I’ve been asked to talk about how to begin psychotherapy.  

How to prepare for that first session.

So here are my seven tips to starting psychotherapy.

Well, first of all congratulations on wanting to start psychotherapy.  

It’s a big step and yet many people never make it to talk with a therapist and so continue to live with what’s familiar however uncomfortable that might be.

It’s important to say that just as clients are individuals so are therapists and each will have their own way of starting therapy with you.  I’m resisting the urge to give in to today’s selling culture by saying these are the 

The 7 must haves or

The 7 steps or

The 7 rules 

However, after 25 years of working as a psychotherapist here are my tips about how you can prepare for that first session.

You may have them in a different order or you may have others, but here’s a summary with some personal statements that may also be of help:

Want – I’m as clear as I can be.

Cost – I believe therapy is worth it.

Time – I’m willing to commit

Honesty – I’ll tell my truth

Safety – I’m going to be held through this process

Changes – I’m willing to behave/think in new and different ways

Resource – I’ll make the most of my time with the therapist

I wish you the best of health.

Martin Weaver

Written by Robert Burns in 1788 Auld Lang Syne has been used by many as a way to remind people to remember.  It translates as: “old long since” and in English that means something like to “times gone by.”

At this time of year when the decorations, the cards and the tree  get put away, I can now understand that the song is a means of connecting us with the positive and happy people and times in the past.

I wish you, your family and friends the best Happy New Year...

Martin Weaver

My professional organisation, the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy - UKCP for short, has been running a podcast call 'My Psychotherapy Career'.  In this podcast series members of the UKCP talk about how they became a psychotherapist and various other questions about working in their particular field.

I took part in this podcast in the summer of 2022 talking particularly about my work at the Terrence Higgins Trust in the early 1980s and at the July 7th Assistance Centre which was set up to help the survivors, bereaved and first responders of the 2005 London bombings.  Around these events I talk about my learning to train and work as a psychotherapist, my philosophy as well as my relationship to the UKCP as an organisation.

The UKCP podcast runs for about 30 minutes which is an edited version of a conversation that lasts around an hour.  I asked the UKCP for the audio recording of the full hour and that's what is presented here.  There were some topics that had to be edited out of the UKCP version because of time and yet I wanted these thoughts and ideas to be presented.

You can hear the short version here:

https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/podcasts/my-psychotherapy-career-therapeutic-support-in-times-of-a-crisis/

In this Podcast I review another podcast I presented in 2010 when I came to the realisation that I was at an age my father never reached.  I outlived my father.

We all live our lives in relation to other's and perhaps it's our parents who give us the most important reflections and guidance as to who we are.  When one or other parent dies we have the chance to reflect on our own lives, who we have become and who we still yet want to become.

You can read a version of this Podcast on my blog here: https://www.lifetidetraining.co.uk/single-post/2015/09/03/today-i-outlive-my-father

In this episode I'm joined again by Ike Odina.  

Questions, questions, questions:

We talk over these issues and offer some of our insights gained from our knowledge and experiences.

Beginning with refugees and their journey to our country we look at how we work with people in this situation and wonder, are we here to 'fix'?

We discuss and share ideas about what we might want to do, compared what we can actually do and faced with the uncertainty and the unknowns that develop over the length of the therapeutic relationship, what is our responsibility and how do we measure that?  Where and how does the scientific method help us in our exploration and description of our work, if it does?

In our work with our clients, we suggest, we offer perspectives and choices and maybe these come from and reinforce our biases.  Through the issues of risk, investment and trust we explore how we can become 'better' educators and therefore more effective therapists.

We don't claim to present simple solutions but hope that our discussion will enlighten clients as to some of the issues that we struggle with and  help both trainee and experienced psychotherapists alike consider their own views and beliefs on these issues.

How do you answer the question: Psychotherapy - What is our job?

Welcome to Series 2

It's January 2022 and I thought I'd begin this new series attempting to answer the question about my journey to working as a psychotherapist.

In this episode I reflect on a some personal experiences and events in my life that to a greater or lesser extent focused me or directed me to working as a psychotherapist.  I've chosen to illustrate my journey with a recording of a presentation I gave at an AIDS conference in 1985.  Towards the end of this presentation I rolled together experiences of several different clients and presented them as brief individual case studies.  I think it gives you an indication here of me wanting to respond directly and practically to people’s personal situations that opened the way for me to think and prepare working as a psychotherapist.

After the presentation I give some reflections on how those times affect my psychotherapeutic practice today and a suggestion for therapists' in training.

Happy New Year....

You can view the video of this conference presentation in my AIDS Archive on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/7-VkI8qok_s

You can read more about my experiences during the AIDS crisis and how they shaped my work in this short Blog at the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy web site: https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/news/40-years-of-hiv-aids-in-the-uk/

In this Podcast we talk about how we move from one idea or way of being to another.  That change can be cultural, environmental and personal - a beginning and an end to our story.  How do we identify changes within us in our felt experience and then return to them as memories?  Why do we do what we do as individuals or communities? We think about being supported by transitions defined by others.  Can we feel and think at the same time or do we miss transitions because we are deep in the felt experience.

Finally we explore how we might transition with these podcasts; to continue as we have, change the style or format or maybe it's time to move on and do something different.  What happens when a partnership transitions?

What might be next?...............

You can watch a video of this Podcast on You Tube: https://youtu.be/4xDJgamGQQo

In this Podcast we look back at our previous work.  

Rather like in therapy we take stock of what has happened both in our therapy with our clients and in the wider world and how we have made sense of where we have come.

This is the first Podcast that we have filmed.  

You can see us making this podcast now on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/JOqYMfyEOMc

In this Podcast we begin by exploring some the history of telecommunications and those parts that have directly led to the internet and social media as we experience them today.  We talk about how we manage our communications, the successes and the pitfalls of this new way of interacting.  Along the way we reveal what works and what doesn't as well what we like and don't like.  We offer some strategies and perspectives that we hope will help you navigate around social media.

We end by offering advice from GapMinder and the work of Hans Rosling with a guide to the 10 things you need to be aware of we believe, when using social media.