Wherein the narrator, a newly-appointed bartender, presents us with two spooky tales about customers to whom he's been serving daytime drinks--presents us, as well, with a careful critical dissection of a Donald Trump phonecall, and a glimpse into Giorgio the Synth King's latest project.

Wherein the narrator goes on, at yet greater length, about his new job as a server at a pizza parlor, and also tells an old Buddy Hackett joke and wonders at his own use of certain words over others and why, despite being ~happy~ as a server, he's so relentlessly self-deprecating and condescending about it.

Wherein the narrator provides exhaustive detail about his new job at a pizza parlor, digressing briefly to address sex in his first (and last) long-distance relationship, the horse in his neighborhood, and how he was a very bad drug dealer in college.

This episode sponsored by the LEARN SPANISH CON SALSA PODCAST.

https://www.learnspanishconsalsa.com/podcast/

Wherein the narrator assesses the issue of the least-pronounceable condiment, addresses his departure from a recent job, and talks about becoming a rideshare driver and discovering the radio again after nine months in quarantine.

Wherein the narrator attempts to start doing two episodes a week by releasing a shorter episode, comprising little vignettes, in advance of Friday's proper monologue.

Wherein the narrator addresses his interest in the fact that if he were president then he too would have an airplane with a desk inside, and also he quotes "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" and Sergio Leone's forgotten masterpiece "DUCK YOU SUCKER," and then riffs for a bit about wanting to watch the news all the time. Also he is high throughout and this botches his effort at sticking to the script.

Wherein the narrator returns from hiatus and talks about Kindle, noisy children, a masturbating Hungarian author and also provides a full-length commentary track for Tod Browning's 1931 adaptation of DRACULA.

Wherein the narrator gets a little too personal and riffs about the status of his book, and some other personal stuff, and then wraps it all up by reading an excerpt of the book he's been talking about the whole time--this episode's followed closely by a second one that's meant to cleans the palate and so, if you're just discovering the podcast, this is absolutely not the episode to start with.

Wherein the narrator has an epiphany about gardens before presenting his roommate's pitch for a TV show in which Jar-Jar Binks does nothing. Finally, he addresses Patricia Cornwell's theory about Jack the Ripper and then, in a long epilogue, talks about how he recently burned some professional bridges and feels pretty OK about it.

Wherein the narrator recounts some of the heavier things he read in two books about the September 11th terror attacks--and then kinda free-associates for about forty minutes.