We have another short one for you to start off the new year, and we “Kraken” right into it. This week, Emma (somehow) scares Shannon with the legend of the Kraken and what it may actually be in the modern world, as the ocean is a very deep and scary place and researchers keep trying to see all of it. Turns out, neither of these hosts would like to see the bottom of the ocean. Emma also would like your poetry dissection papers to grade, please and thank you.

Sources:

The Mother Source on the Kraken, the giant squid, Akkorokamui, and Lusca

Nature Article: “Kraken versus ichthyosaur: let battle commence

Cryptid Wiki on The Kraken

Wired

Tennyson’s poem “The Kraken”

The Conversation

Mental Floss

University of Washington News

Encyclopaedia Perthensis

Merry Christmas, Witches! We’ve got a short one this week to get you in the holiday mood; Shannon tells Emma the terrifying tale of Grýla, the Christmas Witch of Iceland, and her crazy sons, the Yule Lads. Is there anything better than traumatizing your kids into behaving? Probably, but telling them there are thirteen trolls coming to lick all of their belongings might keep them in line while you prepare for the holidays. So take a quick break with us and snuggle in for some creepy holiday cheer!

Sources:

Smithsonian on Gryla and the Yule Lads

Iceland.is

The Reykjavik Grapevine

Mythical Creatures Guide

The Mother Source

Guide to Iceland on Gryla and the Yule Lads

Mental Floss

Villains Wiki

Iceland Mag

Vice

Would you want to live forever? If so, guarding the Holy Grail may be the job for you! This week Emma tells Shannon about the Knights Templar, their legendary banking prowess, and the possibility that they are still hoarding treasure to this day. They also had rules pretty akin to what we know of fraternities today: “A bro shall not lay his hand on another bro.” This is probably as close to a National Treasure fan podcast as we could get, so come join and get those bingo cards ready! Emma might just give you a freebie for Christmas.

Come visit our website! 

Sources:

The Mother Source on the Knights Templar, the cartel, and Le Morte d’Arthur

History on the Knights Templar, their rules, and the Grail

Britannica

LiveScience

Smithsonian Magazine’s article on the American “knights” 

World History Encyclopedia 

National Geographic’s interview with Dan Jones

The Tunnels beneath Acre

The treasure (maybe?)

Dear Diary, this year for Christmas I would like all the old books in the world, and I think I may know where to find them. This week Shannon dives deep into the tunnels beneath the Kremlin for the legend of the Lost Library of the Czars. Emma nerds out, the tangents are unending, and we may have figured out our drag king names. Also, is your name Ivan? If so, you may be eligible to be a groom proxy!

Come visit us at thispodcastdoesntexist.com

Sources:

Book Riot

Vlogbrothers on YouTube

Russia Beyond

The Journal of Library History (1974-1987), Vol. 18, No. 3 (Summer, 1983) (via JSTOR)

“The Unsolved Problem of Tsar Ivan IV's Library,” Russian History 14/1-4 (1987) by Daniel C.Waugh

Mother Source on the Library, on Ivan III (the Great), on Sophia, and on Ivan the Terrible

Ancient Origins

A treasure in the Blue Ridge? Almost a billion dollars? Uncrackable ciphers and a story that’s a bit too good? This week, Emma gifts Shannon with a very Shannon-y episode about The Beale Ciphers, a set of codes printed in the 1880s that continue to draw people in. If you find the treasure the codes lead you to, you could get your own McNugget of gold! Join us and find out if we can really dig up this treasure! Or if it's just another movie Shannon wrote on the fly (she's getting really good at it, you guys). 

Sources:

The Mother Source 

The Museum of Unnatural Mystery reprint of the pamphlet

“Discovered: The Secret of Beale’s Treasure” by Joe Nickell, found on JSTOR

Northern Virginia Magazine

Mental Floss

Virginia Living Magazine

The NSA’s stash of copies

A slew of underwater ghost towns beneath the depths of a lake that has been cursed since its creation? We’re in! This week, Shannon takes us to Georgia’s Lake Lanier, with mysterious deaths, a handless ghost, and some very very very bad soup. You won’t catch us swimming it, but you might see us on the beach with our eyes closed, meditating on Shannon's intro for this episode. Want a couple tangential stories? Stick around to the end for Emma’s own lake tale!

Sources:

CNN

Oxford American

Southern Gothic Media

Media Entertainment Arts WorldWide

Buzzfeed

StyleBlueprint

Travel Noire

“And the sloth shall cometh and slash thrice upon the man.”

There are so many tangents this week, ya’ll, as Shannon tries to avoid the story of The Sallie House at all costs. Emma went spooky, and nothing is spookier than a haunted house that might be haunted by something a bit darker than a ghost. We’ve got some spicy questions for the group chat, we accidentally write a horror film, and we determine that Robert the Doll is the King of Consent. Come listen and get spooked!

Sources:

WBUR: Is Atchison, Kansas, The Most Haunted City In America? 

Visit Atchison

“The Sallie House Haunting: A True Story” by Debra Pickman

Live SciFi TV on the Sallie House History and Haunting

Wide Open Roads

The Mother Source on Atchison, Kansas

Ghost Adventures, Season 13, Episode 2, available on Discovery+

Buzzfeed Unsolved: 3 Horrifying Cases of Ghosts and Demons

Do you have a nickname? Is it better than "Jazz"? The answer is no, we're telling you now. Tune in this week for a much more lighthearted listen as Shannon tells Emma all about the Great Brink's Robbery, one of the most notorious crimes in American history, or so we've been told. Not only was it one of the biggest cash heists in history, it also was chock full of perfect names. We've got Fats, Gus, Trigger,  Specs, and a few more we picked up along the way in this Ocean's 11-esque heist of the century. 

Sources:

LIFE: The Most Notorious Crimes in American History (print, 2008)

Wikipedia

FBI

New England Historical Society

The Boston Globe

History of Boston and Beyond

Did you like our new intro for this episode? We loved it, and it helped lighten the mood for Emma’s downer of a story: this week, she tells Shannon the sad tale of the disappearance of Walter Collins, the inspiration for the movie The Changeling. We learn not only that Emma apparently loves to tell stories of sad, missing children, but the real meaning of “petty cash,” our next album name, and how we each decided to run away from home as kids. So come on by and tell us your potential circles of hell!

Sources:

The Mother Source on the Christine Collins

The Mother Source on Gordon Stewart Northcott and the Wineville Chicken Coop Murders

Christine Collins and Walter J. Collins’ graves

Mental Floss

MammaMia Australia

St. Mary’s University Research Scholars

The Des Moines Register

Crime Museum

The LA Times

Ever been curb-stomped in a foreign country? We hope the answer is no, but that wasn't so for Lars Mittank, whose disappearance Shannon scares Emma with this week. We go through all the theories, realize that trains are also an option, what it means to "wear a beard," and what it would look like if Emma ever podcasted on her own (ya know, as an old lady). We wish you a delightfully spooky season, and buddy system up this year, friends, so you don't go missing and we have to put a Google Alert on you!

Sources:

Dark Tales

YouTube

Medium

All That’s Interesting

The Berlin Spectator

Grunge

Reddit