Thought Residencies

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is thought number three.

To eat the ice cream or not to eat the ice cream? That is the question. Is it better to be emotionally fulfilled and physically uncomfortable or to be physically well but emotionally deprived? I think life is full of these dilemmas and when we go for black and white solutions, we're usually missing part of the picture. This said, I'm eating the ice cream.

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is Thought #2.

I've been reading the book The Patterning Instinct by Jeremy Lent and it talks about how with the advent of agriculture, we developed the concept of boundaries and lines and squares. As long as we were hunters and gatherers, we saw the world as fluid – boundaries were permeable and everything was sort of a curve. But with agriculture, when we started growing things and having our own fields, we needed to determine what was ours and what wasn't. And that's when boundaries and squares and straight lines were invented.

So it's interesting to think since we were born in that system, that we see it as being inevitable. That's just our world. And it makes me wonder what kinds of boundaries and straight lines have we inherited and put in our stories and how could that be different?

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is my first thought.

I wonder what it means to be blessed these days. I'm sitting on my bed drinking a cup of Chai tea out of a cup that says "Blessed" and I think about all the climate disruptions, the coronavirus, um, terrible elections in many countries, protests – all the things that are changing this world – and… maybe being blessed just means being – … actually being able to sit on a bed and drink a cup of Chai out of a cup that says "Blessed."

Marcus Youssef here, thought number 15, I think.

In the rehearsal room with Back to Back Theatre working on their project, The Democratic Set.

Thinking about the way narrative is constructed in this image-based video/theatre project and how the creator/facilitators just kind of respond to offers that all these individual non-professionals and professionals make in these little, short pieces; and then weave them together through the kind of introduction of different prop elements and set elements and movement elements and construct meaning out of what is a random series of kind of offers.

Marcus Youssef, thought number 14. I'm thinking about the nature of this form, the thought residency. I think the intention is to capture a thought in the moment of having it. That's been my experience. I have a thought and I think, "OK, this will be great. This is a thought worth exploring or sharing." But it's funny. Something happens because I don't alway -- I don't usually go and record that thought. I kind of file it in my brain for later and then I do what I'm doing now, which is attempt to recapture that thought hours or a day later. At which time it's not the same. Because it's not happening in that context in my mind. And it makes me think of the Internet and how it's trying to capture the moment and how -- I said -- I have to stop because it's too long.

Hi, it's Marcus Youssef and it's thought number 13. I'm sitting in a rehearsal room with Back to Back Theatre from Australia, beginning work on their project, The Democratic Set. And thinking about Back to Back, which is a company, that has inspired me and my work, or aspects of my work, for close to 15 years. It's an ensemble that is mixed-ability. It's neurodiverse folks and neurotypical folks, and they make extraordinary shows that—in which disability, intellectual disability, is not the focus at all. It is just a fact that occurs in the performances. And I'm super excited to have the opportunity to work with them for the next week and also really shy and feeling sort of useless. (At this moment, ed.)

Marcus Youssef's Thought Residency is supported by the Greater Vancouver Professional Theatre Alliance.

Hi, it's Marcus Youssef. Thought number eleven.

I'm thinking about the recent events in Iran and the assassination of the Iranian political and military leader. And then also in particular, the images of his funeral and the sort of breathless coverage of the people who are trampled and the millions of Iranians who are out, at least according to the news reports I saw, mourning his death. And the way this image of millions of Iranians out in the streets has driven the narrative of the West's relationship to Iran and the Middle East more broadly for such a long time. And how these stories just keep repeating with the same kind of exact visual representation over and over again. Especially in the era of 24 hour news where it's like every single thing seems important. Yet this is exactly what we were thinking and feeling and seeing and being told in the wake of the Shah's death in 1980 or not. Not the Shah sorry, the Ayatollah's death.

Hi, it's Marcus Youssef and this is number 11.

I'm thinking about - whatever - the usual thoughts of how toxic social media is. But in particular about - the fewer and fewer times I'm on social media recently - how those feelings of resentment and upset I have about my friends posts, which are always about their success. And thinking about Shoshana Zuboff's book, The Age of Surveillance Capitalism, and all the data analysis stuff that's come out in the last year.

And how I just literally want to talk to all of my friends and say, let's stop. Like me too, because I post successes on social media too. Because it feels like the only way to advertise it. But like, to just like, let's just stop. Let's just stop. Can we all just stop? Which I get is only part of the picture, but it's what I want to do.

Hi, it's Marcus Youssef. Thought number 10.

Thinking about the number of times that I've been in rehearsal rooms, mostly as a writer recently, and had my language or perspective or presumptions challenged – often about gender fluidity or, I guess, gender identities. And how that's been mostly great. Like, I'm always kind of like, "Huh? What? Huh?" And that makes me think about the condition of getting older, and as a political person who always thought they would be on the cutting edge and leading the thinking on how we think about ourselves and each other relationally... how that changes. And what an interesting, provocative and kind of cool place it is. If difficult to occupy – being the one who doesn't know.

Marcus Youssef here. Thought number nine. Thinking about a conversation I had with Sarah Benson last week. She's the artistic director of Soho Rep. And was a big part of developing the play Fairview, which is an extraordinary play about race in the United States, and representation of race in the U.S. In which, like so much of the work I'm most excited by right now, the form, formal inventions perfectly reflect the analysis and the exploration and investigation of the content. Anyway, talking to Sarah about how that occurred, like how they discovered these formal inventions. Because it's pretty it's pretty formerly inventive. It starts like you think you're in a three-act play and you're not at all. And yet you are. And it was heartening to hear from her how long and involved that process was and how much time it required. And how many investigations of what they were doing and throwing out what they were doing or digging deeper into what they were doing. Just a good reminder of how formal invention, yeah -- is as deep - like a struggle -- as any other kind of creation.