TheModernMoron podcast

Why I quit… seemed like it was getting stale, I was told it was getting stale, listening to the Senator and me bickering over the same old political issues and politicians mainly. It seemed like I became more interested in my opinions than my curiosity. And this podcast. Podcast? It's more like a one way conference call, but with over 1 million podcasts, think about that… 1 million podcasts, I'm sitting down behind a microphone with my big fat ego and all of it's opinions… and I don't want that. I don't want to have opinions. If anything I'd like to lose opinions. My opinions are like the crap you stick in your garage or a storage unit. It's a bunch of worthless crap. If it had any value, it wouldn't be in a storage unit or collect dust in your garage. That is what I think of my opinions and my ego keeps trying to sell me these worthless opinions as if they have value. They don't. My goal is to evaporate my ego and lose all of my opinions. This podcast doesn't really do that. So why this episode?

I have a bit of a problem. Not a huge problem but it's something that is on my mind daily and it's something I worry about as I'm sure you worry as well. It's our children. I have a soon to be teenaged daughter that is soon to be going into high school. She's got some issues as all kids do and her grades are not currently "the best" and she doesn't particularly like school. Some kids like school and some don't, mine doesn't, at least not right now. And like many kids this age, not all, mine doesn't look to me as a source of wisdom. In fact, based on the tone of her responses and the receptiveness to my advice, she thinks I'm an idiot, or rather a moron. I have to bear some of the responsibility for that. First off I put the word Moron in the name of this podcast and I am also known to use self deprecating humor from time to time so I have not done a lot to garner a ton of respect by my own hand. Still, there are many parents who find themselves in the same boat.

So, grades are not the best right now and her small group of friends seem to be getting better grades and after next year will be heading to the local private Catholic high school to which she now wants to attend. However A) she may not have the grades to get into that school and B) the private catholic high school she wants to go to is even more expensive than the private shool we're sending her to now and I'm not sure I want to pay that kind of money for a kid who doesn't like school. Again, I'm sure I'm not alone in this situation but I have chosen to talk to a sort-of expert. An expert in high school and college preparatory school because she recently went to one, in fact the same high school as my daughter has her eye on. She is now a senior at a liberal arts university in New York. We've talked to her before, she's the Senator's daughter and we talk about post pandemic academic life and how that was just as hard to get used to as it was to go into quarantine. We talk about post graduate work and the perspective on high school advice from a college senior. Maybe you will find some similarities in the changes to your routines as well.

We start our conversation by talking about what it was like to come back to college. I thought she was going to say rainbows and unicorns but it wasn't. It was hard and like most change it took some adjusting.

It's a Re-egowakening with a college senior and a Moron minor on the Modern Moron…

CLOSE - What she said at the beginning of the episode, "the weird thing about time is when you're in it, it feels like forever but once you're out of it, it doesn't feel long at all." The wisdom of perspective. And I love the ease with which she was able to discuss her mental health going through high school and in college. I don't know how another college kid would ever end up listening to this episode but wouldn't it be great if one found it that needed to hear that message of not being alone in feeling alone, or feeling anxious or nervous. You never know.

Next episode, whenever that is that I just show up in your headphones, we'll continue our discussion about writing papers for college, breakups and therapists and good luck finding a therapist since the pandemic, because they ARE ALL BOOKED. Seriously, if you feel you need some therapy right now, and who doesn't, it just isn't available at least in the health care systems I'm familiar with.

We also spend some time talking about what it's like to study art and art history vs. creating art in college. I hope you'll check it out, thanks for listening to the Modern Moron.

Ep. 103 Ted Lasso the Christmas Episode, Old Men Fawning Over Younger Women is So Gross and The Fear of Getting Old

Welcome to the Modern Moron where we take a brief break from the shitstorm that is our civilization and spend some time taling about the hugely popular Ted Lasso, some of the characters and it's co-creator Jason Sudeikis. Part of the show's attraction is that despite the aforementioned shitstorm this planet seems to be currently embroiled in, Sudeikis and Ted Lasso seem bound and determined to find a bright spot, grab ahold of it and refuses to let go. All in the midst of their endearing character's challenges and flaws.

The show is so determined to give us the warm and fuzzies that they even released a Christmas special in August that had all the trimmings of the romantic comedy or rom-com … Love Actually.

For the most part, I didn't care for the Christmas episode. I didn't really care for Love Actually either for the same reason. Too sugar coated for me. I seem to remember being nauseated by Keira Knightley in particular.

However I may need to revisit the film, if for no other reason than for Bill Nighey's washed up old rocker trying to make a comeback selling one of his revamped hits as a Christmas song. THAT is my kind of Christmas character. I also love, love Alan Rickman who is in that film as well with Emma Thompson who is also fantastic. Hmmm, I am talking about a film I don't like, right? Where were we?

Ted Lasso! The Christmas episode. A number of homages to Love Actually in the episode and that's why I didn't like it. Okay moving on… we then begin to talk about our favorite characters in the show.

First off, we can't remember the name of Roy Kent, who is played by Brett Goldstein. He's probably my favorite character because, well he's old - at least by professional soccer standards - and he's angry. What more could I ask for? He also has a podcast, yuk, and I hear it's very good. It's called "Films To Be Buried With With Brett Goldstein". He has a guest every episode and finds out about films that stand out at different points in their lives. Hmm? A focused podcast with a point. What a concept.

Regarding Brett Goldstein, there are two articles in the bottom of the description from Vulture, which is sort of a website covering entertainment and is an off-shoot of New York Magazine.

Here is an excerpt from one of the articles where Brett talks about how he got the role of Roy Kent. I REALLY want to try to read this as Roy Kent but my daughter thinks I do embarrassingly lousy impressions, which means I might do it anyway… Brett says:

"So what happened was — and I still can't believe it worked out, and I also can't believe that I did it — basically, as we were writing it, I just started to think I could play Roy; I really get it. I really get this part. But I also knew it was not the sort of part I would usually play. I usually play a softer character. It's probably my typecast up to that point. So I didn't want to say anything because I thought, No one's thinking of me for this role. And I didn't want to embarrass anyone and make it awkward.

So on my last day in the writers' room, the night before, I [recorded a tape], five scenes as Roy, without telling anyone, and then I sent an email to Bill [Lawrence] and said, 'I've been thinking I could play Roy … but if this is embarrassing, you can pretend you never got this email, and I will never ask you about it.' Then I got a message from him at like three in the morning, going, 'Oh! This is good. Let's see.' And then very luckily it all went ahead."

Regarding Hannah Waddingham who plays the owner of the futbol club, I'm embarrassed to say I get a little too exuberant in describing her statuesqueness. And having to stomach listening to myself is making me more aware that nobody wants to hear an old man talk about the opposite sex in any sort of desirous way except maybe… MAYBE other old men. It's gross. That time has passed, show some class and keep that shit to yourself. It's where the term dirty old man comes from. I wanted to leave it out, but then I thought… fuck it. Just expose the disgustingness of it, but try to learn from it and keep your mouth shut next time.

We also get all tied up looking for a photo of Ms. Waddingham and I try to send the Senator to imdb.com which stands for Internet Movie Database and it's great for looking up that guy who was on that show, you know, I can't think of her name but she did a movie with Tom Cruise. So you look up Tom Cruise and then you see all of his movies and then you recognize the one you saw "that person" and you click on it and find the actor. That goes for writers, directors and producers as well.

Okay, Ms. Waddinghams incredible voice… she has performed for many years in London's West End which is our version of Broadway. In fact, she's performed on our version of Broadway as well where she played The Lady of the Lake in Spamalot.

Finally, the co-creator of Ted Lasso, Jason Sudeikis. There is a GREAT, thoughtful interview with him, link at the bottom, from Indiewire.com, which is a film industry and review website that focuses on independent film. It's about a 20 minute interview and I'm going to play a clip from it that focuses on the one time where Coach Lasso calls out Jamie Tart in front of the entire team. He tries to do it once before when they were alone, but if you remember, Lasso's son comes running in which interrupts what he was about to say to Tart. Tart ends up signing his son's jersey for him and the moment is gone.

But when Lasso does call out Tart in front of his teammates in the locker room, he keeps repeating the word "practice". Jamie Tart skipped practice because he said he had an injury which he clearly didn't and was passive aggressively acting out in protest. But Sudeikis using the word "practice" over and over again is an homage to former NBA star Alan Iverson. Fortunately, you didn't need to know that to see the message that was being delivered in the scene. But if you did catch that connection, there's a lot more going on.

Alan Iverson was a firebrand of a basketball player. He was only 6 feet tall, which really isn't that tall for a player who dominated the way he did. He did an infamous press conference where he was asked about missing practice. He uttered the word practice 26 times…

Almost word for word right?... Even though most people have only heard that part of the press conference, it was at least a half hour long and I listened to all of it so I could find more context. The context that Jason Sudeikis provides…

So here we have the same message about practice, but it's not coming from a cocky soccer player or an young League MVP… now, that same message is coming from a coach. Sudeikis turned it on its head… and it was also the first time we see Ted get fired up in a tough love, stick versus the carrot type of coaching. But it was what Jamie Tart needed. By the way when I mention the character Jamie Tart the Senator says he thinks she's a cutie… I think he was thinking of the character Keeley Jones played by Juno Temple.

So, we have a nice light and breezy episode talking about Ted Lasso… until… I bring up the topic of getting old. Like moving to a senior living facility old. "Senior Living Facility" that is definitely not what they call it. I think it's Senior Living Community. I took a tour of a facility a couple of weeks ago as my 80 year old sister is ready… yes, ready on her own… to move into such a community. It's really nice, but it's also really scary. Actually, I think I'm the one that's scared because I know that's going to be me soon. Sooner than I think or realize… So I make sure and squelch out the good Lasso vibes by brining that up. You're welcome.

CLOSE - I guarantee you this topic will be discussed many more times on this program because it's hugely popular with adults 25 to 49 and males 18 to 34. Wait, that's not our demographic. You know who you are.

There is so much more trivia I could unload on you regarding Ted Lasso but there's not enough time. Isn't there? There's no time limit… it's just the two or three of us. For example, you may already know that Hannah Waddingham played the character Septa Unella on Game of Thrones, which I have never seen, and in one episode she underwent about 10 hours of water torture on set to get approximately 90 seconds of usable takes. True story. I read it on the internet so it has to be true.

A quick COVID note about our friends in this country who are not getting vaccinated. Apparently the states where the COVID variant is spiking happen to be red states, which are also states where vaccinations are severely lagging, can you imagine? Well, here is the Governor of West Virginia, Jim Justice… great name, telling his citizens to put down their conspiracy theories and get vaccinated…

Red state, Republican Governor. God sakes a livin', that's a good ol' boy right there.

Also, as of this recording, The San Francisco Giants are the first team in baseball to clinch a playoff berth!

Okay, that's it for realsies… thank you for listening, please forward this to a few people you think might enjoy it or as a practical joke to some people you think will hate it. Just forward it and we'll see you next time.

Ted Lasso - Apple TV

Ted Lasso's Christmas Episode Made Everyone Lose Their Mind - Vulture | New York Magazine

Ted Lasso's Brett Goldstein on Finding Roy Kent's Soft Side - Vulture | New York Magazine

Ted Lasso Theme - YouTube

Jason Sudeikis on the Hidden Truths Behind Ted Lasso's Allen Iverson Tribute - IndieWire.com

Analysis: This Republican governor NAILS it on anti-vaxxers - CNN

Love Actually, Bill Nighy, Festering Turd of a Record

Jason Sudeikis And Brendan Hunt Talk 'Ted Lasso' Season 2 - NBC Today Show | YouTube

Music: Deliberate Thought by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/?keywords=deliberate+thought

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Welcome to a very full episode of the modern moron, a bit longer than usual. We cover a lot of ground so I'm mostly going to just give you some bullet points… mostly, so you can either be prepared, be in on the joke, or decide to skip this episode entirely. Sort of a spoiler alert without too much spoilage.

Item #1 - The Senator peed his pants… again. If you're a guy and you're listening, you're probably right in this demographic, you've done it too and it's just a sign to us all to stop wearing khakis. But this very quickly segues in into...

Item #2 - A sincere apology… from the senator. Hmm, how do I set this up. We were both in a high school alumni golf tournament a few weeks ago. He and his high school buddies were in the foursome behind my foursome. Through most of the round, say about ¾, the Senator was telling another guy in his foursome to yell certain things during my backswing. Things that might "get to me" and you all know what a delicate flower I am. Well, It's one thing to do that from 2 or 3 hundred yards away, and another to do it from the same tee which is what he did himself toward the end. He yelled from 15 yards away the name of a girl I was in love with in high school that ended in a very gasoline soaked fiery crash. Should I have gotten over that by now? Yes. Is it still a complete dick move by the Senator? Yes to that as well. He came sauntering over right after saying it, and after I shanked the drive, as if I would have no problem with him yelling at me during my backswing, and I tee'd off on him, pun intended. He had been trying to buzz kill my round of golf so I buzz killed everyone's round by yelling an f-bomb ladended tirade in front of eight people and ruined their round, at least for that moment. A couple of complete morons. So that is what he apologizes for. It was sincere and very out of character for the Senator. Good for you Senator.

Item #3 - Afghanistan. We hit this topic a couple fo times actually and this section is about the refugees - Afghanistan or Mexico or Central America, what's the difference? Why do Afghani's get sympathy, deservedly so, but our closer neighbors to the south get no love? Or are they just the flavor of the week and it's in vogue to give them refuge. And how are we going to be viewing them in 5 or 10 years when they are still learning finding their place in our society?

Item #4 - We are reminded that now California Senator Alex Padilla owes over $35M to California Tax payers from money he funneled to a firm that happened to be advising then presidential candidate Joe Biden. We originally discussed this in February of this year on Episode 89.

Item #5 - The Senator refers to a certain Vice President as 'The hooker from San Francisco'?

Item #6 - Afghanistan again… This time it's US Marine Corps Lt. Col. Stuart Scheller who was relieved of duty on August 27th. This happened after posting a video the same day the 13 soldiers were killed at the Airport in Kabul. In the video he calls out the senior leadership for their lack of accountability in botching the withdrawal from Afghanistan. I don't need to tell you that as a soldier, you do not post videos proclaiming any political criticism. Period. You're a soldier and you take orders. But Lt. Scheller did and he was relieved of duty. Most of the coverage of this was from the right because it shines a light on the mismanagement of Biden's Whitehouse and because of that, I went looking for more left leaning publications which to no surprise were not as easy to find.

CNN had a a short article in which:Marine Corps spokesperson Maj. Jim Stenger said in a statement that Scheller had been relieved of command:

"due to a loss of trust and confidence in his ability to command. This is obviously an emotional time for a lot of Marines, and we encourage anyone struggling right now to seek counseling or talk to a fellow Marine. There is a forum in which Marine leaders can address their disagreements with the chain of command, but it's not social media,"

Scheller wrote in a Facebook post Friday after being relieved that

"my chain of command is doing exactly what I would do... if I were in their shoes."

"I will not be making any statements other than what's on my social platforms until I exit the Marine Corps. America has many issues... but it's my home," he wrote.

The other coverage I have is a Time magazine op-ed from a military veteran who writes:

Scheller held battalion command. The Marine Corps is very selective about which officers it grooms to become battalion commanders; the fact that Scheller held that job means he was—before this past week—well-regarded, a Marine with a future in the Corps. Furthermore, Scheller is seventeen years into a twenty-year career. At twenty years, he would have been eligible for retirement at half his base pay with other benefits, like healthcare for life. It took him exactly four minutes and forty-five seconds to throw that all away. Why did he do this?

Until the past two weeks, Afghanistan was not a place, or an issue, most American cared about. In 2018, 42 percent of the country couldn't even say whether or not we were still at war there. Over the past two decades, the war in Afghanistan has been waged by an all-volunteer military and funded through deficit spending. Unlike other wars, there has been no draft and no war tax. It's often been said that while America's military has spent the past twenty years at war, America itself has been at the mall. This has led to a massive civilian-military divide.

This botched withdrawal, in which many active duty as well as retired members of our military are receiving hundreds of phone calls and texts daily from their Afghan allies and their families who are now left to fend for themselves against the Taliban, has only deepened this sense of alienation among many who've served. One only need to look back through history—from Caesar's Rome to Napoleon's France—to see clearly that when a republic couples a large standing military with dysfunctional domestic politics, democracy doesn't last long.

I hope you will check out the links at the bottom of this description, you can also find them at themodernmoron.com under episode 101(?) Moving right along...

Item #7 - Louis Farrakan's bow tie - What can I say? The Senator sent me a link to a speech he gave recently that is NOT at the bottom of this episode. You're gonna have to find that yourself or ask the Senator.

Item #8 - Then we start talking about the recall of California Governor, Gavin Newsome. We begin talking about the what if's of this total waste of tax payer dollars when I stop… and listen and I hear this… (sfx). I let it go the first time, but when I hear it again I'm pretty sure it's the Senator clipping his fingernails during our conversation. I don't know which is worse: hearing him clip his nails as opposed to being engaged in the conversation or the level of disgust I find at him doing it. This show is basically a phone call, but it really bothers me, to no one's surprise, when I hear it.

Which he then tells us he had a masseuse come out to his house to give his family massages. Do you do this? Should I be making a budgetary adjustment to allow for a monthly massage? That is so not on my radar of things to work into the budget. Maybe it should be. Maybe I wouldn't be such a dick if I got a massage once a month. I think I'd need more than one a month.

So, yeah, that's a lot even for a couple of Morons. Thank you for listening...

CLOSE - Did we just sound like a conservative talk show here? Or is it just because we have a democrat in the whitehouse screwing things up instead of a republican in there screwing it all up?

Regarding The Senator seeing Farrakhan on Phil Donahue 20 years ago. Phil Donahue did his milestone talk show from 1970 to 1996… I didn't think he did it that long.

Regarding Lt. Col. Stuart Scheller, I don't think we've heard the last from him. He wrote on September 2nd:

"Going forward, I must remain committed to forcing accountability across our senior leaders. I do not trust that reviews done by panels at the political/military level will bring the change we seek. And I do not trust that it will change unless a strong enough force is applied to the system. Major changes are needed. The system needs to be broken and rebuilt. We need fresh blood and perspective across the entire system. (he goes on)

It's time for a new generation to assume American power. We are ready, and we reject the current system.

This entire experience has illustrated to me just how hungry Americans are for honesty, accountability, and reform across the government. This was expressed to me from ALL political parties. We the people want change. We the people WILL take it. We the people are ALL Americans.

Follow me, and we will bring the whole fucking system down… in a constitutional manner with one loud voice."

As a person who loves to curse and does so way too much, that f-bomb at the end did not help his message. And the, "we the people WILL take it." comment feels a little insurrectionist to this moron. He could be running for political office in the future and I'll be curious to see which party he affiliates himself with.

That's it for this moron, next episode will not be so heavy I promise you, in fact I think we're going to talk a little Ted Lasso… thank you for listening, forward this to someone who you think might like it and we'll see you next time...

Lt. Col. Stuart Scheller Speaks To the American Leadership.… - YouTube ( Channel: The Thinking Conservative)

US Marine officer relieved of command after criticizing military leaders about Afghanistan withdrawal - CNN

The Botched Afghanistan Withdrawal Exposes a Dangerous Fault Line in Our Democracy - Time - BY ELLIOT ACKERMAN - Ackerman is the author of the novel "Red Dress in Black and White" and the memoir Places and Names: On War, Revolution, and Returning, as well as three other novels. He served five tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, received the Silver Star, the Bronze Star for Valor, and the Purple Heart.

Welcome to episode 100 of the Modern Moron! We do have a special guest for this landmark episode depending on how you define the word special. Our guest is special to me as I've known this guy as my bff since junior year in high school. We were both undersized, red-headed umm what? Misfits? Class clowns? Maybe. Outcasts? No, he certainly wasn't an outcast. In fact he was smart enough to surround himself with two of the biggest guys in our class. Neither of us were academics but he always had an angle and the angle was usually directed toward financial gain. My dad loved that about him and when he would come over he would tell my dad that he was the son he never had. My dad thought that was hilarious.

I even had the honor of being best man at his wedding.

My guest, is referred to in this episode as Templeton, he gets that name from E.B. White's classic "Charlotte's Webb's" Templeton the rat. Not because he likes to eat but because Templeton was always looking for that same angle of opportunity… He is also good friends with the Senator. Both of them have something in common as it pertains to the title of this episode and the 6th track of the Beatles Sgt. Pepper Album She's Leaving Home. Both of them are taking their daughters away to college… one for the first time ever and the other for their Senior year, but it's after spending 14 to 17 months at home through the pandemic. Not easy for either of them, but I think in particular for our friend Templeton. You see Templeton is not a particularly emotional or animated person, doesn't like to talk about feelings or emotions, you know, a typical male. But he is very close to his daughter. I don't know all of the things they do or have in common but they do share a love of baseball. They go to ball games together, they talk baseball. She roots for the San Francisco Giants and he roots for the Oakland A's, but it's a real bonding thing and I know this is really hard for him as well as it is for the Senator taking his daughter to the East Coast for her Senior hear of College.

My guest also has a love of practical jokes, which I do not share. I hate practical jokes, but in this case we pull a very short joke on the senator at the beginning of this episode and here is the setup: I use a service called Zencastr to record this podcast. Part of the process is that each participant has to sign in and everyone's name is on the computer screen. I had Templeton sign in with a phony name like "Audio Compression Engineer" or something like that, so if he saw it he wouldn't know who it was. As it turned out he didn't look at the screen anyway, but Templeton decided to play with the Senator's head and chimed in as if he was Engineering our recording session as a third party. Also, it didn't hurt that the Senator had already had his nightly cocktail.

Toward the end of the episode we talk about hiking as our guest had just returned from a trip to Yosemite to go on a couple hikes with his son. Naturally the Senator loves to talk about his hiking accomplishments, namely the Tahoe Rim Trail. But our guest confuses this and says The Senator hiked Pacific Rim Trail in three days. The Pacific Rim as opposed to the Tahoe Rim, Consists of all the continents and countries that surround the Pacific Ocean.. I mean from Australia to the tip of South America and all points in between including: South Korea, Japan, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, the Philippines, China and Russia, Canada, the United States plus all of Central America and Colombia, Ecuador, Peru and Chile. Meaning, the Pacific Rim is a little bigger than the Tahoe Rim, so enjoy that moment.

A couple of tough Dad's get sentimental about their daughter's going from cradle to college on this 100th episode of the Modern Moron. Thanks for listening...

CLOSE - See? We knew what that he meant to say the Pacific Trail but said the Pacific Rim because he was watching a war movie about Korea and General Douglas McArthur which led him to think of the Pacific Rim Theater of operations… wasn't that obvious to you? What's wrong with you people?

As you can tell, both the Senator and Templeton have a tendency to… confuse sayings and mispronounce a phrase or two from time to time. And they both like to rely on the adage of, "you knew what I meant," to which I usually call bullshit. But I sure enjoy it and I hope you did too.

I have a feeling we'll get Templeton back on this program to hopefully mix his metaphors, cause' that is a lot of fun. Thank you for listening, please forward this episode to someone you think might like it, hug your daughter if you've got one and we'll see you next time on The Modern Moron.

Welcome to episode 99 of the Modern Moron. In this episode we welcome back the Senator not that he was gone that long. I mostly berate and harass him which is no surprise, but I really do give him a hard time, downright mean. All because he has trouble pronouncing certain words, in this case the city of Corinth. There is so much moronoscity happening on so many levels in this episode.

First of all we both refer to Corinth as an island. It is not. It's actually an isthmus, which I would absolutely love to hear the senator take a shot at that word. An isthmus is a narrow strip of land connecting two larger masses of land.

Second of all the Senator thinks it's pronounced Cor-Nith. That's right Cor-Nith. Normally that might not be such a big deal but when you are as steeped in the Catholic faith as he is, you hear the word Corinthians quite often. St. Paul was pen pals with someone there and his letters were apparently so important that they put them in a book… it's called the Bible. So you hear it there in addition to hearing it numerous times throughout the 70's from Ricardo Montalbon when referring to their high quality leather.

Wait a minute where did that guy come from? So, the Senator, without pause, calls this Greek isthmus Cor-Nith. Why did it come up? Because the senator wanted to impress someone, a priest no less, by telling him he had visited that island in his world travels. Now, if you're going to talk about, or in this case boast, about your world travels or that you're a world traveler, wouldn't you think part of that worldliness would include pronouncing the places you travel to correctly? And to refer to them by their correct geographic term? Not if your ego is as big as the Senator's.

Then he tries the argument that, "you knew what I was talking about" as if him botching the English language is mostly about my responsibility to decipher what comes out of his mouth and not his responsibility to articulate a clear thought. You know, like your mother used to tell you to "use your words." Like a big boy!

The reason this all came up is because the two of us had just come from a funeral. A buddy of ours from high schools mother passed away. And if you're listening to this it's because you're in our demographic and our demographic is starting to attend more and more funerals, preferably not as the guest of honor. However, we're at that stage and we're going to talk more and more about death and dying as we all approach that bucket for one final kick.

Which makes me think of the expression, "there are no atheists in foxholes." And as we get older, or certainly as I get older, I'm thinking about or trying to connect with… what? God? Jesus, Muhammed, Ginesh… The Buddha? Mortality will tend to make most of us do that. As usual, I don't really have a point, but I thought I would take all the humorous momentum of Cor-Nith and flush it down the toilet.

We begin our conversation with the Senator asking me for permission to do something, which I find to be completely out of character for the Senator, and it has to do with a wild boar's head… yes, the kind you hunt.

Also, halfway through his story he spills his cocktail and really loses it. I find it entertaining but he is really pissed off about spilling his martini. And then… a few seconds later you can hear him spill it again! So much wonderful moronic entertainment awaiting you. That you would never get, by the way, with some celebrity infested podcast or with some brainiacs on some topic from NPR. This is true entertainment from the heartland.

We also talk about Apple's possible move to monitor and scan the contents of all iphones and the right to privacy. So our Moronoscity and thank you for listening…

CLOSE - So there you have it, privacy on a leash courtesy of Apple. You know our conversation went on and on covering a number of additional topics that I may or may not get to because our next episode will be our 100th and I'm not quite sure what or who will be on that show. I wonder how long it will take to even get to it? Should we try for a celebrity? Maybe a celebrity only to this close knit group of listeners? And by close knit, I mean all four of us? The suspense is palpable isn't it? Hope you have yourself a great day, evening or week, don't forget to forward this episode to someone who might like it, we'll see you next time and thank you for listening...

Welcome to another episode of the MM…Wow… long time no pod. I have not posted an episode in over a month. I hit a wall or definitely I had issues with an episode and I went into hibernation. Or I got chicken to publish it so I moved on. Maybe I'll get back to it, maybe not. But for this episode...Going to do something a little different and that is...we're going to try a guest who actually has some credentials. He is a journalist, a publicist and a published author and yes, you're still listening to the Modern Moron. As a journalist he wrote for the St. Petersburg times, now known as the Tampa Bay Times, the second largest newspaper as well as a staff writer for the Washington Post. He has also been the press secretary for one of California's Lieutenant Governors. My name is not Charlie Rose and this is not The Charlie Rose Show. If I were, I would probably be making inappropriate sexual advances to this music…

Now we know why he chose that theme song. But I digress… my guest has integrity even if I do not and we talk a little about working at California's state capital and politicians in general. You're going to be surprised to find that most politicians have issues with their ego's… remind you of anyone?

This session was recorded in early July. And he brings up the fact that the corona virus is starting to spread in areas of the country with low vaccination rates and we've seen how that played out. It is also way before the second mask mandate put in effect by the Governor on July 26th.

He (our guest) talks a bit about his travels in Germany just after the fall of the Berlin Wall and what his overall impression was of that time during his freelance correspondence work and for the book he would later write.

Also, at one point I try to recall a saying which is, "there's no such thing as bad publicity" however I completely botch it and make it difficult for either of us to remember. So, I'm basically letting you know in advance that I already know I'm a moron… see how woke I am?

We're jamming with a journalist on this episode of the Modern Moron and thank you for listening.

CLOSE - Wowwww… what do you think of that!?! Ending on a hard line position like that? Is this what's going to propel the Modern Moron Podcast into the upper echelons of double digit listeners? Was that powerful enough for you? Do you really agree with that and say hell yeah, get vax'd or move to the back. That's catchy right?

Or do you strongly oppose that view like this gentleman being interviewed on the streets of Alabama... Okay, thank you that was great.

Our guest mentioned a book title about the closing of the American mind. The full title of the book is called "The Closing of the American Mind: How Higher Education Has Failed Democracy and Impoverished the Souls of Today's Students"... sounds relevant doesn't' it? It was written in 1987!

Okay, that's it for now, … please forward it to someone you think might find it interesting or if you just want to annoy someone, forward it to them and tell them they get mentioned by name in the middle of the episode. We would greatly appreciate it. Thank you for listening to the Modern Moron.

Welcome to another episode of the Modern Moron and in this episode we turn the way back machine on to go all the way back to college. Specifically… actually it's not specific at all, as my guest is my old college roommate.

We reminisce about being college freshman away from home, the freedom we had and how much we would cut up and laugh like a couple of 12 years old's having a sleepover… no offense to 12 year old's. We talk about how I used to criticize his hygiene habits and behaviors and how much time he spent in front of the mirror. He used to sway back and forth in font of the mirror while brushing his teeth or primping in general. Why do I bring this up? Because he says that his son does the same thing! In passing he mentions that he also has a condition called Achondroplasia which affects growth of the limbs, spinal column and skull. This condition is more commonly known as dwarfism and in most cases requires multiple very invasive surgeries to cope with this condition, but fortunately his son has not, which leads to a conversation about situations in life that first appear as obstacles many times become opportunities to view the world from a broader perspective. Isn't that nice? All from a guy who likes to sway back and forth in front of the bathroom mirror.

My old roommate is very energetic, very passionate, gregarious and bombastic is the word he uses. You won't need to strain to hear us or look at your phone to see if the volume will go up further… it'll be fine.

We start off with a short conversation that I almost left out. I was going to leave it out because it's just too juvenile even for this show. We used to have this gibberish language we used to speak that no one understood, no one appreciated and it, to me anyway is a bit embarrassing at how juvenile it was then and obviously is now… but we still do it. It would almost be like listening to a couple of toddlers in a playpen talk to each other even though neither of them has the capability of speaking intelligently. It's when my roommate says the gibberish word "Skurvathur"… I'm embarrassed saying it and I actually spelled it out in a text to him and he texted back with another gibberish word we used to use… a very riveting way to start a hard hitting podcast. "What podcast do you listen to? Well I listen to the true crime podcast, I listen to the conspiracy theory podcast… I listen to Joe Rogan… I listen to Pod Save America and I listen to a couple of senior citizens speak gibberish to one another. Yeah, thank you SO much for listening, but you might want to keep it under your hat if you're at a cocktail party and the subject of podcasts comes up… say you listen to something from NPR or something on finance… makes you sound half intelligent.

Also, either I curse more than I realize or my guest doesn't curse at all, but I spent a good deal of time bleeping out my… I'm sorry I had our production staff edit out a lot of my foul language. Sounds more professional. It's my college roommate on the Modern Moron...

CLOSE - Isn't it nice to reminisce about the old days? I only played Rugby for a year and I had totally forgotten about all those songs we used to sing after games and now that I think about it, most of those songs were EXTREMELY sexist. There were songs about Dinah and a song about a guy named "Abdul Abulbul Amir" and I don't remember them being very complimentary. There would be a chorus, and during each chorus someone from the team would put their beer stein… or red solo cup on top of their head to indicate they were going to sing the next verse and the song would continue until no one could think of another disgusting verse. Rugby was not played in any high schools back then and I believe a lot of high schools do have Rugby programs now, but I wonder about the after game rituals.

Also, it occurred to me that the only way to learn those songs was pretty much through oral tradition. There was no binder full of Rugby songs, there was no website for Rugby songs which by the way yes there is a website for Rugby songs and even recordings of drunken Rugby players singing those songs, they aren't very audible as most of them are slurring their words but isn't the internet… great? Or is it?

I do have more from my conversation with my old college roommate and I hope our reminiscing brought back some memories of your post high school or college years. Man that was a long time ago and man do I have so much wisdom and so many opinions I constantly want to impart on whoever is within earshot throughout the day. Fortunately most of the time that only involves my poor dog.

Thank you for listening… please forward this to ONE person you think might like this show and another thing about those Rugby songs?... they're a lot more entertaining after about 3 pints.

We'll see you next time on the Modern Moron…

Conditions and Diseases: Achondroplasia - Johns Hopkins Medical

Dirty Rugby Song #1 - YouTube

Dirty Rugby Song #2 - YouTube

Welcome to a program where if you hear the phrase tick-tock you can rest assured we are talking about either a clock or the time of day… it's the Modern Moron

Little bit of a long episode for you and in it we spend a great deal of time talking about exclusivity. That's a good thing right? You hear about something being exclusive that means not everyone can get it, or experience it. And not only does it mean you do get to experience it, most people do NOT get to experience it… whatever "it" is… they're excluded. Now that I say it out loud, this podcast seems pretty exclusive because it's basically it's you, me and maybe one other person we don't know. That's pretty exclusive!

We talk about exclusive brands of alcohol like George Clooney's Tequila who started Casamigos Tequila in 2013 along with two other partners for about 1.8 million… so $600K a piece. In 2018 they sold it for $1B, that's billion with a B, which made him the highest paid actor in 2018 even though he didn't make film.

So be looking for Senator Single Barrel Rye Whiskey coming to a… specialty liquor store? Hmm I think it's going to be more exclusive than that. You'll probably have to go straight to him.

Next up, we talk about the latest investigation into Trump searching for people leaking information to the news media during his administration. Trump went to Apple to get phone records. The Senator is upset because he says Obama did the same thing while he was in office.

Now, you know that the last thing I would ever want to do is agree blindly with the Senator. So… I did look up a couple of things and when I say I looked it up I mean barely… no, I do not read the entire article from newspapers, that's why most decent journalists should write with the traditional inverted pyramid goddammit.

Okay, the articles I'm citing are from a NYT Op Ed. Yes it's an opinion article BUT, it's the NY Times. Also Wired Magazine. You may be thinking, "why Wired?" And I will tell you if you'll calm down and listen to me for a second. I chose Wired because A) I've heard of it, even though they are a tech magazine that focuses on technology as it effects areas of our life including politics, B) because it's another left leaning source… left center and C) because mediabiasfactcheck.org rates them HIGH due to proper sourcing.

From a 2013 Wired article - The Department of Justice secretly obtained phone records for reporters and editors who work for the Associated Press news agency, including records for the home phones and cell phones of individual journalists, according to the AP, in what the agency characterized as "serious interference with AP's constitutional rights to gather and report the news."

The records, covering all of April and May 2012, were seized by the DoJ earlier that year and covered more than 20 separate phone lines. The records listed outgoing calls for both the work and personal phone numbers of individual reporters, as well as the general phone lines for AP bureaus in New York, Washington and Hartford, Conn., and a main number used by AP reporters in the House of Representatives.

And this is from the December 2016 OP ED in the New York Times:

If Donald Trump decides as president to throw a whistle-blower in jail for trying to talk to a reporter, or gets the F.B.I. to spy on a journalist, he will have one man to thank for bequeathing him such expansive power: Barack Obama.

Mr. Trump made his animus toward the news media clear during the presidential campaign, often expressing his disgust with coverage through Twitter or in diatribes at rallies. So if his campaign is any guide, Mr. Trump seems likely to enthusiastically embrace the aggressive crackdown on journalists and whistle-blowers that is an important yet little understood component of Mr. Obama's presidential legacy.

Criticism of Mr. Obama's stance on press freedom, government transparency and secrecy is hotly disputed by the White House, but many journalism groups say the record is clear. Over the past eight years, (remember this was written in 2016) the administration has prosecuted nine cases involving whistle-blowers and leakers, compared with only three by all previous administrations combined. It has repeatedly used the Espionage Act, a relic of World War I-era red-baiting, not to prosecute spies but to go after government officials who talked to journalists.

Under Mr. Obama, the Justice Department and the F.B.I. have spied on reporters by monitoring their phone records, labeled one journalist an unindicted co-conspirator in a criminal case for simply doing reporting and issued subpoenas to other reporters to try to force them to reveal their sources and testify in criminal cases.

Now I don't think this article would be allowed to go to print in the NY Times if those statements were untrue, especially citing the number of cases. Again, I'd take Obama over Trump any day of the week as a president but it's good to point out hypocrisy when it occurs.

And of course, no politician, regardless of party affiliation, wants what they consider classified information to get leaked from someone who is supposedly on their team.

Okay, so then we get to my favorite part of this episode where the Senator tells me he's going on a retreat to one of the most exclusive social clubs on the west coast. The fun part is trying to figure out WHO decided this club is so exclusive. Because when I try to search for it guess which club doesn't show up in any top ten lists of exclusive clubs? He finally has me go to the Wikipedia page for the club he's talking about, but you and I know that either of us can make any statement we want on a wikipedia page so apparently this club is so exclusive that nobody knows about it. Hell, my house is just as exclusive as this goddamn place. I'm the only member. How's that for exclusive? Okay, I've talked to much already and the episode hasn't even started. It's time to get fancy and really exclusive on the Modern Moron.

CLOSE - Wow, long winded. By the way the tequila from way back at the beginning of the episode isn't Geroge Clooney Tequila, it's Casamigos tequila as I said. George Clooney didn't sell his name or anything, that's just me being an idiot. That's it, thank you for listening to this 96th episode of The Modern Moron… you know, for old people. See you next time.

Geroge Clooney of George Clooney Tequila - The $1 billion sale of George Clooney's tequila company just made him 2018's highest-paid actor — here's the story of how the brand was set up by accident - Business Insider

Opinion | If Donald Trump Targets Journalists, Thank Obama - NY Times

Obama Administration Secretly Obtains Phone Records of AP Journalists - Wired

I have some good news for you. The majority of this episode doesn't involve politics! I know, right? A breath of fresh air. Also, my guest is NOT the Senator! How about that? My guest is my OP from my radio days and like you she is coming out of quarantine/ hibernation and like most of you… probably… she's watched a little more television, I'm sorry, streaming content in the last year and change than usual. And we settle on talking about "The Crown" on Netflix. Yes, it's been on for years but since when has this show ever been cutting edge about anything?

Personally, I'm on season 4 of The Crown, which brings in Princess Diana and I'm finding it a bit hard to watch. I remember my mother waking up at 4 or 5 am in the Summer of 1981 to watch the wedding. I never knew my mom gave a hang about that stuff but there she was with the TV on. I heard the TV on so I went in and watched it with her. I do remember how wildly popular Princess Diana was and The Crown gives a look behind the curtain of the royal family and in many, many instances it's not pretty.

In fact, speaking of being behind things like curtains, if you've watched any amount of The Crown, my observation is that the producers and directors really want you to know that these people are imprisoned as much as they are entitled. I have found there to be lot's of camera angles depicting a solitary Queen Elizabeth in shadowed profile, lot's of long shots of the queen through hallways sitting alone at a desk or fancy chair and many shots of Royals looking out a window at what is going on at the gates of whatever palace they're in or who might be pulling up, but always looking out the window and the window panes might as well be prison bars.

So, Princess Diana… I'm finding it uncomfortable to watch some of this as she was part of my generation. She would have turned 60 on July 1st of this year. But in season 1 we find out about a very young, soon to be Queen Elizabeth. Much sooner than she ever could have imagined and she probably didn't imagine it at all because it was her uncle who was King. King Edward VIII.

About 13 minutes in my guest mentions The Wallace Simpson affair. This is the reference to the woman who King Edward fell crazy in love with to the point he abdicated the thrown.

So why wasn't King Edward allowed to marry Wallis Simpson? Well she had been married… twice. Once was enough to put her out of the running back in the pre World War II era. During her first marriage she was touring China and while in Beijing she had an affair with a man, got pregnant and had a fouled up abortion, which left her infertile. How's that for hot gossip? I guess it's not very hot when it happened almost a hundred years ago huh?

Anywho!... the guy she had an affair with? An Italian diplomat named Galeazo Ciano, who would later go on to become the son-in-law of… Benito Mussolini. I guess she had a thing for dictators. Bottom line, she was bad news to the Royal family and King Edward absolutely could not marry her. But she had him hooked big time. You might think of her as the Yoko Ono of the Royals.

So we do talk quite a bit about "The Crown" as it pertains to history and the great actors in the series. Then we have a quick phone interview, our first, with... a politician. My OP used to be a news director and she still has some contacts into that world so… that's all I'm going to say for now. Call it a surprise.

We talk about the Crown and talk to a Clown… on the Modern Moron… I just did that 'cause it rhymed.

CLOSE - I'm not sure how to close this episode as I'm still processing that. Um… maybe this is what we needed to get the Modern Moron to the next level? I don't know. My thanks to my Old Partner and by Old I don't mean in years but my old radio partner and thanks to her for her old journalism connections.

Oh! Here's how we'll wrap up since we spent most of our time talking about The Crown on Netflix. Production has ramped back up and I believe they plan to begin shooting this July so, buy the time you get to this, they could be shooting Season 5! There will be a new Queen Elizabeth as they have changed every two seasons. For Season 5 Queen Elizabeth will be played by Imelda Staunton. While that may not be a household name in the U.S., Imelda Staunton has won at least 3 Laurence Olivier Awards for either best Actress or Best Supporting performances. The Laurence Olivier Award in Britain is the equivalent to a Tony Award over here. In 2005 you may remember she was also the lead in a film called Vera Drake for which she was nominated for an Oscar. Hillary Swank won that year along with Clint Eastwood as director for Million Dollar Baby.

If you haven't seen Vera Drake, and you like films about the commoner, they everyday person and you don't always need special effects in your films, you will not be disappointed. The director is Mike Leigh who was also nominated that year for Best Director and for Best Original Screenplay. Mike Leigh is sort of a director's director who relies on improvisation and that film required 6 months of rehearsal before they began shooting the film.

You WILL remember Imelda Staunton however, from the 5th Harry Potter film "The Order of The Phoenix" where she played Delores Umbridge who took over the school to replace Albus Dumbledore at Hogwarts? Remember how hideous she was? Watch that performance next to Vera Drake and you'll be as big a fan of hers as I am. Can you tell?

Okay, thank you again to my OP and to you for tuning into another episode of the Modern Moron. In fact, if you liked this episode, while you have this open… forward it to someone. That's easier than liking or subscribing right? Or not, just a thought.

In this outdated installment we banter about a number of things including my great idea that Caitlin Jenner should be on a box of Wheaties and we mention some athletes who have been on Wheaties boxes, yes they still make Wheaties, including Kyrie Irving, who the Senator doesn't know and I say he plays for the Celtics when in fact Kyrie Irving is currently with the Brooklyn Nets who are one step away from going to the Eastern conference finals!

NBA playoffs https://www.nba.com/playoffs/2021

We talk briefly about the Kentucky Derby which was all they way back on May 1st. The horse who won, Medina Spirit, had the title stripped due to failing a drug test. The hall of fame trainer Bob Baffert, had this to say…

Should there be a rush to judgement? Should we point a finger? On this show? Hell yes we are, especially considering the horse failed a second drug test for the same substance. This horse is not a team player, he's clearly an addict, the trainer is an enabler and there needs to be an intervention.

What else... The Senator pisses me off in this episode and it wasn't until after I listened to it that I realized I was pissed at him the reason why is that I have to clean up the mess of his sweeping accusations. This is what mouthy McMoutherson mouthed…

It's right after I mention Chuck Schumer, who is Jewish. He immediately mouth's off about the cease fire in Jerusalem between Israel and Palestine which goes all the way back to May 20th so that lets you know how cutting edge this podcast is. Anyway, He voices that he is clearly in support of Israel as is our country in case you didn't know.

But the Senator is upset that democratic leaders have not spoken out in support of Israel in this situation. What would you have Chuck Schumer say? That Palestine set up their military headquarters in schools and hospitals as a cowards move as you stated? Is that his place? And should it just be him as a Senator because he happens to be Jewish? But that would show Schumer's insensitivity to the Muslim population and the Muslim's vote by the way. But Islam accounts for only 1% of the California population according to a wikipedia page on California demographics.

Then he suggests… "suggests" that Israel is better off with Jerusalem as capital of Israel. Something that Trump did while in office… a move that other presidents both democrat and Republican suggested but did not do. Now, I'm a moron… I don't know, is it? Is Israel is better off with Jerusalem as capital? But when I press the Senator as to why that might be a good thing or not, he has no fucking answer. So he brings up a very sensitive subject like the middle east and the capital of Israel being Jerusalem and say, "I don't know". Why is that controversial. It depends on who you ask.

So why did Trump do it:

He fulfilled a campaign promise… period. And he did it while a number of other presidents talked about doing it but did not… actually since 1995 at least. HOWEVER it was said the promise was kept, POSSIBLY, at the expense of the peace process. Is the peace process more important than where Israel's capital is located? That answer is going to be different for different people I think.

Here's what's in Jerusalem that are so important to three of the worlds main religions:

• Dome of the Rock and the Al Aqsa Masque right next to it is the 3rd holiest site in Islam.
• Maybe 50 feet from that is The Western Wall is a pilgrimage site where Jews from all over the world come to pray.
• Then the Church of the Holy Sepulchre is only about 5-600 Yards away from those… so, a long par 5 and THAT'S a long ways from the other two comparatively. The Church of the Holy Sepulchre is where many Christians believe Jesus was crucified. Pretty significant place if you hold Christianity close to you. Frankly, I spoke to Jesus about this and he said, "aren't there airplanes and ships that can take you anywhere to practice your faith… go ahead, spread out. There's plenty of nice real estate in other places."

We end on a lighter note, thank God, when ding dong brags to me that he's purchased himself some Wagu beef. First of all, and neither of us should be surprised by this, he mispronounced it. It's called Wagyu Beef. Wagyu beef is a breed of cattle developed in Japan crossing Wagyu cows with other European cattle to develop a beef that has three times more marbling fat than U.S. prime-grade beef. So this meat has more evenly distributed fat in the meat, otherwise known as marbling. That fat distributes throughout the steak giving you a tender, flavorful experience, which the Senator would like you to know is very expensive. That's the main thing.

So thank you Senator for this extraordinarily long introduction to tie up the loose ends of your big mouth. Thank you for listening to this episode that should melt in your ears like an auditory Wagyu steak…