Some topics demand a dedicated episode… and others just pile up into one big grab bag of things that absolutely should not matter, but somehow do. In this week’s episode of This Doesn’t Matter, But It Should, we cover a little bit of everything: the proper way to apply chapstick, why John insists his hot food be scorching hot and his cold food be ice cold, his firm stance against mixing flavor profiles, and the thrilling developments of our town’s new recycling program. Oh, and let us not forget John’s baffling refusal to tie his sneakers when going for a walk. And if you are mourning the loss of the free Mini Crossword, we feel your pain. It is a medley of small frustrations, big opinions, and rules you did not know you needed.

John refuses to use blankets or pillows on the couch—just him, the cushions, and a firm belief that this is the only way to sit. Meanwhile, Kristan operates in a world of maximum comfort, where layers of blankets, an excessive number of pillows, and total stillness are non-negotiable. In this episode of This Doesn’t Matter, But It Should, we unpack the great couching divide: John’s minimalist, constantly-in-motion approach versus the other side’s commitment to sprawling in a carefully cultivated nest of chaos. He does not think they are wrong—he just does not understand how they live like this.

Plus, we’ve got a special guest appearance from a Gen Z’er who weighs in on this generational couching conundrum!

Grocery shopping seems simple—until you do it wrong. In this episode of This Doesn’t Matter, But It Should, John lays out his structured (yet slightly unhinged) approach to navigating the store with maximum efficiency. We break down his ‘Need List’ vs. ‘Don’t Need List’ system, debate what happens when a critical item is missing from the haul (panic? improvisation? pure despair?), and get completely sidetracked along the way. If you have ever felt personally victimized when running out of a kitchen staple at the worst possible time, or found yourself questioning the best grocery store strategy, this one’s for you.

Some people have one sump pump. Others have none. We are not those people. In this episode of This Doesn’t Matter, But It Should, we unravel the mystery of our excessive sump pump collection—why we have so many, what they actually do, and how they’ve somehow become a defining feature of our lives. We break down the fine art of sump pump maintenance, debate when to plug and unplug, and John argues why ignoring your sump pump is a risk you do not want to take. If you have ever found yourself awake at night wondering about basement drainage (or just enjoy a good, unnecessary deep dive), this one’s for you.

In this episode ofThis Doesn’t Matter, But It Should, we tackle one of life’s most overlooked essentials—the outside fridge. John argues why it's not just a luxury but a must-have for every household. We cover the perfect setup, the ideal location, and what shouldactually go in it. Plus, we dive into when and how to use it without turning it into an overpriced storage unit. Tune in for the ultimate guide to maximizing your fridge’s potential!

In this episode ofThis Doesn’t Matter, But It Should, we dive into the world of cargo pants. Are they the perfect mix of style and practicality, or just an overcomplicated fashion statement? We explore what makes cargo pants both too ridiculous and surprisingly functional. From who should wear them to how to pull them off, we’ve got all the insights on this polarizing wardrobe staple.

In this episode ofThis Doesn’t Matter, But It Should, John gives his no-holds-barred take on why the supply chain can’t be trusted. We dive into how to avoid being caught off guard by its shortcomings and discuss the right amount of preparation needed to stay ahead of the chaos. If you’ve ever wondered how much stockpile is too much, this one’s for you!