“When we’re attached to outcomes, we can rob ourselves of peace, growth, and joy. True freedom comes when we show up fully—but let go of the need for things to turn out a certain way. Can I get an Amen!”

Attachment: “If this doesn’t happen, I’ll feel like a failure.”

Detachment: “I did everything I could. The rest isn’t mine to carry.”

Am I ATTACHED Assessment:

Do I feel anxious or unworthy if this doesn’t go a certain way?

Am I obsessively thinking about this outcome?

Would I be okay if this didn’t happen?

Here are some of the lessons learned from trying to GET RICH QUICK

1. “The world has a beautiful way of showing you where you are wrong” Dan Martell

2. Reframing painful financial decisions

3. The Law of the Harvest

4. “Money makes you more of what you already are” Dave Ramsey

5. If money wasn’t an issue, who would you be?

6. Calculated Risk vs Blind Shot

Within the span of a few years, our friend Robin has endured some truly challenging trials. His example of how to respond to adversity is inspiring to us—and will inspire many who listen to this interview.

• Prostate cancer

• An eating disorder

• Strokes

• A misdiagnosis of Alzheimer’s

“God means what He says…”

“…so let us mean what we do!”

Robin generously shares some of the triumphs he’s experienced with his health, as well as powerful lessons he’s learned and truths that have been reinforced in his life.

We can all learn from the way Robin has faced adversity—and we look up to him as an example of one of the many ways to endure life’s challenges with grace and faith.

Thank you, Robin!

Are you having a hard time getting what you want? Is there anything you have been skipping over?

Today I get to share where in my life I learned this principle of doing what I was capable of in the moment to be able to build up to doing something that I thought was never possible.

The BASCIS in any area of life are foundational to the rest of success that can be wanted or expected in that area. Kobe Bryant was a fanatic about doing the basics and had a foundation capable of building a dynasty of Mamba accolades like MVP's and NBA championships.

YOU can do this too!

Start with what you CAN do.

We can approach our shortcomings and mistakes so much better when we understand whether or not we are experiencing NATURAL CONSEQUENCES or unnecessary PUNISHMENT.

Natural consequences can often times be accompanied by the guilt of making wrong choices. That guilt can encourage you to CHANGE and LEARN from your mistakes.

But the punishment... self-inflicted or from someone else... can carry a hefty amount of shame. This is shame is unnecessary and unrelated to our shortcomings. This is unhelpful and discouraging.

So... DON'T BEAT YOURSLEF UP!

You are human!

You are going to make lots of mistakes!

You are doing your best to be your best and that's enough!

In the middle of feeling alone and betrayed, it was nearly impossible to imagine celebrating a wedding anniversary that wasn’t consumed by the challenges of pornography.

For our NINE year wedding anniversary we want to share a message of encouragement!

Dylan shares her through these topics…

What was your reaction?

Did you ever think about leaving?

Why did you stay?

What does choosing to stay look like TODAY?

What would you tell others going through something similar?

CONTENT WARNING:

(Though we don't go into explicit detail of sexual abuse, some topics can be difficult to hear.)

I (Hayden) am so happy to share a deep and meaningful conversation I had with my aunt, Cindy Stain.

After losing her parents in a plane crash, Cindy, along with her five siblings, was orphaned at the age of four. Off to a rocky (understatement) start in life, Cindy had tougher challenges ahead where she would endure ongoing sexual abuse at the age of eight and then completely block it out of her memory as a defense mechanism until it resurfaced in her early 20's.

If there was someone who would be allowed to choose victimhood, it would be Cindy. But, she chooses to live her life as a VICTOR and learns from the seemingly insurmountable hand of cards she was dealt. Cindy has turned the events of her early life into fuel to learn about energy work, healing, service to others, massive acceptance and love for others, forgiveness and perhaps the highest vibrating energy frequency I have ever been in proximity to.

This episode is filled with incredible perspectives on life and trials as well as encouraging words to those who may have experienced big trauma at some point in their life.

Thank you, Cindy, for your time and willingness to share!

If you would like to learn more about working with Cindy and/or attending her free seven week course on Universal Principles, reach out to her by emailing her at:

[email protected]

Here are the phone notes I took in preparation for recording this episode…

-I don’t have it figured out but…

-I believe these principles, tools and truths can be applied broadly to habits and addictions generally

-This is not a blueprint for everyone but perhaps there is some insight for everyone

-Enlightenment vs Empowerment

Some of these insights came from

-Sara Brewers program

-Talk therapy

-Scripture study

-Church Talks/BYU Speeches

-Podcasts (Sara Brewer, Listen/Learn/Love)

-Books (Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Atomic Habits, The Infinite Atonement)

-Had to try hacks to know they can help but aren’t the ultimate solution (phone filters, phone monitoring, accountability partners, sobriety tracking)

-Learn about the brain (dopamine, trauma, cravings)

-Set Boundaries (I do not scroll, I do not use any social media, clean up music)

-Disrupt patterns (stop/drop/breathe, Journal, looking left and right to get brain back online)

-Allow room to grow (expect to mess up, process urges)

-Complete honesty (Self, Spouse, Family, Church, World)

-Help others

Truths I had to accept…

-I am loved and valued by God no matter how much I struggle

-There is no end to trying, no finish line, I never arrive

-I am not a bad person for struggling with pornography

-My weaknesses (pornography) are the reasons I turn to and need Jesus Christ

-When I allow Jesus Christ into my life, I am strong beyond my own capacity

-Even though I haven’t proven it yet, I am capable of change

-I am worthy of my life and the life ahead of me

When you are in a difficult moment or period of your life, who is the right person to think of to help get you through that time?

The right answer is whoever gets you through it!

This is different for everyone and is also going to be different for each difficult circumstance.

For example, I (Hayden) ultimately had to choose to remove pornography from my life for MYSELF. Whereas thinking about Tootsie in the middle of a grueling workout, instead of myself, is what gets me through them.

We each get to choose the person who we think of that will be the greatest source of inspiration to us through tough times!

CONTENT WARNING:

(Though we don't go into explicit details of cases and events, some topics in this episode can be difficult to hear)

Megan Carey is one of our dear friends and a helpful, loving member of our neighborhood, church and community.

Megan has worked a dedicated career to serving kids and their families during the worst moments of their lives.

We are privileged to hear Megan's story of working in Child Welfare and some of her amazing work serving children, teens and their families after cases of abuse of all kinds.

Megan shares how doing this important work has challenged her faith and shares the beautiful lessons learned BECAUSE of enduring these challenges.

We learn that Megan has a unique lens in which she views the world because of the experiences she has had in her difficult career. Attempting to look through this lens gives us insight into

-why others makes the choices they make

-how to treat those going through a challenge of their faith

-what to do if you are experiencing your own faith challenge

-some key takeaways for protecting children

This lens isn't always the rosy, comfortable perspective that we grow accustomed to looking through. As difficult as her work has been, Megan has endured through difficult cases because of her commitment to help others.

Megan, THANK YOU for a wonderful conversation and for giving a piece of yourself to help others.