John Moffitt of the Denver Broncos cites reading Noam Chomsky as one of the reasons he quit football, Rand Paul uses footnotes, and a Kansas City Christian Rescue Mission bans the local atheist group from volunteering at the annual Thanksgiving event.

Kellogg’s apologizes for their Tweet on feeding the hungry if they get retweets, an artist in California makes animal sculptures entirely from pipe cleaners, and this famous actor refuses Twitter!

Obama now travels with a portable tent, Table 6 in Anchorage has an odd way of garnishing a Bloody Mary, and a performance artist in Moscow shocks tourists.

A fight broke out at a Chuck E Cheese in Chicago, a travel company that specializes in vacations for toys, and Fox News criticizes the apparent US zombie obsession.

Lebron James wants to play in the NFL, the buying power of $100 in 1557, and the newest sandwich craze in Japan.

A high school in Texas suspends a student for taking the SAT, divorce cakes, and a course charges fees to be homeless?

Nine in ten travelers don’t want reclining seats on planes, Bill O’Reilly compares ACA to a young girl attending a dance with a vicious motorcycle gang, and Miley Cyrus on the Michele Bachmann role.

A college professor who films under students’ skirts, a congressional staffer in Missouri leaves a gun in the restroom and the Pope sends mixed messages.

Howard Schultz doesn’t want guns at Starbucks, George Zimmerman goes AWOL, and are popular bathroom wipes clogging our toilets?

A mom gets a DUI picking up her kid from elementary school, Madonna has a penis bong and GWAR petitions to play the Super Bowl.