WHYDOIHATEMYLIFE? | Many of us are scared to admit that we live a life we’re satisfied with. A life we’re complicit in creating. Our culture teaches us to be unsatisfied with ourself in every way, to motivate us to spend money and be productive. But instead of admitting we’ve reached a level of success we’re happy with, we complain to mask our satisfaction. Through complaining we are trained to hate the very life we chose to allow. Complaining is more than the mere venting of anger. It shapes us into victims of our circumstances. It trains us to ignore the power we have to overcome them. It forces our attention to prioritize dead ends, making it hard to notice all the opportunities for escape. The short-term exhale of released frustration isn’t worth living life with a negative, self-sabotaging mindset. Gratefulness > Complaining #worklife #complaining #thoughts #themissingself #therapy #talking #fyp #foryoupage

SHOULDN’T I BE HAPPY? | After the high of a great success comes the awkward break-up with the goal that once satisfied you. #breakups #happiness #goals #motivation #therapy #askthechair #themissingself #thoughts #problemsolving

I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM? | Our heads are filled with labels and definitions that distract us from the present moment. We spend so much of our lives trying that we are who others think we are, instead of allowing “who we are” to unfold and surprise us from moment to moment. The more present we are in every action we do, the more likely we are to be successful in that action, and as a consequence, become the person we want to be. This video is a little hack to keep yourself from straying into the ego trap of social identity. Love you all! #thoughts #whoami #confusion #life #becoming #philosophy #themissingself #ego

I MADE A MISTAKE 😅 | Back with another chairapy session. I used to spend so much time ruminating on the mistakes I was always going to make, and mourning the loss of a future that I never had in the first place. I used to punish myself with shame and guilt, assuming they were the base components of self-improvement...but I was wrong. I didn’t need them to clean up my mess, to want to be better, and to take responsibility for my mistakes. The error itself was both my punishment and my motivation. In fact, those self-destructive emotions only de-mobilized me, and left me trapped with the energy for change rattling around in my brain, running circles of self-hatred instead of forward towards self-improvement. I know it’s hard to believe, but you don’t have suffer when you make a mistake...you don’t have to translate that opportunity for change as a self-defining moment. You are not your mistakes. You are not your successes. You are just learning. |#mistakes #fails #thoughts #lettinggo #selfimprovement #motivation #themissingself #philosophy #fyp #foryoupage

I FEEL SO TRAPPED. | Our resilience defines the boundaries of our freedom. No matter how many privileges you have, and how many options those privileges affords you, you will never feel truly free to take risks, unless you know you can recover from loss. Focus on making yourself bulletproof to disaster, and watch how easy it becomes to freely change the work, people, and activities of your life. #trapped #freedom #resilience #rut #therapy #thoughts #themissingself #fyp #foryoupage

CAN BAD PEOPLE CHANGE | I had another inspiring chat at my chairapy session today. I realized that “good” is better understood as “well adapted to one’s environment”. I realized how easy it is to think your doing everything right, only to find yourself complaining, frustrated, numb, and panicked about literally everything. If this is happening to you, that doesn’t make you a bad person, it just means your struggling to adapt to the world around you, because you think it’s something that it isn’t. The chair taught me that sometimes changing my world-view, and my beliefs about it, I can completely change my experience of life. I can Become more stable, resilient, and confident. Once I figure out which of my beliefs are harming me, I think It’ll be easier to be the “good” person I want to be! And maybe even inspire others to do the same! :) Thank you all for joining me for today’s session! Sending love and appreciation to you and you all! 🙏 | #thoughts #themissingself #question #answer #qna #fyp #foryourpage #philosophy #good

👨‍👧I RESENT MY PARENTS 👩‍👦| To rebel against the ways of our parents is a natural part of our coming of age story, but For many who feel neglected, confused, abused, and misunderstood by their family, rebellion can quickly turn into resentment. Regardless, of how poorly we feel we were treated, or how much we hate the way our family does things, it’s important to OUR life to find a way to love them. Find understanding for the reasons they do what they do. Find forgiveness for the mistakes they made so you can avoid them. Find compassion for the effort they put into surviving the life they had to face. It’s often not till we grow up and face the difficulties of adulthood ourselves that we learn to appreciate them. It’s never easy, But once you learn to love them despite their flaws, all their gifts, that you share with them, will reveal themselves. You’ll get the chance to prove that their gifts are better off in your hands. And then pray that your children will give you the same compassion for your failings one day. #love #family #parents #growingup #f#fyp#themissingself #kids

🛏️WHY AM I SO LAZY? | Which comes first, motivation or action? It can feel like the chicken at the egg, but we don’t have to rely on the feeling of motivation, of dopamine flowing, to get up and do something. When trying to develop a new habit, we often just need to slog our way over to the activity, and give it a try. We are programmed to seek novelty, and so all we need to do is muster up enough courage to put one foot in front of the other till we find ourselves doing what we were scared to do. We resist doing this sometimes, not because we are lazy, but because our life feels like it’s filled with uncertainty, and one more new uncertain thing might make us unstable. (That’s the precursor to mental health issues) A little hack to defend against this is to organize a predictable environment and routine until you find yourself begging to try something new…which will lead to action…and then might lead to motivation to do it again! | #motivation #energy #productivity #talking #themissingself #lazy #passion

WHY CAN’T I ACHIEVE MY GOAL? | The only thing more important than a well defined goal, is the willingness to say goodbye to who you currently are, in order to become the person who achieves it. The thing that holds a lot of us back from pursuing our dreams, is a fear of being unrecognizable to others and ourselves. A fear of being outcasted and ridiculed by everyone in the process of becoming. Now, some of us might be lucky enough to be loved unconditionally by someone, which might gives us the sense of safety and support we need to fumble our way through changes, but for the rest of us, we have to develop that sort of support for ourselves. If you’re willing to love our own process, there is nothing that can stop you! Sending you all the courage to be who you need to be to love what who you are! | #goals #loveyourself #career #success #themissingself #talking #selflove #imaginaryfriend

I’M REALLY SCARED OF COMMITMENT 💍| Committing to a person forever can sound romantic, but it doesn’t serve you or the person you’re committing to. Committing to stay together unconditionally leaves both people vulnerable to each-other’s changing behaviors. Committing to the maintenance and health of your relationship, on the other hand is much more work, more rewarding, and more resilient to those changes. | #marriage #love #commitment #themissingself #relationships #changing #datingadvice