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On this episode of Hello Courageous, Melanie Studley tells us her courageous story of the creation of Anatomy of Marriage Podcast. She tells us about how she and her husband courageously chose marriage over divorce when things got very hard and how that resulted in a podcast. We get into deep conversation about sexuality in marriage and how to handle some of the struggles we face.

I know you are going to love Melanie! If you would like to learn more about her and some of the exciting things she has going on, go to anatomyofmarriage.com or find her here on Facebook and Instagram.

Melanie referenced a couple of very helpful books in the show and I wanted to provide you with links for them, you can find those below. I hope you enjoy the show!

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life

Sex, God, and the Conservative Church

Thanks again for listening!

On today's episode, I interview Fit Rocker Chick, Erin Sanderson. You are going to LOVE her!

Erin is a successful health coach, life coach, and musician. She has developed multiple programs for women who struggle with thyroid issues. She is funny and entertaining and brings a level of no BS to the table that we can appreciate! She tells us how she stays positive and the process she uses to get out of a funk!!

You can follow her on Instagram and Facebook by clicking on the links or by looking for Fit Rocker Chick. You can also go to her website to get more details about She's a Rock Chick at fitrockerchick.com

Common Communication Issues Couples tend to need improvement in the following assessment areas:

* Not believing everything their partner says.* Making comments that belittle or degrade each other. * Having difficulty conveying needs and desires with each other.* Having difficulty sharing negative feelings with each other. * Not listening to each other well. * Getting defensive every time someone disagrees with them. * Being more interested in proving who is to blame rather than looking for solutions.

There are four major communication styles: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive. While the assertive style is usually the most effective of the four, many couples do not use this style as often as they could, resulting in interactions that are frustrating and unsatisfying.

The goal of the Assertive Style is having relationships that don't deny others or us. It is not a strategy for getting our own way. Being assertive puts you on equal footing with others. Assertive communication enables people to express themselves in a healthy, non-defensive, and non-insistent manner. It involves asking clearly and directly for what one wants and being positive and respectful in one's communication. Assertive individuals take responsibility for their messages by using "I" statements. They avoid statements beginning with "You." When one partner speaks assertively, it encourages the other person to also respond positively and assertively. When a person is heard and understood, it increases intimacy.

I'm so excited to share our first episode in the Courageous Marriage Series. 

All relationships have disagreements and fights. All relationships, no matter who they are with, eventually will disagree. Right? So, why not have a plan before it happens.

TJ and I decided after several unproductive, heated discussions that we were going to have a plan.

When I say several, I’m talking years here, not two or three. As we stated in the podcast, we are both headstrong and stubborn, so it took us a minute to get the concept of arguing effectively.

After much anguish we thought, why not have an efficient plan for arguing and disagreeing.

Today we lay it all out here for you. How we have done it wrong, how we TRY to do it right and our best advice on how to argue. I hope you enjoy the podcast. If you did, leave us a comment or a review! Thanks for listening!!

In this podcast we discuss The Clearing Structure, courtesy of Seth and Melanie Studley over at Anatomy of Marriage. You can download the PDF here.

Today my pastor and friend, Mindy Watson and I have an honest conversation and you get to listen in. This conversation is like so many that she and I have, we just recorded it today. We talk about several different things but one of the most exciting is the next I Am She conference. Go check it out and grab your tickets. It will sell out FAST! I have a discount code posted at the end for you.

We say in this chat, "we were all over the place,"

but as you hear two friends talking, I hope you learn about the beautiful heart of this leader among women. On this episode, you will get to know both of us while we discuss all things church, women, and confidence.

This amazing lady has had an enormous impact on my life, and my prayer is that as you listen to our conversation, you become inspired and encouraged by her leadership. I hope you see your very own potential in all we discuss.

I also want to tell you about Mindy's blog.

It is full of the encouragement that in my opinion, all women need to hear. She understands that we navigate life in a crazy busy world of being wives, moms, career women, entrepreneurs, and friends, and I think you will find that God has given her a gift to love women uniquely. You'll find real honest passion and inspiration. As a result, I have been encouraged and driven beyond my comfort zone. She has helped me to see my potential with zero judgment. I think you will discover that as well.

As I mentioned before, we are particularly excited about the next I Am She conference

We talk about some of the details on this episode. If you are interested in getting tickets, you will want to grab them NOW! They will sell out fast! Go to iamsherevival.com and use the code Influencers19 for a 10% discount off your tickets.

We also talk about the amazing internship program at Big Church! If you would like to learn more about it you can clink this link.

You guys keep your eyes on this beautiful soul, she is on fire and I believe God is just getting started!

2018 was awesome in the Scott household. I watched God do some pretty amazing things. Certianly I would never have imagined last year at this time I would have a podcast. Don't you think it is fascinating what you can do when you say yes. But I don’t want to ride the skirt tails of 2018’s blessings. Do you?

So how was 2018 for you?

I hope it has been as amazing as any year you have had. I hope you can look back and see the blessings in your life. As you look back and celebrate all the triumphs and even trials that you have overcome throughout 2018, you need to have an action plan for the new year. I want to help you prepare to have the most successful and courageous year yet! I want you to accomplish your dreams!

Do you have a dream for your future?

Seriously, do you? Because I want to let you know that you can accomplish just about anything you want with a plan. Now don't let the negative voices in your head tell you: it won't happen/can't happen/might not happen/I don't have the time/I don't have the resources... You have everything you need woven into the fiber of who you are! Like the very best sheets, with the highest thread count, and the finest Egyptian cotton, God has you so well put together you will not fail. You won't break down; you were made to withstand a lifetime of wears and tears. Sister, you got this. So let's do the hard work together. Let's plan for your dreams. Let's make a plan for your success.

So sister, you gonna say it with me? "2019 is going to be my year!" Come on, say it again, out loud this time-"2019 is going to be MY year." Say it loud and proud. So loud the haters can hear you. So loud the negativity in your own head has to listen! This is going to be your year!! 

5 things you can do to help prepare for 2019

* Make a commitment. Stay committed to focus on them each day. Pray about how you can take small daily, weekly and monthly steps towards your goals.* Get a beautiful journal and fancy pens and take your thoughts captive by thinking about your thoughts and writing them down. If the thoughts are negative, write out the truth about that negative thought, try finding it from the word of God.* Write your goals every single day! EVERY SINGLE DAY! Furthermore, what a man believes in his heart, so is he. Create a habit of thinking you are who God says you are and write down that you are accomplishing your goals!* Create a new path in your brain by changing your habits for 63 days.* Set goal or dreams. Look at the big picture and work backward from monthly goals, weekly goals, and daily goals to accomplish them.

Goodbye, 2018!

Today TJ and I discuss highlights of the November Gratitude Challenge. We talk about some of the things I taught participants in the challenge.

Some of the key points are

* Its okay to like yourself and your image.

* Be grateful for your image; you are created in God's image.

* You don't fit into a mold, be yourself.

* Everyone has a standard that God shows them to live by, what is yours.

* Look in the mirror and love what you see.

* How do we take our thoughts captive and renew our minds?

I hope you enjoyed our conversation today!

In this episode, Andrea discusses the Enneagram in depth.

She talks about each number and tells us what each number can work on, areas we need to fight for and work on in our lives.

#1-You are very driven, so you need to give yourself a break, you need to laugh. Also, try to see other's brokenness.

#2-You are always helping others, so you need to splurge and pamper yourself. You also need to work on your humility.

#3-You are really ambitious and usually really good at everything you do so you need to do something you aren't good at doing. Also, fight for your integrity.

#4-You  are intuitive, so you need to focus on the positives, acceptance, and contentment.

#5-You are a learner and a loner so you should work on connections with people being more generous with your time.

#6-You are loyal and committed. You need to learn to lean into your feelings and don't bale on yourself and have courage.

#7-You are an enthusiast and uninhibited, so you need to work on seeing something through and stick with it. You need to fight for sobriety.

#8-You are decisive, self-confident but can be dominating. Work on surrender and recognize where you depend on people. Work on helping without expectation.

#9-You are a peacemaker and avoid conflict. Work on having a differing opinion than others. Fight for engagement and action.

If you are struggling with finding your number you could look at the body centers.

Numbers 8, 9, and 1 process information in the gut.

Numbers 2, 3, and 4 process information in the heart.

Numbers 5, 6, and 7 process information in the head.

You could also look at what motivates you when you and connect that with each number.

Andrea touched lightly on our preservation modes. Self-preservation, social preservation, and sexual preservation.

If you would like to take the enneagram test on The Enneagram Institute website click here.

Andrea also mentioned three books that she highly recommends reading that will help you understand the numbers better. The Path Between Us and The Road Back To You and The Sacred Enneagram. You can purchase them below by clicking on the Amazon links below.

The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery

The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships

The Sacred Enneagram: Finding Your Unique Path to Spiritual Growth

Today my guest, Candy Shaw, talks with me about how she has had courage as a business owner. She talks about the wisdom that has helped her grow and become the success she is today. As a celebrity hairstylist, salon owner, multiple hair academy owner, and product developer, she is very busy. She shares with us how she juggles it and faces each day with courage and a positive attitude. You don't have to be a hairstylist to enjoy all the words of wisdom she offers us in this interview. I was so blessed by our conversation, I hope you are too.

In her interview she tells her listeners to reach out to her if you have any questions! I can tell you she means it. Even with all of her success she is still very kind and approachable. Not only those things, she always knows what to say. You are going to love Candy!

You can find Candy on Facebook here and on Instagram here.

If you are interested in her classes or academy, you can follow the links below.

Sunlights Balayage

The Academy at Jamison Shaw

 

Today my guest is a military wife. Her husband serves in a recent deployment. She is a mom of two and a hairstylist. We at Hello Courageous honor the men and women who serve our country and I’m thrilled to have Jana in today as we observe Veteran’s Day. Jana talks about how she managed the stress of being a military wife with children and how their marriage thrived while he was gone. She talks about how she regained control of her life by strategic planning.

Military or not I think you will be blessed by this podcast.

If you know a military family please share this with them. It will bless the spouses and offer guidance as they try to handle such a hard place in life as their spouses serve our country.