In my conversation with J.R. Briggs the author of The Art of Asking Better Questions:Pursuing Stronger Relationships, Healthier Leadership, and Deeper Faith.

J.R. discusses the transformative power of asking better questions and how they can lead to deeper relationships, personal growth, and a more integrated life. He emphasizes the importance of hospitality, curiosity, and the role of questions in fostering community and connection.

Through personal anecdotes and insights, J.R. illustrates how living with arrows pointing out—focusing on others—can create a more fulfilling and joyful existence. He also explores the neuroscience behind questions, the four levels of questioning, and how Jesus exemplified the art of inquiry in his ministry.

Dr. J.R. Briggs is the founder of Kairos Partnerships, a coaching and consulting firm dedicated to equipping leaders through the intersection of spiritual formation and actionable leadership. An author of 15 books and host of the Resilient Leaders podcast, he also serves as a university instructor and denominational director.

Takeaways

Asking better questions can lead to deeper relationships. Hospitality is a healing practice that benefits both the host and the guest. Living with arrows pointing out encourages selflessness and community engagement. Curiosity is essential for personal growth and understanding others. Questions can transform conversations and create connections. The four levels of questions help deepen interactions and understanding. Jesus modeled the importance of asking questions in his ministry. Celebration and joy are vital components of community and relationships. Living an integrated life requires awareness of our masks and vulnerabilities. Depth in conversations is more valuable than efficiency.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background of J.R. Briggs 02:16 Cultural Roots and the Power of Food 05:32 The Importance of Hospitality and Community 07:14 Living with Arrows Pointing Out 10:04 Celebration and Joy in Life 12:39 Transforming Self-Criticism into Curiosity 15:52 The Art of Asking Better Questions 18:11 Curiosity as an Invitation 20:49 The Impact of Questions on Our Brains 22:49 Four Levels of Questions 31:13 Vulnerability in Asking Deeper Questions 34:26 Jesus and the Power of Questions 37:33 The Power of Questions in Engagement 39:45 Jesus as a Model for Asking Questions 41:17 The Depth of Questions vs. Answers 44:16 Inefficiency vs. Effectiveness in Leadership 46:30 The Importance of Asking Questions 48:35 Rediscovering Curiosity and Playfulness 52:52 The Impact of Questions on Personal Growth 56:07 Living an Integrated Life Through Questions

I interview Jared Ayers, head pastor at First Presbyterian Church in North Palm Beach, and author of You Can Trust a God with Scars: Faith (and Doubt) for the Searching Soul. We discuss the profound impact of shared meals, the significance of the incarnation in understanding human suffering, and the importance of honesty within Christian communities. We explore themes of hope, the illusion of control, the reality of sin, and the necessity of dignity in relationships. Ayers also emphasizes the need for vulnerability and authenticity in faith, encouraging listeners to embrace their struggles and foster inclusive communities.

Takeaways

Meals are a reflection of our shared stories. The incarnation shows God's deep understanding of human suffering. Hope comes from knowing we are not alone in our pain. Navigating loss requires community support and understanding. We often live under the illusion of control in our lives. Christianity addresses the reality of sin and human condition. Honesty about our struggles fosters a healthier community. Dignifying others is essential for building inclusive spaces. Wrestling with faith and doubt is a normal part of life. Living an integrated life means embracing all aspects of our experiences.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background of Jared Ayers 02:36 The Significance of Meals and Shared Experiences 05:28 The Incarnation and Its Implications 11:24 Understanding Suffering Through the Life of Jesus 17:16 Finding Hope in Shared Pain 23:15 Navigating Life's Challenges with Receptivity 24:14 Letting Go of Control 26:00 Understanding Sin and Its Impact 28:57 The Importance of Honesty in Faith 32:06 The Power of Grace in Community 34:53 Leading with Vulnerability 37:42 Dignifying Others in a Divided World 40:49 Wrestling with Faith and Doubt 45:31 Living an Integrated Life

Jaclyn Michelle Smith is the author of I'm Sorry I Cremated You: Finding the Funny in Life and Loss. It is a memior that quickly and intuitively cuts to the heart of our universal experience with grief and demonstrates how laughing at the irony of our human condition can provide the space to breathe and create meaning from the absurdity of it all.

In my convesation with Jaclyn Michelle Smith she shares her journey through grief, the importance of friendships, and how humor can be a powerful tool for healing. She discusses her experiences with food, community, and the role of improv in enhancing her communication skills. Jaclyn emphasizes the beauty found in pain and the significance of being present in our lives. Through her memoir, she aims to inspire others to cherish their relationships and find joy amidst life's challenges.

Takeaways

Friendship is essential for navigating life's challenges. Humor can be a powerful tool for healing and coping with grief. Improv teaches valuable lessons about listening and presence. Finding beauty in pain can lead to personal growth. Community support is crucial during difficult times. Cherishing memories and mementos can help in the grieving process. A positive mindset can transform our experiences. Life is a duality of joy and sorrow, and both can coexist. Being present allows us to appreciate the magic in everyday moments. We should strive to see the good in every situation and person.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Jaclyn Michelle Smith 02:59 The Impact of Food and Community 05:45 The Importance of Friendships 08:49 Navigating Life's Challenges 11:36 The Role of Community in Difficult Times 14:31 Finding Humor in Grief 17:42 The Journey of Writing a Memoir 20:42 Finding Beauty in Difficult Situations 23:33 The Duality of Life's Experiences 27:18 The Impact of Hoarding on Family Dynamics 28:37 Navigating Difficult Relationships with Parents 30:54 Finding the Good in Difficult People 33:58 The Art of Listening and Communication 37:14 Embracing the Unknown through Improv 39:27 Cultivating Childlike Wonder and Positivity 43:20 Living in the Present Moment 46:22 Growth Through Grief and Loss 49:04 Cherishing Life's Small Moments 55:32 Navigating Heartbreak and Memory 58:46 The Power of Kindness and Perspective 59:38 The Impact of a Poem and Family Legacy 01:01:46 Reflections on the Interview Process and Writing Journey 01:09:35 Exploring Faith and Curiosity in Relationships

How do we become more beautiful together? I speak with Julian Newman about just that.

Julian is the author of Beautiful Together: How to Become a Better Leader & Bridge Builder. He's the founder, and CEO of Culture Creative and The FutureCast Foundation. He is an altMBA graduate and inaugural Anthem Award-winning Diversity & Inclusion Leader of the Year, along with Trevor Noah.

His thought leadership has been featured in a range of media outlets including Forbes Magazine, Fox News, NPR and PBS affiliates.

We discuss the importance of leadership, empathy, and vulnerability in building connections and fostering personal growth. We explore the transformative power of shared experiences, the necessity of stepping out of comfort zones, and the role of curiosity and competence in effective leadership. Julian shares personal anecdotes and insights on navigating emotions, the significance of real conversations, and the journey of self-discovery. Our discussion emphasizes the need for meaningful interactions and the courage to be vulnerable in order to create a more beautiful and connected world.

Takeaways

Listening is crucial for meaningful interactions. Stepping out of comfort zones leads to personal growth. Shared meals can create transformative experiences. Curiosity and competence are essential for leadership. Investing small efforts can lead to significant outcomes. Finding meaning in our actions is vital for fulfillment. Vulnerability fosters deeper connections with others. Real conversations are necessary for resolving conflicts. Empathy can bridge divides and foster understanding. Reuniting with our true selves is a journey worth taking.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Julian Newman and His Work 02:57 The Importance of Presence and Listening 06:03 Experiencing Culinary Adventures and Comfort Zones 08:59 The Role of Collaboration in Leadership 11:38 Transformative Experiences and Personal Growth 14:46 The Hero's Journey and Embracing the Unknown 17:44 Curiosity and Competence in Adventure 20:43 Investing in Small Steps Towards Goals 23:45 Finding Meaning and Purpose in Actions 26:36 Rekindling Wonder and Curiosity 29:46 Building Bridges Through Conversation 32:42 The Power of Connection and Understanding 38:04 The Importance of Face-to-Face Conversations 38:59 Digital Disconnection and Polarization 41:55 Empathy Through Understanding 44:43 Reunion with Our True Selves 50:34 Vulnerability as a Bridge 56:03 The Courage to Apologize 59:49 Finding the Essential in the Immediate

In my conversation, with Pace Randolph he shares his journey as a musician, discussing how he embraced creativity during the pandemic by writing a song every day. He emphasizes the importance of focusing on the process rather than the outcome, and how embracing imperfection can lead to deeper connections through music. Our discussion also touches on the challenges of modern distractions, the joy of road trips, and the significance of community and belonging in our lives. Pace introduces his project, the Choir Imperfect, which aims to bring together 100k voices from around the world to create a collaborative album, highlighting the power of music to foster connection and self-discovery.

Takeaways

Creativity can flourish during challenging times. Embracing imperfection is key to artistic growth. Music serves as a powerful form of emotional communication. Finding balance in life is essential for well-being. Road trips can provide a sense of freedom and joy. Being present enhances our experiences and connections. Modern distractions can hinder our ability to connect with ourselves and others. Structure and discipline are crucial for creative success. Community and belonging are vital for mental health. Self-discovery is a journey that leads to deeper connections.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background 03:08 Creativity During the Pandemic 05:51 Embracing Imperfection in Art 08:54 The Power of Music and Connection 11:20 Finding Gratitude and Balance 14:20 The Importance of Disconnecting 17:01 Navigating Modern Distractions 20:11 The Pursuit of Effectiveness Over Efficiency 28:29 The Importance of Presence 37:08 Belonging and Connection 45:14 The Choir Imperfect Project 53:35 The Art of Showing Up

In my conversation with Austin Carty we explore the intersection of writing, personal growth, and the art of preaching. We discuss how technology, particularly AI, has revolutionized content creation, making it more efficient. Austin shares insights from his book, 'Some of the Words Are Theirs,' emphasizing the importance of time in both writing, and life experiences.

Austin Carty is pastor of Boulevard Baptist Church in Anderson, South Carolina. He holds an MDiv from Wake Forest University and a DMin from Emory University. He is the author of High Points and Lows: Life, Faith, and Figuring It All Out and The Pastor's Bookshelf: Why Reading Matters for Ministry, which received the 2023 Christianity Today Award of Merit and was named Book of the Year by Preaching magazine. His new book, Some of the Words Are Theirs: The Art of Writing and Living a Sermon.

Our conversation delves into themes of hope in hardship, the significance of place and personal history, and the journey of self-discovery through writing. We also touch on the complexities of human emotions, and the challenge of caring in a distracted world, ultimately highlighting the legacy of our words and actions.

In this conversation, I talk with Andrew Camp a former chef, a former pastor interested in all things food and spirituality and host of The Biggest Table. A podcast where Andrew explores along with his guests the intersection of food and faith-how food, the table, and hospitality might inform our lives in ways that are more conducive to the life we were created to live.

We explore the intersections of food, spirituality, and connection. We also discuss the significance of meals in fostering relationships, the importance of creating intentional spaces for connection, and the role of curiosity in understanding ourselves and others. Our dialogue also touches on the tension between joy and grief, the beauty found in the mundane, and the journey towards living an integrated life. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, Andrew emphasize the need for authenticity, humility, and the recognition of limits in our lives.

Chapters

00:00 The Journey of Podcasting and Technology Challenges 01:02 The Significance of Meals in Life and Spirituality 06:03 Food as a Medium for Connection and Memory 09:32 Breaking Down Barriers Through Shared Meals 13:54 Creating Intentional Spaces for Connection 17:54 Nurturing Curiosity in a Fast-Paced World 24:28 Finding Wonder in the Mundane 29:11 Creating Meaningful Connections at the Dinner Table 32:00 The Importance of Being Present in Everyday Moments 34:37 Intentionality in Relationships and Experiences 37:35 Navigating Expectations and Curiosity in Conversations 40:08 Finding Awe in Everyday Life 44:02 Living with Tension and Embracing Limits 48:09 Flourishing in Our Unique Journeys

What if joy isn't about choosing between the hard and the good—but embracing both? In this episode of This Undivided Life, I talk with Jillian Benfield, author of Overwhelmed & Grateful: The Key to Finding God's Goodness in All Life's Ups & Downs. We all want joy—but life is hard. Culture tells us to focus on the positive, yet science shows ignoring our pain only makes things worse. Jillian shares how real joy comes when we embrace both the hard and the good—the "&" in life. Through her own story and practical insights, she reminds us we can be honest about our struggles and grateful for our blessings. Because life is both hard and beautiful—and true joy is found right there in the middle.

In our conversation, I talk with Jimmy Darts author of his new book Undercover KindnessSaying Yes to Love, No to Fear, and Embracing the Life-Changing Power of Ordinary Generosity. Jimmy is a star in the world of social media best known for his heartwarming "random acts of kindness" and "giveback" videos that inspire more than twenty million followers to pay it forward and spread positivity in the world. He is GoFundMe's top organizer of fundraisers started for others, and his work has been featured in media outlets including CNN, Fox News, and Today.

We discuss the transformative power of kindness, the importance of maintaining a soft heart, and the role of questions in personal growth. We explore how to navigate disappointment with hope, the significance of generosity, and the beauty in everyday life. Our discussion emphasizes the value of attention and presence in relationships, the necessity of forgiveness for personal freedom, and the idea of living an integrated life filled with childlike faith and purpose.

Takeaways

Questions can be a catalyst for change. Maintaining a soft heart is essential for personal growth. Disappointment can lead to deeper hope and understanding. Generosity is a key to living a fulfilling life. We must actively seek beauty in the world around us. Paying attention to others can transform relationships. Childlike faith allows us to embrace life fully. Forgiveness is crucial for our own freedom. Living an integrated life means valuing every moment and interaction. Everyone has equal value and deserves kindness.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background 02:58 The Power of Questions 05:52 Maintaining a Soft Heart 08:47 Navigating Disappointment and Hope 12:00 Understanding Choice and Attitude 15:41 The Role of Generosity 19:01 Recognizing Opportunities for Kindness 21:41 The Ripple Effect of Kindness 24:50 The Importance of Perspective 27:58 Stewarding Your Heart and Mind 31:12 The Power of Small Acts 34:16 The Impact of Kindness on Identity 36:06 Valuing People and Paying Attention 39:12 Forgiveness as a Path to Freedom 43:05 Childlike Faith and Its Importance 51:20 Living an Integrated Life

In this episode we interview Tommy Brown, a pastor and author, about his new book, The Speed of Soul: Four Rhythms for a Quiet Life in a World of Noise.

We explore themes of life transitions, the healing power of water, the significance of everyday work, and the importance of simplicity and mindfulness in a complex world. Tommy emphasizes the need to revise our understanding of work, the role of technology, and the value of community and connection. The discussion culminates in a reflection on living a life of integrity and embracing the journey of faith.

Takeaways

The best day on the water is any day. Water has a healing and resetting power. What we do now matters, even when unnoticed. Following Jesus is simple but impossible without help. Multitasking doesn't work; focus on one thing. Love deeply, live quietly, and mind your own business. The kingdom of God is right here, in our everyday lives. Words matter; they can call out the good in others. We need to make a family out of no family. You can live quietly and love deeply.

Chapters

00:00 Navigating Life Transitions 02:37 The Healing Power of Water 05:47 The Significance of Everyday Work 08:31 Simplicity in Following Jesus 11:40 The Importance of Working with Our Hands 14:35 The Dangers of Multitasking 17:25 Revising Our Understanding of Work 20:27 The Human Element in Work 23:10 Finding Meaning in the Mundane 25:58 The Invitation to Engage with Life 28:11 The Simplicity of Spiritual Practices 31:22 Finding Treasure in Everyday Life 34:23 The Importance of Community and Connection 38:02 Living with Intention in a Distracted World 40:27 The Call to Love and Serve Others 47:19 Integrating Faith into Daily Life