Thirsty for Hallmark

Becca and Robby have been married for 13 years, but they fear the love has died as their careers have taken over. Their therapist sends them on a trip to Gracious, Vermont to reconnect. Will they be able to rekindle their love before the trip is over? If she has the grace of Marisol Nichols and he has the charisma of Kris Polaha, I'd say the odds are in their favor.

I liked the movie, but struggled with a few questions such as:

• How could anyone ever want to break up with supreme daddy Kris Polaha?
• Was this movie sponsored by Safelite to show us how long it takes other companies to replace a windshield?
• Will I ever recover from the trauma inflicted upon me by drinks with candy cane rims?
• Why was my friend's dog doppelganger in this movie?
• Who am I bumping off my top five hunk list to add Kris Polaha?

Also, make sure to listen to the end to hear a very special piece of audio from my number one Hallmark hunk himself, Paul Greene.

We're back! Or should I say, I'm back! I'm reviving the podcast this holiday season because I love these movies, and I want to talk about them!

Noel is a beautiful divorcee with a tween son. She falls for a charming hunk named Jeremy. But she doesn't know that he is also the grumpy scrooge down the street who has been feuding with her son for weeks. And he doesn't know that she is the mother of the brat who has been making his already joyless life even more miserable. Will their love survive after the truth is revealed??

In my first solo-cast, I tell you my thoughts on "Noel Next Door," the first Hallmark Christmas movie of the season. I enjoyed it even though it's a little darker than a normal rom-com. Listen to find out who won the Oscar for this movie, what I liked and didn't like, who I would have played, and what I think happens one year later.

Matt, a son-of-a-baker, is also a baker himself, but his bread is only delicious when he's in love. After Nicole, a visiting ballerina, drops him like a hot cross bun, his sub-par bread threatens to ruin the town's tourism industry. Will he realize he's actually in love with his best friend, Annie, before she leaves to pursue her artistic dreams in Paris? If he's as smoking hot as Brant Dougherty and she has the sass of Eloise Mumford (as well as scores of pastel sweater sets), you can bet that their love will save his bread and the town.

Sadly, this is a Mary-less episode, but Charlie is joined by his good friend, Leah, to discuss "The Baker's Son." We both found it funny and cute, but a touch too long. Some musings:

• Who was the one who decided to BLUR Brant's shirtless torso? Listen, we just want to talk.
• How many pastel sweater sets can one girl own?
• Who choreographed the ballet? Again, we just want to talk.
• Can we have a sequel that is just about the "cousins"?
• How many months was this woman pregnant?
• Who styled homegirl's hair? Like before, we just want to talk.
• Where can Charlie apply to be a gay butler for a billionairess?
• Do childhood best friends continue doing fancy handshakes with each other as adults?
• What exactly was Annie doing to that painting every day on the dock?
• Speaking of, was Mr. Choreographer trying to do more than just look at Annie's paintings?
• Did Noel Khan date any of the Pretty Little Liars?

Plus, a One Year Later for each and every character. Listen to the end for a bonus rant about the dancing.

After a long hiatus, we are back with an unreleased episode from the archives. Paige went viral for getting attacked by goats. Ben jumps off cliffs for fun and profit. When these two opposites are forced to host a travel show together, will they realize that each of them has what the other one needs? If he's got the charm of Kavan Smith and she has the beauty of Pascale Hutton, you know they will!

Charlie and Mary are joined by three Hallmark noobs, Joe, Megan, and Jon, to discuss "You Had Me at Aloha." While we all enjoyed it (and the drinking game we played), we also left the film with some questions:

• Is the line-less camera girl actually the most important character?
• How does Pascale's hair stay so flawless in the humidity and the ocean activities?
• Does Kavan wear a speedo?
• What is up with these accents!?
• And is he cute enough to be a Hallmark leading man?
• When does the sun go down in Hawaii?
• Would you go to second dinner if a hot (or ugly) person invited you?
• Why was the lady pulling the camera guy by the shirt as he walked backwards?
• What's going to happen with Luis and Millie?
• Should we leave the concrete jungle of Aspen and move to the Aloha state?

Plus, we have a sweet One Year Later, some Hallmark conspiracy theories, and, as usual, we each were assigned a character. Make sure to listen to the end to hear Joe demonstrate the "fluctuations" of the actors' Canadian accents.

When a high-powered New York businesswoman, played by the omnipotent Lacey Chabert, becomes the legal guardian of her niece and nephew in North Carolina, will she leave her big city life behind to raise them? Well, if their basketball coach is the smoking hot Tyler Hynes, the answer is a slam dunk.

Mary and Charlie were a little split on the movie, but they both had questions.

• Does a toaster really blacken bread so much that it smokes?
• Does Delilah look like dirndl woman from Winter in Vail?
• Why is Charlie mansplaining bagel mode?
• How come she packs a sheet? How come?
• Why was Lacey simultaneously straightening her hair, blow-drying it, and using a Waterpik at 4 am?
• Did homeboy really need to dump a whole bag of flour on her head?
• Where did dad get his cardigans?
• Did ex-boyfriend have to be so savage?
• How awkward is it that her brother played her boyfriend in another move?

Also, weigh in on Instagram on which Juilliard grads are richer and listen to Mary's final rant about When Calls the Heart.

When a pretty travel agent who once flooded an entire hotel meets a tall owner of an ice hotel, will she make his heart melt?

You know she will, even after causing gaffe after gaffe that could jeopardize the hotel's reputation! At least she didn't flood it, though!

While this movie wasn't one of our favorites, it did have a lot of fun moments and some great performances. We have many questions though:

• Why are we getting a new winter movie in May when we also got spring movies in February?
• Is Phoebe the worst bff ever?
• Why did Sean dump her and then want her back?
• Where do you curl your hair when staying at an ice hotel?
• What exactly was the end product of the glass-making class?
• Does Hallmark owe us cupcakes?
• How many months until Hannah melts and floods the Finland ice hotel?
• Why didn't Bridget get a man?

Plus, you don't want to miss Mary's rant about the season eight finale of When Calls The Heart so listen to the end to hear that.

When a fancy New York chef inherits a diner in Australia, will the handsome cook be able to convince her to stay down under? If she's got the breezy charisma of Cindy Busby and he has the sparkling eyes of Tim Ross, she just might put another shrimp on the barbie.

Mary and Charlie both liked "Hearts Down Under." More than most Hallmark movies, this one left us with questions:

• How are they going to make this long-long-distance relationship work? Where was our three month later?
• Are the patrons of the restaurant going to have to eat those contaminated corn flakes?
• What does Caroline have against poor Tiny?
• Is it smart to trust Marla after she purposely broke her workplace's electrical system?
• Does Cindy Busby require that her leading men always have a shirtless scene?
• How and when did homegirl get that amazing booty?
• Where is Hallmark hiding Merritt and Julie and Bethany Joy?
• Does anyone enjoy splashing?

Plus, we cast ourselves in plum roles, award an Oscar to an unsung hero of the film, and Mary tells us about a fascinating Hallmark classic that she saw on the mysterious channel, UpTV.

When you end up at a wedding with your hunky college crush, can a good-looking chef redirect your interest with fusion cuisine? If you've got the sassy and sweet personality of Janel Parrish and he's got the abs and charm of Marco Grazzini, the way to a woman's heart just might be through her stomach.

Mary and Charlie enjoyed this fashion and food-filled romp. As usual, we have a few questions:

• Seriously, who is getting the earrings and where can Mary find them?
• Why did she choose such a severe black look to wear to a spring wedding?
• Did they really need to hide Marco's abs?
• Who did Jason Cermak cross at Hallmark? He deserves more!
• Couldn't they have picked a different memento than the food she's allergic to?
• Has Janel finally transcended the "Mona" stigma?
• Did Chef Nick set the world record in empanada-making speed?
• Do wedding stylists really exist?!

Plus, find out which of the many daddies of this movie won the T4H Oscar! And listen to the end for a signature Mary rant about When Calls the Heart.

When your job sends you to Ireland to buy a castle so they can tear it down and build a hotel, how likely is it that you will find love with the man who most wants to keep the castle standing? If you've got the charm and gorgeous wavy hair of Joanna Garcia Swisher and he's got the smoldering blue eyes and confidence of Alan Leech, let's say luck is on your side.

Join Charlie and Mary to discuss "As Luck Would Have It," which we agreed is one of the best Hallmark movies ever. From the beautiful scenery to the sizzling chemistry to the fun activities, this movie had it all! Nevertheless, we have a few questions:

• What is gay football?
• Can we start our own matchmaking festival here in Aspen?
• Where did they get the aprons?
• Can we get another movie about maple syrup (it's been almost six months!)?
• Why does Charlie's dog like Mary more??

Plus learn the foolproof way to find out if someone likes you! Please follow us on TikTok @thirstyforhallmark to see our series of "Lessons I learned from real Hallmark movies."

They had "One Winter Weekend" and "One Winter Proposal," but, with chaos surrounding them, can Cara and Ben make it to "I do"? And can Megan and Sean make it to "she said yes"? If the title is any clue, we can be reasonably sure all will end well.

Join Mary and Charlie to discuss "One Perfect Wedding," the third installment of this series about two sets of best friends who fall in love with each other in a romantic ski chalet.

Though the characters were familiar, the movie was a little funky. It left us with questions. For example:

• How did anyone keep the myriad of stories straight?
• Where is the ponytail helmet that was conceived in the first movie and produced in the second?
• What happened to the sexy sauna shirtless scenes from the first two movies?
• How much was the earring budget for this film?
• Who, in Canada, let homegirl call it a nikoise salad?
• Why didn't they have Sean come to the wedding and proposed in person?

Listen to the end to hear Mary's thoughts on the current state of When Calls the Heart, and vote on Instagram for who you think deserves the Oscar this week: Goldie or Daniel.