This week, we're not drinking Cali-Squeeze Blood Orange: “The State Algorithm has ruled that you are no longer allowed to own potatoes. Do not contest this decision and do not make trouble by attempting further purchases.”

This week, we are drinking Blood Orange Tangerine from Spindrift.

In 2026, we are giving up on Clean Girl. No more Barbiecore and the quiet luxury of Supreme Court Casual. No more Hailey Bieber. This is Chrysaliscore. This is Tired Girl. Cigarettes are back. And with that, we are drinking Sparkling Watermelon Juice With Added Ingredients from Trader Joe's.

For this episode, we review Pomelo by Sanzo. This is a 39 minute episode recorded on my 39th birthday. On the internet, everything is self-referential. Everything is a callback. I can barely post this episode, because the interface is blinking red. The computer is warning me that this episode title is not optimized. It's just a series of numbers. Nothing good ever came from numbers. It does not contain enough dramatic words. No traction. No anger. No conflict. The computer is telling me that no one will listen. That idea is making calm.

In this episode, we review Cucumber Premium Soda from Somthing&Nothing.

This week, we're reviewing White Peach & Yuzu from Moshi.

I don't know why I'm bleeping out the name. This has not nothing to do with anonymity. Perhaps to make it universal? Perhaps to erase and avoid platforming? Maybe I'm just embarrassed? What am I afraid of? This week, we're drinking Cardamom & Black Tea from DRAM.

This week, we're reviewing Holy Basil & Lemon from DRAM.

This week, we're reviewing Meyer Lemon from Langer's Organic.

Much sure that bright orange foam of the sony walkman headphones are correctly positioned against the ear. Make sure he's comfortable. Make sure he has water. This week, we're reviewing Strawberry Peach from La Croix.