious, and that is, "What is your job?"

In times like these it couldn't be more important and yet it's precisely in times like these that we struggle to define what we do outside of our title.  And you don't need me to remind you that your title says little about what it is you actually do and the value you bring to your role.

This existential but fundamental question should be the very first thing on your mind.

Ask yourself, "What is my job?"

"What do I do?"

and, "What do I really do?"

Move from process to benefits, from ownership to operator, and align your aspirations once and for all to the role you seek for yourself.

Whether out of necessity or out of principle, ensure you have a response to that question that is compelling, personalized, and quantifiable.

Your career deserves nothing less!

I've often wondered why we consume so much of what doesn't move the needle or at best is neutral in contributing to our personal and professional development. Often times it's because the consumption of what is good for us simply isn't as "feel good" or compelling in relation to the necessity to change and grow. And yet, it bothers us when performance evaluations are inconsistent with how we view ourselves. More so, when we're tasked with projects and programs not of our choosing deep down we knew all along that if we had taken charge when we were supposed to, we probably wouldn't have found ourselves in that type of predicament.  Ironically and hypocritically, our appetite for consumption becomes even greater, subconsciously consuming even irrelevant nonsense with a belief that we'll consume our way out into a better place.  This appears like such irrational behavior and yet we rationalize it continuously in our lives. Make no mistake about it. What you consume you become.

It's that time of year when feedback starts to trickle through. While feedback is so important towards our career, it also is a cause for anxiety and fear of rejection. What's most important is that we don't fall to the mercy of other people's feedback for our own well-being. Do not compromise yourself simply for the approval of others. This is the perfect time to understand that your greatest feedback and approval comes from within.  While we do need good feedback to keep our jobs and maintain the quality of life we have built for ourselves and our family,  take heed towards truth and moral obligation to yourself above all else.

Happy New Year!! It's incredible how the new year has come upon us. Many of us feel compelled to make a decision - perhaps something that has been hovering over our minds for quite some time. And many of us want to make a decision knowing that something needs to change but have no idea how to do so. This episode of the Working Ant addresses these two scenarios with a very unconventional approach using cognitive distortion techniques from the world of psychology.  This basic technique, never once talked about from a career perspective will have you thinking...and then acting...getting you closer to making a decision for yourself in 2023.  It's better to make a decision with the right intentions over not making a decision at all. Move away from comfort and create something compelling for yourself. Your time has come.

One of the strongest forces of human nature is to be consistent with the identity we have developed for ourselves. This identity which has been built over the course of our lives holds within it our strongest values and beliefs about life and our experience of it - what we should and shouldn't do, what makes us proud, and most importantly, the expectations we have of ourselves.

While there may be other mental "pulls" we have tendencies to pursue, the force in which we align ourselves with our identity, is one of the most prominent of all.

On the most basic of levels, we believe we're "this kind of person..."

We've made decisions in our lives a long time ago that "we're not the type that..."

In other instances, when we think of our inner circles and an emotion surfaces of the type of people we surround (or do not surround) ourselves with, it also meets the expectation of the identity we have embodied as sacrosanct.

And then there's the more obvious: Our culture, color of our skin, sexual orientation, religion, where we grew up, country of origin.

In many ways this identity has helped us navigate our experience of life.  It's rationalized our behavior and reinforced beliefs.  This of course is a great thing because writing this today with an audience (you) to read it, shows just how far we have come to be in our positions and work for such a great company. Something to be grateful for and celebrate.

This is not to say however that our identities should be immovable and unshakable.

The bamboo tree, although slim and wobbly withstands multiple storms much better than the oak tree that is firmly in its roots.  Adaptability to changes that are in and beyond our control is what tests our ability to forge new identities - these could be situational, personal, professional, and everything in between.

Holding on too firmly to your identity can hold you hostage to opportunities. Contracting at the slightest attempt to think of new possibilities for yourself is limiting what could potentially be a defining moment for your career. And who wants that?

As von Goethe famously said:

"The hardest thing to see is right in front of your eyes."

As we head into the new year, I ask that you celebrate your identity for achieving everything you have in life up to this moment, and yet keep in mind that a new identity for yourself in the future is always possible, even necessary and overdue for some of us! Recognizing this takes great courage.

In whatever you should choose, in the least choose for yourself.

Be the master of your own identity. Own it. Flex it. Amplify it. Protect it.

It's so easy to have passive, transactional conversations.  

The plethora of short, surface-level interactions we encounter leave much to be desired if our goals are to pursue more meaningful connections with others.   

Your ability to shift these conversations, irrespective of the level or circumstances of those you are speaking with is a tool that is seldom activated or utilized - until you now.    

Deliberately evoking anchoring statements, opening yourself up to more empathetic stories, sharing strong convictions, and ascertaining what has been implicitly said allows a depth of conversation to flow that facilitates stronger relationships for the future.   

Your ability to have more meaningful conversations should be a priority for yourself in both your personal and professional career. 

It starts with you.

This time of year, we reflect, we ponder, we anticipate, often hyper focusing on "If only..." in some form or another:

• If only I had a larger paycheck

• If only I was working on what I believe in vs. what I've been asked to do

• If only I had more time! (Guilty)

• If only my team was...

• If only I made that decision

There are SO MANY situations and circumstances where "If only" paired with "X" dominates our thinking and emotional capital, robbing us not just from reaping the rewards of appreciating the present moment, but preventing us from thinking clearly beyond "What would happen if I had what I was asking for?"

The reality is, we're more focused on thinking about what we wish, could, should, and deserve to have that we stop focusing what would happen if we actually have them.

Conversely, most of us lack self-awareness due to a collective illusion that because we don't have X -> insert vague, little thought out, unclear outcome, how did I even think that in the first place, reason!  This means that we turn our wants into needs primarily because of social influences outside of our own individuality.  This just means that we're prone to a level of reactivity based on the influx of "crap" that invades our purview everyday.

Then again, I challenge you to focus on the question "What would happen if?"

Seriously. What would happen if you attained those items on your wishlist?

What would that mean beyond the moment of achievement?

If we forget what we're truly fighting, striving, and sacrificing for, then how much more of "If only's" will we have vs. "What would happen if?"  Truth be told, I would imagine the former question dominating.

And so we need to...you need to...remind yourself what you're in this for and what really will give you the fulfillment in your life long term.  This may take time to realize and for some longer to crystalize. That's OK.

The most noble of efforts is to know thyself. Nosce te ipsum (Latin)