Talk To Yourself Instead of Listening To Yourself (Motivational Speech)
Your Words Are Powerful: 8 Positive Speaking Habits to Build Yourself Up
Have you ever heard yourself saying:
“This situation (or person) is just impossible.”
“I’m a total failure at…” or “I’m hopeless at…”
“I’ll never be able to figure this out.”
“I’ll try, but…”
“It’s just such a nightmare.”
If you answered “yes” to any of those, then it’s likely you’ve unconsciously been sabotaging your success simply by how you speak. Psychological research has found that your subconscious interprets what it hears very literally. Your mind and body will follow the direction your words lead. So if you want more influence, confidence, connection or opportunities to come your way, begin with what you’re projecting into the world each time you open your mouth.
The words you use hold immense power. Power to fuel your confidence and ambition and power to make you feel anxious and inadequate. Power to make a strong first impression and power to be quickly forgotten. Power to create opportunities and power to shut them down.
As someone who speaks at conferences around the world, I’ve had hundreds of people say to me, “I could never do you what you do,” or, “Public speaking scares me to death.” Of course, not everyone feels called to be on a stage on a regular basis, but using language like “never” and “scared to death” can keep people who would benefit from building their presentation skills from even trying.
The saying, “The words you speak become the house you live in,” holds great truth. The world mirrors yourself back to you. If you use positive language about yourself and your ability to meet challenges and achieve your goals, then that is what will show up for you externally. Likewise, if you continually make declarations about yourself or your circumstances that echo hopelessness, incite fear, nurture anxiety and breed pessimism, then those words will shape your reality, too. And not in good ways!
Your language also impacts how others perceive and relate to you. If you often feel overlooked or undervalued, consider how your speech patterns are contributing to how others engage with you. Using “out of power language”—like talking yourself down, making excuses or second-guessing your opinion before you’ve even shared it—can completely undermine your authority, presence and power. Listen to any successful person and you will notice they use language that is positive, precise, action-focused and continually puts deposits of trust into their relationships.
As I wrote in Stop Playing Safe, neuroscience has proven that every one of us has the ability to rewire our brains with ongoing practice and to replace destructive habits of thought, speech and behavior with more positive ones. Turning negative speech habits into positive ones begins with transparency (since we often aren’t even aware of how we’re sabotaging our own success, it’s so habitual!). I recommend two things. First, begin by monitoring your language over the next 24 hours. Second, ask someone else to monitor you as well, as our habits are often invisible to us! Then make the decision to replace language that is qualifying, passive and imprecise with language that is positive, specific and declarative—the kind that puts you firmly in command, shifts your energy and, in doing so, makes you someone others want to listen to.
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