Difficult conversations as a leader are the ones nobody else can have for you. You can delegate almost everything, the budget, the calendar, even the hiring, but not the moment you have to tell someone their work is not working. If you find yourself softening bad news, avoiding accountability talks, or feeling guilty for disappointing your own team, you are not alone, and there is a real reason it feels this hard. Left unaddressed, that avoidance quietly costs teams trust, slows decisions, and turns small problems into resignations.
Katie Armentrout, founder of Peoplefluence and host of Think Outside the Boss, sits down with Haider Ala Hamoudi, dean of the University of Cincinnati's Donald P. Klekamp College of Law and the first Muslim dean of a law school in the United States. Haider shares what the DISC assessment revealed about his own people pleasing pattern, why he still returns to Brene Brown's idea of daring greatly, and the specific line he uses instead of softening bad news to a direct report. He also opens up about growing his law school's applications by 50 percent, reaching some of the top bar passage rates in Ohio, and landing the largest naming gift in the school's history, all without losing his team's trust.
If you lead people and hate disappointing them, this conversation will change how you think about that discomfort.
In this episode, you’ll discover:
- Why the willingness to disappoint people, not avoiding conflict altogether, is the leadership skill Haider Ala Hamoudi says took him the longest to build.
- How the DISC personality assessment revealed a people pleasing pattern in Haider, and the specific script he now uses to say no without losing trust.
- What courageous leadership looks like in practice, drawing on Brene Brown's idea of daring greatly, and why vulnerability is part of that courage.
- How Haider grew University of Cincinnati College of Law applications by 50 percent and landed the largest naming gift in the school's history.
- Why being named America's first Muslim dean of a law school adds pressure that has nothing to do with the job itself.
- How Haider separates conflict as a transactional lawyer from conflict as a dean managing his own team day to day.
- Why loneliness at the top is real, and how Haider finds ways to communicate honestly without a peer to vent to daily.
We talk about:
00:00 Meet Dean Haider Ala Hamoudi and his path to leadership
00:56 The two week Harvard program that first taught him about leadership
02:04 One leadership lesson that has stuck with him the most
04:30 How Haider leads differently through difficult conversations
06:58 Does conflict feel different for a lawyer than for a dean
11:23 Being named America's first Muslim law school dean
16:29 Why Haider chose law over medicine growing up
19:18 The move from civil rights law to Islamic finance
22:04 What surprised him about leaving law practice for academia
23:40 Why leadership can feel lonely even with a team around you
30:34 Turning around a law school's budget and reputation
35:41 Lightning round: DISC, books, and his walk on song
Resources:
- Way of the Peaceful Warrior https://amzn.to/3RAhqHw
Connect with Haider Ala Hamoudi:
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/haider-ala-hamoudi-1b96311b/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cincylawdean/
- University of Cincinnati College of Law: https://www.law.uc.edu/faculty/directory/DeanHaiderAlaHamoudi.html
Connect with me
- Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/katie_armentrout
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@katiearmentrout
- LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/katiearmentrout
- Newsletter: http://www.peoplefluence.com/newsletter
- Website: http://www.peoplefluence.com
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