In this profoundly moving conversation, Carrie M. Holt talks with author and advocate Jess Ronne about her powerful and unexpected story—one marked by disability, grief, resilience, surrender, and the refining work of God. Jess shares her journey from learning of her son Lucas’s profound disabilities, to walking with her late husband through terminal brain cancer, to unexpectedly meeting her second husband, Ryan. She opens up about the weight of long-term caregiving, the burnout that left her unable to get out of bed, and the painful process of releasing control when Lucas transitioned into a group home.

Together, Carrie and Jess explore themes of grief that evolve through the journey, anger God can hold, the idolatry of identity, and the ongoing call to surrender in every season. Jess also offers encouragement to caregivers with limited support and explains why she believes rest, community, humility, and honesty are essential for survival.

This is a conversation for every special-needs parent who feels exhausted, unseen, or afraid of the future—offering real hope, gentle truth, and the reminder that God is present in every season.

Eps. 31; November 18, 2025

Resources:
Jess Ronne’s Website

Social Media FB & IG

Caregiving With Grit & Grace 

If you enjoyed the show, leave a 5-star review!

• Get my new resource: 5 Practices For Processing Grief
• Click here if you want to be a guest on the show
• Carrie’s Facebook or Instagram
• Find me on Substack
• My book: The Other Side of Special

*This podcast features honest conversations with special needs parents and faith-filled guests. While I deeply value the stories and insights shared, the views and opinions expressed may not always reflect my own. Any resources listed are shared for reference, not necessarily a personal recommendation. I invite you to listen with spiritual discernment and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in what you hold onto and set aside.

In this episode, Carrie Holt closes her grief-cycle series by exploring acceptance, a stage often misunderstood in the journey of raising a child with disabilities or receiving an unexpected diagnosis. Carrie explains what acceptance is not—it’s not “moving on,” it’s not pretending everything is fine, or always a permanent emotional destination. Instead, she unpacks acceptance as surrender, rest, identity rebuilding, active waiting, learning to see God’s beauty again, and believing that life can still hold goodness even when it looks different than what we planned. Through Scripture, honest reflection, and practical insights, this episode invites special-needs moms to gently receive the life they’re living—while trusting the One who holds their future.

Eps. 30; November 11, 2025

Resources:
Why Fixing Feels So Heavy & Acceptance (and Acceptance Feels So Light) with Carrie Holt

The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion Volume 5
How Can You Survive Without…Part 1 - Wild At Heart Podcast with John Eldredge

If you enjoyed the show, leave a 5-star review!

• Get my new resource: 5 Practices For Processing Grief
• Click here if you want to be a guest on the show
• Carrie’s Facebook or Instagram
• Find me on Substack
• My book: The Other Side of Special

*This podcast features honest conversations with special needs parents and faith-filled guests. While I deeply value the stories and insights shared, the views and opinions expressed may not always reflect my own. Any resources listed are shared for reference, not necessarily a personal recommendation. I invite you to listen with spiritual discernment and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in what you hold onto and set aside.

In this episode, Carrie M. Holt continues her grief-cycle series by exploring lament—the Biblical practice of bringing our raw, honest emotions to God. Through Scripture, personal stories, and reflections from resources like Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, she explains why lament becomes the bridge between overwhelming sorrow and renewed trust. Carrie outlines the four parts of lament and reminds listeners that God is near, attentive, and tender toward our tears. For special-needs moms walking daily through loss, uncertainty, or exhaustion, this episode offers permission to slow down, name grief, and come to God honestly—just as you are.

Eps. 29; November 4, 2025

Resources:
Dark Clouds Deep Mercy by Mark Vroegop
Remind Me You’re Here by Jason Gray
Jesus & Women by Kristi McLelland (Pg. 76)
Prayer In the Night by Tish Harrison Warren
Miracle or Not - Devotion by The Worship Initiative

Scriptures Mentioned: Psalm 13, Psalm 77, Luke 39, 

If you enjoyed the show, leave a 5-star review!

• Get my new resource: 5 Practices For Processing Grief
• Click here if you want to be a guest on the show
• Carrie’s Facebook or Instagram
• Find me on Substack
• My book: The Other Side of Special

*This podcast features honest conversations with special needs parents and faith-filled guests. While I deeply value the stories and insights shared, the views and opinions expressed may not always reflect my own. Any resources listed are shared for reference, not necessarily a personal recommendation. I invite you to listen with spiritual discernment and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in what you hold onto and set aside.

In this episode, Carrie M Holt explores one of the most misunderstood emotions in the grief cycle: anger. Whether it’s anger at a diagnosis, inaccessible systems, unfair treatment, or even at God Himself, Carrie reminds us that anger isn’t inherently sinful — but it is an invitation.

She walks through real examples from her own life (including her battles with accessible parking rage!) and shares three powerful choices we can make when anger rises:

1️⃣ Choose Curiosity — Ask, What is this really about?
2️⃣ Choose Connection — Resist comparison; suffering speaks a common language.
 3️⃣ Choose Coming — Bring anger to God, not away from Him.

With honesty, scripture, and hope, this episode equips weary hearts to process anger without shame — and to find healing in naming what hurts most.

Eps. 28: October 21, 2025

Resources:

Scriptures Mentioned: James 1:19, Ephesians 4:26

If you enjoyed the show, leave a 5-star review!

• Get my new resource: 5 Practices For Processing Grief
• Click here if you want to be a guest on the show
• Carrie’s Facebook or Instagram
• Find me on Substack
• My book: The Other Side of Special

*This podcast features honest conversations with special needs parents and faith-filled guests. While I deeply value the stories and insights shared, the views and opinions expressed may not always reflect my own. Any resources listed are shared for reference, not necessarily a personal recommendation. I invite you to listen with spiritual discernment and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in what you hold onto and set aside.

In this episode, Carrie M. Holt discusses the complex emotions of guilt that often accompany the grieving process.  She unpacks the difference between conviction (from the Holy Spirit) and accusation (from the enemy), and how the “shoulds” we carry pull us deeper into shame and self-judgment.

Carrie offers practical advice for managing guilt, including the importance of rest, replacing lies with truth, relinquishing control, and reveal - giving our feelings to God. This episode concludes with a powerful reminder of the listener's identity in Christ, encouraging them to embrace their worth and value as God's beloved children.

Eps. 27; October 14, 2025

Resources:

"Reframing the Mom Guilt Narrative and Finding Your Strength by Amy J. Brown

Scriptures Referenced: Romans 2:4; II Peter 1:3; 

If you enjoyed the show, leave a 5-star review!

• Get my new resource: 5 Practices For Processing Grief
• Click here if you want to be a guest on the show
• Carrie’s Facebook or Instagram
• Find me on Substack
• My book: The Other Side of Special

*This podcast features honest conversations with special needs parents and faith-filled guests. While I deeply value the stories and insights shared, the views and opinions expressed may not always reflect my own. Any resources listed are shared for reference, not necessarily a personal recommendation. I invite you to listen with spiritual discernment and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in what you hold onto and set aside.

In this solo episode, Carrie explores fear and anxiety as one of the recurring stages in the grief journey for parents and caregivers of children with disabilities. She unpacks the distinction between fear and anxiety, drawing from Adam Young and Hilary Jacobs Hendel, and shares how perceived dangers often shape our reactions more than present realities.

Carrie vulnerably shares a personal story about facing her fears and explores how counseling, prayer, and leaning on Jesus helped reshape her feelings. She identifies common pitfalls in this stage of grief and four things to focus on as we shift our gaze from fear to the ONE who holds it all. Through Scripture and real-life application, she reminds listeners that even when our worst fears unfold, we are not alone. 

Eps. 26; October 7, 2025

Resources:
Eps. 4: When the Unexpected Involves Grief

Eps. 8: Experiencing Denial In The Unexpected Grief
AY Podcast: Episode 109: Anxiety: What It Is and How To Respond To It
There Was Jesus by Zach Williams & Dolly Parton
Scriptures Referenced: Matt 6:27; Mark 10:49; II Cor. 4:16-18; 4:7; II Peter 1:3

If you enjoyed the show, leave a 5-star review!

• Get my new resource: 5 Practices For Processing Grief
• Click here if you want to be a guest on the show
• Carrie’s Facebook or Instagram
• Find me on Substack
• My book: The Other Side of Special

*This podcast features honest conversations with special needs parents and faith-filled guests. While I deeply value the stories and insights shared, the views and opinions expressed may not always reflect my own. Any resources listed are shared for reference, not necessarily a personal recommendation. I invite you to listen with spiritual discernment and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in what you hold onto and set aside.

In this final episode of the month, Carrie is joined once again by her husband, Bruce, for a candid conversation about marriage in the midst of caregiving. From survival mode in the early years after their son Toby’s diagnosis, to counseling and intentional connection in later years, Carrie and Bruce share the real struggles, arguments, and victories of 25-plus years together. They reflect on the importance of teamwork, practical communication tips, and how family, friends, and faith sustained them. With honesty and encouragement, they offer wisdom for couples learning to love well while navigating hard seasons.

Eps. 25; 9/23/25

If you enjoyed the show, leave a 5-star review!

• Get my new resource: 5 Practices For Processing Grief
• Click here if you want to be a guest on the show
• Carrie’s Facebook or Instagram
• Find me on Substack
• My book: The Other Side of Special

*This podcast features honest conversations with special needs parents and faith-filled guests. While I deeply value the stories and insights shared, the views and opinions expressed may not always reflect my own. Any resources listed are shared for reference, not necessarily a personal recommendation. I invite you to listen with spiritual discernment and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in what you hold onto and set aside.

In this heartfelt episode of This Unexpected Life, Carrie M. Holt sits down with her husband, Bruce, to share the often-unspoken perspective of fathers in the world of special needs parenting. Together, they revisit the day they received their son Toby’s diagnosis, the wave of grief that followed, and the heavy burden of guilt Bruce carried for years. With raw honesty, Bruce describes the struggle of wrestling with thoughts he never expected to face, the power of prayer that changed his heart in an instant, and the long journey of learning to forgive himself.

As they reflect on 18 years of parenting, Bruce and Carrie discuss the tensions and tenderness in marriage, the moments of joy that shine through the challenges, and the surprising truth that caregiving can become an act of worship. This conversation is both vulnerable and deeply encouraging—reminding us that even in the darkest valleys, God meets us with grace, hope, and renewal.

Eps. 24; September 16, 2025

If you enjoyed the show, leave a 5-star review!

• Get my new resource: 5 Practices For Processing Grief
• Click here if you want to be a guest on the show
• Carrie’s Facebook or Instagram
• Find me on Substack
• My book: The Other Side of Special

*This podcast features honest conversations with special needs parents and faith-filled guests. While I deeply value the stories and insights shared, the views and opinions expressed may not always reflect my own. Any resources listed are shared for reference, not necessarily a personal recommendation. I invite you to listen with spiritual discernment and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in what you hold onto and set aside.

In part two of this conversation, Carrie M Holt continues her conversation with Breena Holt as she shares the heartbreaking diagnosis of Batten Disease for her son Ezekiel—and the faith and hope that carried her family through his final days. Breena vulnerably unpacks her dreams of God’s glory, the paradox of relief and grief in a terminal diagnosis, and the spiritual battle she faced as Zeke entered heaven.

Together, Carrie and Breena also discuss the raw mom-guilt that special needs mothers carry, how siblings process loss differently, and why God’s faithfulness continues to anchor their family, even years later. This episode is both heartbreaking and profoundly hopeful, reminding us that in the valley of the shadow of death, we are never alone.

Eps. 23; September 9, 2025

If you enjoyed the show, leave a 5-star review!

• Get my new resource: 5 Practices For Processing Grief
• Click here if you want to be a guest on the show
• Carrie’s Facebook or Instagram
• Find me on Substack
• My book: The Other Side of Special

*This podcast features honest conversations with special needs parents and faith-filled guests. While I deeply value the stories and insights shared, the views and opinions expressed may not always reflect my own. Any resources listed are shared for reference, not necessarily a personal recommendation. I invite you to listen with spiritual discernment and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in what you hold onto and set aside.

In this vulnerable conversation, Carrie sits down with guest Breena Holt to share her family’s journey of raising and ultimately losing her son, Ezekiel, who battled Batten Disease. Breena honestly shares about her anxiety, honest questions about God and suffering, and the dreams God used to prepare her heart for the road ahead. 

Together, Carrie and Breena explore the difference between the suffering Scripture promises (persecution for our faith) and the heartbreaking suffering of disease, disability, and death. Breena explains how Ezekiel’s illness brought “chaos” to his brain, and how she came to see that God is not the author of that chaos—the enemy is. Yet, even in the darkest moments, she discovered God’s presence, kindness, and faithfulness, redeeming what was broken.

This episode invites weary, grieving, or questioning parents to cling to the hope of Revelation 21: that one day every tear will be wiped away, and all will be made right. Until then, we live between grace—the cross and resurrection of Jesus—and glory, the day all will be made right again. 

Eps. 22; September 22, 2025

If you enjoyed the show, leave a 5-star review!

• Get my new resource: 5 Practices For Processing Grief
• Click here if you want to be a guest on the show
• Carrie’s Facebook or Instagram
• Find me on Substack
• My book: The Other Side of Special

*This podcast features honest conversations with special needs parents and faith-filled guests. While I deeply value the stories and insights shared, the views and opinions expressed may not always reflect my own. Any resources listed are shared for reference, not necessarily a personal recommendation. I invite you to listen with spiritual discernment and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in what you hold onto and set aside.