Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for 80s burger-van feuds, a keyboard prank that goes wildly “professional”, and a revenge plot involving five pounds of fish and three pints of maggots.

Ellie relives a small-town grudge match, a school-disco “sex god”, and the moment her arch enemy gets sacked while she keeps very quiet about the free burgers.

Plus: Wifey swaps her husband’s keyboard dongles and accidentally broadcasts his online obsession to a colleague.

Tony tackles his wife during a rugby lesson (then hits McDonald’s). Then Johnny in the Rockies serves up a Thailand cheating scandal… and may have posted the evidence through the wrong letterbox.

Got a confession? [email protected]