These Stories Are Not Real

You've heard of Man vs Wild, now, prepare to hear Man vs Google Home. Man also versus himself. And his own cosmic insignificance. And pointlessness. And Coldplay. It's a riot. 

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Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/

Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com

Send an email: [email protected]

More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/

Welcome to the *fun* interim season of These Stories Are Not Real! Some real short episodes for you to enjoy and share! 

Elevator Love speaks for itself. It was inspired by the Guy Sebastian song, yes. Thank you. 

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Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/

Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com

Send an email: [email protected]

More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/

'And there are three voices in your head. Yes. No. And me, who is of course really just you but, you know, semantics.'

Take the Money is an at-times self-involved and convoluted Season Finale, featuring a bag of money and some very external internal conflict. Always listen to the 'Yes' voice, I reckon. It's the one with the fireworks. 

Thanks so much for listening to any episode of the show. Thanks as always to consulting producer Helen Wolfenden and resident artist Nic Lelli (@nicsketches on instagram)

I hope to speak to you soon. 

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Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/

Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com

Send an email: [email protected]

More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/

'It's the airlock, thought Daniel. It's always the airlock.'

Sci-fi nerd Daniel Sky floats towards an inevitable and agonising death, and the Astronaut Adrift undergoes four strange stages of being en route to his final breath. But it's much funner than it sounds. There's even a Chewbacca sound effect.

Only one episodes to go in season one of These Stories Are Not Real! Be sure to participate in the Listener Reward Scheme to win all kinds of prizes—details are on Instagram and the website. And lol have a happy new year. 

Thanks as always to consulting producer Dr Helen Wolfenden, and Nic Lelli (@Nicsketches) for the artwork.

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Get in contact with the show to enter the Prize Pool as part of the Listener Reward Scheme! 

Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/

Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com

Send an email: [email protected]

More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/

'Electric curly hair, eyes like blue milk. I looked at her through the rain and thought, "Yeah. It would be nice."'

Brian is, well, he's a chump. This is his first-person account of being swindled by a travel agent in a regional town, who somehow fuses herself with the Beach Boys greatest hits to bamboozle with great effect. 

Only two episodes to go after this in season one! Be sure to participate in the Listener Reward Scheme to win all kinds of prizes—details are on Instagram and the website.

And have a happy Christmas lol, this ep is really exposing my forward scheduling.

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Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/

Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com

Send an email: [email protected]

More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/

'It felt like she was finally at the fun end of a kite. Like running, swimming and carnival rides all rolled into one.'

Risky Rosie nutcase is stuck to a world that does not get her, and does not like her, so she does what any diligent, big-thinking, young dream will do. She teaches herself to fly. It’s not so crazy. People teach themselves to swim, don’t they?

Be sure to check out the show's instagram to learn more about the Listener Rewards Scheme and win Prizes Prizes Prizes. 

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Get in touch!!

Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/

Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com

Send an email: [email protected]

More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/

'But a regular brush can't beat a wand. Nothing beats a wand! Except for maybe an easel. Fired at close range. But we'll get to that.'

Thanks as always to consulting producer Dr Helen Wolfenden, and @Nicsketches for the artwork.

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Get in contact with the show to enter the Prize Pool as part of the Listener Reward Scheme! 

Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/

Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com

Send an email: [email protected]

More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/

‘There are two things you need to know from the beginning. First, Billy Everest has never, ever said a word. And second, sometimes waterslides are as dangerous as they look.’

Elephant in the Waterslide is the first ever episode of These Stories Are Not Real. Written in early 2018, re-written in early 2019,  totally ignored for a full calendar year, and then hurriedly revisited in October, Elephant in the Waterslide is a story about danger, punks and brain magic.

A version of this story will appear on FBi radio's ‘All the Best’ anthology.

Thanks as always to consulting producer Helen Wolfenden, and production assistance from Ryan Pemberton. Nic Lelli (@nicsketches) did the artwork, good job Nic. 

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Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/

Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com

Send in an email: [email protected]

More of my writing (if you're interested): https://allmyeggs.substack.com/

Just a little sniff, a tiny taste, a modest minute, of what is to come on These Stories Are Not Real. 

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Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/

Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com

Send an email: [email protected]

More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/