Hello. My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my fourth thought.

I’m thinking about writing for the camera, first draft completed, theatricality on film and implicating the audience in the story. I just finished watching Fleabag and I can’t stop thinking about the show and Phoebe Waller-Bridge. Theatricality on film and being seen. Acknowledging the viewer. I’m also thinking about Lizzo and the lyrics to Truth Hurts.

Hi! My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my third thought. I’ve been thinking a lot about how we hold space and how we facilitate other people’s processes. I’ve been thinking a lot about therapy and therapists and their self-care and how they process all of the different things that they uh hold, encounter, listen to and um yeah just thinking about safe spaces for everyone to process... trauma

Hello! My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my second thought.

I uh just got home from dress rehearsal. It’s around one am Um I’ve been up since eight. I’m thinking about what’s on the list of things to do tomorrow, about submitting a grant, I’m thinking about vitamins and how they’re better if you take them with a fat, from what I’ve read thinking, I’m thinking about taxes, um and I’m thinking about delicacy and fragility and flowers.

Hello! My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my first thought. I’ve been thinking about how we learn and I’ve also been thinking about rituals before you go to bed like what people do that helps them to fall asleep. And if they do the same thing night after night after night or if people switch it up. It’s uh after 1 here and I just got home from a dress rehearsal so yeah just thinking about how people learn and how people get ready for bed.

I was at Union Station for the Raptors parade and it was so FUN, the energy and the humanity was so, really, kind of thrilling and warming. But also I am now reminding myself that for Fridays' big Climate Strike that I need get: water in a reusable bottle, I need sunscreen, I need toilet paper or tissues, maybe a first aid kit, a phone charger and some SNACKS. So if anyone happens to be reading this before Friday, hopefully you'll remember those things too! See you on the streets...

Ok you guys here’s a doozy.

Umm...So the last couple of months I have been toying with the idea of putting together a workshop? a seminar? a healing circle? a sharing forum?... to talk about how to manage life as a performer, as a woman, with a hormonal cycle. And so tips and tools and advice and sharing of knowledge and medicine about how to bring yourself healthily to the work and make sure that the work is healthy for you, and still available with its full breadth of possibility. And I think this could be a really helpful thing and I think it could be really cool and I think...Uhhhh yeah...

But here’s the thing... If I actually organized something like this am I (assume crazy voice) just feeding the patriarchal idea that women are Hysterical and they are actually Wildly Different from week to week and need Special Kid Gloves to deal with their Hormonal reality (drop crazy voice) !?!?!?

Ummm yeah so that’s why I haven’t actually talked about this publicly until now. And that fact ALONE Makes Me Crazy. What do you think?

This is ‘climate crisis week’ internationally leading up to the Big March on Friday the 27th - hope to see you there in the streets - and so most of my thoughts are about the actions that ARCA - Artists for Real Climate Action and thisisnotadrill.ca are up to this week - the theatres that are encouraging activism in and around their theatres this week, and Greta on the Youtube and her impassioned speech at the UN today and so I guess the main thought in my head this evening is don’t read the comments don’t read the comments don’t read the comments don’t read the comments don’t read the comments  just keep your head down,  keep your heart open, keep going forward, oh don’t read the comments.

We were moving some furniture pieces around tonight, in my home, and we moved a Billy bookcase, thank you IKEA circa 2001, probably, And, uh, oof, there was a lot of dust underneath the bookcase and, uh, I was getting tired and everything seemed a bit overwhelming so I hopped on my phone and read about JT’s... “costume” and uh, yeah, tonight is not a night for me to share any thoughts that I have about this, I have so many thoughts, but it’s not a night for me to share my thoughts. It’s a night for me to just think those thoughts allllllllll the way to the end of those thoughts, and then shut up, and then think some more. So here’s a picture of some of the dirt, under the Billy bookcase, instead.

Today my six year old daughter and a friend of hers from school gathered a huge bag of walnuts from the park next to the playground. After experimenting with different ways of exploding them on the concrete or by jumping on them, they brought the rest of their haul home, to the townhouse complex where they both live. And bit by bit - the girls - anywhere from 2 years old to 10 years from the townhouse complex, all emerged. Eventually gathering around a cauldron-like silver pot to crush up these walnuts and the meat within, adding water and chalk paste and stirring the cauldron with three wooden twigs…uhm…and chuckling. In other news, the Crucible is still playing at the Stratford Festival.  

Lately we've been doing a lot of talking about Do-ing vs. Be-ing at our house, and, um, trying to just take a - little - LOOK at that, and - the experience of that or our understanding of that at our house and, y'know, we do a lot: I think we are Big Do-ers, over here. Yup, we, uh, do...do do...haha! And uh yeah, and I'd like to do a little bit more Being without worrying about the 'To Do' do that's overdue. And watching my daughter do this really neat art exploration tonight with epsom salts and water and crystal and food colouring and paper towel, just, my head was just goin'..."do be do be do be do be do be do be doooo"