This week, it’s a bit of a grab bag. A grab bag full of beach sand, cinnamon rolls and sharp objects! This week, we’re a bit fried, so we’re trying shaking things up and doing scatterbrained variety pack episode on sandcastles, one of the most fun things you can legally do with a bucket, breakfast pastries, those glorious desserts of the ante meridiem, and pocket knives, a timeless must-have accessory of handymen, ne’er-do-wells, and wannabe tough guys the world over.

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected]

Intro contains clips from Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the You Already Knew That, a culturally insensitive Pillsbury Toaster Strudel commercial and Season 5, Episode 8 of The Simpsons. 

You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy (and quaint charm) than a dive bar. But what makes a good dive bar, aside from underwhelming decor and moderately-whelming beverages at an equally moderate price? Let’s discuss the charms of the American pub, tavern, watering hole and/or dank pit. 

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected]

Intro contains clips from The Simpsons, Hot Fuzz, The World’s End and Star Wars: A New Hope.

Oh boy! The original portable gaming device may not exactly fit into most pockets, but it sure found a warm and cozy place in the hearts of countless gamers, from young children to important Tetris-addict businessmen. We take a look back at Nintendo’s original grey, AA-battery devouring brick, and its place not just as an important part of our childhoods and gaming history, but as a landmark piece of technology that was way ahead of its time. 

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected]

Intro contains clips from a Game Boy, classic Game Boy commercials and King of the Hill

Whether you’re crying, hungover, a spy, a Terminator, trying to see if aliens are running society, or if it’s just really bright out, sunglasses are a must-have item. This episode, we don our rose tinted glasses of nostalgia (which are prescription, making everything in hindsight 20/20) and look back at the history of light-blocking eyewear. From the earliest iterations in the 12th century made of whalebone and geodes, up through modern marvels like BluBlockers, Pit Vipers and the immortal Ray-Ban dynasty, there are a lot of cool kinds of eyewear to, y’know, make you look COOL.

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected]

Intro contains clips from Cory Hart’s “Sunglasses at Night,” They Live, the BluBlockers rap, and the original Mortal Kombat movie.

Of all the stuff human beings have figured out, the ability to travel by air is definitely one of the most impressive. Even more impressive, this stunning achievement has become such a ubiquitous form of travel that it’s actually a little boring! But let’s take a moment to appreciate just how cool it is that flying machines exist, but that we’re allowed to go on them as long as we briefly take our shoes off before we get on board and don’t tamper with the smoke detectors in the lavatories. If anyone’s curious, the book Max got his Wright brothers trivia is “Made in America” by Bill Bryson, and it’s full of all sorts of delightful trivia.

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected]

Intro contains clips of an ancient newsreel, The Simpsons, and Airplane!

Not just part of a complete breakfast, but a complete breakfast in and of itself, the quintessential blue collar morning meal is an American staple to rival the noble cheeseburger… But what makes a good breakfast sandwich? Eggs, cheese, some kind of meat, stuck between some sort of complex carbohydrate. Surely no one could screw that up, right? Well, you’d think so. Join us as we discuss the merits of various mystery meat, from the controversially named Taylor Ham/Pork Roll to its weird Amish cousin, Scrapple, and our personal do’s, don’t’s, tips, tricks, and misadventures with this sumptuous morning delicacy.

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected]

Intro contains clips of Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, and Superbad.

From Cadbury Creme Eggs to Peeps to the ubiquitous egg-adjacent jelly bean, Easter candy is one of the sweetest parts of springtime. The vaguely pagan animal-centric traditions that come along with it really don’t make a ton of sense, especially in relation to the main event’s significance in Christianity, but we’re not complaining. So, let’s talk about oviparous lagomorphs, marshmallow baby chicks, and some of our fondest pastel-colored memories.

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected]

Intro contains clips of Cadbury Creme Egg and Peeps commercials, and Mallrats.

Whether you love labyrinths, mystery meatballs, funny sounding words or great deals on housewares and modular furniture, IKEA has it all. Join us as we follow the arrows on the floor through the history, charm, quirks, and shockingly dark side of the world’s largest furniture chain… that also sells cat leashes and hot dogs.

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected]

Intro contains clips from a commercial for IKEA’s first American store, Fight Club and Deadpool.

Arcades, as in a place where a bunch of arcade cabinets, pinball tables, and other assorted large and loud coin operated distraction units were collected to entertain people, started in the late 70s/early 80s. For the sake of this episode we’re gonna skip to this era and not dwell on the penny arcade/nickelodeon era of old timey crank machines you can still find at Disneyland or Fisherman’s Wharf or whatever. So yeah not, the ones you fed chump change to that showed a horse running or other stuff that used to make your grandfather lose his mind when he was eight and there was only one company making peanut butter. No, we’re talking about those dim, laser lit halls with the sticky neon carpets and maybe a counter where you could exchange tickets for prizes.

Intro contains clips from Terminator 2: Judgment Day (The Movie), Altered Beast, Pac-Man, Killer Instinct and Mortal Kombat 3.

Do you know the definition of insanity? Well, doing the same thing over and over again, but especially when that thing involves using a grenade launcher to blow the door off a wild animal cage, simultaneously freeing the dangerous beast, but also setting it on fire and pissing it off so much that it runs around biting bad guys in the neck while also setting them on fire too. And that’s a thing you can do (and which we’ve done) in numerous Far Cry games. Ubisoft’s long-running open world first-person shooter slash stealth action series has taken us to a lot of crazy places, literally and figuratively. Join us on a whirlwind tour of the highs and lows of this series, where it got its start, our favorite moments, and some tidbits of trivia and personal anecdotes about causing virtual mayhem in beautiful places.

Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected]

Intro contains clips from Far Cry 3, Far Cry 4 and Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon