There's Nowhere Left to Go

The holidays are upon us, misery reigns throughout the land, and There's Nowhere Left to Go is wrapping up our first season with a jam-packed xmas medley. Joe Biden has his hands full with a conspiracy brewing out in the Atlantic Ocean. Lia explains how to celebrate the holidays without racking up family fatalities. In other Boomer news, Bob Dylan has sold his song catalog and we couldn't help imagine how horrible companies will ruin his songs forever, so we beat them to it. Meanwhile, we dish with musician Joel Chartkoff on the disturbing quirks of relatives and the beleaguered state of the performing arts (not to mention the performer). Finally, a special message from Super Pony to remind us of the true spirit of Christmas.

In this episode Lia draws on her experience as a nanny to devise a solution to the white nationalist problem (hint: it involves choo-choo trains), and Dan finds out why he and his clan was destined to vote for Biden. Meanwhile, the President-Elect takes his oratory skills to the next level with a little help from the '90s.

12 mins

Just when you thought Florida's response to the pandemic couldn't get any dumber, Disneyland reopened this month. In this episode we enter the belly of the beast, with Goofy and Gov DeSantis as our guides. For a more reasoned perspective, we turn to our friend Etienne Rigo, who manages a cooperative farm in the French countryside. We talk about the pandemic response there, whether we have the capability to respond collectively to collective problems, and whether Batman (as a metaphor for American policing) has too many guns.

In this episode Lia goes Marie Kondo to contemplate the dusty nooks and crannies of our quarantine bunker. Dan gets fired up by Judy Woodruff and the establishment's swift cleaning of house / hollow embrace of the Black Lives Matter movement. Eric Brehm considers the advantages of being an unsuccessful artist in Covid times. And the magical entity called Super Pony answers a listener's burning quesiton: "How can we heal America?"

With the smoke still clearing from weeks of civil unrest, Austin Kelley takes us around the streets of Philly. We talk flash grenades, dollar flip flops, big box vigilantism, and how it might take a magician to beat McFascism in November. Lia explains how America likes to retroactively pat itself on the back for its social progressivism, while discrediting the agents of social change in the Historical Right Now. Oh, and Prepper Bill offers some dos and don'ts on protest etiquette--but it's not what you'd expect. Over and out.

You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of quarantinis and fashion-forward hospital masks. Along the way Dr. Ross Lipton explains to us how the leader of the free world is not so different from a checked out adjunct professor. And we reminisce about Philly's aggressive panhandlers and the blood-chilling customer service style of a farmers' market fixture called Daddy Wolf. Next stop, the Twilight Zone!

In this episode Lia and Dan explore the concept of the fleabag motel that comes to you! On the theme of inner travels, Lia's therapist pulls some Next Level Shit over the phone. And a magical entity called Super Pony arrives just in time to fill the void left by our leaders.

After a full day of spying on the Lawn Master and swiffering religiously, Lia and Dan call their artist friend Eric Brehm. They put their heads together to come up with a plan to save the world from COVID-19 by...ramping up porn production? Plus, the ever-resourceful Prepper Bill returns to discuss the finer points of the quarantine self-haircut.

Lia tries her hand in the kitchen while Dan has a satisfying experience with a take-charge customer service rep. Ella Fitzgerald makes an appearance in the couple's bathroom to class up their hand-washing regimen. Oh, and Prepper Bill makes a cameo to dispense his peculiar off-grid wisdom.

After a week of covid quarantine in their Florida tiny home, Lia and Dan begin to lose it. Exercise, working from home, meditation -- all devolve into a Gray Gardens-esque mockumentary of their former lives. And that's when things start to get interesting.