The Young Gaffers | An irreverent look at The Beautiful Game

Wherein Our Heroes celebrate both of us having finally completed Stranger Things 2. A double dose of updates are provided, with Patrice Evra on the sidelines until next season, and Social Cut and Shave's Ed offering up some sage wisdom in the Chelsea Barber Saga – London Crop to follow. Daniele De Rossi gets insubordinate as Italy crash out of Russia 2018, and we love it. We are not havin' U.S. Soccer's potentially proposed "Participant Cup". Also, Bruce Arena pulls a gutsy stint on Fox Sports 1, offering up punditry on his former cadre so soon after cataclysmic failure.

Send us your questions or comments via e-mail to [email protected], @younggaffers on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/theyounggaffers

Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes provide tips on how the Gaffers aren't just a footy pod, but can spice things up for couples when need be. The first 88.89% of Stranger Things 2 is discussed, Chelsea's barber is banned from Cobham, and Patrice Evra channels his inner Bruce Lee. Slaven Bilić initiates a 360 review, Rémi Garde finds new life in Montreal, and the Whitecaps crash out of the MLS playoffs. Also, TFC and Red Bulls have a giant meeting of the minds at halftime of their second-leg tilt at BMO Field.

Send us your questions or comments via e-mail to [email protected], @younggaffers on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/theyounggaffers

Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes chill you to the bone with tales of paranormal spaghetti restaurants, ghostly Peeping Toms and cursed artwork in our third annual Halloween Spooktacular! We've seen Stranger Things than the dour 0-0 draws that haunted Vancouver Whitecaps FC and Houston Dynamo but the return legs are sure to give us goosebumps. Also, Sebastian Giovinco reminds us that no wall can stop his murderous free kicks. Hang on to your butts; it's a scary one!

Send us your questions or comments via e-mail to [email protected], @younggaffers on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/theyounggaffers

Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes dissect the dismissals of both Roger Koeman at Everton and Montreal Impact's Mauro Biello. Megan Rapinoe speaks out against FIFA after the Women's Best Player Award shortlist is released, our Barton Award is doled out to an unnamed Everton supporter involved in the fracas against Lyon, and Vancouver Whitecaps hope to see off the San Jose Earthquakes in the first round of the MLS playoffs. Also, Adam finds out he isn't Ukrainian after all…thank you Ancestry.com.

Send us your questions or comments via e-mail to [email protected], @younggaffers on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/theyounggaffers

Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes mourn the loss of Canada's Unofficial Poet Laureate, Gord Downie. We discuss the highs and lows of Baby Driver and Blade Runner 2049. Serie D's Giovanni Liberti receives a 5-match ban for urinating on opposing supporters, or was he just drinking from a pitch-side water fountain? Columbus Crew may find a new home in Austin, Manchester City look unstoppable, and the etymology of San Diego 1904 FC's name is questioned. Also, in sad news for Canadian soccer development, Whitecaps FC II fold and a new chapter begins in Fresno. Sleep well, Gord.

Send us your questions or comments via e-mail to [email protected], @younggaffers on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/theyounggaffers

Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes are joined by Paulie, better known as Bad MLS Comics. Collectively, we discuss Paulie's witty artwork, barn quilts and Canadian pop culture. Also, Wayne Rooney begins his community service at a local garden centre. Mostly, we lament the assured absence of the United States at the 2018 FIFA World Cup.

Send us your questions or comments via e-mail to [email protected], @younggaffers on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/theyounggaffers

Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes gush over the latest trailer for Red Dead Redemption 2. Bosnian player Marin Galić loses a testicle in a cringe-worthy challenge, Cesc Fàbregas admits to being the man behind The Slice, and Alex Morgan earns a Barton Award for her recent behaviour at Epcot Center. Also, the entire gamut of GoT spoilers is covered, for your review.

Send us your questions or comments via e-mail to [email protected], @younggaffers on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/theyounggaffers

Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes reconvene with a vengeance after a month-long hiatus. We respond to our listeners' requests to weigh in on both the Red Green Show and the summer transfer market. Toronto FC sits on the edge of glory, Lukaku asks Manchester United supporters to stop singing about his member, and Rio Ferdinand continues to take steps to become the world's next pugilism specialist. Also, Neymar and Cavani seem to have worked it out, for now. Our Nickname For Areola Contest is now officially open!

Send us your questions or comments via e-mail to [email protected], @younggaffers on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/theyounggaffers

Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes shamelessly attempt to piggyback on Taylor Swift's recent album announcement. Bad MLS Comics shares his most interesting stadium nosh while Brendan asks us to weigh in on the recent lawsuit filed by Barcelona against Neymar. A travelling Walsall supporter receives a surprise upon arrival to his hotel before the match versus Pompey, while Nicolai Müller's knee buckles under the weight of a goal celebration in Germany. The Aaron Ramsey Curse strikes again, Wayne Rooney retires from international duty, and Jason recounts a world-class experience at a recent Vancouver Whitecaps match.

Send us your questions or comments via e-mail to [email protected], @younggaffers on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/theyounggaffers

Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain

Wherein Our Heroes examine the cost of pints and pies at each Premier League ground, and find most clubs are woke. Chelsea have no chill on opening day, while Manchester United are in beast mode. Sheffield United and Middlesbrough supporters leave us salty. Respeck #blessed

Send us your questions or comments via e-mail to [email protected], @younggaffers on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/theyounggaffers

Music by: Bear Mountain - www.facebook.com/mybearmountain