In this episode, I dive into the whole messy idea of toxic empathy—yep, that thing we do when caring for others turns into completely abandoning ourselves. I’ll share some of my own experiences (because let’s be real, I’ve done this more than once), and unpack how empathy crosses the line from compassion into self-sacrifice. We’ll talk boundaries, what it really means to hold space without losing yourself in the process, and some practical ways to shift from toxic empathy into a healthier, more empowered version. By the end, you’ll be reflecting on your own patterns and hopefully realising that it’s possible to care deeply about others without constantly putting yourself last.

takeaways

• Toxic empathy can lead to self-abandonment.
• Setting boundaries is crucial for emotional health.
• Empathy should not come at the cost of your own well-being.
• Recognizing when you are taking on others' emotional burdens is key.
• Healthy arrogance is necessary to reclaim your space.
• You can be compassionate without losing yourself.
• Self-awareness is essential in managing empathy.
• It's important to discern whose emotions you are carrying.
• Learning to receive help is part of personal growth.
• Empowered empathy allows for connection without self-sacrifice.

If you laughed, nodded, or swore under your breath while listening, that’s a 5-star kind of vibe. Leave a review :)

In this episode, I dive into the messy themes of shame and blame that come with separation and divorce, sharing my own experiences and the insights I’ve pulled from them. I talk about how those feelings mess with your sense of self, the way we take on too much responsibility during and after a relationship, and why boundaries are non-negotiable. I get real about the struggle of dealing with society’s judgments, and why self-validation has to come first. At the heart of it, this episode is a call to power—owning your worth, shaking off the “shoulds,” and stepping into who you really are, beyond what anyone else thinks.

00:00
Kicking Off: Shame, Blame, and the Divorce Rollercoaster 🎢

03:45
My Story: The Hidden Cost of Playing the “Good Ex-Wife” 🙃

06:48
Truth Bombs: Relationship Dynamics and Owning Your Part 💥

10:01
Identity Crisis: How Shame and Blame Mess With Your Head 🌀

12:50
Money, Emotions, and Carrying Too Much Damn Weight 💸

15:41
Co-Parenting Chaos: Keeping It Together (Most Days) 👩‍👧‍👦

19:00
Boundaries 101: Why “No” Is a Full Sentence 🚫

21:47
Society’s Side-Eye: Screw the Pressure to Conform 👀

24:52
Self-Validation: Finding Your Own Damn Stamp of Approval ✅

27:56
Closing Thoughts: Owning Your Truth and Moving the Hell Forward ⚔️

That’s a wrap on this episode. I hope it gave you a little clarity, a little courage, and maybe even a laugh at the madness of it all. If you took something from it, share it with a friend who needs to hear they’re not alone. Until next time, own your truth and keep moving forward.

Nicky XX

In this episode, I’m spilling the tea on my own journey of growth and transformation after one of those “life just smacked me in the face” kind of changes. I’ll share the messy bits of my healing (yep, the ones we’d all rather hide), how I had to get brutally honest with myself, and the surprising way I found my way back to passion and purpose.

We’ll talk about why self-worth is non-negotiable, how community can hold you up when you’re done pretending to have it all together, and why telling the real story (not the Instagram highlight reel) is where the magic happens.

Most importantly, I’ll remind you that trusting yourself and choosing growth over survival is the difference between existing and actually living. And of course, I’ll let you in on what’s next for this podcast and the coaching work I’m here to do.

So buckle up—this one’s raw, real, and maybe the permission slip you’ve been waiting for.

00:00 – Why I’m Bringing This Podcast Back (and What’s Different This Time)
02:40 – The Plot Twists That Changed Everything
05:38 – How I Found My Spark Again (Spoiler: It Wasn’t Pretty)
09:42 – Mirror, Mirror: The Truth Self-Reflection Showed Me
12:57 – Trauma, Tantrums, and Turning It Into Power
16:36 – Finally Learning to Love the Woman in the Mirror
20:27 – The Retreat That Flipped My Whole Identity on Its Head
24:50 – Owning My Shit and Discovering What I’m Really Made Of
30:11 – Boundaries: AKA My New Superpower
33:47 – Gratitude, Growth, and a Glimpse at What’s Next

www.nickyveenvliet.com

Bali Retreat application: https://forms.gle/Vhtzavd6mUxXCTmA7

00:00 Introduction to Self-Love and Gym Culture

06:42Mindset and Personal Leadership

13:03Breaking Habits and Finding Alternatives

18:38Self-Love vs. Self-Hate

26:47The Importance of Feeling Good

35:21Self-Leadership and Personal Responsibility

46:29Practicing Gratitude and Celebrating Wins

Summary

In this episode, I reflect on personal growth and what it means to take 100% responsibility for your life. Diving into the concept of accountability versus blame, how shifting from a victim mindset to one of empowerment can lead to transformative changes and how you always have a choice in any situation.

I share practical, how to steps to help you reclaim your power and take charge of your life.

"Blame is really un-fucking-helpful."

"Shift from blame to opportunity."

"You have a choice in every situation."

life is happening for you, not to you.

Chapters

00:00 Welcome Back and Personal Reflections

06:25 Taking Responsibility for Your Life

11:51 The Power of Personal Accountability

19:10 Shifting from Blame to Opportunity

26:27 Taking Back Personal Responsibility

35:40 Shifting from Blame to Accountability

41:20 Impact of Accountability on Relationships

47:08 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth

In this episode of the Warrior to Warrior podcast, Nicky shares her journey of self-discovery and personal growth after taking a three-month break for self-care.

She emphasises the importance of authenticity, setting boundaries, and recognising limiting beliefs. Nicky discusses the nuances of self-love versus self-respect and the significance of conflict in creating deeper connections.

Through her experiences, she encourages listeners to challenge their beliefs, embrace their emotions, and prioritise their well-being, delving into the importance of self-care, self-respect, and personal growth.

She emphasise's the need for women to treat themselves with the same care they would give to a golden goose, highlighting the issue with the "fill your own cup" message given to many Women. The discussion transitions into navigating the liminal space of personal growth, addressing the challenges faced when the fight for survival is over, and the importance of deep listening in relationships.

She also touches on the impact of judgment and the necessity of walking your own path at your own pace, encouraging listeners to embrace their individuality and self-worth.

ENJOY !!!

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflection

02:45 The Importance of Self-Care

05:50 Authenticity and Boundaries

09:05 Conflict and Connection

11:49 Lessons from Limiting Beliefs

15:05 Alignment vs. Excuses

17:46 Self-Gaslighting and Emotional Pain

21:13 Self-Love vs. Self-Respect

34:37 The Golden Goose: Self-Care and Respect

36:31 Filling Your Own Cup: The Overflow Concept

40:30 Navigating the Liminal Space: Transitioning to a New Self

43:43 What Happens When the Fight is Over?

49:22 The Power of Being Heard: Deep Listening

54:51 Judgment and Self-Respect: Understanding Choices

01:00:15 Walking Your Own Path: Embracing Individuality

Links:

Communication tool kit FREE

https://www.nickyveenvliet.com/become-an-exceptional-listener

Worrier to Warrior Framework Bundle $27

https://www.gofromworriertowarrior.com/framework-bundle

FREE Facebook Group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/gofromworriertowarrior

Why is he so defensive? How do step into my feminine without being seen as weak and what if I'm sick of being told I'm too masculine??

Ladies, Listen up! (and men too if you're smart and want a deeper insight into your Woman)

In this episode I unpack the various elements of the code of human behaviour focusing in particular in the Masculine & feminine energetics, polarity, the differences in our brain and how to tap into your own Feminine AND masculine power!!

Enjoy! Here is the communication link that I refer to xx

https://www.nickyveenvliet.com/become-an-exceptional-listener

In this episode I chat about:

*The trauma response that was keeping me stuck, (that might be creeping up on you too?)

*The renewed faith and reconnection I have to myself and my work,

*How (and why) to move into a space of receiving,

*The difference between being rescued and being supported,

and the Deep Deep Deeeeep connection to the powers of the universe, her plan and her timing.

This one's a super vulnerable share and I hope my intentions are met in my commitment to normalising these experiences for you xx

Ooooooppphhh you guys!!!!

This episode is Soooooo Suuuuper FCKING juicy!!

I'm not even going to attempt show notes. What you AVOID you INVITE! - Nuff said

Get curious and get listening.

HERE is the self paced course I mentioned in the poddy.

Chances are you know what mental load is, what it feels like and how it has the innate ability to creep up on you. What you may not have heard is how different it can be for everyone, how women and mothers are not the only ones experiencing it, and how we can all be more compassionate when we take care of our own mental load... meaning we get to go from competition to collaboration in life.

www.nickyveenvliet.com